Reading Crash and it’s filling my mind with endless possibilities on how to write eloquent, elevated smut. The way J.G. Ballard approaches sexuality through words is fascinating — like, we’ve got professor sex over here, a D1 pervert if you will. No but really, Crash is extremely well written, feels like I’m reading for an academic assignment. Here’s a great quote from Ballard’s first wreck:
“I was aware that the interlocked radiator grilles of our cars formed the model of an inescapable and perverse union between us. I stared at the contours of her thighs. Across them the grey blanket formed a graceful dune. Somewhere beneath this mound lay the treasure of her pubis. Its precise jut and rake, the untouched sexuality of this intelligent woman, presided over the tragic events of the evening.”
contents: Fluff, small angst, mentions of car accident, small mentions of cheating
You couldn’t quite place how you ended up in an abandoned warehouse looking over car crashes with a group of strangers. You didn’t even know if you were at the correct address, there was no sign, no flyer, just a plain door. Reluctantly you pushed open the door, walking into the dimly lit space. There stood a group of people, presumably car crash survivors, much like yourself. You hesitated before fully stepping inside, coming into view under the old warehouse lights, you only recognised one face, Vaughn. He was tall, almost imposing in his stature, the clothes he wore were dark and practical. He always held a certain exhaustion in his gaze, but it never showed past his eyes.
He had been in the hospital the day of your crash, coincidentally visiting another survivor in the hospital. He invited you out to one of his meetings as soon as you were out of the hospital.
“ Y/n it’s good to see you here. I have to admit I’m surprised to see you here. ”
You responded with a soft nod and smile.
“ I thought it would be good for me. ”
“ It will be the best thing you’ve ever experienced. ”
Vaughn guided you forth, his hand resting on the small of your back. He led you into the center of the group, leaving your eyes to wander the fellow attendees. There stood a tall dirty blonde man, he had a crisp tailored suit on with a blazer to match, he was James. Stood next to James was a slender blonde who carried a certain poise about her, his wife Catherine. Adjacent to the couple was a slim brunette with a short bob and bangs, her clothes were practical much like Vaughn’s, Doctor Helen Remington. Beside Helen was the final member, a messier version of the blonde seen before, Gabrielle. She had her hair styled in two messy braids, but more attention pulling was her leg braces.
“ This is our newest member, she’ll be joining us from now on, treat her well. ”
You greeted the group with a gentle smile and a small wave before sitting down.
Across the way, sitting three seats down was James. His eyes caught yours as soon as you entered the space. You were dressed modestly with a turtleneck sweater and ankle length skirt, leaving you to be hidden away from everyone.
He knew he should be paying attention to the presentation, but he couldn’t pull himself from you. There was something so alluring about you that he couldn’t quite place. In any other circumstance it would be wrong for a married man to have such a wandering eye, but in the group, all was accepted.
-
The meeting came to an end not too soon after the clock struck ten o’clock. You stood from your chair, gently pulling on your jacket before collecting your bag. You said goodbye to Vaughn before making your way to the door, but as you reached out for the handle another hand beat you to it.
James stood at your side, opening the door for you.
“ Allow me. ”
“ Oh thank you. ”
James let you walk out first before following after you.
“ How did you feel about your first time? I know it can be a bit much with everyone. ”
“ It was nice, I enjoyed it. ”
James smiled, responding with a small nod.
“ It’s late, let me walk you to your car. ”
“ Oh, I didn’t drive, I walked here. ”
“ Let me walk you home then. You shouldn’t be out alone so late. ”
You nodded leading the way to your apartment building. You made small conversation as you walked alongside James. The walk to your apartment wasn’t far, but still James insisted on making sure you got in okay.
You climbed the stairs to your apartment, walking to your door before unlocking it.
“ Do you want to come in for tea? ”
“ That sounds nice. ”
James followed you into your apartment, his eyes wandering the decor on your walls.
“ You can sit wherever you’d like. ”
Your voice carried out from the kitchen as you heated the kettle on the stove. James in the adjacent room sat down on your sofa.
Soon after he sat you came out, two cups of tea in hand. You placed one cup in front of him, and the other came to sit in your lap.
“ So, Vaughn mentioned your accident. ”
“ Oh.. ”
“ It’s nothing to be ashamed of, trust me. We all have experienced the same thing. ”
You gave a soft nod, your hands clasping onto your teacup.
James reached out a gentle hand, resting it on your knee. His thumb gently stroked your soft skin silently urging you to speak.
“ I don’t remember much of it, it all happened so quickly. I was pulling out into the intersection, and I guess the woman had just run the red light and slammed into me. They said she didn’t suffer anything major, just a few bruises. ”
“ ..And you? ”
“ I got burnt from the airbag, but I guess my car had flipped and they were forced to cut me out of the car. I don’t remember any of it. ”
“ Is that the reason you’re so covered? ”
You gave a small defeated nod, your eyes flickering down to your tea.
Gently James hand cupped your chin, racing your gaze to meet his.
“ I’m sure you’re beautiful. ”
“ I don’t feel it anymore. ”
James shook his head, setting aside his cup before standing. He held out a hand to you, his eyes looking down at your sad small figure on the sofa.
“ Come show me. ”
With hesitance you took his hand, leading him to your bedroom. Quietly James sat down on your bed, watching as you moved into your wardrobe. After a few moments you came out dressed in only a short silk nightgown.
James was awestruck, how could such a beautiful woman want to hide herself? Not only were your scars proof of your survival, but they were beautiful.
You had fresh burns across your chest and they climbed the length of your neck. On your legs and arms were deep cuts and bruises, presumably from the paramedics having to pull you from the wreckage.
“ You look extraordinary. ”
Slowly your eyes rose from the floor, meeting James’ gaze. You knew he saw something you couldn’t, he saw beauty behind the chaos.
James stood from your bed, walking over to you. His hands came to rest on your silk clad hips.
“ You look perfect like this. ”
“ You are a poor liar. ”
“ I would never lie about this. ”
Reluctantly a smile slipped across your lips. James hands lifted your jaw, making you meet his gaze.
“ I promise you are stunning. ”
“ Thank you. ”
“ Come to the next meeting, I promise it will do great things for you. ”
“ I’ll be there. ”
James responded with a nod, leaning down to press a kiss to your supple lips. He left you after he parted from your lips, leaving you standing alone in your bedroom with a warm feeling growing in your stomach.
