#jay fic rec

[sungchanphile]

where do broken hearts go » park jongseong

🏁 WORD COUNT: 18.7k

🏁  PAIRING: enhypen's park jongseong / jay x female!reader

🏁 TAGS & WARNINGS: f1!au, enemies to lovers!au, fluff, angst, lots of profanity, they are so mean to each other, p1h intak as a plot device, they both have minor daddy issues basically, there's very very little actual racing in this! sorry:3

🏁 SYNOPSIS: your hatred for jongseong runs deep and it's mutual. yet you're stuck travelling around the world together, condemned to seeing each other every race and beyond. the 2025 season brings you new experiences and as everyone knows, the line between love and hate is very, very, very thin.

˖᯽ ݁˖· ─ NOTES: i've been teasing this for a while so i hope you enjoy<3 jay and i sharing the same interest/hyperfixation atm makes me sooo happy and i love seeing him fanboy the same way we do about them! since wtl, i've had such an intense jay-rot and i was soooooooo lucky to have had a moment with jay at send off and get his signature too! pls enjoy and also i have no clue why i made everyone a driver apart from jake sorry jake. also the formatting might be a bit weird but i wanted to get it out for yall even on my phone bc im leaving without my laptop for a week so its also currently unedited!!!!

🏎️𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪

ROUND 03 - SUZUKA // 04-06 APRIL 2025

You've never known a life or a reality where you didn't hate Park Jonseong.

Hate is a strong word, but it was the only one you could articulate at the age of 5 every time your parents would mention that he was coming over for a play date or that you were seeing him for lunch. Your parents never took you seriously of course, thinking it was just silly kiddie fights, but over the years, your feelings for each other just intensified into a big, burning ball of loathing.

You're 22 now and they've learned to just ignore your feud and leave you to deal with it.

It all started when Park Jongseong began pulling on your pigtails in the playground and pushed ahead of you to use the swings and playground equipment when you were 5. Then, he stole and broke your favourite barbie doll when you were 7. After that, he 'accidentally' dropped your favourite colouring book into the lake on a family vacation at 10.

Worst of all, he crashed into your kart so hard at the age of 13 that you had to go to hospital for a broken arm. That was the last time you ever stepped foot inside a race car- the day your world crumbled around you at the hands of one Park Jongseong.

You know he did it on purpose too because he's here, in front of you, as an F1 driver - seen as one of the 20 most talented racing car drivers at present time.

If anyone asks you though, there's no one in the world that deserves it less than Park Jongseong- the son of the CEO of Belift Racing.

"Y/N, stop glaring at him. There's hella cameras and fans everywhere," your colleague and best friend Jungwon hisses beside you as you walk through the paddock.

"Sorry, but he looks extra insufferable today," you sigh and roll your eyes, focusing on the walk ahead instead of Park Jongseong filming content for his team a few meters beside you.

"You mean he looks extra good? Are you into leather jackets?" Jungwon snorts. You direct your piercing glare at him instead, bumping your shoulders together.

"He's so pretentious. Why can't he just wear his team's merch and get on with it?" you grumble in annoyance, thinking about his flashy outfits and the sunglasses permanently stuck on his face no matter the weather or season.

"You didn't have a problem when Heeseung was in his fashion era," Jungwon counters with a teasing tone.

"That's cause Heeseung is actually attractive and he's not attention seeking like Jongseong is."

Heeseung was one of the drivers of the team you worked for, Mercedes. The two of you used to fool around a few years back before either of you joined the team, but it was all in the past and you remain good friends.

"I know you hate it when I talk about you and Mr Belift over there, so I will keep my mouth shut, today," Jungwon's voice lilts at the end of his sentence, when he throws a look over his shoulder, "Wait, he's coming this way actually."

You preemptively groan and begin speed-walking, but Jongseong's lightning fast feet catch up to you, "Y/N."

"What do you want, Jongseong?" you refuse to even turn your head to look at him, making him have to shuffle to get in front of you.

"My dad says you have to come with me on the jet back to Seattle for your dad's birthday party," he says matter-of-factly.

"Okay? Yeah, I know. Why are you wasting my time telling me this?" your words are drawled out, exhausted of this conversation already.

He tugs on his leather jacket, face twisting in frustration, "I was just gonna tell you to wait at Mercedes hospitality and I'll send Jake to come and get you when we're ready. Why are you such a bitch all the time? Must be exhausting to have a stick up your ass twenty-four seven."

"I don't need this from you right now, Jongseong. Just leave me alone," you grit out.

He runs a hand through his flowing hair, "What I'd do to leave you here instead. Not like I wanna spend 9 hours on the jet with you either."

