Older Remus Lupin | Valentine one shot| Part 1 of two
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Summary: A few days before Valentine, someone begins to send Y/N letters and fancy flowers. She has no idea who's the sender of them. With Hermione and Ron's wedding on the way and other events, she doesn't know what to do. But... She's almost sure of one thing. Remus Lupin never likes the idea of writing letters.
𝐀𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐫
It was a pretty busy time in the history for you.
Months and months after a ruthless war, sad memories were fading into nothing, giving way to the cheerfulness of new events and ceremonies. Everything seemed to be back to normal.
Apparently.
You found yourself thinking of it as you sat next to the window, finally letting out a relieved breath while you silently glanced up at the night sky. The only sound that could possibly disturb the quietness of the room was either the muffled chattering of Hermione's parents that came from downstairs or the beating of your heart that was far from calm. The latter was stronger and more distressing. These past few days were incredibly exhausting for you. Constantly going from Weasley's house to Granger's for help and working at the Ministry at the same time had taken a toll on you.
And deep inside, you knew that having a stressful time wasn't the only reason for your impatience.
But you were good at hiding that particular reason.
At least that's what you thought.
You just took advantage of the quiet moment and used the chance to think about all the events that had happened through the past few months. Everything was processing in a fast pace and to be honest, you weren't ready yet.
Something was missing.
Someone was missing.
Everything around you looked perfect. Hermione and Ron were getting married in a few days and you were more than glad for them. Right from the start, they were made for each other. Fred and George, your bosom friends, had reopened their joke shop, once again taking over the whole Wizarding World with their astonishing products and pranks. You still remembered that dreadful day at Hogwarts when everyone thought that Freddie was gone. Hopefully, the gladsome tears of Mrs Weasley and the rest of you when you once again had the chance to see the twins causing mischief together was now the only memory to reminisce about.
Harry was still the talk of the town, every so often having an interview with a Wizarding magazine or being awarded countless medals of bravery because of what he did to Voldemort on the grounds of Hogwarts. He had finally pursued his favorite career at the Ministry of Magic, training to be an Auror along with Ron.
Bill and Fleur had a great life together, awaiting their first baby. Charlie was still working with dangerous dragons in Romania. Percy was back to live with his awesome family, making amends to them and admitting his mistakes. And lastly, Ginny (yes, the-boy-who-lived's love) had decided to become a professional Quidditch player for the Holyhead Harpies, winning matches one after the other. Molly and Arthur Weasley couldn't be more proud of their children.
And gratefully, you were there to witness all those wonderful moments. Was there something better than being welcome to a great family like Weasleys? They were all like a family to you.
On the other side of your life, you had another friend. A truly reckless one. Sirius. He was away and out of reach most of the time, freely venturing around the world and traveling with his flying motorbike to different places. Every once in a while he'd send you letters and excitedly talk about his great adventures across the oceans with dolphins or through some dark jungles while he was trying to tame a lion. His recklessness always amazed you.
"Come on Y/N- what's life without a little risk?" Was his reply whenever you asked him to be more careful.
Careful? It was unlike his character. Sirius was carefree. Maybe someday you needed to accept his offers and join him in one of these treacherous trips. He never failed to lift your mood with his witty remarks, sarcastic jokes or even useful opinions. Hopefully, he would soon visit The Burrow and stay for a couple of days.
Anyway... it all meant that... life had no choice but to be awesome for you.
Did you agree? No.
You were trying your hardest to be normal and saviour each and every moment, but something wasn't just right.
Someone was missing from your life and it was hard to bury that emptiness inside and keep a perfect composure around your friends. His absence was devastating.
The worst part was that you had no idea where he was.
You had a hundred letters, held in the darkness of a wooden shelf in your room at Grimmauld Place, all collecting dust and waiting for no one to read them. A hundred more of them were addressed to the burning fire in the nearest fireplaces around you. You never sent them to him.
Why? Oh, Remus never fancied the idea of writing any letters. He would never reply to you. Never.
These hopeless letters were meant to be addressed to you.
To you and only you.
To you, Remus John Lupin, love of my life.
To you who took my heart away with you the moment you left.
Or should I say... the moment I fought with you and pushed you miles away. Only because you were nearly killed in a terrible war by trying to save my life. I'd be damned and doomed if anything bad had happened to you.
That wasn't fair to you at any level. I always thought that you were too good to be mine. How could I let you sacrifice your life for me?
Worse than that, how could I let you go oh so easily?
I stood alone in the middle of nowhere for months, wandering around in hopes of being found someday, by you.
