#james' posts

[evilteethgore]

I feel like photoshopping a propeller hat and a rainbow lollipop onto any picture of Alex Horne would look normal

[multiplesillylittleguys]

(Can't believe I have to add this, but exomemories exist. No, I have not physically been in ww2, obviously, but alters can have their own memories and triggers. I have not physically experienced war, and I hope I never have to. These memories are involuntary and if I could choose not to have them, I would.)

CPTSD.

I can cope usually but I heard a poem that makes me feel like I'm going insane. It's ringing in my head, getting louder and louder with each word. It reminds me of the war. It reminds me of HYDRA. I feel myself becoming less and less "me". I can feel myself slipping back to who I was then, feeling what I felt and it's terrifying.

-James.

(The poem is Boots by Rudyard Kipling. If you have any triggers related to war, avoid this. Please.)

My husband Dennis and I enlisted together, and the first time we got captured was also together. I got found by Steve, he wasn't found until over 80 years later. When I got captured again, a while after the first time, I finally saw him again. I wanted to tell him Steve was coming to get us. But he didn't recognize me because of what they did to him, and would soon do to me. And it hurt. It's not his fault, of course not. But having your boyfriend at the time not recognize you because HYDRA was frying his brain over and over again hurts.

Every time we as much as blinked in a way that made it look like we remembered something, anything, back in that damn chair. Sometimes I don't even feel like I knew what it was doing, I just knew that it hurt.

I tell him that it's not his fault. Logically, I know it's neither of our fault. But how do you believe that when you didn't even see your targets as human? Hell, I didn't even see myself as human. Because I wasn't. I was a machine, an asset, a tool.

Memories keep flashing through my mind. I'm afraid I'm turning back into what HYDRA made me. I don't want to hurt my husband.

[evilteethgore]

Pre-beard and glasses Greg Davies is a different person to post-beard and glasses Greg Davies and I can't be the only one to notice. Both Gregs are attractive but in very different ways

[evilteethgore]

Just wrote rpf for the first time and it is the most erotic and sexually charged scene I have ever written in my life. Rpf has magical powers that have awakened something in me I was unaware of. Thank you rpf xoxo

[evilteethgore]

Hey let's roleplay. I'll be a (male) stripper while you be a drunk James Wilson at a bachelor party in his own apartment

[evilteethgore]

Everytime I cook up some bullshit with whatever ingredients I can find in my kitchen, I feel like a Taskmaster contestant creating a mystery meal for Alex to consume and I am always surprised that the food actually tastes good, just like Alex

[evilteethgore]

Would it be a sane thing to do to become a comedian in hopes of being a contestant on Taskmaster in twenty years time

[evilteethgore]

Taskmaster AU rant ahead!! Really big rant!! Seriously big rant!! I can't stress enough!! [Spoiler Alert: I don't like Brett Blake]

I have this weird hatred for Brett Blake and I do not know why. Maybe it's because his humour isn't witty at all or maybe it's because he acts like every other Australian cockhead who went to my high school and made fun of me, but God he pisses me off. I know he kind of plays the average Australian in this series of Taskmaster for relatability but it's just so annoying how ignorant he chooses to be. That Roman numeral birthday task, as irritating as it may be, was in my opinion, not that hard??? They quite literally had a handbook to utilise.

Side note: I loved that they used romaine lettuce as an indicator for Roman numerals. That made me laugh a lot.

Back to it! I don't knowwww, I just think Brett isn't that funny. He just acts like the average conceited Australian who talks himself up, and thinks he's all that. Very infuriating to see other Australians praise him because he's just one of the blokes. Maybe I'm biased for my English ancestors, but I just can't find myself liking him.

I don't think I dislike him personally, rather people who happen to be like him. That is what specifically gets to me. It's that archetypal Aussie bogan who eats snags at the footy, has a bunch of mates who he gets pissed with on Friday nights and yells obscenities at passers-by when inebriated.

I honestly haven't seen any of his comedy shows or anything outside of Taskmaster, but I just have this feeling that it's not smart humour. His whole shtick on Taskmaster seems to be a break everything and leave sort of situation. Which yeah, Jason Mantzoukas had that approach but he is still incredibly witty and has the capacity to know when the right time to be modest is. Brett is just lazy.

He also enjoys just insulting Tom Cashman in an unfunny way. At least in the original Taskmaster, the contestants understand how to "insult" Alex in just the right way, if this makes sense? I don't know how to properly articulate what I mean by this but there are instances where Brett just continuously calls Tom Cashman a dork. Or just says the guy is dorky. And to me, that reads as not that funny. He's just an Aussie bloke TM making fun of the smaller guy.

I have more to say that I can't type out due to translation from my washing machine of a brain to paper, but take this. Yeah that's it from me. Maybe I will come back to this with new thoughts, changed or unchanged. Who knows? Not I.

If you read this far, just one thing: why?

Actually, I lied, two things.

Why? And thank you for spending time reading my pathetic little vent about a man who pisses me off more and more each episode.

And post!