"Then leave me here. I can find my own way to Seattle," you snap quietly, keeping your eyes peeled in case anyone came too close.

"God, you're insufferable," he groans, "Whatever, just wait for Jake after the race."

Beside you, Jungwon pips up, "Good luck for the race Jay."

Turning to your companion, you could see the tension leave Jay's being, "Thank you Jungwon. Nice to know Mercedes has some well-adjusted staff."

"Oh, fuck off Park."

"Just for that, I'm gonna crash into your driver at turn 1," he flips the sunglasses that he had pushed up to his head back over his eyes and you know he's glaring at you through the tints.

You know he's kidding. Park Sunghoon was one of his best friends on the grid and the driver who you mainly worked for, but Jay has a way of getting under your skin.

Before you could say anything, he turns away to start practically skipping to the Belift garage. Beside Jungwon, you're seething quietly, annoyed that Park Jongseong had the final word.

🏎️𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪

You definitely don't hold the same disdain for Jake as you do for his boss. As Jay's personal assistant slash travelling companion, you certainly feel bad for the Aussie with the big smile. You can't help but feel a little endeared whenever you're around him, but you know to keep your guard up because after all, his loyalty lies with your enemy.

"How was the race for you guys?" Jake's walking beside you with his hands in his pockets, having just collected you from Mercedes' hospitality when Jay's post-race meeting was finishing.

"I mean, Heeseung won and Sunghoon came 4th so that's positives for the team. Suzuka is always a good track for us," you recount, "Our meeting wasn't too long because the TP had to run and it was overall a good race."

"So good for Sunghoon to get to 4th from 8th! I bet it was all your doing," he says kindly.

You chuckle dismissively, "Nah, y'know it's the whole team."

You were a trackside data analyst and strategist for Mercedes, mainly working with Sunghoon, who was on his second season with the team. It was hard, fast-paced work but you couldn't imagine doing anything else at all.

Even when Park Jongseong crushed little you's dream of being a racer and obliterated your confidence to get back into a race car, you knew your life would still revolve around motorsports. How could it not when your dad was a 2 time world champion with McLaren and your mother was a motorsports journalist?

"Hopefully Jay is all done now. You need to get your bags from your hotel, right?" you nod at him, "Okay, we'll stop there on the way to the jet."

You sit in silence in the back of a blacked-out SUV with Jake. Jay's occupying the passenger seat, head tilted back with his sunglasses covering his tired eyes.

He hasn't said a word to you at all ever since you met with him at the paddock exit. Jay simply got in the car already waiting for you and asked the driver to go to your hotel. It's a bit tense, but you prefer the silence over the fights.

Check out is a breeze, having already packed your things before you left for race-day and then only having to drop your key-card at reception. The bell-boy helps you load it into the car after you refused the help of Jake, who had fallen into a short nap between the track and the hotel.

It was a lengthier drive to tarmac, which you spent checking your work apps and emails, as well as updating your family that yes, you did willingly get into a car with Jay and yes, you were on your way to Seattle.

When the car cruises to a stop, the sky outside is already darkening- you must've missed sunset scrolling on your phone. The chauffeur hauls your bags out of the boot and Jay begins walking to the entrance wordlessly.

"I'll see you next race," Jake hums beside you.

Your head whips to his direction, "What? Are you not coming on the jet with us?"

"Nah, I'm going to Australia for a little bit. It's your dad's birthday, not Jay's, so I have no place there," he explains softly.

You begin to shake your head in panic, your eyes following the stoic man walking in front of you, "Noooo, Jake! You're invited! Please! You can't leave me alone on the jet with him."

The Aussie chortles quietly, "I knew this was gonna be a problem. But really, you guys will be fine. Just ignore each other and sleep."

"Jake, I can't believe this. When's the next commercial flight to Seattle? I'll just take that one."

"We're the opposite way from the commercial airport. I'm hopping on a jet with the Australian drivers," Jake's full on laughing at your distress at this point, "It'll be fine."

You fold your arms over your chest and humph, "Well then it's gonna be your fault when the jet lands in Seattle and I've strangled Jay to death because he's pissed me off."

"Likely scenario, but I'll take my chances," Jake presses his lips into a smile, "Chris is waving me over, so I gotta go. Bye Y/N!"

Jake runs up to his best friend/boss to say goodbye before dashing across the small airport to a small group of people you recognised as some of the Australian drivers and reserves. There wasn't that much time off between Suzuka and Bahrain, but being on this side of the world, it was an opportunity for them to go home with a shorter flight.

