#jatpx5sos

[rizbert]

Everything I Didn’t Say (Part One)

synopsis: You knew Sunset Curve would make it big. What you didn’t expect, though, was losing the people that mattered most to you. Now you’re left to navigate all the regrets you were left with. Turns out you’re not the only one with regrets though.

word count: 4.8k

pairing: Luke Patterson x reader

warnings: mentions of the guys dying, mentions of grief, there’s also a bit where reader goes to therapy if that counts as a warning

a/n: For @jatpx5sos​ Week Day Two: Parallels! The parallel I used is Everything I Didn’t Say and Unsaid Emily. This is also part one of about nine of the Everything I Didn’t Say series which I’m so freakin excited about not gonna lie. The second part will be up in a couple days! 

Also real quick, the bold italics are the lyrics just as a note.

“You can’t be sneaking in here, you know.”

“I know. But I wanted to see you.”

Luke smiled as he slid into the seat beside you, not hesitating at all to take your hand, press his lips to the back of it, then lean his head on your shoulder. Each action a silent acknowledgment that he really had missed you quite a bit in the last few hours since you’d seen him.

The moment was broken up quickly by Bobby taking a seat right on the opposite side of Luke. He set his head on the palm of his hand and looked up with wide eyes and a smirk. “What about me? Did you want to see me too?”

“Oh always.” Luke answered just as easily with his own smirk, shooting a wink in his direction. Your laugh and Reggie’s mingled together as he and Alex approached the table just in time to hear the last of their quips. Meanwhile Alex only smiled in amusement while he dug out the item he was looking for from his backpack.

You took the notebook back from him and he took his usual seat across from you. As you waited for his feedback you noticed Luke’s attention narrow at the item and you wordlessly handed it over to him. Almost immediately he sat up to eagerly search for the page that held the newest song you were working on.

Your attention remained focused on Alex. “What do you think, will it work?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Alex nodded, glancing at where Luke was now looking through the most recent lyrics you had added, he and Bobby quickly jumping into a conversation about possible rhythms and melodies.

“Well I know so,” Reggie nudged his shoulder and grinned as he turned to face you. “The song screams drum heavy and if anyone can do it it’s our Alex. We were gonna stop by the music rooms during free period to work some stuff out. You should come with!”

Just as you were about to argue that you couldn’t Luke looked away from the notebook, his pencil leaving a half finished word behind. “Forget that, let’s just head back to Bobby’s. We’ll work on it and have the chorus nailed by the end of the day.”

It took very little convincing for the three boys to agree to Luke’s proposition, each of them stuffing what was left of their lunches in their bags. You, on the other hand, stayed silent. A fact which they noted.

It was a place you had found yourself in dozens of times before. Reggie, Alex, and Bobby said their goodbyes to you and moved just far away enough to pretend they couldn’t hear you and Luke talking.

This time was different though. It wasn’t just another harmless practice session to mess around in. In exactly four days time Sunset Curve would be playing The Orpheum. This was one of their last practices before then and they were determined to get everything as close to perfect as they could. Including the most recent song they wanted to debut just for the occasion.

“I -” You wanted to join them more than anything. But the argument you’d had with your parents just that morning rang loud in your head. It’d been prompted by a failed test, a less than ideal summer school progress report, and another full song book they’d found. “I can’t.”

“We need you,” Luke turned in his seat to face you and reached forward, interlocking your hands together once more. “We’re almost there, just a few more days until the show and then we’re solid. Then I promise you can focus on these fancy prep classes, I’ll even help you.”

It was tempting, you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t. Writing those songs beside Luke was quite possibly the best thing you had. It couldn’t be the only thing anymore though and that was a fact you hated admitting to yourself.

“I can’t,” You gave a sigh and tapped the cover of the notebook quickly. “I’ll work on the song a bit in my free time and meet you there later alright?”

As much as Luke wanted to argue, he didn’t. Not at the time being. He could understand well enough the pressure you were under. So he only nodded, gave you a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and squeezed your hands once before standing. “Yeah. Later.”

“So what do you think?” Luke asked excitedly as the notes they’d been playing faded away softly. All of them were looking at you eagerly and you tried your best to match their excitement. And you really did love what they’d done with the song. It was just hard to be as enthusiastic when the rest of your afternoon had been less than ideal.

You finally answered him, trying to push your other worries and the pile of work you knew you had waiting for you to the back of your mind. “It’s amazing.”

“I’m glad you think so cause we have news,” Luke stepped forward after cheering at your approval along with the others. “We wanna make it our closer for Saturday.”

You didn’t try to hide your disbelief that time, though you did wonder for a second if you’d heard him right. “It’s not gonna be ready on time.”

“So we’ll put extra work into it,” Luke frowned a bit but stepped towards you anyway. “I’ve already got ideas for the verses, just tell me when and we’ll work on it.”

“I can’t.” You repeated the words as you tried to push away the echoes of an argument you knew you couldn’t ignore anymore.

“You can’t?” The rest of the room had grown quiet and tense but Luke kept going. “Y/N this is huge for all of us, you included.”

“And I get that, I do,” You finally looked away from the words in the songbook and up at him. “But as much as you want me to, I can’t put all my focus on this. Not right now.”

“Why not?”

And there it was.

There were so many ways in which you and Luke were the same. The two of you could spend hours side by side doing what you both loved. Writing and creating music together in a way that was special. In a way that you didn’t have with anyone else.

This was where you were different though. Luke was braver than you were, you could admit that much. He was ready to drop everything to pursue a future in music with the band and he had. You couldn’t do that though, not with parents who had never wanted you to start this journey in the first place.

And though you had expected it you still didn’t believe it. You were very aware of Bobby, Alex, and Reggie avoiding all eye contact with either of you. Sure conversations similar to this one had happened before but never had you looked as angry as you did now.

Without another word you stood, shoving the songbook in your bag along with the text books that had sat unused. It was better to get out of there. You didn’t want to but you had to.

“Y/N -”

“I have more going on then you care to know, alright?” It was all you said before storming out of the garage.

Luke followed you, though, determined to figure out whatever was happening. He needed you and that was a fact he wasn’t afraid to admit. “Tell me.”

“What?”

“Tell me what’s going on.”

For a second you weren’t too sure what to think. The rational part of your brain knew he did care. Of course he did, he’d helped you as many times as you’d helped him. But you weren’t listening to that part. It was easier to listen to the part of you that didn’t require too much thought when your mind was already a storm of second guesses.

“Why? You only want to know so we can finish this song.”

Luke tried reaching for you like he always did but stopped when you took a step back. “That’s not the only reason.”

“So it is part of the reason.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean then?” You didn’t mean for the words to start coming out. There wasn’t a single filter in place at the moment and every thought, no matter how little you meant them, came out. “That what I have going on isn’t as important? I can’t afford to put all my energy into this, Luke. I’ve told you before and you always say you understand but I don’t think you really do.”

“I do understand.”

“Do you?” With a sigh you took the songbook out of your bag, one with both your names scribbled on the front cover in his handwriting, and shoved it into his hands. “Do whatever you want with them, they’re all yours now.”

You were positive the clock on your wall was mocking you. The ticking seemed louder than ever, as if it knew all you wanted to do was ignore it.

You hadn’t talked to Luke at all in the last four days. Both Reggie and Bobby had stopped by a couple times and Alex, who lived right next door, checked in with you every morning and every night. You were sure he was put up to it, despite telling you otherwise.

With an annoyed groan you backed your chair away from the desk and started spinning in slow circles. Their soundcheck would be starting soon and you were trying to push the thought out of your head and focus on the homework you were supposed to be working on.

Then the wheels of the chair slipped back in the middle of a spin and the textbook on your desk toppled to the floor. A single sheet of notebook paper was left on the floor after you picked it up. When you reached for the paper you were met with the sight of a dozen creases and a mix of different handwriting.

The memory connected to it was as vivid as ever. It was one of the first songs you’d written with Luke forever ago. It had gotten confiscated from the two of you after you’d been caught passing it back and forth during class. Then you’d both been given detention after a little too much begging to have it back.

Without another thought you stood and reached for the badge with the Orpheum logo and the letters ‘VIP’ printed underneath it. Luke had given it to you proudly weeks ago while declaring ‘You really don’t think we’d do this without you, right?’

You practically sprinted out of the house, ignoring the calls of your mom asking what you were doing, and left. You were certain now that there was only one place you had to be.

It took two buses and sprinting as fast as you could a few blocks before you finally reached the building, frantically showing the person at the door your badge. The looks you received from various employees did nothing to stop you from running through the halls until you reached the stage area.

Almost immediately you zeroed in on the sound of a familiar voice and called his name. You watched as Bobby looked around for a few seconds before finding the place where you stood. His grin matched your own and he met you halfway, excusing himself from the girl he’d been talking to.

“I knew you’d make it,” He nodded towards the badge and laughed a bit. “You’re too stubborn not to.”

“Very funny.” You rolled your eyes at him before smiling at the girl who had joined the two of you. She held a Sunset Curve shirt in her hands along with a demo and you knew without having to ask what had happened there.

