#complex dissociative disorder

[foxboy-alone]

I made my therapist laugh today. he was talking about the fact that sometimes clients think acupressure is kinda spiritual bullshit but he thinks it can be helpful at a minimum as a way of grounding yourself. I said "I hear messages from the universe, I'm not concerned" and he found it funny

[foxboy-alone]

ok me and my therapist worked out a better way to approach trauma that is less head on so I'm actually going to try trauma work again. I've been avoiding it because I can't deal with focusing on my trauma head on. admittedly, we hadn't really started the other trauma work.... I just kept avoiding it because from the little sample it was miserable. today before I even said I didn't want to retry this trauma processing method (we keep planning it (on my terms) and I keep backing out) he said that it's clear something is getting in the way of me doing this and proposed using a more indirect approach.

he wants to focus on coping with small instances of trauma instead of tackling the big pieces. over time he hopes that we can build up to the bigger pieces and that the bigger pieces will also not feel as huge without those tiny components

he hasn't ever treated someone with dissociation as severe as mine so it's a learning process for both of us. I'm not willing to switch to a different therapist who might have better expertise because this therapist has earned my trust and that's hard for a therapist to do.

today we focused on processing some of what I've been processing on my own, some of my current struggles with my dad. he actually thought I was coming from a good place with the way I've been processing on my own lately- pacing around my apartment complex and thinking about trauma by imagining telling an anonymous stranger about it through the internet (which I also literally actually do here). it's not productive in the way I'm currently doing it because it turns into straight rumination and I leave feeling bad but he liked how indirect it was- I was giving myself space between my memories and me.

[dredgensam]

How do I convince my headmates to let me rename the system after congress -💙🫏

Not sure I can help you with that one

[dredgensam]

"Weirdest" introject GO!! -🪐🌷

Our mother

[dredgensam]

What would you say your headspace is like? We don't have a very detailed one, but some others have VERY detailed ones. /nf

I'm not sure we really have one. At most, it's probably just a featureless void

[dredgensam]

who are you throwing hands with -💙🫏

Usually either Jade or Maya. I think Maya makes us take care of ourselves when we're really tired, but is a little annoying about it and Jade just yells at people internally

[dredgensam]

Do you have an alter who's the "fan favorite" who people generally just like?

We have OSDD, so parts usually don't have such defined boundaries. The most people see of us is whoever we usually are at work and sometimes what I think might be Maya