It wasn't very time-efficient for you to jet off to Seattle when you had to fly nearly all the way back in just a few days, but your dad was throwing a big birthday party, as he does every year. Even with your demanding job, you're certainly not excused from coming.

As you turn back from watching Jake shoot off in the distance, you find Jay watching you with a pulled, impatient expression, "Hurry up. I don't have all the time in the world to wait for you."

"It's a fucking private jet. It won't leave without you," you mutter under your breath as you catch up to him.

Jay ignores your comment thankfully and proceeds to hand over his documents and check his bags in. You don't get the luxury of flying private very often, so it always astounds you how easy and quick the process is to get you onto the jet.

There's multiple seating areas and sections to the Park jet and Jay beelines straight to the bedroom, only stopping at the door to leave you one final word.

"If you need anything," he pauses, "Don't."

He disappears behind the pocket door and the flight attendant gives you a sheepish smile, seemingly used to his frosty, grumpy demeanour.

You don't say anything for once. With the exhaustion on his face, you'll let him have it this time.

🏎️𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪

Your dad is partial to a fancy party centred all about him. He's the life of the party- the main man. He doesn't throw these parties every year; most of the time, he's a guest pundit at a race around this time, but he decided to take his birthday off to celebrate properly.

Your mother is nearly the opposite of your dad- more reserved and introverted in large social situations- but they completely balance each other out. That's why you think relationships only work if one can make up for the things the other lacks and vice versa.

There's more than a few ex-drivers present at the birthday party. Namely, Jay's dad- your dad's McLaren teammate of a mere 1 year- along with his whole family.

"Y/N, looking beautiful as ever. Congratulations on the win and the 4th place," his dad kisses both of your cheeks gracefully, as well as his mother.

"Thank you, CEO Park," you reply, "Belift did a great job on pit stops this weekend!"

"Does it hurt you to compliment me, even if it's fake?" Jay muttered under his breath beside his parents, all suited up and prim.

His dad shoots him a tired look and sighs, "I trust you two are taking care of each other at the races? I haven't been able to attend as many as I want to this year because it's getting busy at the company."

You fake smile, "Of course! You know me and Jongseong- best of friends."

His parents know you're being sarcastic; the whole world does. But they like to do this song and dance with you every time in hopes their insistence will spark the two of you to make up one day.

Over your dead body- sorry CEO Park. Never gonna happen.

"Let's continue this chat at the table," his mother guides you to the centre table reserved for your family and his.

The downside to your fathers being former teammates and longtime friends was that whatever event your family threw, the Parks were there and vice versa. It was bad enough you had to see and deal with Jay every race weekend, but you also have to endure his presence in your personal life. There was no escaping him and that just fuelled your fire more; why couldn't you have any peace from him?

His name card is situated beside yours on table so he sits down and immediately faces his body away from you.

When your father makes his birthday speech and you all sit down for your bajillion course dinner, your dad is instantly interviewing Jay- the son he wished he had.

"How was Suzuka for you, Jay?"

"The 7th was really disappointing after a podium in China," Jay admits, "I just got caught up in traffic a lot and of course, Mercedes was really quick on the track."

Your dad glosses over his subtle praise for you and your team, "No sweat Jay. Fresh start for this weekend. How are you getting on with your rookie teammate? What's his name?"

"Oh, Riki. Yeah, he's rapid. He's doing great so far," Jay praises instantly. The Japanese driver was definitely becoming a fast friend of his, "He did well for his home race. In the points!"

They continue talking about the upcoming race between them while you push your food around on the plate. Since you were young, you've always known that your dad would have loved a son racing in F1 to continue his legacy.

Alas, you were an only child.

You knew he loved you; he never made you feel different, but you always just knew. Even after you stopped karting, he'd go to all of Jay's big karting events around the world and supported him in each class up until he got his rookie seat at Williams before his dad founded his current team.

Sure, you still worked in the industry and yes, it was with one of the most successful teams in the sport, but deep down, you knew he would've loved for you to be a driver. That's why he put you into karting at an early age, even when it seemed like women had little chance or roles in the sport.

Your mother places a hand on your arm and rubs affectionately, "Are you okay darling? Are you staying over at the house tonight?"

You sigh tiredly, "I think we have to catch the jet straight to Bahrain. I don't want to miss anything."

"Oh, you work so hard. Make sure you get a lot of sleep on the jet, okay?"

You smile tightly and try and focus on your food as you listen to your dad investigate enthusiastically into Jay in a way he doesn't do much with you.

By the time that the party is finished and you've exhausted yourself mingling with your parents' acquaintances, you're so tired that you can barely even speak nor muster a single facial expression other than sheer despair.