“Rose, this is Y/N,” Bobby’s smile turned more genuine and less teasing. “The brain behind about half our songs.”

“Half is too generous.”

“And you’re too modest.”

“You’re a songwriter?” Rose practically beamed and you couldn’t help but take after her as you nodded. “Remind me to get some input from you on a few things I’m working on.”

“I’m happy to help,” You told her and waited as she scribbled down her number on a napkin. You thought your glance around the room had been subtle but Bobby had noticed almost right away.

“Luke’s not here,” Of course he knew what you were thinking and who you were looking for. “He went to get some food with Reg and Alex.”

“Did they say where they were going?”

“Not really. Said they were getting hot dogs and you know how they are with street food.” He noticed the way your shoulders sank and you started twisting the lanyard of the badge around your hands and reached forward to stop you. “Hey, they’ll be back soon. You can talk to Luke then alright?”

You tried to nod but all you could think of was the argument. It was days later and you’d thought much too long about it. “Is he mad at me?”

“Are you kidding? He could never be.” Bobby gave you the most reassuring smile he could and to his relief it worked a little.

“Hey, why don’t you tell me about one of your songs,” Rose caught on easily to how anxious you were getting and started pulling you towards one of the tables after shouting behind her shoulder that she was taking her break. “Then I’ll tell you about one of mine. Deal?”

“Yeah,” You nodded as the three of you sat down. “Yeah, alright.”

Rose’s distraction worked. You lost track of time and very quickly grew invested in the conversation. So much so that you didn’t really notice what was going on around you.

You didn’t notice the sound of sirens passing by the building. You didn’t notice the way the chatter outside became louder as a crowd grew. You didn’t notice the sudden silence of the room as a single police officer stepped in, speaking briefly to the manager before walking towards the table.

“Are you -” The officer paused for a second, glancing around at the three of you before giving a soft sigh and focusing on the person he was looking for. “Are you Bobby?”

“Yeah.” The easy going smile Bobby had been wearing faded quickly. You knew yours did too. “I am. Why?”

Then this overwhelming, sinking feeling filled every part of your body. Something was wrong. You knew just by the look on the officer's face. The words he spoke next only confirmed it. Reggie. Alex. Luke. Accident. Tragic. Gone. I’m sorry.

Everything around you went blurry, all the sounds muffled as those words echoed through your head until they finally sunk in. You weren’t too sure when it was that the tears started streaming down your face or when the officer left.

Eventually though, you looked up to find Bobby in the same state you were sure you were in. You didn’t really process your movements either as the two of you moved closer together. What came next was the shocking realization that you were all each other had left. That was it. Alex and Reggie and Luke, your boys, were gone. And there was no changing that.

“I feel like I’ve been wearing this for years now.” Bobby muttered as he picked at the black fabric of his suit. It was the third time now that the two of you found yourselves in this position. Sitting on the floor outside the garage, the door shut tight, in black clothes.

The instruments inside sat untouched now. The space that had been filled with music and laughter and unbelievable amounts of joy just a short while back was silent now, something that at one point you didn’t think was possible.

“I hate it.”  

It wasn’t clear whether you meant the black clothes or how things had turned out or just the feeling of something missing that seemed like it would never go away. Maybe it was a terrible concoction of all of three.

“Yeah,” Bobby nodded and let his head fall back against the garage door, trying his hardest to stop silently crying for what felt like the thousandth time that day. “Me too.”

*

Two months later you sat with Bobby at a café that had opened not too long ago. The songbook you and Luke had once shared sat unopened in front of you. It was the first time you’d actually accepted it from him.

He had found it with Luke’s things after finally working up the courage to go back into the garage two weeks after he started seeing his therapist. The last time he tried giving it to you you’d given it back with tears and shaking hands insisting you couldn’t take it. You’d made progress though, no matter how small, and that was a huge thing.

“You should come with me next week.” Bobby finally broke the silence, looking up from where he’d been staring at the table but still tapping his feet on the floor.

“To see your therapist?” You were grateful for the interruption, thoughts already running rampant in your head at the sight of the songbook.

“Yeah. I told her about you, how we were -” He paused then as the memory flashed in his head for a second. He breathed in deeply then exhaled slowly as he reached for his cup of tea. “How we found out about Reggie, Luke, and Alex together. How close we all were, how the two of us still are. She said you were free to join for a session if you wanted.”

“I’ll think about it.” You told him honestly as you nodded, folding your arms in front of you so the songbook was out of sight.

“Good.” Bobby leaned forward then, turning his gaze back to the top of the table once more as he debated whether or not to say anything. Ultimately he did. “Thanks.”

You looked at him then, head tipping to the side as you studied him for a moment. “For what?”

“For being here. Through everything.”

You were positive then that no matter what happened from that moment on Bobby was always going to be someone who you knew would be there for you, just as you were always going to be there for him.

The smile you gave him was gentle, reassuring in a way you knew he needed at the moment. “Of course.”

“You bring that with you every time you come see me.”

“I take it with me everywhere, honestly,” You admitted, noticing the way Dr. Crystal nodded a bit before leaning forward.

“Can I?” She asked as she motioned towards the songbook just barely peeking out of your bag. You nodded and handed it to her, watching closely as she flipped through it carefully. She noticed. “Why do you think you carry it with you?”

“I think -” You gave a sigh as you started fiddling with the hem of your shirt. There was no doubt that she already knew the answer, and she knew that you probably did too. The couple of sessions you had attended with Bobby helped a lot and you’d been seeing her on your own for almost three months now. “Cause it was Luke’s. It was ours and -”

When you didn’t continue she shut the songbook and set it on the table between the two of you, gently sliding it in your direction once more. “It’s what still connects you to him.”

“It’s just - If I open it and - and look at everything in there it just reminds me that that’s all I have left of him and Alex and Reggie. If I open it and read those songs it feels like when I close it they’ll be gone.” You surprised yourself with your own words. One of the things you had yet to decipher in the last couple of months was if Dr. Crystal’s silence was a good thing or not.

“That’s not true, though. You have your memories of them. They’re still there in you and in Bobby. You may have lost Luke and Reggie and Alex but you still have him and Rose.” She spoke honestly as she glanced at her watch. You knew what that meant and so you reached for the book and returned it to its usual place in your bag. “I think it's a good idea to try and look through the songbook, Y/N. It might make it easier if you had someone there with you.”

“I’ll -” You sighed as you stood from your seat and then finally nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

*

Three days later you once again sat with Bobby, this time in the living room of your otherwise silent and empty house. It was usually that way now. Your parents still walked on eggshells around you, not too sure when it would be acceptable to stop.

“Did you ever look through it?” You asked as you turned on the couch, the still closed songbook now on your lap. He had promised to be there with you when you opened it and he was.

“I did,” Bobby admitted, turning just as you had. “When I first found it an-and before I gave it to you.”

You nodded once before looking down at the cover of the songbook. Then quickly before you could change your mind you opened it.

The first sight you were met with was your name in Luke’s handwriting on the front cover, his own name right underneath it. You’d been expecting it but it still caught you off guard. Then you saw the song lyrics on the first page and broke down completely.

It was a page full of scribbles and smudges and crossed out words. Your handwriting and his mixed together in a way that didn’t quite make sense but that held memories only you had shared with him. A tear fell onto the page and you quickly dabbed it away when you saw the ink start to run, leaving behind a spot of paper crinkling in on itself.

You only made it through a couple pages before you stopped paying attention to the words, soft cries bouncing against the walls. Bobby took the notebook from your hands carefully, sniffling once and wiping the tears out of his own eyes.

“He, uh,” He flipped open to the last dogeared page, one near the very back. That one, like the others, was covered in smudges of lines that had been erased and written several times over. Lines that were erased and never finished. “Luke was writing this for you. Started it the night you guys-”

Bobby stopped the moment he noticed you shut your eyes tightly and he knew you were remembering that day. He quickly shook his head, his own thoughts going back to that day.

He’d walked into the garage late that night and had found Luke hunched over the notebook just as he had dozens of times before. Unlike the other times, though, his face was twisted into deep concentration as he stopped every few seconds to think. When he finally let him read what he had been working on he wasn’t at all surprised by what he found on the pages.

“You have to know he wasn’t mad at you,” Bobby shut the songbook once more after reading through that same list and looked at you once more. There was a different sort of heartache painted on your face and it pained him to look at it. He did it anyway though, you deserved as much.

“How do you know that though?”

“Because he never was. He never got angry at you ever but especially not that night. He wanted to stop by your place the night of the sh- of the show. But we -” He sighed then and his head fell, eyes shutting tight as he once again recalled every single event the night of the Orpheum show. He’d replayed it dozens of times over, wishing more than anything that he could go back and change it all.

Then Bobby caught sight of the tears streaming down your face once more and without thinking he wrapped you in as comforting a hug as he could muster. It took a few moments before he realized it was the first time since before the show that he was doing so. Even the simple action reminded him too much of the friends, brothers really, that he’d lost.

But they were gone. They were gone and you were here. You were right there beside him and you needed him. “We ran out of time.”

The silence hung heavy between the two of you. The feeling you felt, though, was anything but. It was a strange one that almost made you feel that despite everything you’d gone through the last few months you’d be okay as long as you had more moments like these.

