Jamie Reagan’s Wedding Look:
An analysis
Thanks to Donnie Wahlberg’s Instagram post.
Folks, let’s just take a closer look here. I guess people are invested in this wedding, or something, and can’t wait to devour every snippet of wedding info we get between now and May Whatever. I, your faithful friend @cards-onthetable, am here to tag myself and then assist in your endeavors. From top to bottom, we see here:
Sunken, shadowy eyes. Is this the crappy lighting, or a sign of Will’s complete and total misery? We leave this for you to decide.
Pointy collar. I am informed by my google searching that it’s called a Wingtip Collar. An... intriguing choice.
Weird tie. I am finding few results with my google search of “old fashioned tie that looks like an infant’s bib” but maybe it’s considered a cravat? ANYWAY I have issues here. I looked forward to a formal bowtie situation as one small, tiny piece of sexiness in this miserable affair. And you know what? Even a normal long tie would be acceptable; in a well fitting suit we know Jamie pulls off that lawyer look quite well. BUT NOPE HERE’S WHAT WE GOT INSTEAD so that’s cool.
White jacket. Considering that in the full picture we can see Danny and Henry in dark suits, there is clearly a Style Choice to make the groom stand out. Cool, fine, okay. But... a.... white jacket? We couldn’t have just stuck with a different tie (like god, please) or maybe a vest? Nope, it’s a white jacket at an indoor formal church wedding. Alrighty then.
Note: possibly a white vest? But considering the lapel and his sleeves (see below) as well as the arm fabric disappearing behind Donnie Wahlberg’s head, I am concluding it’s a jacket.
Poorly fitting sleeves. We can see excess fabric above his wrists. This is hopefully from sitting down and/or the angle of the picture messing up the jacket. But geez, can we at least put the man in well fitting attire at his own wedding? I hope so. Maybe I’ll be proved wrong on this one. But I have CONCERNS until such time that I am.
THESE
PANTS
WHAT
IS HAPPENING?
These pants look like someone took a ribbed terry towel the approximate color of mud and sewed them into pants. Are those giant fat lines supposed to be pinstripes? Is Jamie getting married in an actual literal clown costume? I guess we’ll have to wait until May Whatever to find out. (Still too lazy to look up the date, I’d much rather google Bib Ties).
Socks: not visible in the Instagram picture. We can only assume that he’s wearing generic brand athletic crew socks pulled up to mid-calf. These socks definitely have a grey toe/heel and fit poorly.
Shoes: not visible in the Instagram picture. We can only assume that for sentimental and style reasons, he is sporting these Pumas, you know, the ones that are roughly the same shade as his passionate burning love for Eddie Janko.
So who else is ready for this awesome fun emotional meaningful and most of all stylish wedding?!?!