Jay drives the two of you silently to the small airport in his favourite Ferrari that he only gets to drive when he's home in Seattle. The jet is waiting for you on the tarmac, a bright white figure against the lit-up dark field.

You go to sit in the same seat as you did just a couple of days ago, but Jay utters behind you, "You can take the bedroom. I'm not tired and I have some work to do."

"It's fine, Jongseong."

He places his bag firmly on the reclining chair you were about to occupy, "There's no table in there and I need to work on my laptop. I don't want you snoring in here so go there."

Your face pulls into subtle annoyance, but you just shrug and continue through into the back cabin, where a double bed equipped with seat belts is made up for you.

"You're welcome!" he calls behind you for you to ignore.

The feeling of Jay doing something semi-nice for you makes your skin crawl. You know he's lying; he almost fell asleep standing up waiting for the valet to bring his car around.

You'll just have to wait to see what he wants in return because that was the thing with you and Jay; it was always give, then take.

🏎️𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪

ROUND 05 - JEDDAH // 18-20 APRIL 2025

Dating was something you never prioritised or gave much thought to. It was just something that happened; you neither tried to bother yourself much with it nor avoid it.

You went on a few first dates in your early years of university, but nothing ever came to fruition and over the years, your life has just become busier and busier and there wasn't really a place you could call home for an extended period of time.

Even when you fooled around with Heeseung, it didn't last very long and there wasn't really anything romantic about it. Sure, he was a nice guy and he was good company, but you never wanted to date him.

Sometimes, you think about asking to stay at HQ in England- maybe that would give you stability to date. But you loved to be trackside and you loved to travel the world.

You didn't really have many friends in the paddock either. Your closest friend was Jungwon and you were friendly with your drivers and your team, but that was about it.

So it came as a surprise to you when McLaren's Hwang Intak cornered you near Mercedes hospitality in Jeddah on the Friday, asking if he could get your number"

"Are you gonna go on a date with him?" Jungwon's eyes widen in shock when you recount this story to him later on.

"I don't know. He asked if I wanted to have dinner in Miami with him in two weeks. That's probably a long enough time to text and get to know each other to see if there's even something," you hum.

Jungwon wriggles his eyebrows, "So you're interested?"

"I'm not not interested. He's super cute," you roll your eyes, "I just don't know if there's any conflicts of interest there too. I don't think Mercedes would be very happy with me dating a driver who's not on the team."

"Yeah, true. As much as you would want to keep your personal and work life separate, it's hard if he's a driver," Jungwon considers, "Ha, maybe they'll sign him for next year."

"Hey, don't say that! Hee and Hoon are perfect for Mercedes," you frown, even though you know he's joking. You're proud of the team you've developed in and you couldn't imagine anyone else.

"This is just a random question, but I don't know- say Intak was actually the love of your life, your soulmate and Mercedes didn't agree with it- would you ever quit?" he ponders out loud, "Or move teams?"

You instinctively go to say no, but then you pause, "I wouldn't want to. But maybe something or someone could change my mind. You never know what can happen in your life. I always thought I was gonna be the first female driver in F1, but alas, we're here. I hope it would never have to come to that, though."

"I wish I could see you drive," Jungwon pouts, "You won't even go go-karting with me!"

"Well, you have Park Jongseong to thank for that," you humph bitterly.

"Oh here we goooo," Jungwon rolls his eyes at the mention of your sworn enemy, "It's been a decade and you've had tons of therapy. What's stopping you?"

"The thought of getting into a kart and being shit. Knowing that I could never achieve my childhood dream," you list off stoically, "There's no point."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Y/N," he smiles in sympathy, "C'mon, let's go get food."

The two of you make your way over to hospitality from the garage. It was in between the free practices, so the paddock was busy.

"How does he even know who I am?" you query suddenly.

"To be fair, we talk with Sunoo a lot. So he's probably seen you around multiple times," Jungwon mentions Intak's McLaren teammate, who is also one of Jungwon's closest friends on the paddock, having worked together at Alpine before they both moved teams, "And in case you forgot, you're the daughter of a McLaren legend."

"Oh. Yeah," you deflate at the thought that people know of you just because of your father, "I hope he's not just trying to meet my dad or something."

"Bro, your dad's been around at the races for years. If a McLaren driver hasn't met him yet, that would be weirder. He's into you because you're pretty, Y/N," Jungwon deadpans.

You nudge at his side, "Aw, Jungwon-ie. You're soo cute."

A cough and a bump between the two of you stops you in your tracks, "Who's into Y/N? A lunatic?"

"None of your fucking business, Jongseong," you know his voice before you even see him squeezing himself between you and your best friend.