You thought of the boys then. Of messing around with Reggie and late night talks with Alex. And of Luke. Your Luke who you wanted to say so many things to but couldn’t anymore.

“We did, didn’t we?”

It was the day before your next appointment with Dr. Crystal that you sat alone in your room. This time though, you were surrounded by old sheets covered in lyrics and notes written on various scraps of paper. Some of them were in your handwriting, sure, but it also included some in Luke’s. His and Reggie’s and Alex’s and Bobby’s.

The last few days had been spent reading all those old notes and the songs filling the majority of the songbook. You’d been trying to work up the courage to finally look at the one Luke had been working on. The one supposedly meant for you.

With a deep sigh you finally opened the cover and flipped to the page you’d been avoiding until that moment.

The first thing you saw was a single line at the top of the left page.

I hope you know for you I'd sacrifice to make this right

What quickly drew your attention though was the letters bigger than anything else on the page. You’d spent ages mastering the art of reading Luke’s handwriting and you could immediately tell he’d written and rewritten it until it was as neat as he could manage.

I wish I could've made you stay and I'm the only one to blame. I know that it's a little too late. This is everything I didn't say.

The last phrase had been written over a couple times and underlined. Right underneath it though was a list paired with bits and pieces of lyrics.

All the songs that we wrote

1. We’ve written so many things together and I can’t imagine doing this without you. You always let me ramble on, help me gather it all together in a way I can’t on my own. 

All the wrongs that I hoped would erase from your memory.

2. For some reason you always forgive me. Whether it was making you late or getting us in trouble or some stupid fight we had. This is different and I don’t know what’s going to happen but you have to know I’m sorry. 

Holding onto a broken and empty heart.

3. I could’ve done better. I know that. All I can think of is all the times you talked to me. All the times you trusted me. And I hate that I told you I’d be there for you and I wasn’t always. I’m so sorry, Y/N. 

Flowers I should’ve bought, all the hours I lost. Wish I could bring it back to the start.

4. I needed to say all of this sooner. I know that. I took what we have for granted and god I just want you here with me again. 

The amount of time that passed was unclear. All you did was read the words over and over again until you practically had them memorized, burned into even the deepest parts of your brain. At some point you registered the stiff feeling of dry tears on your cheeks and it was then that you reached for a pencil.

Your hands shook as you brought the songbook onto your lap and leaned over the page. The letters came out wobbly, just barely legible, as your breathing picked up faster than you would’ve liked.

The moment the words were on the page, though, it felt like a weight was finally being lifted off of your shoulders. Written in your handwriting right on the opposite side of Luke’s were the same words he’d written months before you.

Everything I Didn’t Say

Tags

Everything: @meangirlsx​ @theolivekiddo​ @dream-a-little-bigger-x​ @s-h-a-d-o-w-s​

To the following, you guys had mentioned wanting to be added to taglists on this post but by all means please feel more than free to let me know if you wanna be removed, I won’t mind!: @n0wornever​ @calamitykaty​ @hellophantoms​ @jaskiers-sweetkiss​ @funsizearsonist​ @crybabyddl​ 

message me/shoot me an ask if you’d like to be added/removed

[pixxie-dusts]

Lover of Mine - Luke Patterson x Reader

Pairings: 90s!Luke x reader; ghost!Luke x ghost!reader; platonic!alex x reader

based on the song lover of mine by 5 seconds of summer

word count: 1,466 (lyrics not included)

warnings: mentions of death, car accident

summary: Y/N told her friends that eating the hotdogs wasn’t a good idea, but her boyfriend Luke was stubborn (as always) and insisted they go through with it. She lost her best friends that night. A while later she finds herself in the wrong place at the wrong time. She wakes up and finds a familiar face and is given the chance to be reunited with her friends once again.

a submission for @jatpx5sos​ week day one: favorite song !

a/n: some of the song was a little hard for me to write so i cut out the first two verses or so. i had no idea how to write the boys’ death. i don’t know if dying of food poisoning would be slow or quick. i did the best i could, hah. also, the last chunk takes place after Alex meets Willie, i was just too lazy to write the scene exactly as it was. and one more thing, we’re gonna pretend Julie can somehow see the reader. let’s just say it’s some ghost mojo or something. anyways, without further ado, here’s the fic :)

Lover of mine, I know you're color-blind I've watched the world fall from your eyes Ooh, ooh, ooh All my regrets and things you can't forget Light them all up, kiss them goodbye

That night at the Orpheum should have been amazing, but it became a nightmare come true. Y/N had tried to convince the boys that the hot dogs weren’t the best idea. She even offered to pay for dinner at one of the local diners to celebrate the big night, but they insisted it was the best way to fuel up before the show. She sat on the arm of the old, torn up couch next to Alex and listened to Luke gush about how awesome it was that they were actually playing the Orpheum. She could listen to him talk about his passion all day long, the way his eyes lit up always made her smile. The boys made a “cheers!” motion with their street dogs and dug in. Y/N watched as Alex’s face went white. “That’s a new flavor…,” he said with his mouth full. Reggie gave a slight chuckle, “Chill, dude. Street dogs haven’t killed us yet!” It wasn’t long before all of their faces turned as white as Alex’s did. Y/N sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, “I told you guys this wasn’t a good idea. Look at you guys, you look like you’re going to be sick.” But there was no response. No sarcastic remark back like Y/N had expected. She turned her gaze back to the boys. “Guys?” she spoke, a worried tone in her voice. There was still no response. The boys’ eyes were closed and their limbs seemed to have gone completely limp. Y/N noticed their half-eaten street dogs were lying on the floor. Her boys were gone. 

Y/N lived without her boys for a few months. It was hard, but she managed to make it through. She threw herself into music, writing a few songs about the heartbreak losing them had caused. She had even booked herself a few local gigs, hoping to maybe make it a little further. However, that was not destined to happen. 

Y/N was on her way home from a local coffee shop. She had managed to make it onto the setlist of an open mic night and she had just finished up. Since the coffee shop was only a few blocks away from her home, she decided to walk. She had almost made it home when she suddenly heard the screeching of tires and saw a bright light coming towards her. She turned her head but was frozen in place. There was a loud crash, a jolt of pain, and then everything went dark.

I'll never give you away, 'cause I've already made that mistake,  If my name never fell off your lips again I know it'd be such a shame When I take a look at my life and all of my crimes You're the only thing that I think I got right I'd never give you away, 'cause I’ve already made, already made that mistake. 

Y/N appeared along the streets of Sunset Boulevard. She had no idea what happened. After the accident, she was in a dark room for a little while and then she was suddenly here. She didn’t even have a minute to recollect her thoughts before she realized that people were walking through her. That’s when she began to panic. She walked around hoping to bump into someone, but everyone passed right through her. She was terrified, she had no idea what was going on. 

Y/N continued to make her way down the street trying to come up with a possible solution as to what was going on. She had lost track of how many blocks she had walked, all she knew now is it was a lot. She stopped to lean against a bench to catch her breath but then noticed she wasn’t even breathing. Even if she could, though, she definitely would have stopped in that moment. There was another person on the bench, and he definitely was not passing through her. Y/N was met with a familiar mop of blonde hair. “Alex?” Y/N gasped. He looked at the girl and his eyes lit up as he shouted, “Y/N!” He wrapped his friend in a hug. Then he came to a realization, and he became confused, “Y/N? But how-?” 

Y/N cut him off, “I’m about as confused as you are, buddy. The last I knew you guys were dead and I got in a car crash. Suddenly I appeared on the sidewalk out of nowhere and you’re back. I haven’t the slightest idea what’s going on.” 

Alex chuckled, “Lucky for you, I just met a new friend who explained everything to me. But you’re gonna wanna sit down for this one, it’s a bit of a doozy.”

“So what you’re saying is we’re ghosts?” Y/N asked, astonished. Alex nodded as his friend tried to process the information she had just been given over. She couldn’t wrap her head around it. She wasn’t even sure she believed in ghosts. Obviously, she had to now, though, because she had become one and Alex was already one. Wait. If Alex was a ghost, did that mean…?

“Alex?” Y/N asked. Alex responded with a soft hum. Y/N looked at him, “If I’m a ghost, and you’re a ghost, does that mean the other boys are ghosts too?” Alex nodded again as the girl’s eyes widened. Her voice began to fill with excitement, “Can you take me to them?”

Alex helped Y/N poof to the garage where the boys were currently living. “I’ll go in first,” Alex said, “I’ll tell them I have something to show them and then I’ll come and grab you.” Y/N nodded and Alex made his way in. 

