Scars That Won't Heal
Dunbar sat under a tree. His fingers curled around a pen. He felt somebody standing in front of him. His eyes looked up. He saw Jackman standing in front of him. His eyes narrowed slightly. "Can I help you?"
Jackman gulped. "Yeah. I was wondering if you and I could talk?"
Dunbar lifted an eyebrow. He closed his book. He motioned for Jackman to speak. He could tell that the man seemed nervous. "Has Calley always been hostile? I feel like no matter what I do she's-"
"She's gone through a lot, boy. Her demons are some the worst she's ever had to face. I think you know the cause of it." gruffed Dunbar.
"I'd be ashamed to say I don't quite understand." countered Jackman.
"You don't remember? Do you?" asked Dunbar.
Jackman shook his head. Dunbar exhaled slowly. "It took time but when the whole thing of Chug Patrol being set up here came, she heard you were being sent here. That's when it clicked. Years ago, she was very pregnant. Scared when she arrived in Three Horns. Looking for work. I took her in." he began to explain.
"She mentioned she was alone. Had been for a while. She had loved a man dearly only for him to turn his back on her when her child came into the picture." Dunbar's gaze fell on him. "A man matching your description. Seeing her visibly upset with you being here connected the dots for me."
Jackman searched his memory. He had faint images of a woman. It dawned on him. Calley looked very different from the woman in his head. The woman he saw had fire and light in her eyes. Calley had no light in her eyes. When she worked it was like she had to. The woman in his head spoke of a grand vision. Her face was blurry.
Jackman then felt a memory seep into the back of his mind. His throat grew dry as it played.
"You have any idea how this will set us back?! We've worked too hard for life to change now!" he shouted.
Calley looked confused. Her features had sadness flash across them. She stared up at his once warm blue eyes. Shock lit them up. "I can't do this. Not right now! We are so close!"
"We can work it out." she comforted. Her voice shook. "We'll find a way to make our new lif-"
"In this fucking world?! I think the fuck not!" he snapped.
Her eyes narrowed. "You are being a selfish ass! "
"A selfish ass?! I'm being realistic!" he shouted back.
Her fists tightened by her side. Tears streamed down her face. "I thought you-"
"I love you. I do. I really do but I can't do this." he clenched the sides of his head.
"Can't do what? The child or me?" she growled.
Jackman's eyes narrowed. His voice grew harsh. "That's not fair. Don't play this game."
"Or what? You afraid I'll shatter your precious little fucking dream? Hurt your ego? C'mon Jacky boy what is it?" challenged Calley.
"Now your being a conniving little bitch." Jackman loomed over her. Calley reached for the amulet. She took it off. She pushed it into his chest.
Jackman stared at her. "wha-"
Ice filled her voice. It shook. "Let me make it easy then." She then stormed off. Jackman stood in silence as the vision ended. He wanted to make the past him reach for her. To stop her. To yank her back and tell her he didn't mean it.
He thought about the days that had happened afterwards. She was cold then too. Rarely wanted anything to do with him even on patrols. Jackman had told himself that it was for his future. That it would be best if he didn't get close to her again.
Dunbar eyed him. Jackman snapped back to reality. His hands tightened. "I get it now..." he croaked.
"Do you?" asked Dunbar.
Jackman nodded slowly. He turned to go. "Dunbar..."
"Yes?"
"Thank you." uttered Jackman as he walked away.
Calley was sitting in the office. She clicked her pen as she stared at the computer monitor. She jumped hearing the door open. Jackman stood before her. Calley tsked. A soft hiss left her mouth.
"Calley, I-I spoke to Dunbar." he began.
He saw her tense behind the desk. Despite how short she was, she looked beautiful. Scary but beautiful in the same breath. Her eyes darkened in anger. Jackman swallowed. "He told me that when you came here. You...you went through something. Back at the academy. There was woman I knew then. She looked like you. Sounded like you. It didn't click until he told me that woman was you."
She looked away from him. Her pen getting pushed further into the desk. "Oh yes and we had a wonderful conversation about how I ruined your future." she spat.
"I know. I..I wished I could take it all back. I wished I hadn't of-" A lump formed in his throat.
"You never loved me...did you?" asked Calley.
"I-"
"Be honest." pushed Calley.
Jackman looked down. "i loved you. Dearly. You were a light in the dark. You kept me together. Grounded and reminded me that I could always be better."
Calley rolled her eyes. She kept her head turned away. He got closer to her. He saw her tense up. It didn't hit him but he saw scars of all sorts on her. Bruises that looked to have healed with time. "I can't imagine what you've been through since we parted ways."
"Get on with it, Jackman."
"I'm sorry, Calley. I truly am. I should have not of let my fear take over. I was a coward and a jerk. I thought then it was best if I just didn't stay with you." His hand touched his other arm.
The silence hung in the room. He got closer. Calley tried not to look at him. She felt the walls she kept trying to put up slowly give way. "I did love you, Calley."
Calley swallowed. He saw her throat bob. She let out a shaky breath. "I spent years of my life afterwards hating myself." she whispered. "Thinking I wasn't good enough. I wasn't worth anything. I told myself that when Calem got older I would-"
Jackman pulled up a chair. He knew what she meant. His hands snaked across the table. He reached for her. Calley at first seemed scared. Like he was going to strike her. Calley reared back. Her hands near her shaking. He retracted only for her to grip his hands.
Calley began crying. Tears streamed down her face. He tucked his hands over one of hers. "Someone hurt you. Didn't they?" he asked gently.
She nodded slowly. "Convinced myself I deserved it." she rasped.
He shook his head. "No. No you didn't. You shouldn't of punished yourself for me being shitty towards you."
She sniffed. He held her hand up to his face. "I promise you. While I am still breathing. I am not going to leave you again. I will not hurt you like that ever."
Calley eyed him. She trembled. "You promise?"
He nods. "I promise." He then kissed the back of her hand. "You have my word."