These letters are all addressed to you... who'll neither read nor answer any of them.
I'm sorry.
And I love you. More than I could ever tell you...
Your eyes welled up with tears. All this time you'd tried to put all your love for him aside and convince yourself that there was no point in talking with him ever again, because you, of all the people, knew that he wasn't the one to answer any letters.
And now, you were only a few days apart from meeting him at the wedding.
He surely would come, wouldn't he?
You didn't regret the day when you argued with him about why he'd tried save you from several Deatheaters by putting himself in danger. But you regretted the day you let him go out of your life.
Your life was saved, then lost.
You were afraid of his reaction.
He surely wouldn't want to talk with you, would he?
Hearing footsteps approaching the room, you quickly wiped your eyes and jumped from your seat, making your way to the nearest bed which Hermione had successfully conjured half an hour ago. She was an only child, so naturally there was always one bed in her room.
"I was checking the whole schedule with mum and dad again. They're just more anxious than I am." She said breathlessly, dropping on the bed next to you.
Fortunately, the lights were off and under the faint light of the moon, Hermione couldn't possibly notice your reddened eyes even if she tried.
You wrapped your arm around her comfortingly. "Oh it'll be fine, Hermy. You're the greatest daughter your parents could ever ask for, and now that you're all grown up and ready to be a lovely bride," You winked at her and she blushed "they're just both happy and worried at the same time."
"Yeah, yeah you're right. It's just slightly terrifying to leave the walls of this house. Things will be different, but I'll visit them as much as possible," She looked around at the bare walls, pausing when her eyes fell on the picture frames that held her childhood photos. She then turned to look at you. "anyway, Y/N, are you comfortable in here? My room isn't that good and big enough fo-"
"Don't be silly, Hermione. Everything is alright. Now you go and get some rest. There's a lot to do tomorrow." You quickly cut in, giving the girl a reassuring hug before ushering her towards her bed.
She nodded with a smile and climbed up her bed. Satisfied with yourself for handling the situation, you closed your eyes, only to snap them open when Hermione's words echoed in your ears.
"You were crying, right?"
Oh great.
"I- I'm just thrilled about my genius friend's wedding, that's all." You half lied, not wanting to bring up your own worries and affect her too.
That was all you could tell her.
Not all of the things you buried deep within the cracks of your heart.
You closed your eyes again, hoping that you'd be strong enough to make it to tomorrow and the upcoming days uneventfully.
***
February 11
The sound of birds chirping harmoniously and flapping their wings outside in the open air over the trees, indicated that morning had arrived sooner than what you imagined.
For a mere moment you went to sit bolt upright, assuming that it was another day to work at the Ministry of Magic and you were most certainly late, but then you remembered that you'd taken the Friday off to stick by Hermione and help out with the wedding preparations.
What a relief.
A sweet and rich scent wafted in the air and filled your lungs as you inhaled deeply and rolled over in your bed. The scent got stronger with each passing second, making you wonder where it came from.
"Hermione, you awake?" You asked drowsily, not bothering to open your eyes just yet.
"I'm wide awake. Come on Y/N, look around you. Isn't it breathtakingly beautiful?"
Curiosity got the better of you and you forced your eyes fully open, letting out a sudden gasp when you came to your senses and took in your surroundings. It was almost like entering a wonderland. All around the room and each of the walls were adorned with small and white flowers. Hermione was staring at the ceiling, smiling sheepishly. You looked up and your eyes widened in more surprise. Even the ceiling was covered with buds of Jasmine. Was this the same room you slept in last night?
"Oh my-"
"I know."
Your lips curled into a smile and you sat up to get a better view of the heavenly scene. If you were surprised seconds ago, now you didn't know what to say when more Jasmines began to bloom and fill the tiny gaps in the wall. Did they grow with someone's happiness? Apparently yes. It was insane how love could make someone do something as wonderful as this. But how? When? You made a mental note to ask Ron about it later.
"Beautiful is an understatement for this masterpiece. I wonder when Ron got the chance to come here and do all these stuff. It takes a while and of course magic and the love he has for you can make it easy to-"
"No, no honey. This is for you." She shook her head and chuckled amusedly, gesturing at somewhere on the floor.
"Wh- what do you mean it's for me?"
You confusedly tilted your head to the side and looked down at the floor, only to find a glass vase at the foot of your bed which was brimming with a bouquet of fresh Jasmines and some green foliage.
