Name: Jasper Lewis
Age: Nineteen
Class Year: Sophomore
Position: Goalkeeper, #7
Hometown: Wheeling, West Virginia
This character must be played as a trans man.
They called him a miracle baby: found nameless and alone on a stained mattress during a police raid of a known drug den. There was no telling how long he had been there and, when they first brought him to the hospital, no telling whether or not he would survive: born premature, weakened by exposure, suffering from prenatal exposure to opiates. This kid’s a fighter, they said when, against the odds, he pulled through—and then he had to keep being one, because his inauspicious start in life had left him with health problems that would follow him for the rest of his life.
But that seemed to have very little bearing on Jasper as he grew up. All he knew was that he had loving parents, who had adopted him almost as soon as he was released from the hospital as a baby; and an adopted brother; Derek, who took his responsibilities as an older brother seriously, and who Jasper rewarded with undying devotion. Everything else—the asthma, his difficulties with motor coordination—seemed secondary to that. If he felt out-of-step with his peers, always just a little bit behind, it didn’t seem to matter when he had Derek, who was always ready to leap to his defense, face down anyone who might dare to bully him.
He grew up in Ravens country. His brother was a rabid fan of the current team, but an even bigger fan of the way the team used to be: the undisputed kings of Exy, nothing less than perfectly-coordinated perfection on the court. What went on in the bowels of that jet-black stadium was shrouded in rumor, but Derek knew every whisper. He hoarded them greedily, full of dreams of one day putting on the black-and-crimson jersey himself, and he was convinced that the secrets of the original Ravens were what would make him great. And while Jasper didn’t quite share that same fascination, he found himself swept up in it all the same. All his life, people had told him that there were things he couldn’t do. When Derek had started playing Exy, they told him that he never could. They told him he could never be fast enough, hit hard enough, never be able to keep up. They thought they were being kind, and Jasper had believed them—until Derek told him they were wrong.
There was an abandoned barn just a couple miles away from their house, and Jasper and Derek would be there every day until after sunset with their racquets. The philosophy that Derek used was simple: only perfection was acceptable; every mistake that Jasper made was to be punished, and then never repeated again. Every shot he failed to block meant a hit from his brother’s racquet; on the weekends, he had to block one hundred shots in a row before Derek would let them go back home—when he missed one, they just started all over again. Learn through pain was their mantra, and there was a part of Jasper that liked it, that believed Derek when he told him that he was teaching him to be better, teaching him to be strong, teaching him to be a Raven.
He’d never thought that Derek was hurting him. And no one ever seemed all that concerned: his entire life he’d been called clumsy, and he supposed he was, and it meant that no one ever looked twice at any bruise or scrape, and so he’d gone on playing Derek’s games, thinking that it was normal. His parents even encouraged it: they liked to see Jasper seeming so fearless, playing Exy, doing things that doctors and teachers and coaches had said he couldn’t do. They even felt guilty, like they’d been just another person doubting him, holding him back. And, even more, they were proud of Derek for being so supportive and encouraging, for never thinking he was too cool to spend time with his younger brother.
They played on the same team in high school, and during Jasper’s sophomore year they made a run for the state title—and Derek, then a senior, was adamant that they needed to win, that a victory would be his ticket onto the Ravens. By the time the championship game came around, Jasper was hiding two broken fingers under his gloves and a near-crippling fear of failure in his chest: Derek had always been intense, but it wasn’t until then that Jasper felt truly afraid of what Derek might to do him if they lost. And, as though his fear had become a prophecy, he was on the court with the game-winning goal was scored.
I’m sorry could never be enough. And though he’d faced down every so-called practice session and punishment, convincing himself that Derek was pushing him, was helping him, that time felt like he was walking to the gallows—and he knew he couldn’t do it. Please, he’d begged his parents, so different from his usual soft-spoken self, don’t let me be alone with him. And, like those words were a key, it all came out; like, said out loud, he could see things clearly for the first time. His parents were shocked, and sick with guilt at their complicity, the free rein and unwitting encouragement they’d given to their eldest son. To Derek, it was a betrayal, and one that he wouldn’t forgive.
SEIZE IT WITH EVERYTHING YOU’VE GOT
They didn’t talk about it. With their season over, Exy-talk was banned at the dinner table, their racquets put in closets out of sight. Their parents seemed to hold their breath, just counting down they days until Derek went to college, trying to keep him and Jasper apart until then. And Jasper would never know if it was his fault for losing the game, if Edgar Allan had ever even considered Derek, but he didn’t become a Raven. Instead, he accepted an offer from the Ohio State Buckeyes, where other Big Three rejects went to nurture the chips on their shoulders.
Jasper thought that he’d quit Exy after that. He’d lost Derek—even if that was a good thing, he sometimes still hadn’t felt sure—he’d lost them their most important game, there didn’t seem to be a point. But his coach encouraged him to stick with it, and he found that out from underneath his brother’s shadow and his brother’s training methods, he thrived more on the court and felt more at home among his teammates than he ever had before. Still, he never expected much, and certainly didn’t expect to be scouted by Coach David Wymack at his high school coach’s recommendation, offered a spot on the Foxes. His brother, once his biggest cheerleader, only sneered when he heard: a team full of losers and charity cases, looks like you’ll fit right in. But with a new team behind him, Jasper found it was easier than he could have imagined to not care what Derek thought. He’s overcome so many obstacles: overcome doubt, overcome Derek, overcome himself—and now he’s determined to prove that the Foxes can overcome, too, and show everyone what a team of charity cases and misfits can do.
JASPER LEWIS is portrayed by KEIYNAN LONSDALE and is OPEN