When he made his way in, he was instantly greeted by his friends. “Oh, hey Alex!” said a first voice, Y/N recognized as Reggie. “Good, you’re finally here! Now we can get started with rehearsals,” said a female voice Y/N didn’t quite recognize. The next voice was Alex’s, “Okay, okay, we can start in a second. Luke, Reggie, I have a little surprise to show you.” There was one last voice, one that Y/N knew all too well, “Alright, but you better make it quick. We’ve waited this long already for you to grace us with your presence.” Alex spoke one last time as he made his way back outside, “Trust me, this one will be worth it.” Y/N saw Alex come back out of the door. “You ready?” He asked, reaching out his hand. Y/N nodded, taking it. Alex led her into the garage. As they walked in, Alex spoke, “Look who I ran into today!” Three sets of eyes made their way to Y/N, two of them widening at the sight of the familiar face. “No way…” Reggie gasped. Y/N smiled at him, “Hey, Reg!” Then her eyes made her way to Luke’s. He was standing there, speechless. He made his way to the girl standing at the door, “It can’t be…” Y/N started towards him, meeting him in the middle of the room. A soft smile was plastered on her face, “Hey, Lu.” 

Luke still did not believe she was there in front of him. She looked completely unchanged from the last time he had seen her twenty-five years ago. How had she not changed? She should have been able to live a long, happy life. She should have been forty-something with a loving family of her own. Judging by the fact that Alex was very much able to touch her, something had to have happened for her to not be able to do that. 

Luke had to touch her, he had to know this was real. Well, as real as a ghost could get. He slowly extended his right hand, lifting it towards her face. He half expected it to go through, that this was all some sort of illusion. His hand met her face and rested softly against the soft skin of her cheek. She leaned into his touch as he brought the other hand up to caress her cheek. She was real. She was really here in front of him. Y/N followed suit, bringing her hands to the boy’s face and holding it between them. Her fingertips grazed small curls of his hair. The two looked into each other’s eyes, taking in every bit of each other they could. 

Luke was the one to finally break the silence, “Y/N? But, how?” 

Y/N laughed, “I’m still trying to completely figure that out myself. Luckily, I found Alex here and he was able to fill me in on a good bit. From what I understand it’s basically the same as you guys. I died, went to the weird dark room, and now here I am.” 

Luke pulled her in for one more hug. His voice was muffled from the girl’s hair, “Well, no matter how it happened, you’re here now, and there’s no way I’m, letting you go again. I already made that mistake one time.” He placed a soft kiss to her forehead as he began to fill Y/N in on everything that had happened to him and the boys thus far.

[jaskiers-sweetkiss]

Heartbreak Girl

Pairing: Carrie Wilson x Reader

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings: some swearing

A/N: This is my submission for Day 1 - Favorite Song for @jatpx5sos week! It’s also my first Carrie fic which I’m really excited about! I dont have just one favorite 5sos song so I chose Heartbreak Girl because it is an absolute bop. Let me know what you think and send me an ask if you want to be added to my taglist! 

Masterlist

___

You couldn’t exactly say you were surprised when you got the text from your best friend informing you that her boyfriend had just broken up with her. You’d seen the signs: their disagreement after the pep assembly, their interactions at the dance, and the way Nick was suddenly very interested in Julie. You knew it was only a matter of time before they broke it off again.

So no, you weren’t surprised when you got Carrie’s text a couple of days after the dance but you were supportive.

You were in your car minutes later, on your way to the grocery store to pick up Carrie’s favorite ice cream and some chocolate. Not long after you were pulling through the security gate before being pulled through the front door, ready to hold your best friend while you ate cookie dough ice cream straight from the container and marathoned all her favorite movies.

“Thank you for coming,” Carrie sniffled once you were safely tucked into the privacy of her bedroom.

“You know I’d do anything for you Car,” you replied honestly, pulling the ice cream out of the grocery bag and handing her one of the spoons you snagged from the kitchen earlier.

You settled down on the bed next to her, handing her the ice cream while taking the tv remote and beginning to flick through the various streaming services.

“What do you want to watch first?” You asked, looking away from the tv for a moment to look over at her.

You didn’t wait for an answer before turning on Mean Girls. Carrie and Nick had been on-again-off-again for long enough for this to become a routine for the two of you. You always started with Mean Girls, and then moved on to the rest of her comfort movies.

You laid back into the pillows after that, tossing a comforting arm around your friend’s shoulder. You stayed that way for the rest of the night, sharing the cookie dough ice cream and a variety of other snacks and occasionally talking.

It was bittersweet, you thought as Carrie laid curled up to your side as you lounged against her pillows, Clueless playing in the background and empty ice cream container long forgotten. On one hand, you were absolutely livid that Nick had broken Carrie’s heart once again but on the other, you couldn’t help the way your heart warmed when you looked down at the girl beside you and the intense desire to never let her go.

Alright so maybe you had a crush on your best friend, but even if it wouldn’t destroy your friendship you couldn’t tell her. She just got dumped and it would be beyond unfair to dump those feelings on her.

She’d fallen asleep sometime during the third movie and she looked so peaceful, no worries about stupid blond-haired boys in her dreams. You didn’t want to wake her up but you had a curfew to make and you knew she’d be pissed if you left without saying anything.

“Car, I have to go,” You whispered, shaking her lightly as the credits for Clueless rolled in the background.

“Please don’t go,” she pouted, wrapping an arm around you in an attempt to keep you there.

“My parents will kill me,” you said apologetically, pulling her arm away from you but holding onto her hand for a moment longer. “But I’ll be by your side all day at school and I can come over right after.”

Carrie nodded, looking up at you from her pillows as you stood from the bed, her hand still in yours.

“Thanks for being such a good friend,” she said sleepily, squeezing your hand before letting go completely.

You felt your heart drop along with her hand at the words but you shook off the disappointment. Your friendship with her was much more important than whatever feelings you might have.

___

As soon as you arrived at school the next day Carrie was glued to your side. As soon as you stepped onto the pavement of the parking lot she was swooping in, slipping her arm around yours.

“Good morning my bestest friend in the whole world,” she said cheerily, a smile plastered on her face.

You could tell it was all for show, however. You could see right through the exaggerated smile and haughty look, you knew her too well and for too long to fall for the persona she’d created for everyone else at school. She was still hurting and if you couldn’t fill the hole Nick had left in her heart then you’d at least do your best to help mend it.

“How’d you sleep?” You asked, using your free hand to sling your backpack over your shoulder.

Carrie shrugged, “Good I guess.”

You nodded silently as you walked arm-in-arm towards the doors. You noticed her hesitate when you reached the threshold of the building, afraid of what might lie inside the doors, but you didn’t say anything, merely turning to give her a reassuring smile before tilting your chin up and walking confidently through the doors. Carrie mimicked your show of strength, pushing her shoulders back and her chin up as she entered the school, fully embodying the appearance of the Queen Bee she’d made herself out to be.

Nothing seemed out of place as you walked through the halls to your lockers, crowds parted to let you through. From the outside, you and Carrie must’ve looked like the picture of poise and you could tell that was reassuring your friend. The façade wasn’t shattered until you were nearing your first class.

Carrie nearly froze when the two of you turned the corner to see Nick walking in the opposite direction. Rather than show weakness, she quickly shook it off, reaching out to lace her fingers through yours, letting your hands hang between you rather than keeping your elbows linked. You squeezed her hand gently as you steered her through the door of your English class and out of the Nick-infested hallways.

The rest of the day proceeded similarly, Carrie holding onto you either through linked arms or linked hands for support, especially if Nick was in the vicinity. The worst was music, the only class you didn’t sit with each other in since Carrie was a vocal student and you were a pianist. Fortunately, though, Mrs. Harrison decided today would be a good day to assign a duet project and you and Carrie were able to partner up. Before you knew it, the final bell was ringing and Carrie was practically dragging you to the parking lot, desperate to get as far away from the school as possible.

“So I was thinking we start with Legally Blonde, and then Bring It On, followed by Mamma Mia,” Carrie rambled off her movie list as you walked arm-in-arm to your cars.

You laughed slightly but nodded.  

“Sounds good.”

You separated briefly and only to drive your cars to her house. Carrie linked your arms once more when you arrived, marching assuredly up the driveway. There was no falsity in the confidence she embodied in her own home, though she now also wore her vulnerability on her sleeve. You felt lucky that she trusted you enough to let her guards down, you got to see a different side of her than pretty much everyone else. Maybe that’s why you fell for her.

The rest of the afternoon and evening went similarly to yesterday, with the two of you snuggled up to each other talking through the movies. You’d both seen them so many times that you could practically recite them from memory.

You took it a step further when you got to Mamma Mia, you having pulled Carrie off the bed when Dancing Queen started. You danced around her room wildly as you sang through the rest of the songs in the movie until you were laughing too hard to breathe and your limbs felt heavy and you collapsed once more onto the bed.

“I wish I had what they have,” Carrie said mournfully as you watched Sam and Donna and Sophie and Sky celebrate their relationships.

“You’ll find it someday,” you said softly, trying to reassure her while also desperately trying not to picture her with someone else. You weren’t sure your heart could take it at that moment.

Carrie scoffed, rolling over to face you. “I’ll never find someone as good for me as you.”

“W-what?”

Carrie peered at you, a mixture of sadness and hope and something else you couldn’t determine.

“I wish I could find someone who’s as good for me as you are,” she repeated, switching up the phrasing as if that’s what you were struggling with, not the fact that this felt like some kind of confession of forbidden love.

“I- well… why not me?” You stuttered out, a burst of bravery you didn’t know you had in you pushing the words out of your mouth. You figured you never would have said it if you hadn’t been so caught off guard by her words.