You raised a brow, wondering why there should be a vase full of those sweet-smelling flowers too while the whole room was full of them. Your first question was answered when you spotted your name on a small envelope that was attached to the vase. Now a letter too? It was really for you.
But why you? None of that made sense.
For a long moment, you debated picking and opening the letter. You looked at Hermione, silently asking for help. She gave you a reassuring nod, signaling that there was no need for you to be nervous about something as simple as that. You took a deep breath and seized the envelope, opening it. You took the note and read out the words to yourself.
~~~
Jasmines,
They are known to take the role of inspiring queens in the kingdom of flowers.
Jasmines, in the simplest form, mean inspiration.
I never was the best learner, but the days I spent with you, turned out to be the most beautiful and inspiriting days of my life. All the things you taught me about life and love, led my soul to try its best to make a new change. They helped me become who I always wanted to be. No more doubts, self consuming thoughts and well, insecurities.
And yet... the most important lesson I've learned in this lifetime is that, a life without you is never enough.
It's just equal to a life without love.
Y/N, It was all a secret for years, but now I want you to know that you've always inspired me like the stars do to a dreamer, and the moon does, to the sea. I'm that sea, eternally longing for your moonlight.
I'm that dreamer, constantly dreaming of you.
I hope that you dream of me too.
P.S. Keep the little petal with you.
~~~
You almost lost your breath and a faint blush crept up your cheeks as you read the heartfelt words on the small paper. It was admittedly beautiful, but still, none of it fell into place for you. You read the words over and over again, finding yourself more confused than before. The handwriting wasn't familiar and there was no name on the letter.
"That's impossible. I mean wh- who could've possibly sent this? It's almost impossible to put all these Jasmines on the wall without being heard or noticed."
"No idea." Hermione shrugged and scanned the letter, her mouth forming an o when she finished it.
She began to search through the envelope for something and seconds later, a pink velvet flower petal was placed in your hand. "Here's the petal your adorable admirer has mentioned."
Admirer?
She said with a playful wink and got up to her feet, making her way to the nearest wall in the room.
"The walls? You mean here?" She brushed her hand over the fresh flowers just as you gazed up. You nodded quickly, not noticing that the small Jasmines didn't even move under her touch. "Oh please. There's nothing on the walls."
The girl left and closed the door behind her, not giving you a chance to react.
Couldn't she literally see any of them?
That was impossible.
For the next few hours your head was spinning with new questions and different answers.
"A life without you is never enough."
"I'm that dreamer, constantly dreaming of you."
Who could literally be the one to write all those sweet words and take your breath away without leaving a trace behind? You thought of your school friends and Ministry colleagues, but from what you remembered, no one ever had that handwriting and way of surprising you both together. You were sure of it. Your memory wasn't playing tricks on you.
Even if someone had magically done those works with flowers, there was a low chance that they would know the address Hermion's house.
Unfortunately, even Hermione's parents had no clue who was the sender of the flowers.
So, it meant that you needed to focus on your closer friends. For obvious reasons, Harry, Ginny and Ron were quickly crossed out of your list. Maybe it was Fred, George or even Charlie. Maybe it was Sirius.
You had no idea.
The rest of the day was spent mostly in Diagon Alley with Hermione trying on her wedding dress countless times and raving at the shopkeeper about why the bridesmaid dresses weren't ready just yet.
Then, you wandered around the alley a bit more and visited a few more shops before making your way to Fred and George's joke shop, Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Mrs Weasley had asked you the other day to drag the twins to The Burrow, saying that they were always occupied with work until the last minute. Now you saw why. The shop was extremely crowded and you had to practically squeeze between the people to successfully make your way inside.
You stood in a corner and watched around the place until your gaze fell on a spot that was apparently more appealing to the visitors.
The love potion section.
It was no wonder, considering the fact that Valentine's day was only three days away from you. The exact reason why the wedding ceremony was on that day too. Even the shop was decorated with red ornaments and balloons.
You sighed and looked away, not wanting to reminisce your old Valentine memories.
Then suddenly an idea popped in your head. You considered it for a few seconds and slowly made your way to the table at the front of the shop. There were several parchments and signed lists on it and all belonged to the twin boys.
You quickly picked a few of them and squinted your eyes to carefully check the handwritings.
"Need anything, wonderful girl?"
"Oh- no, nothing." You hurriedly dropped the papers and stepped aside right when you heard Fred's voice from behind you.
Their handwriting wasn't anything like the letter you'd received either. You decided to ask him instead.
"Wait, I was just, um, wondering if you or George have sent someone any letters this morning?"