"Of course it is! I have to know who I have to warn before they have to deal with the real you," he smirks maliciously, "Who's it?"

Before you can signal to Jungwon to keep his mouth shut, the younger boy pipes up in amusement, "Intak."

"Jungwon! What the fuck!" you hiss.

Jay grimaces, "Poor unfortunate soul. He had a small crash in Bahrain- maybe his head wasn't screwed back on right?"

His words make your inside light aflame, seething with anger, "Do you have to insert yourself into everything in my life? What's it to you if another driver is interested in me? Can you just leave me alone?"

Jay visibly recoils at your animosity, "Jeez, Y/N. I'm just kidding. I don't give a shit if you date Intak or whoever."

"Clearly you fucking do. And I do not give a shit about you enough to care why," you spit, looping your arms with Jungwon ready to drag him away, "Just fuck off, Jongseong."

🏎️𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪

You're not surprised your father has found time to make it for race day in Jeddah. After all, it's Jay's birthday and he wouldn't miss that for the world.

The pass around his neck isn't even from his former team- the one he brought glory to. It's neither from the team his very daughter works for. Mercedes gives out passes to family often, so that wouldn't be unusual.

Instead, it's from Belift. His favourite child's team  of course.

Your dad doesn't even bother to say hello to you before the race starts, only sending out a text saying he was at the Belift garage, just in case you saw him first on the TV without having heard from him. It's nice of him to update his daughter on the day, despite arranging this with Jay weeks and weeks ago.

It makes you all the more resentful as you watch Jay cruise around the track in second. It's the best he's done in a while and of course he has to perform well when your dad's here.

After the race, you find yourself in a private dinner room with your dad, Jay's parents and Jake, his best friend.

You converse minimally with Jake, who always tries his best to engage with you in situations where you feel sidelined.

"Anyway, yeah, Layla is doing great. I miss her all the time when we're away at races," Jake is showing you pictures of his precious border collie on his phone over creamy pasta.

"I wish I could get a pet! But we travel way too much!" you pout.

"Oh! Remember when you and Jay rescued that kitten on the side of the road when you were 14?" your dad claps in remembrance, "And you two were fighting so hard over who would take care of it that the kitten went back and forth between our houses until we had to rehome it?"

"I found the kitten, so it was mine," you remember the three weeks that you had to see Jay every day for the sake of a tiny creature.

Jay scoffs, "I was the one who got it out of the bush that had nettles!"

"Aw, you two could adopt a little dog and take it with you to races and co-parent it! Doesn't that sound sweet?" his mother coos at you.

You and Jay mirror each other's expression of disgust. Jay humphs in her direction, "Why would I willingly co-parent with her?"

"You two basically have the same schedule. It works," she shrugs.

"And maybe a dog is what you need to fix this little-" his dad trails off as he gestures between you and his son.

"We have nothing to fix," Jay coughs out, "And this conversation is ridiculous."

Jake smiles at you sheepishly at how this conversation divulged away from his cute dog to your personal life.

Your dad directs his attention to Jay, "So, Jay. 23 now. What's your goals for this year?"

Jay hums pensively, "Podium consistently, maybe win a few races. Other than that, not much else going on with me."

"Oh, come on son! Dream bigger! You can definitely compete against Mercedes this year; you're very strong and your team is very good," you try to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach as your dad spurs on the current rival to your team. It's almost insulting how he talks about your team.

You almost miss the way Jay's eyes flicker over at you, "It's early days, but I'll always try my best. The competition is very strong this year."

"Y'know, Y/N, have you ever thought about going over to Belift?" your dad finally addresses you, "Wouldn't it be lovely to have you two working together?"

CEO Park hums in delight, "We've been trying to poach Y/N for years, but she's happy where she is and she's doing great over there."

You don't even know how your dad could look at you and Jay and think that you could work well together. Even a blind person would be able to sense that the combination of the two of you only spells disaster.

"I'm happy at Mercedes," you say quietly, looking down at your food to avoid the disappointed frown etched on your dad's face.

🏎️𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪

ROUND 06 - MIAMI // 02-04 MAY 2025

Miami's sunshine does wonders for your state of mind. One of your favourite traditions is to walk along the oceanfront to clear your mind for the weekend ahead.

It's different this year with Intak walking beside you.

He's got his hands in his pockets and he's carrying your bag on his shoulder as he talks about his childhood and his family.

"What about you, though? What was your childhood like? Are you close to your parents?" he asks curiously, cautiously.

You chuckle, "It's not taboo to ask me about my dad, y'know."

"Hey," he nudges, "Trust me, I don't wanna know and talk about your dad. I want to get to know you."

