“ everything will be okay, i promise. but you need to talk to me.”
@ofjamesbcrnes
James had a way with coming to her when she needed him most. When her heart was sinking into a place that she didn’t recognize. She was mentally preparing herself for loss — but there was no way to truly prepare for that. Everyone else had been preparing for their futures, talking about marriage, and once again, Sharon felt like she had been hit in the chest. Unable (or maybe simply unwilling) to pretend that she could imagine a happy future.
There was no blame to put on anyone. Most of them had no idea what was going on through her head. Few people understood her. Even fewer could read her. But only one person really looked into her sudden silence. Much like the night that she broke down about Tony’s condition, Sharon was looking for a distraction. Tali was tucked into bed and Sharon was tempted to search the cupboards for something. James didn’t drink and Sharon had barely touched it since Tali had come into their lives. There was nothing. She knew it. They had moved into this place months ago and Sharon had never bothered to put more in the cart.
So, she was in the kitchen, warming up shitty nacho cheese with a bag of cheap tortilla chips in her hand, waiting impatiently as the microwave ticked down. She could hear him stepping into the room before he spoke, but she had planned on letting him pass her — maybe even planted a kiss on his cheek as he moved on. It would have been easier that way, to pretend. James was too much like her, unable to let things sit, especially when he knew that she was actively in pain.
(She was one push away from breaking down and James had almost managed to push her over the edge.)
“Tony asked me to join the Avengers,” she said as the timer finally went off. Her eyes never meeting his as she pulled out the dish, hissing quietly as she grabbed the plate. “It’s great for us right? Flexible hours, more time at home with you and Tali — it’s good. Everything is good.” She sucked on the burn on her finger, finally looking at him before shrugging. Everything in her heart was saying that nothing would be enough, that James had lasted this long with her being in and out constantly — but at any moment he could change his mind. At any moment Tony could die. At any moment, the world could be ripped out from under her. How could she plan anything for the future? How could someone like her make plans?