"This morning?" He raised a brow questioningly, looking over his shoulder at his brother. "No, I don't think so, and I'm pretty sure George has the same idea. What's the matter, sweetie?"
Sweetie? And those sweet-smelling flowers? It was him, right?
"It's nothing important. Um, what about flowers?"
He shook his head again and you sighed defeatedly, knowing that Fred was not the one to ever lie to you.
You just hoped that this wasn't one of those pranks of them.
Hours later, the four of you arrived at The Burrow to spend the remaining nights there. You decided to push the thoughts away and enjoy the night with the sight of Hermione and Ron stealing glances at each other and blushing fiercely each time their eyes locked.
When midnight approached and you had some alone time for yourself, you read over the letter one more time and pressed it into your chest. The idea of having someone out there who thought of you this way brought a grateful smile to your face. When your eyes slowly fell shut and sleep consumed you, there was only one lingering thought in your head.
You would eventually find out about this mysterious person.
***
February 12
"Y/N, Sirius is here. Mum wanted me to tell yo- oh wow!"
Someone burst in the room and exclaimed rather loudly, once again indicating that it was morning. You stifled a yawn before forcing your eyes open, only to be met by George's shocked expression as he stood at the doorframe.
What was the matter with him?
His news went unnoticed and unheard by you as you came to your senses and looked around the room, eyes widening in surprise. It was unbelievable. Now this room (which used to be Fred and George's before) had turned into another wonderland too.
"No way!"
Each of the walls and even the ceiling were decorated with large yellow flowers.
Sunflowers.
You rubbed your eyes and carefully peered around again, not believing what you were seeing. But the moment you smiled and watched how more buds of sunflower bloomed and filled the tiny gaps of the wall, you realized that your eyes weren't deceiving you.
"Yes way. So these are the flowers Fred told me about, hmm?" George came and sat next to you.
"Ye- yeah. All these flowers." You nodded absent-mindedly, taking in the beauty of the whole scene in front of you. The faint sunlight that was passing through the curtains, dappled the yellowish petals and doubled the shiny enchantment of them.
George waved his hand over your face, waking you from your mesmerized trance.
"Why are you staring at those Quidditch posters on the wall like some crackpot? I know that we're handsome, but there's a letter over there waiting for you."
Posters on the wall? Your brows furrowed. There were no posters on the wall. To be exact, they were probably buried beneath all the flowers.
Oh... he couldn't see them too?
You shrugged and glanced down at the floor in search of the letter, once again finding a new crystal vase which was brimming with sunflowers and some dark green foliage. Another envelope was placed next to it. You bent down and seized it, your heart beating fast in your chest.
But for a moment you doubted opening it. How could this person know of your whereabouts and carry the flowers to wherever you went? What if it was just a prank? What if there was still no name on the letter?
Oh, what if it was from... No, he never wrote any letters. That was impossible, you reminded yourself.
Midway between the rush of questions, George said something about going to get Fred, so he could also see the flowers, and left the room.
You took a deep breath to calm yourself and made sure to take one more too. Then you ripped the envelope open and read through the words.
~~~
Sunflowers,
They're a perfect symbol for warmth and healing.
I'm sure you can figure out how much this means to me, to us. But I can't help telling you that your presence healed me so perfectly when I felt down.
You healed the wounds of my soul when I was at the loneliest levels of my life. You gave me an undying amount of strength when I was getting low. You mean so much to me... more than I could ever tell you.
I tried to ignore the signs for so long, but the fact that it was always you never faded out from my thoughts.
You know... with the right person, even breathing feels like healing and even the coldest days of winter feel the warmest. Only with the right person... and to me, it's you.
Y/N, I've had the sunniest summer days in frozen winters of life with you.
I hope that my presence in your life made you feel warm and healed too. I... hope.
P.S. Please take care of the little petal. Soon you'll find what's the reason.
~~~
Sunniest summer days in frozen winters? You were practically speechless. Every single one of those words had the ability to melt your heart right on the spot.
You read the note over and over again. Just as you thought, there was no name tagged onto it. It was only addressed to you.
Sighing defeatedly, you took the second pink petal and placed it in a small jar next to the other one.
"Soon you'll find what's the reason."
You were going to see this person soon, right? The thought warmed your heart as you went downstairs, only now belatedly remembering George's news when you heard a familiar laugh coming from the kitchen.
"Sirius!"
You exclaimed with happiness, jumping into his arms. He chuckled heartily, hugging you tightly.
"Hey little sunshine, long time no see."