His statement takes you back in surprise, so you smile appreciatively, "My dad was definitely busy growing up, but he wasn't absent. In my school breaks, when I was a bit older, he would take me to the races around the world if he was doing something there. He had already retired by the time I was conscious, but he put me in karting from a very young age."

"Oh, you karted? Do you still?"

Your stomach sinks. Every time someone asks you this, you're transported back to the memory of freshly teenage you, in the wall, with your arm twisted and broken in the cockpit, "Not anymore. Besides, I have other things to focus on now to do with cars. It's what I love and studied for."

Intak sighs dreamily, "I wish I got to go to college - to meet people and experience the world in a different way. I've been racing cars since I was young and it's all I've ever known."

"I don't think I made the most of my experience there though. I was spending my breaks interning with different teams at all different levels and when I wasn't, I was in the library making sure I graduated top so I could get hired by an F1 team straight out of college," you tell him regretfully.

"Sunoo tells me you're crazy smart. I really admire that," Intak flirts, "Very beautiful and very smart."

You blush at his compliment, "Thank you Intak. You aren't too bad yourself."

He laughs melodiously, "Aren't too bad? Is that all I get?"

"I don't want to inflate your ego before I know how big it is!" you defend jokingly, "But yes, you are very handsome, Intak. You're like the number one heartthrob of the paddock!"

He scoffs, "I wouldn't go that far. Y'know who gets all the girls' attention? Jay Park."

You fight the urge to visible grimace at his name, "Really? I don't see that."

If he's mentioning Jay so casually like this, Sunoo must not have told him about your distaste for each other. It's something you want to keep under wraps anyway; it doesn't reflect well on either of you for the whole paddock to know you don't like each other.

"You two must have known each other from childhood, right? Your dads were teammates for a year or something at McLaren," Intak recounts, "Is he someone I need to get the approval of? And get in his good graces?"

"Hell no," you say too quickly before you reel yourself back in, "We're not close. At all. Don't worry about that. Though, you're probably gonna have to befriend Jungwon. Do you know him?"

"Of him. I see you both with Sunoo sometimes. He's a strategist with Mercedes too, right? You must both be geniuses!" Intak exclaims, "We should all get dinner one night. Maybe in Monaco?"

"Yeah, of course! I actually don't live in Monaco; I live in England near HQ," you tell him, "But I visit in the breaks sometimes to hang out with the drivers, so I'll let you know when I'm next there!"

Intak grins, "Well, you have one more excuse to come to Monaco then!"

The conversation flows easily between the two of you with the Miami sun dipping below the skyline and the sky painting a soft, darkening navy. You let Intak chauffeur you to your hotel and don't refuse when he insists on walking you just to the elevator of the hotel to make sure you were safe.

"I'd invite you to a drink at the bar, but you have qualifying tomorrow," you gesture to the increasingly busy hotel bar.

"I wish I could take you up on that," he groans and then winks, "Next time, yeah?"

You approach the elevator and turn to say goodbye, "I had a really great time tonight, Intak, seriously. Thank you."

"No, thank you for saying yes to coming out with me! I probably will not see you around tomorrow, but good luck to your team. Go easy on me, yeah?"

You stifle a laugh, "Never, but good luck."

Intak moves to lean in for a hug, but you hear a cough behind you and a stern call out of your name, "Y/N."

You dread turning around, "You've got to be fucking kidding."

Jay appears at your side, his face drawn in a tight, unreadable expression as he stares at Intak unmovingly, "Intak. Hello."

"Jay? Hi?" it comes out as a question as Intak looks between the two of you, "What are you doing here? Were you waiting for Y/N?"

He ignores the driver and turns to you, "At dinner, your dad said he couldn't reach you so I was sent to make sure you got back."

"Are you joking? I'm 23. My mother knew what I was doing tonight," you grit out through your teeth, turning to reassure Intak with a shaky smile, "Well now you know I'm here, you can tell my parents and leave."

"I have some matters to speak with you about," he straightens up and side-eyes your date, "Goodnight Intak. See you at the track tomorrow."

Intak's eyes flitter between you again as he nods slowly, "Um, okay. Goodnight. Thanks again, Y/N."

You resist the urge to curse out Jay in front of him as you try and remain composed, "Bye!"

When you turn around, Jay is already standing at the entrance of the open lift, blocking it from closing, with his arms folded over his chest.

"I'm not getting into that lift with you," you begin slowly, "In fact, it's better if you just leave right now without another word because I swear to God-"

Jay scoffs, "I'm not scared of you, Y/N. Get in the lift."

