Idle Thoughts.
I’ve been chatting with one of the gnomes here in Ironforge, specifically Tinker Town. They suggested I start keeping a journal to help clear my mind, and alleviate my stress...So, here is page one of my Journal, I suppose, or idle thoughts..Either way.
I Tend to find myself daydreaming alot, as I work, of places I’ve never been, of things, I’ll never see. I suppose this is a common place thing. As common as a bluebird in the midst of summer, or an ant apon the cobblestone of Stormwind. I think of the being out in the rain, so familiar, like the scent of the sea, or of the the feeling of grass under my back...though I find most of all my thoguths keep traveling back to a particular individual. In Gilneas, I never had people close to me, other than my father. There were friends, and there were acquaintances, but never someone I held dear. Never someone I was ever truly excited to see. Now though, I find my thoughts ever turning back in time, and eagerly hoping for the future...Blonde hair that shields my eyes from all around, the way she curves her smile, even the sound of her cane hitting the stone. My heart races, and the very meaning of our encounters comes to question...
I’ve never truly been a nice person, though none will ever tell you as such. I give to charity, because it makes my business look as though it cared...I help those on the streets to spread my reputation. But I’ve never, truly cared. At one point in my live, months ago. I was nearly married. Enagged to a beautiful woman who had barely a coin to her name. McKenzie, was her name. A butcher of old town...when we split, I was heart broken. Her adventures ate into her time, and though I had wished to be with her, it could not have worked. Now, months later, I find myself at a cross roads. I find a woman who, for no less words than I can muster, cares, maybe even loves me...When I’m with her, I do not feel the coldness that has wrought itself in my soul since leaving Gilneas, nor do I feel the burning of my magics, so deep in myself, corrupting me, twisting me into what they wish...that demon’s magic, as some may put it. I am conflicted..When I am with her, I have thoughts, of normalcy, of a place not so dark, or devoid. She thinks of me as innocent, at times, and at times, at least, with her...I am. I am innocent, I’m loving...I care for her...Damn all that lives I care for her in ways that I can not fathom. She pushes me..makes me wish to be a better person, and in ways, since meeting her..I am...I find myself, girly, at times, giggly, even. She makes something inside me shine, something I had thought lost apon leaving Gilneas, only once recovered through McKenzie...I find my heart bursting through mine chest, beating, leaving me breathless when I catch sight of her, in my dreams, or in front of me...who is this woman who cares,so much, and captures my soul...oh, the irony, in a trade where souls are peddled, and used as nothing but magical fodder...I find myself trapped...I undertook this art in order to protect those who I love...but never had I thought to find one to love. Not again, not since the first...Now that I have found it...am I worthy to keep it?...Oh Kimi...