“Y/N don’t be stupid, you’re not into girls,” Carrie huffed, starting to roll away from you but your arm shot out to grab hers, halting her movements.

“Caroline Wilson I have been in love with you for like two fucking years!”

“You what?!” She practically screeched, jumping up until she was sitting on her knees on the mattress, pulling you up until you were doing the same. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because you had Nick and I couldn’t ruin our friendship,” you shrugged, your words coming out calm despite the pounding of your heart and the butterflies flapping around your stomach.

“I would’ve ditched Nick in a heartbeat if I’d known I could have you,” Carrie confessed and when you looked up she was much closer than you’d remembered. Your lips were mere inches apart,  your noses nearly bumping each other. “Can I?” Carrie breathed out, voice barely audible over the pounding of your heartbeat in your ears.

You’d barely nodded when her lips were on yours, softer than you could’ve ever imagined and tasting slightly of her favorite strawberry lip balm that you’d seen her apply earlier.

“So does that mean you’ll be my girlfriend?” You asked quietly when you finally parted.

“Yes you idiot,” Carrie laughed, her smile the biggest and brightest you’d seen in days and suddenly you were being pulled into another kiss.

Beautiful mood board made by the lovely @bright-molina!!!

___

JATP Taglist: @meangirlsx @morganayennefertyrell @n0wornever

[jatpx5sos]

The JATP x 5sos crossover week will be held from January 20th - January 26th (thank you to all who participated in the poll)!

To participate please make sure you tag @jatpx5sos and tag #jatpx5sos so we can reblog it! Also feel more than free to tag us in your creations as well if you’d like! More rules and guidelines can be found here and if you have any questions feel free to send us an ask!!

We can’t wait to see what you come up with!

- Bianca (@bright-molina​), Erin (@jaskiers-sweetkiss​), and Tori (@txrii​)

Day One - Favorite Song: Create something based on your favorite 5sos song!

Day Two - Parallels: This can be any kind of parallel! Thematic, lyrical, comparing characters/band members, etc. Go crazy!

Day Three - Hype Song: Create something based off a 5sos hype song!

Day Four - Sad Song: Create something based off a 5sos sad song!

Day Five - B-Sides and Rarities: Create something based off a song from the B-Sides or Rarities!

Day Six - 5SOS Era’s: Create something based on the different 5sos Eras. Can be based off a song, album, or major event within the time period. Again, go crazy!

Somewhere New EP - the early days of the band

Self-Titled - starting to grow a following, first tour

SGFG - the band is really taking off

Youngblood/CALM - current era

Day Seven - Free Day: There are no guidelines for this day! Write a second fic for one of the period prompts, write something completely different! It’s up to you! Have fun!

[littlemissaddict]

Pizza

Written for Day Five of @jatpx5sos week.

Summary: Reggie gives Luke some unexpected inspiration for a song.

Word Count: 544

A/n: It’s short and sweet but I needed a pick me up after a bad couple of days and this really helped.

“Come on guys, the sooner we finish this the sooner we can get pizza” Julie calls, trying to get the boys attention from where they had been arguing over god knows what for the past five minutes but her patience was starting to run thin.

“Pizza?” 

Julie chuckled, of course that would get Reggie’s attention; it was no secret that the boy loved pizza.

“Yes now can we get with this” she asked again, watching the way Reggie’s eyes lit up in excitement as he bounced over to his usual spot. The mention of pizza seemed to motivate the other two boys as well because Alex sat back down behind his drum kit and Luke took his position behind the mic stand.

“Okay boss, where are we at?” Luke asks.

Alex counts them down and they start playing again, this time they manage to get through the whole song without anyone messing up or getting distracted which is a relief because Julie isn’t sure how much more she can take especially when they’ve got a gig at the weekend.

“Oh man that was the best we’ve ever played it” Luke states excitedly.

“Yeah and it probably would have done a lot sooner if we didn’t get distracted every five seconds” Julie points out and the boys hum in agreement before Reggie’s voice fills the silence.

“So pizza now?” he asks looking at Julie, who can’t help but laugh and nod her head in agreement causing all three of the boys to cheer. “Pizza! Pizza!” Reggie chants as he makes his way to the garage doors followed by the others.

After they’ve indulged on pizza they head back out to the studio with the intention of just hanging out for a bit but Luke heads straight to his guitar and flops down on the couch playing around with different chords. Julie, Alex and Reggie decide not to disturb him as they know that when inspiration strikes its best to get it down before it’s gone. After about ten minutes Luke seems to have got the chords that he wants and he’s started humming along to it as he plays.

“Sounds good” Reggie comments when Luke stops playing, a smile appears on Luke’s face.

“Thanks Reg but you’re the one who gave me the idea” Luke announces earning himself confused looks from the whole group, he begins to play again but this time adds in the lyrics “Reggie wants another slice, Reggie wants another slice, Reggie wants another slice, Pizza! Pizza!”

Reggie watches with wide eyes and an excited smile on his face as he listens to the song.

“Oh my god” Julie chuckles along with Alex when Luke's finished playing but he’s not done yet. He gets Alex going on the drums playing it through a few times so that he can pick up the melody and then they’re playing it for real, Luke singing and Reggie shouting pizza. Julie can’t help the laughter that escapes her as she watches the three of them because the whole thing is absolutely ridiculous but very much sums up the boys and she couldn’t be happier that she’s managed to find them. 

And if she’s filmed it to show Flynn later then they don’t need to know.

[funsizearsonist]

most of the blogs I follow: doing jatpx5sos week, love 5sos, listen to them at least somewhat frequently, either very prepared (Nele/ @dream-a-little-bigger-x) or unprepared (Ollie/ @theolivekiddo love sry) 

me: not doing jatpx5sos week, hasn’t really listened to a single 5sos song, was only vaguely aware of the concept of them until like a week ago

Also me: doing my best to read fics written for jatpx5sos week and loving all of them even if I don’t quite know what’s going on

[rizbert]

Babylon - Everything I Didn’t Say (part 2)

synopsis: As the months go by you find that not everything is always easy. Bobby continues trying to make it big and you continue working on Luke’s song. Time starts getting away from both of you until one day everything changes more than you thought possible.

word count: 5.3k

pairing: Luke Patterson x reader

warnings: a little more of reader and Bobby working through the grieving process, mentions of a car accident

a/n: I’m so late but this is for @jatpx5sos​​ Week Day Four: Sad Song! The song I used was Babylon which is like, a vibe, but also the lyrics get me. Part two of the Everything I Didn’t Say Series and we’re definitely picking up now.

Also disclaimer, I know absolutely nothing about law so keep that in mind

part one

The songbook kept its place in your bag but it felt less heavy now. 

Every time you opened the book it got a little easier. Soon enough you were finishing your list and you could feel the spark that had nearly disappeared growing stronger once again. 

Getting back into music helped. At first it was just listening as Bobby messed around on his guitar when you finally dared to go back into the garage with him. It was one of those times that you’d stumbled across a shoebox filled with pictures and notes, much like the one you had in your room. 

“I forgot we kept those in here,” Bobby had spoken softly as he looked through all the pictures with you. 

“I didn’t know you guys had these.” You smiled as you flipped through polaroids and photo booth sheets and negative film strips. “Honestly didn’t think you were picture people.” 

“We weren’t,” It was then that Bobby recalled one memory in particular. “Alex showed up for rehearsal once with some pictures he’d gotten developed for you. Said you liked them cause they were reminders of memories that made you happy for when you needed them. After that we just kinda started collecting them.”

“I -” You paused as you thought back, now being able to recall dozens of little moments you didn’t think twice of at the time. “I never knew.” 

Bobby looked up from the picture he’d been looking at before walking over and handing it to you. It was one of all five of you the morning before a gig they’d gotten. 

“Keep it,” His voice came out soft and you were a little surprised but he quickly moved on after reassuring you that it was okay. “Let me show you something I’ve been working on.”

When the coffee place you and Bobby frequented started hosting open mics you were the one to suggest he sign up. When he finally decided to, you were always at the very front alongside Rose. And when she started performing with her new band you were just as eager to support her.

The two of you had gotten considerably closer over the last few months and she was the only one that knew you were working on the song Luke had started. She’d been beside you when you first tried and it had very quickly and very easily grown into talking and the occasional songwriting session you realized you had missed.

You were the first one she gave tickets to when Rose and the Petal Pushers got a gig at a particularly popular club. It was the day of the show as you were standing in line that you finally gathered the courage to tell Bobby. What you didn’t know was that he had news of his own.

“Guess what I’ve been doing”

“I need to tell you something”

The amusement laced with a bit of nerves was more obvious than ever. In both of you. Bobby was the first one to work through it, though, as he tried to put off telling you what he’d been about to say. “You first.”

“You know,” For just a moment you hesitated, thinking of the songbook you’d left behind for the first time since receiving it. “You know that song you said Luke was writing? I’ve been trying to finish it.”

For a moment Bobby didn’t say anything and you weren’t quite sure what was going through his head. Your worry only lasted for a second before he practically beamed at you.

“That’s amazing Y/N,” There was nothing but pride on his face as he spoke his next words. “Luke would love that you’re doing this again.”

