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1⃣9⃣ on the 19th 🎉🎈🎉 #itsmybuurrffdayyy #tunupdeechune #NeishaDayinfulleffect #yeahImayoungin #sowhat #youwilldiefirst #iwillmakesureofit #betonit
Two Thousand Fifteen.
I know were already a week deep into 2015, but I wanted to write this to hopefully keep myself more on track this year.
2014 wasn’t a very good year for me. In just a few words, this past year was the year that I felt the most alone; I felt the most depressed; I felt I lost myself completely. Even just typing this all out right now is bringing up rather unpleasant feelings….I want 2015 to be the year in which I at least started finding pieces of myself. I don’t want to say that this will be the year in which I will find myself, because not only is that super cliched, but it’s also very unrealistic. Timing like that is something I cannot predict, so for now, I’m just searching.
I do want 2015 to be a year that matters though. I want this to be the year that I start taking classes again — without having to take another semester off due to another emotional breakdown. I want this to be the year that I feel financially stable, both for myself and my mother. I want this to be the year that I feel like I’m not the reason for any financial instability, if there must be any. I want this to be the year that I reclaim my independence. I want this to be the year that I can truthfully say that I am happy with my life again.
This year I want to make goals for myself. This year I’m going to take responsibility for my actions; I’m going to finish the things I’ve started; I’m going to deal with current problems presented to me, instead of ignoring them. I don’t know if I’ll be able to accomplish all of these, but I want to at least try.
In essence, 2014 was in the past and that’s where I want it to stay. I want 2015 to be the bandaid to the big gaping hole of fuckery that was 2014. So cheers to the new year! Hope everyone has had a good first week & will continue to do so for the remainder of the year~
