You know I'd ask you to do pretty much all of them, but I'll settle for whatever you want to answer from 2, 5, 18, or 24 lol. (A dm-ed link for 2 would be nice though lmao jk ily.)
2 // What work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?
A lot of my older stories were terrible. Like sincerely---the most awful things I’ve ever written and I still have them and they’re just bad. Let me find because they are in my google docs folder labeled “Dropped”. They are a lot longer but I eventually just stopped writing them because I just forgot about them or lost interest. There’s a lot more but here are two incomplete works.
She runs until she can’t take another step. Her breath is heavy and tears are streaming down her face, blurring her vision. The throbbing inside her head is pounding against her temple with her mind on the verge of breaking. Her father’s voice thunders inside of her head. His screaming, his sound, she wants it all to stop. She wants him to stop treating her the way that he does. His verbal abuse has gone on for too long and she is out of patience.
She doesn’t want to be hurt anymore. She doesn’t want to cry anymore. Sometimes she wishes that he would hit her, pull on her hair, slap her on the face, give her bruises on her arms or legs because then there will be proof that he isn’t the father that she needs. With words--the only evidence of pain is what she feels inside of her head.
She lies to herself saying that maybe all parents are like this. She tells herself that maybe it is just a phase and he will get better or maybe even treat her better with time. It is a lie that she repeats ever since she could remember. But the lies that she constantly reminds herself are losing their effect. The words no longer heal her broken heart.
Sweat drips down the side of her forehead. She wants to scream her lungs out from frustration, wishing someone out there will help her.
For someone who will save her.
While sitting upon a mahogany bench on her porch, she pulled out her 14 x 17 drawing pad and a small piece of vine charcoal. Since she was a young child, art has played an important role in her life. Both of her parents were dignified artists and it was only natural that their passion for the arts passed onto her. She loved to draw portraits for people around her neighborhood but other than commissioned works that she did, she particularly liked to draw a certain young man whom lived directly across the street from her home.
He was the strangest character that she had ever met. During November through February, he would stay at the house across the street. Every time he walked into that house, he had the darkest and gloomiest expression plastered onto his face. He always had the look of unhappiness as if he would rather be anywhere else but inside that house. She couldn’t understand why he would despise the residency. She knew the middle-aged couple that lived in that house and they were the most warmhearted, friendliest neighbors. They always complimented her on her artwork, gave her gifts during the holiday season and even on her birthday.
He was not always sad or angry. The day before the end of April, his facial cast would change dramatically. He would smile more often out of the blue. She was confused by his actions beyond words. She admitted that he was simply gorgeous and breathtaking when he was animated and even though he was beautiful when he was happy, she never drew him in that particular state. She felt like he was missing something when he smiled and that there was more to that smile than what was exposed to her. All of her drawings were of him during the wintertime where he stayed in that house across from her own.
5 // Character you were most surprised to end up writing
Surprisingly---Sehun because I figured my fandom girl days were over and I thought TOP was going to be my last bias. I try not to write a lot of fanfiction only because I know deep down what it really means when I start writing about an idol. It means I really like them and there’s no going back.
18 // Were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? What were they?
I don’t read a lot of fanfics because it’s hard for me to find an author with a writing tone I enjoy. Not that I’m saying a lot of fanfic writers are terrible---it’s just I like a really mature voice when it comes to fanfics. It’s probably because I’m old and I can’t empathize with certain themes that are common in fanfiction writing. For ones that I do keep up with @jaebesoindetoi @seleneauger are ones I follow religiously and always love. They have that prose which draws me in and has a really natural flow. They are both my inspiration because of their voice, their themes, and vocabulary. So for my writing, they are who I aspire to be and I want those themes to be seen when I write.
24 // Have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?
Architecture and construction (in which I know I have errors in my fic and I really need to go back and edit those bits). I know more of it now but I’m by no means an expert and I’m slightly embarrassed over certain parts but when I get the time to edit, it’ll sound a lot more professional hahaha