Sunshine? Sunflowers? Of course he did it. He always had a habit of sending you countless letters. Maybe he'd only changed his handwriting to mess with you.
If he wasn't going to mention anything about it throughout the day, you had to ask him yourself.
Later in the evening, when Harry finally finished his long chat with his godfather and Ginny dragged him outside to help with the decorations, you got a chance to have some alone time with Sirius.
"You sent the flowers, didn't you? Oh- how could I not know that." You said, sitting on a chair next to him.
He wore a confused expression just like how Fred had reacted.
"Flowers? What are you talking about, Y/N? I may or may not have brought some souvenirs, but as long as I know, there's no flower in them."
Why was everyone in denial now?
"Wait..." You paused for a moment, considering the idea that he probably needed to check the stuff you'd received. Maybe he would know anything about the sender. "Come with me."
"If you insist on that one, I'll do more."
On a normal situation, you would laught at his quirky remark, but now you only rolled your eyes and took his hand in yours, dragging him upstairs.
"Here, look. These Sunflowers are all over the wall and that vase's next to my bed. There was a letter attached to it too. Yesterday I received the first one. We were in Granger's house and when I woke up the room was full of Jasmines." You explained in hushed voice.
"I know that you've missed me so much and it's maddening, but... flowers on the wall? There's nothing in here to see, honey." He chuckled, brushing his palm against the nearest wall.
The yellow flowers didn't move under his touch either.
"I'm not mad, Sirius! Plus... you're the only one who writes me letters," You huffed and went to snatch the letters, feeling yourself getting frustrated. "Look at it. I was thinking that maybe you've changed your handwriting or something."
"Well, maybe it's from- oh no. I have no idea," He quickly shook his head, handing the papers back to you. "But apparently this secret admirer of yours knows what it means to take some risk in life. Remember when I told you that? What's life without a little risk?"
Your expression fell. Sirius was crossed out of your list too.
"Honestly sweetheart, even though I admit that you've always been there for me and helped me to heal and get better when I was in hiding, I wasn't the one who sent the flowers nor the letters to you. As it's written there, you'll figure it out soon." He said reassuringly, giving your hand a squeeze.
The rest of the day was spent with him and he took you out for a ride on his motorbike, flying above the clouds and talking about everything and nothing. At dinner he took everyone's attention by one of those adventures of his. Half of it was made up, of course, but everyone enjoyed it and reveled in his funny jokes.
After dinner, Fred and George along with other boys, took Ron outside to play a game called Bachelor Quidditch, saying that it was necessary before he got married and eventually thrown out of all their games.
Except the fact that today it wasn't only Hermione and Ron who had blushed cheeks and Harry and Ginny who constantly stole glances at each other were added to them too, everything was pretty uneventful.
Late in the night when everyone went back to their rooms, it was only you, Sirius and Mr Weasley left at the kitchen. You'd insisted to help her out with cleaning the dishes.
"Molly, do you have any idea where Remus is? I haven't seen him in a while." Sirius suddenly asked, catching the attention of both you and the plump witch.
She sighed wearily and dropped to the nearest chair.
"Don't get me started on him, Sirius. That man never tells us what he's doing. He always makes a weird excuse to get out of all the invitations. I haven't known much about him since the end of the war either."
"When will he arrive in here, then? I want to make sure he pays for all his strange absence and creepy manners." He raised a fist, shaking his head in disapproval.
As if he was ready to punch Remus on the face with that fist.
Of course Remus was invincible.
What did Sirius really think?
Everyone's actions sounded slightly out of place. It almost felt like they were just acting, but you shrugged off the idea soon, thinking that it was all your imagination. You didn't need to be suspicious about everything.
The exchange of looks between the two of them went unnoticed by you.
"He just said that he'd be here soon. That's all I know... Sirius, for goodness sake, don't go berserk on him when he arrives. It's my little boy's wed-"
"Did Rem- uh, did he send a letter?" You interrupted her, quickly regretting your words.
The witch hesitated for a moment.
"I'm afraid no, dear. I just received a patronus from him this morning. You know how those messages work- I only heard his message, and then it just disappeared afterwards."
You nodded absent-mindedly, continuing to dry up the rest of the dishes.
Late in the night, there was a knock on the door, signaling the arrival of Bill and Fleur.
And this meant that you needed to change rooms.
And changing rooms meant there were new walls...
Now you had two letters, two vases, two petals and no answer for your questions. You wondered what was waiting for you on the upcoming days.
𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐩𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐰𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬
This wasn't over just yet. Something was awaiting you tomorrow...
Part 2