“He really would.”

And for the first time in six months, right there outside a concert venue, you thought about Luke and Reggie and Alex and didn’t immediately feel a little broken inside. The cracks were starting to heal and though you knew it wouldn’t always be this easy, it was a start.

“Tell me your news now.” You were the one who grinned then as you took a couple steps forward in line. When you stopped to look at Bobby, though, you saw a look you hadn’t seen in a while. His hands were shoved deep in his pockets and he was staring at the ground beneath his feet with concentration twisted on his face.

“I, uh,” He just barely managed to look up at you and you knew then something was bothering him. “Some guy called me after that open mic thing at the coffee place the other day. Said they were interested and now I have a meeting with some producer in a couple days.”

“Bobby that’s great!” You smiled right away but he didn’t seem to notice your excitement for him.

“Yeah, I’m not gonna go.”

The two of you took a couple more steps forward and you pulled out the tickets Rose had given you, taking a second to compose your own thoughts. Finally you asked, “Why not?”

“I don’t,” His stare once again returned to the floor. “I don’t want to do this alone. I wanted to do this with you and Alex and Reggie and Luke but they aren’t here and I just -”

You could see him spiraling quickly and so you reached for him gently, just as he had done for you dozens of times over the last few months. Bobby turned towards you then and found only the most reassuring look in your eyes. He was reminded then that no matter what thoughts filled his head he could tell you absolutely anything.

“I don’t think I can do this without them.”

“Of course you can,” You paused only to hand the person at the door your tickets, stopping just inside the door to make sure he actually heard the words you were saying. “You think those boys would let you bail out on this opportunity? They’d want you to do this more than anyone. You still have me and I’m telling you you’ve got this. Now what is it you always told each other when one of you got like this.”

Bobby laughed as the phrase echoed clearly in his head and for a second he was reminded of the last time he’d heard it. His smile softened a bit but it still remained as he repeated the words. “Own your awesomeness.”

“Exactly,” You nodded firmly, oblivious to the memory that was playing in his head. “You’re going to that meeting even if it means I have to force you there myself and you’re going to crush it.”

*

Three days later Bobby met you at the coffee shop that had become a safe haven for the two of you. You were sitting at the table right by the windows as always with his usual tea already waiting for him. It took no time at all for him to start telling you everything.

“Most of it sounds pretty okay.”

You knew right away there was something missing to the story, his eyes had moved to train on the table. “But?”

“They asked about experience and I told them about Sunset Curve,” He stopped bouncing his leg just long enough to take a long drink from the mug in his hands before resuming the action. “They want me to change my name.”

“I -” You frowned as you leaned forward on the table, not too sure if you’d heard the right thing. “What?”

“Apparently your dad did too good a job of keeping our names out of all the papers after -” You knew exactly what Bobby meant. Neither of you had even known any reporters were looking for you until you’d been cornered a few days after the accident. “Anyway they said something stupid about not wanting my name connected to the whole thing.”

“So they want you to change it in order to separate yourself?” You watched as he silently nodded. The only acknowledgement he gave of the proposition he’d been given. “What do you think about it?”

“I don’t know,” Bobby gave a heavy sigh before throwing back the rest of his tea. The cup clattered against the table and he leaned forward, thoughts racing back and forth in his mind. “I don’t want to separate myself from it. It happened and it's a part of me and it always will be. But changing my name doesn’t take that away, you know?”

You glanced at him and found him deep in his own thoughts. “Yeah. I guess not.”

When Bobby looked at you he knew. You’d always been able to read him easily but he could do the same thing now. Your fingers twisted the ring covered in butterflies that Rose had given you for your birthday back and forth and he knew. You didn’t know what to say and he wasn’t too sure how to tell you that was okay.

So instead he opted for changing the focus of the conversation. “Tell me how the song’s coming along.”

And it worked. Immediately you grinned and pulled out the songbook to show him your progress. It wasn’t long before you launched into an explanation of what you wanted to do, anything and everything else being pushed away to the back of your mind.

Only a couple of weeks later you were getting ready for his first show alongside Rose. The three of you had slept on the various couches in your living room the night before and while Bobby had left earlier, you and Rose were taking your time.

It was then, though, that you realized Bobby had taken your only means of transportation. When you brought it up Rose only smiled. “Someone’s picking us up.”

“Who’s someone?” You couldn’t help the smirk that flashed on your face, as you scribbled more notes in the margins of the songbook. “Like a date?”

“Just someone,” Rose looked over at you then only to find you with a pencil in your hands. It was the same position she found you in more often than not. “You know there’s a few people I know who I think you’d like.”

That comment made you look up and as hard as you tried, you couldn’t help the image of Luke that appeared in your head. You thought of him. Of flashes of moments. Hands held, smiles that were a bit too soft, looks that lasted a little too long. A collection of almosts that never turned into more for fear of ruining what you’d now lost either way.

You shook your head much too easily for her liking. “I’m okay.”

“Y/N, I’m telling you this because I love you,” Rose moved to sit beside you and gently set her hand on top of the songbook you barely ever let out of your sight. “Eventually you’ll finish the song and when that happens you don’t want to jump head first into something you aren’t ready for. You’re doing so good and I’m proud of you. There’s a lot more out there, though, and if you want I can help ease you into it.”

You knew she was right. She always was.

“I’ll let you know when I’m ready,” You promised her and she accepted the answer. Then you pointed to the page under her hands. One that was clean, sharp white pages as opposed to the well loved ones she was used to seeing. “If it makes you feel better this is a new one I’m working on for Bobby.”

“Can I see?” Rose looked at you excitedly and waited until you nodded to start reading the words on the page.

It was as you watched a grin grow larger on her face while she read the lyrics that you smiled and reached for the camera you’d invested in after finding the pictures in Bobby’s garage. You stood and dragged her out of the room with you.

“Come on,” You took her into the backyard where the sun was shining high in the sky, both of you ignoring the chill that came with the winter months. You started fiddling with the buttons of the digital camera you’d only just figured out how to work.

Rose watched you play around with the buttons for a few moments before shaking her head in amusement. “When’d you get into photography?”

“I’m not,” You moved to stand next to where she was and beamed at her. “I just like keeping the memories.”

You weren’t surprised at all when only a month and a half later Bobby was giving you tickets to a show he’d booked at the Troubadour.

“Bobby this is amazing,” You grinned as you hugged him, the envelope clutched tightly in your hands. The two of you were once again at the coffee shop but this time you’d moved towards the back.

The last time the two of you had been there a few days before several people had recognized him, cutting into your conversation more than once. This time you’d agreed to take precautions.

“Trevor.”

“What?”

“There’s lots of people around,” Bobby watched as your face fell and he quickly shook his head, twisting a bit in his chair to face you completely. “Just when we’re out like this. I’m still -”

But he didn’t continue. Nevertheless you knew what he meant so instead you gave a short, awkward laugh. “That’s gonna take some getting used to.”

There was a pause for a moment and you had no clue what to say. This was completely new territory and you’d be lying if you said the whole thing didn’t throw you off a bit. A sudden shrill beeping noise cut through the silence and Bobby pulled out his phone, frowning when he saw the number.

Instead of answering, though, he quickly pressed the red button and gave you his full attention. “Tell me about what you’re working on.”

He still knew you better than anyone and watched as you eagerly pulled out the almost pristine songbook. The one filled with new projects the two of you had started together. He shook his head though and nodded towards your bag. “Forget those. Show me what you’ve been writing.”

You knew exactly what he meant. The song Luke had started. The very one he knew you’d been struggling with recently. Your smile turned softer then and you pulled out the other songbook. “Alright.”

The two of you sat together for a while longer. It was different writing with him than it was writing with Rose. You bounced ideas off of him and he told you exactly what he thought, good or bad. He helped you think of how the melody could go and what might work better. It was simple and easy and an experience you had missed over the last few weeks.

That only made it a bit harder when someone came in and made a beeline for your table. Bobby introduced him to you as his manager and soon enough he was apologizing as he was dragged away with a promise to call you later.

Once the car he’d gotten into pulled away you let your smile fall as a sigh escaped you. Then you caught sight of the envelope on the table and you slowly reached for it. Inside was three tickets and you really couldn’t help the way your frown deepened as you read the words printed in big bold letters. Trevor Wilson: Live at the Troubadour.

*

“I have something for you.”

Two months after playing the Troubadour, Bobby showed up at your house at almost midnight looking wide awake and excited. You could count the number of times you’d seen him since then on one hand. You could understand the fact that he was busy well enough but that didn’t make it any easier. Especially knowing what was coming up soon.

“Hello to you too,” You sighed with a tired look in your eyes. His interruption was more than welcome, tearing your attention away from the exams you had been studying for. Where Bobby had jumped right into making music full time, you had been ambushed with work when you started school again a semester late.

“Close your eyes.”

“What?”

“Close your eyes,” Bobby repeated his own words and waited until you did so. You could feel him reach for one of your hands, open it, and then place something in your palm. “Alright you can look now.”

You were met with a cd case that had a picture of him on the cover. Almost immediately you knew what it was and you gasped excitedly as you read the title and opened the case. “No.”