"You're fucking crazy," you spit venomously, turning on your heel to march towards the set of stairs. You don't hear his footsteps behind you, so you hope he leaves.

While you stomp up 7 flights of stairs, your body begins to seethe so hard you're probably smoking. How dare Jay show up at the end of your date? Since when would your parents ever care about who you were with and what you were doing when the sun had barely set?

You're convinced Jay is dead-set on ruining your life. You are sure of it.

You try breathing exercises to calm yourself down on the way up, despite quickly becoming lethargic. You think happy thoughts. You think of kittens and puppies and maybe the joy it would bring you to strangle your enemy lifeless. 

The calm you mustered up just sizzles into the air as your hotel room door comes into view, adorned with one Park Jongseong leaning on it with a smirk.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" you cry out, pushing at his shoulder. He doesn't budge.

"Be quiet. We're in public," Jay mutters, "Open the door."

"If you think I'm gonna let you in, you're fucking crazy," you counter, trying to move him away from the door with your body. He shuffles back a bit, but his face remains stoic, "Jongseong, I'm serious."

"And I said I have something to say to you," Jay cocks his head, almost finding this amusing.

"Whatever you want to say, not that I care, you can say it here," you tell him firmly.

Jay rolls his eyes and in one quick motion, swipes the hotel key card out of your palm and places it on the reader. You yelp in both shock and anger, grabbing at his shirt to try and pull him away from the door.

He yanks himself into the room despite your hold and manages to get you far enough in for the door to swing shut behind you with a melodic beep.

In one fell swoop, he turns and grabs your arm that was still clutching onto his clothing, "You wanna get physical Princess?"

"Don't fucking call me that," you hiss, "How dare you show up at my hotel? My parents don't give two shits about what I do. How do you even know my room? How do you even know when I was coming back?"

He shrugs nonchalantly, "I have my sources."

"Jongseong, I'm being serious. You need to leave," you utter, curling your fists into a ball.

"Why are you getting so heated? Do you like Intak that much? If he likes you as much, my presence means nothing," Jay leans against the wardrobe, surveying your picture-perfect tidy room.

"Why do you have you have to insert yourself so much into my life?" you echo your unanswered words from Jeddah, "Do you hate the idea of me being happy so much that you have to ruin everything before it even starts? Can I not have anything for myself?"

Jay's face contorts into a frown, "No, what the fuck? That's not what I-"

Your lips begin to wobble and your voice begins to quiver, "Jay, I have no idea what you want from me. What the fuck do you want from me?"

Stressed, Jay starts running his hands through his hair, "Fuck, Y/N. Don't cry. I just-"

"You just what?" you taunt.

He bursts out, raising his voice as he throws his hands up, "I just wanted to make sure you got back safe, okay? Intak's a fucking stranger to you and who knows what he could have tried."

You start to laugh maniacally, in complete disbelief, "You- out of all people- don't get to prentend like you care. I don't know what you're plotting or whatever manipulation tactic this is, but seriously, Jay. You're unbelievable."

"I'm not pretending to care, Y/N. We hate each other, but like my dad said, I have a duty to look out for you away from home," Jay's avoiding your eyes as he looks around, "And I've heard Intak's a player."

You scoff, "Well thanks, but no thanks. I'm an adult who can make her own decisions without you needing to butt in unsolicited. Why do you care if Intak is a player? Let me live my own life. I can do whatever I want with my life without asking you. I can date or sleep with or befriend whoever I want and I have never, ever given you a signal to make you think you deserve an opinion."

"I don't know why I care, Y/N," he says your name desperately, "I don't want you to get hurt. I feel like I have a duty to protect you."

You shriek in incredulity, "You're a comedian, Jay. Is it because you have a claim over being the only one allowed to hurt me? We all know you're good at that. The only person I need protection from is you."

Jay writhes in discomfort, "Stop calling me that!"

"Calling you what? Isn't that your name?" you bark.

"Jongseong," he huffs defeatedly, "You call me Jongseong."

Your mouth opens to say something and then shuts as you're struck dumbfounded. He's breathing heavily in front of you, just a feet away at this point of this heated conversation. He's fidgeting with the sleeves of his button up shirt as he tries to avoid your piercing, deadly gaze.

The anger settles into the cracks of your bones, like it tends to do when he's around. It's a permanent loathing, etched into the very being of your soul.

"Y'know, Jay, if you put as much effort into your driving as you do manipulating me and ruining my life, you'd be a World Champion by now," you say lowly, quietly, as the tension falls between you and wraps around your bodies.

Jay's head snaps up, "Don't fucking talk about my driving."

You know you've hit a nerve and it makes you feel.... satisfied.

