#j. kim

[grrl-beetle]

J. Kim

[rawsmackdownnxtdivas]

Flashback Photoshoot - J. Kim

[rawsmackdownnxtdivas]

Flashback Friday - J. Kim (Diva Search 2007)

[dirtyjongin]

[water-twinkie-blog]

If anything happens, I'd just like to let you know that I'm sorry. There's a limit of how much I can help you and I'm disappointed in myself. I know that I'm not at fault, and I know the ending is determined by you, but I just wish there was more I could do.

I've done all I could, but it's hard to accept the fact that I might have to say good-bye to you. Friends come and go, but I really wish you didn't feel like leaving. By now, you're too far from my grasp. I can't catch you again. I can't pick you back up this time. Maybe, one day, you'll learn to depend on yourself and become strong.

[water-twinkie-blog]

I've tried at least a million times to comfort you, to ensure you that people care, and to prove to you that suicide isn't the answer, but I don't understand. I don't understand how you see yourself or what you hear when you speak. When I hear your voice, all I hear is a plead for help. But why can't you hear your voice the way I hear it?

I've tried, and I'm tired. I've lost sleep, I've neglected my academics and my boyfriend, just to help you. But from where I'm standing, I realized that I can only do so much to help you. I'm not a professional psychiatrist or a counselor, and the truth is, I don't know how much more I can help you. 

I'm not saying that I've given up. I'm not saying that I pity you. I'm not saying that I don't care about you, because sincerely I do. I've just been putting more time and effort after each attempt to make you feel better; to let you know that there are people here for you, and that there are people who want you here. I'm just saying that I just can't. I've reached my limits, and I'm at the point where I'm pushing the same button, expecting a different result every time.

Do yourself a favor, please. Go see a counselor. You need it.

[water-twinkie-blog]

Motivating a friend.

He told me he's stupid. He told me that he wants to drop out of school because he's unable to learn. But then he told me he wants to support his mom, rather than having her support him.

You tell me you're working as hard as you can, to the best of your ability, yet your grades don't meet your satisfaction. You have to remember that you're at school for a reason, not just for learning purposes. You're there so that in the long run, you will make something great out of yourself. However, you're not going to get anywhere with an attitude like that. Push yourself and if that doesn't work, push yourself even harder. Right now, you're at a community college and if you make it through this, you might go to a university and get a higher education.

There are many people who support you, and they're not supporting you so that you can just quit. They don't have high expectations either, they just don't expect you to quit. But if you don't believe in yourself anymore, who will? Instead of pitying yourself now, do what you have to do to get through this. I know you can.

I know you want to give up. I know you want to quit because you simply don't see the point. But honestly, if you do quit, it will be one of your biggest regrets. If you quit, you'll eventually see that you let yourself go, and pity yourself even more than you do now. The moment you give up, is the moment you are a complete, utter, failure. So do yourself a favor and push yourself. Make yourself feel as if you accomplished something rather than working for nothing.

[water-twinkie-blog]

There's always a limit of how much one person can take in but, unfortunately my parents don't see that. They don't realize how much pressure and stress they put on my shoulders every single day. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Doing the full I.B. diploma is extremely stressful by itself; it consists of having to stay up almost every night and just tons and tons of work. Maybe I just don't manage my time well enough to do the full I.B. diploma. Sometimes, I just feel like giving up.

I can't ever seem to satisfy my family with whatever I do. I get lectured/yelled at almost every single day, whether it's about school, going out too much, or staying up too late. It's reasonable though; I take 4 hour naps when I get home from school, I skip dinner and eat when I'm hungry, and I get a few bad grades. There are those days where my family completely ignores me. They'll acknowledge my sister with a smile, and when I greet them, all I get is a stern glare. They're disappointed, but I don't think there will be a day where they'll ever understand what it's like to be in my position. They simply don't get it.