“Yes. That’s the very first copy of the EP,” Bobby laughed when you ran past him and towards the cd player, fumbling as you raced to put it on. “I wanted you to have it.”

Moments after you pressed play the sound of an electric guitar filled the room and your delight bubbled over. Soon you and Bobby were both jumping all around the room as the two of you screamed along to every song at the top of your lungs.

“You missed my favorite part though,” He announced a while later as he opened the cd case and removed the little booklet. You set down your camera, having insisted on taking a picture of him with it, and moved towards him, watching as he flipped to the first page.

Underneath the album art and lyrics was a list of credits. Bobby was quick to point out one line in particular.

Written by: Y/N Y/L/N and Trevor Wilson

“We did this together,” He said, watching as you stared at the words with wide eyes. 

He could very easily recall the dozens of conversations you two of you had had over the last several months. There had been more than a few moments he hadn’t been sure he could get through. Moments that he had powered through thanks to you. “I’m sorry I haven’t been the best at keeping in touch lately. That’s on me.”

“Don’t worry about it.” But as soon as the words left your mouth he was hugging you tightly.

“You didn’t have to stay,” He held you a little tighter as the realization hit him. This feeling, the one of having you by his side, was familiar. Welcoming in a way he hadn’t felt in a while. It reminded him of everything he had had before. Everything the two of you had lost. “But you did.”

You weren’t too sure where the sudden flood of emotion came from but you weren’t opposed to it. It was something you had missed. And so you held on a little tighter in an effort to silently show it. “I always will.”

Things were a little bit better after that. Sometimes it was just the two of you while other times Rose joined you. There were even a few occasions when she brought Ray along and the four of you just talked about anything that came to mind. That only lasted a couple weeks though.

A month after the release of the EP, Bobby was pulled away for a show and the visits became calls. Eventually even the calls became more sporadic. Show after show happened and while you tried to go to some you simply couldn’t find it in yourself to go to all of them.

Especially considering it was July again already.

Four days, you thought to yourself as you stared at the words on the pages of the now well worn journal. There were still a few bits and pieces that weren’t quite done yet. Nothing you had tried lately was working and you hadn’t been able to finish it. Not alone.

“You can take a break from it, you know.” Rose told you after watching you drop your head to the table.

“It distracts me.” Your voice came out muffled and when you turned to lay your head more comfortably in your arms she noticed the way you seemed off. And she knew exactly why.

“It makes you feel better,” Rose waited until you nodded in confirmation before disappearing from the room, returning moments later with an acoustic guitar she held out to you. “Do you know how to play it?”

“I, uh,” You slowly sat up in your seat again as you stared at the guitar. “Yeah. A little.”

For a second, though, you sat unnaturally still. The timing of the moment pulled a very particular memory to the front of your mind. When you reached for the guitar your hand was shaky and you gulped, recalling the event you were thinking of.

“Luke taught me,” You adjusted the guitar and you were almost certain you could still feel his hands moving yours to the right place on the instrument. “They - they all did. They taught me a little of everything for when I wanted to add music to the songs and they -”

As hard as you tried you couldn’t push away the stinging behind your eyes. You did, however, manage to keep the tears in. “For when they weren’t there.”

“Play then,” Rose smiled gently as she sat back down beside you. “Maybe it’ll help.”

You weren’t too sure if she meant with the song or with the overwhelming amount of feelings and memories that had overtaken you as the one year mark of the Orpheum show quickly approached. You listened to her though and soon enough you were strumming a few chords a bit warily.

The hesitation didn’t last long. It was easy to get lost in the music after only a couple minutes. You didn’t even notice when Rose snuck your camera out of your bag and took a picture of you working on it.

Only an hour later you were excitedly asking her if you could use her house phone. The number you dialed was Bobby’s, eager to tell him your news. You had finally finished the song. Yours and Luke’s last song together.

There was no answer though. Instead the voicemail message rang loud in your ear. Hey! It’s Trevor Wilson. Can’t come to the phone right now but leave a message.

Despite not being surprised to hear the name on the message it still threw you off a bit. With a quiet sigh you hung up the phone without leaving a message and turned back to where Rose was sitting. Your smile returned then and you walked back over feeling strangely at ease.

She looked up when you sat back down next to her and you paused for only a moment before asking, “Can I play it for you?”

Rose nodded and dropped the pen in her hands while pushing the sheet music away from her. “Of course.”

And so you played the song for the very first time. You were able to get through the part you’d written with little difficulty. It wasn’t until you reached the part of the song that Luke had written that you hesitated. The crack in your voice was evidence enough of the memories playing in your head. You focused instead on the words he’d written to you, pushing back the tears in your eyes.

The sheer level of emotion in your voice brought tears to Rose’s eyes. You were reliving one of the worst moments of your life, sure, but she was also positive then that you were going to be okay. This was the last step you’d needed to take and she was more than happy to be there with you in that moment.

Rose was quick to take the guitar out of your hands as soon as the last chord died out. You didn’t even realize the tears had fallen until she pulled you in for a hug. She held you close until she was sure your silent cries had stopped, waiting until your breathing evened and the tears were nothing but stains on your cheeks.

Finally she pulled back to look at you and nodded. “It’s ready.”

Three days later you finally saw Bobby again. It was near closing but the two of you sat in the coffee shop like always. Near the back away from people again, but still. He looked a little tired but for the most part he was still him. You had to remind yourself of that when he told you he would be busy the next day.

“I can’t do this alone, Bo -” You shut your eyes, shook your head, and gave a heavy sigh. “Trevor.”

“I know and I’m sorry,” Bobby - Trevor - whatever it was he insisted on going by leaned forward on the table, catching your attention again. “I tried to get out of this show, I really did.”

“Tomorrow’s gonna be a year since -”

“I know.” Bobby could tell what you meant even when you cut yourself off.

Frankly that had been the very reason he hadn’t minded being kept busy the last few weeks. But he’d been so caught up in shows and promotions and everything else that he’d forgotten he wasn’t the only one remembering that night a year ago.

“The second I get some time off I promise I will be right by your side.” He waited until you were looking at him again to continue. “We’ll go see them and you can play him your song. Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” It took you a few moments until you agreed but you did. The knowledge that Bobby was still right there did in fact comfort you a bit. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

*

It took four weeks and a lot of rescheduling of Trevor’s schedule before finally the opportunity came up. To his credit, though, he did in fact start dragging you places with him if you were up for it. Especially the recording studio where the two of you and Rose had just spent hours in a few nights before messing around.

Finally one year and a month after the night at the Orpheum you were meeting Bobby to go see your boys together. You’d planned to meet him at the studio building though since the only thing he couldn’t get out of was a meeting they’d scheduled last minute.

You were on your way to the building, your old backpack on one shoulder, guitar case on the other, and a textbook in your hands. Every time you stopped you shifted them, trying to get more comfortable carrying everything.

You weren’t used to carrying that many things. Not at all. That was evidenced by the way you shifted everything on your person every single time you stopped at a crosswalk. 

Your backpack was falling off one shoulder, filled with pictures and lyrics you’d been collecting. The guitar case on your other shoulder at the very least stayed in place. The textbook in your hands you’d just picked up was quickly growing much too heavy when paired with everything else.

Meanwhile Bobby sat just a few blocks away in an office that was much too pristine for his liking. There wasn’t a single thing out of place and it did nothing to calm the anxiety quickly filling him up. 

The bouncing of his shoes against the linoleum floor was the only sound echoing loudly through the room. His focus was on his own reflection staring back at him from the glass table under his hands. He wasn’t too sure how he’d landed himself there in the first place.

Finally, he worked up the courage to speak, “No.”

“Trevor, these are good songs,” The executive he’d already forgotten the name of spoke in a tone that didn’t leave much room for arguing. That wouldn’t stop him though. “Perfect for your first album.”

“No. I’m not using them.”

“You will.”

“I’m not going to!” These were the people that held his career in their hands but Bobby couldn’t bring himself to care. He only cared about one thing. “They’re not mine. They belong to a friend that I lost and I am not doing that to him!”

One cold, emotionless smile paired with a chuckle void of any sort of empathy told him there was no taking anything back now. “You don’t really have a choice in the matter.”

You weren’t expecting your phone to ring so when you stopped in the crosswalk to dig it out of your bag you missed the walk light completely. People all around you grumbled as you shifted all your things again until finally you looked at the little screen to see Bobby’s number.

“I know, I’m running late. I’m almost there, B -” You were suddenly reminded of the people along with the building across the street. “Trevor.”

“They want me to use Luke’s songs for the album.” For a moment all Bobby heard was the sound of traffic on the other end as he paced the empty hallway. Finally, to his relief, he heard your voice on the other end of the phone held tightly to his ear.

“What are you talking about?”

“The songs Sunset Curve never recorded.” Bobby stopped pacing then and leaned against the wall, thinking of what the two of you were supposed to be doing instead. “I gave you the songbook back when you left it here after you and Rose visited but they saw it before then. Word spreads fast and they’re saying it’s in my contract.”

“Bobby, what are you talking about? What contract?” You didn’t even realize he hadn’t corrected you.

