I cannot explain the feelings of insecurity I get on a hot day,
I know I shouldn't care but I over analyse what they might say.
living in constant fear that my body is being evaluated and judged by others
I know they are staring at what slips out from under the covers.
I am non deserving of their pity, I put myself through this pain,
I am terrified of their judgement, these thoughts drive me insane.
standing out in many crowds, all eyes on me is what I hate,
I know I always catch their gaze, I fear that I do not equate,
to what their standards of beauty may be,
I hope that they will never see,
all my imperfections stand out,
but I know they will without a doubt,
this is what my life has become,
god I hate being under the sun,
sleeves at my shoulders, shorts to my knees,
I am so under dressed, I know they don’t like what they see
in desperate attempts to cover up,
I demonstrate how much I suck,
so insecure of who I am,
I’ll never be as confident as I hope I can,
if I get one more dirty look I will make a runner,
I just really fucking hate summer.
By Charlie
14/12/2014