#jackal is yapping

[jackalsight]

Me and my fistfight with human anatomy and proportions everytime I draw like Sisyphus and His boulder

[jackalsight]

I was just sitting here thinking, looking at my most recent art. And it genuinely made me smile. Because I know that if me in middle school could’ve seen this, she would’ve been *ecstatic*.

“*WE* did that!?”

“Yeah, we did kid.” :] ❤️

Even through all the people downing me over the years kept me from creating for a long time- I still found my love for it again. I found my niche and it’s brought me immense joy.

I guess what I’m saying is, don’t let other people tell you your art isn’t worthwhile or worth developing.

Love yourselves, uplift each other, and let your joy guide your brush strokes.

[jackalsight]

Has anyone else had a childhood like mine? Growing up the weird ndv kid from a rural community in a red state, yes— but beyond that, being both weird enough that people were either scared of you/shunned you- but not enough to outwardly bully or hurt you? Like people were polite to you, but outside of one or two friends- everyone else would rather just not interact with you.

I wasn’t aggressive or anything and was mostly quiet and kept to myself. Outside of maybe having a biting way of speaking, that good ol’ 2x4 of blunt autistic honesty.

I just wanna know if anyone else also inherited The Aura of Intimidation™️? I still have it to this day even when I think I’m masking.

[jackalsight]

Check out this hip new thing its called “Pan forgets shit all the time” I will forget I made this post 👍🏻

[jackalsight]

There are two wolves inside you. One is ADHD the other is Autism.

[jackalsight]

what are your favorite animals?

OUGH!! Hi friend! That’s a good question and honestly the answer may be surprising!

My favorite I think would have to be stoats. Absolutely wild lil critters. Small and cute but able to take down prey like twice as big as them. BIRDS, EVEN!!! I also love Jackals, foxes, wolves. (I was the wolf girl in my middle school class lmao, if that explains anything 🤣) Rats and mice, of course!

[jackalsight]

A strange thought has just occurred to me. That perhaps most folks around me don’t like *me* but rather the *idea* of me. Between some sort of strange neurodivergent phenomena that makes neurotypical folks avoid me, almost like an uncanny valley effect.

Now, hear me out. People like me. Before I open my mouth and start speaking. Before I challenge their preconceived notions of what I should be. What I should say. Before I shatter their projections that they’ve placed on me of what I would be like. It’s strange.

Living in a world that wasn’t built for you. In one that doesn’t love the same way you do. That sees your kindness as an exploitable weakness.

It won’t stop me. I’ll still continue to care, as I always have. It’s just who I am. It’s also a promise I made to a girl whose name I never got to know. That I’d keep being kind.

…I hope her and those who went on before me are proud of me. And that as the veil is its thinnest tonight, that they can see how hard I’ve tried. And that in turn, I still remember them.

Blessed Samhain.

[jackalsight]

I’m using this blog (along as a place for my art and comic) as kind of a place to practice saying what’s on my mind without putting a paralyzing amount of thought into it, worrying about how it will be perceived.

It’s been an unfortunate facet of how I was raised to always prioritize other people’s feelings before my own. At 27, I’m still trying to figure out how to advocate for myself. Being neurodivergent is so fun fun fun *FUN*!

So, don’t feel bad if you’re in a similar place. No matter how old we are, everyone is at a different place in their journey. I think that’s beautiful. I also think it sucks ass at times.

Because not everyone understands your struggles. And that’s ok. I just wish it didn’t make communication and getting help more difficult.

Ok goodnight I love you.

Stay safe.