“The one that signed me to the label. There’s a section on writing and credits in the fine print and if I don’t take credit for the songs Luke wrote then they will. Y/N, I can’t let them do that. He worked hard on those. They don’t care though. As far as their concerned he doesn’t need the credit since -”

“Since he’s dead.” Somehow the words sounded harsher coming out of your mouth. Bobby only nodded despite the fact that you couldn’t see him.

“There’s no choice then, is there?” You shook your head as you adjusted the guitar once more, getting ready to actually walk across the street.

Your anger blinded you. You knew better than anyone else the effort that went into writing all those songs. Late nights drifting into early mornings until some semblance of a song filled every page in countless journals.

Even now you could still remember the spark in Luke’s eyes whenever he finally managed to work something out. The eager bounce in his step every time he declared he had something to show you. The ease with which the words just flowed out of him. You were never happier than in those moments you spent writing beside him.

“Bobby I have an idea.”

“What?”

“I wrote some of those songs with Luke, right?” You glanced down at the textbook in your hands and for the first time since you’d been forced to go into a field you had no interest in by your parents you smiled. Introduction to Entertainment and Intellectual Property Law.

“Yeah. What are you saying?” Bobby was already piecing it together though, already feeling slightly more at ease than he had been before.

“I’m saying we put my name and his together.” Out of the corner of your eye you saw the walk sign flash on and you started crossing the street. You opened the book with your free hand, oblivious to anything and everything else. “Partial credit is better than nothing right?”

“Yeah. Yeah you’re right.”

“I always am, aren’t I?” You grinned as you stared down at the table of contents, already knowing exactly where to look. “I’m right down the street just give me a couple minutes to -”

Everything happened too fast.

All you were focused on was the situation you’d found yourself in and how to fix it. You didn’t notice the commotion of people behind you and in front of you scrambling to get out of the way. You didn’t see the car skidding past their red light, screeching and honking from every direction left behind in their wake. You didn’t hear Bobby shouting for you over the phone from where it had fallen.

All you saw surrounding you when you opened your eyes was a dark room with no one else in it.

Tags:

Everything: @meangirlsx​​ @theolivekiddo​​ @dream-a-little-bigger-x​​ @s-h-a-d-o-w-s​​ @fangirlangioma​

To the following, you guys had mentioned wanting to be added to taglists on this post but by all means please feel more than free to let me know if you wanna be removed, I won’t mind!: @n0wornever​​ @calamitykaty​​ @hellophantoms​​ @jaskiers-sweetkiss​​ @funsizearsonist​​ @crybabyddl​​

message me/shoot me an ask if you’d like to be added/removed

[pixxie-dusts]

Ghost of You - Luke Patterson

Pairing: 90s!Luke x fem!reader

based on the song ghost of you by 5 seconds of summer

word count: 1,177 (lyrics not included)

warnings: mentions of death

summary: Y/N was proud to be able to watch her boyfriend and his band rock out at the biggest show of their current career. however, hours before they were supposed to hit the stage, disaster struck and three of the four band members were found dead. Y/N seeks comfort in a new friend, and she goes about her life, never once forgetting about Luke Patterson.

a submission for @jatpx5sos week day four: sad song !

a/n: this is the first piece i’ve written in a long time, the first piece i’ve written based on a song, and the first x reader fic i have written (i wrote this before lover of mine). forgive me if i get carried away and/or stray from the lyrics a bit. luke isn’t mentioned a whole lot except for the beginning and the end, but you’ll see why. there’s also a lot of time skips. i didn’t want to make it too long and i didn’t want to focus too much on minor, unimportant details. i hope you enjoy!

Needless to say that July evening was the worst night of her life. Y/N had made a quick errands run after the band had sound checked, while three of the four boys of Sunset Curve hit the streets to grab a bite to eat. She promised she would be back in no more than half an hour, ready to cheer on her boyfriend Luke and his band as they played the biggest show of their career yet, playing the Orpheum. When she did return, it was not into Luke’s loving embrace. Instead, she was greeted with blaring noises and bright flashing lights, and not the kind you’d expect to be coming from a concert venue. Police cars lined the street and an ambulance was pulled into a back alleyway - the same alleyway the boys had gone down to get their street dogs. 

Y/N made her way towards the scene, hoping she would find some answers as to what was going on. She mindlessly fiddled with the black bracelet that adorned her wrist, it was a matching set with Luke. Her eyes soon settled upon a familiar head of dark, curly hair talking to a police officer. It was the girl who worked at the Orpheum that she and the boys had met before they had parted ways. The two had really hit it off as they listened to the boys practice, even going so far as to exchange phone numbers. The girl was just finishing up with the officer as she approached her, “Um, hello - Rose, was it?” The girl, Rose, turned around. Her face fell when she realized who it was, and her voice was full of concern, “Oh, Y/N, hello.” Y/N was beginning to worry. She glanced around the scene and then back at Rose as she spoke, “Could you tell me what’s going on? What happened here?” Before Rose could answer the girl, the ambulance doors were thrust open as three stretches were being hauled over. Y/N gasped when she saw who laid upon them. Luke and her boys were being taken away in the ambulance. 

Here I am waking up, still can't sleep on your side There's your coffee cup, the lipstick stain fades with time If I could dream long enough, you'd tell me I'd be just fine I'll be just fine

Y/N hadn’t been able to sleep right since the incident. She missed Luke’s strong arms holding her close to his chest. Not only that, every time she managed to drift off, his face clouded her mind and she would wake hoping he would be there to tell her everything would be okay. He never was. Y/N had a box full of Luke’s shirts in her room that his parents, Mitch and Emily, had been gracious enough to give to her after it happened. When she would wake like this, she would reach in and grab one and inhale his scent that still lingered on them, and she would fall asleep shortly holding the shirt tight. But scents can only last for so long, and his was slowly starting to fade. 

So I drown it out like I always do Dancing through our house with the ghost of you And I chase it down, with this shot of truth Dancing through our house with the ghost of you

Rose and Y/N remained friends even after the incident. They became almost like siblings. After a year or so of being friends, the two moved into an apartment together. Though, they didn’t stay in it much. They were too busy on the road with Rose and the Petal Pushers, the band that Rose had formed and invited Y/N to join. Being on the road and playing music for so many others was thrilling, though every minute of it reminded Y/N of the boy that she loved. This was Luke’s dream life, and since he couldn’t live it himself she was living it for him.

Cleaning up today, found that old Zeppelin shirt You wore when you ran away, and no one could feel your hurt We're too young, too dumb, to know things like love But I know better now, better now

Rose met a great guy named Ray. They fell in love, and after a while decided to move in together. This left Y/N alone in the apartment she used to share with Rose. She decided it was time to move to a place on her own. She found a smaller apartment in Los Feliz and called it home. With moving comes cleaning, and Y/N had some stuff laying around she could definitely do without. She scoured her drawers and closet, making two piles - keep and donate. 

She thought she had made it to the end, but her eyes caught a folded up piece of fabric in the corner of the closet. Y/N picked it up and unfolded it. She gasped as tears pricked at her eyes. She knew the cutoff sleeves and faded band logo too well. In her trembling hands she held Luke’s favorite shirt. It was the same shirt he wore the night he had run out on his parents. She remembered that night all too well, it was years ago now but it felt like it was only yesterday. She could hear Luke’s shaking voice from when he had called her from the garage studio, asking her to come over. Even though it was raining, she walked the number of blocks just to be with him. She knew he needed someone, he needed her. Luke held her closer and tighter than ever before that night.  Y/N clutched the shirt just as tight as he had clutched her that night as she sat sobbing on her bedroom floor. 

It wasn’t much longer after Rose had moved out that she announced that she was expecting a little girl. She was born, and they named her Julie. Julie had a passion for music, and there was no doubt she inherited that from her mother. Y/N watched Julie grow up, she was basically an aunt to the little girl. The same went for Carlos when he was later born. 

Y/N was close to the whole Molina family, and she was one of the people they found comfort in after Rose passed. 

So I drown it out like I always do Dancing through our house with the ghost of you And I chase it down, with this shot of truth That my feet don't dance like they did with you

Y/N was as proud as everyone else when Julie got her motivation for music back. She was listening to and playing music once again, just as she always used to when Rose was around. Maybe it was the sudden reappearance of 90s rock music around the house, but Y/N swore there were a handful of times she saw a familiar mop of brown hair lurking around the Molina household. But, of course, that wasn’t possible. She smiled sadly to herself whenever she thought she saw him. He was always on her mind.

Julie had told Y/N about her performance at the open mic night days in advance. Though it was strange, she suddenly mentioned being in a band but refused to say who was in it with her. And it seemed harder for Julie to explain to Ray than to her. Nonetheless, Julie was growing to be more like Rose every day. 

Y/N watched Julie make her way to the stage and begin the song. She reminded Y/N of Rose so much. Suddenly there was a flash and Julie was not the only one on the stage.  Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat when she saw a familiar group of musicians suddenly surrounding Julie. Her eyes stayed glued to the lead guitarist, her hands finding the black bracelet on her wrist to mindlessly fidget with, the bracelet that was an exact copy of the one on his own wrist.