"Why not? That's all you are to me. You're nothing else other than an F1 driver who I hate," you sneer, "And I don't want to see your face for the rest of this weekend, seriously. Get the fuck out of my room, Jay."

🏎️𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪

ROUND 08 - MONACO // 23-25 MAY 2025

Many F1 drivers call the luxury city-state of Monaco home. What was there to not love about it? Monaco was safe, beautiful and allows drivers to keep more of the money they make for themselves.

In between races and the longer gaps since you started working for Formula 1, you've frequented Monaco. Most of the time, it's to hang out with your drivers Heeseung and Sunghoon, who quickly became your friends after years working together.

Not to mention, you like to visit the country for nostalgic purposes. While your parents now reside in Seattle, you were born in Monaco when your parents were living there in the twilight years of your dad's racing career. Your father still owns the apartment he once lived in between his races, so you always have somewhere to stay when you're in the Principality.

Too bad it's across the hall from the other penthouse in the building, owned by none other than the Park family.

On the Saturday before the Monaco Grand Prix race, you're locking up your apartment to head to the paddock to start work when you hear a cough behind you.

You exhale deeply, already knowing what was coming.

"Why weren't you at Imola?" Jay interrogates instantly as he shuts his apartment door.

"Don't you have other things to care about today other than my absence at one race?" you mutter under your breath, not even turning around to face him and instead going straight to the elevator.

"Were you sick?" he questions incessantly two steps behind you, "Did you go on holiday?"

"How did you even know I wasn't there?"

"I saw Jungwon walking alone and he wouldn't tell me where you were other than the fact you weren't there," Jay says matter-of-factly, stepping into the confined space with you, "You weren't in Seattle either. You dropped off the face of the earth for three weeks."

"Why, missed me?" you taunt, voice still flat.

"Y/N," he says your name sternly, "Is it because of Miami?"

You swallow hard, "Cute of you to think you impact me that much."

Lie.

Of course it was because of Miami. Of course it was because of the way your fight had turned your world upside down and scrambled your head.

Of course you were impacted by the way his face looked when he told you to call him Jongseong instead of Jay, like it was a name reserved for use by you.

You carry on, "I just wanted to take some time for myself, jeez. I was just at home in England."

Silence falls between you, thick and palpable as Jay ponders on his next words, knowing he's about to regret them, but he says them anyway, "Are you still seeing Intak?"

"It's none of your business," you snap quickly.

He doesn't say anything more, letting you walk out ahead of him from the elevator.

"You can come with me to the Paddock," he utters as you reach the front of the building, where his fancy Porsche was waiting for him expectantly.

"I can make my own way."

"Fuck, stop being stubborn," he stresses, "How are you gonna take public transport? It's going to take forever for you to get to the paddock and I have special access."

You weigh up your options- try and navigate the mostly unfamiliar roads on a busy race weekend, risking being late, or being stuck in a car with Jay but getting there quickly.

Jay walks around to the passenger side door, tugging it open as you watch the door slide up instead of out. Even with your racer dad, you'll never get used to fancy sports cars.

"Just get in, Y/N."

You drive in marked silence up until you get closer and closer to the paddock and the road gets narrower from the people crowding the streets.

"Fuck, Jay. I'm gonna be photographed coming out of your car. There's so many people," you curse.

"So?"

"So?" you mock, "I don't want people to think we're together! That would be terrible for me."

"If anyone asks, I'll just say we're neighbours and I gave you a lift because of all the traffic restrictions. It's really not that deep," he says, "No one's gonna ask."

You roll your eyes in disbelief, "Yeah, no one's gonna ask why a Mercedes analyst is coming out of a Belift driver's car."

"You do know that your dad posts on his social medias pictures of our families at dinner, right?"

"Yeah, but that's dinner with other people, not us alone," you counter.

"Is that such a bad thing?" he mutters.

You choose to ignore him in exchange for eyeing the crowd you were approaching. There were security guards posted near the valet area, waiting to escort Jay through to the paddock entrance, and now you too.

There's a very small handful of people who actually recognise you in real life. A lot have heard about the daughter of a McLaren legend working in the paddock, but very little could commit your face to memory since you weren't plastered on TV like the drivers are. In all of your career with Mercedes, you've only been stopped in the paddock by a McLaren fan twice and they were mainly asking about your dad.

Jay's car rolls to a slow stop and he motions for you to get out at the same time as him. Thankfully, all the commotion moves around to his side of the car, so you quickly shuffle over as fast as you can to the paddock turnstiles only a few steps away.

"No way, that's Y/N Y/L/N!" you're almost at the turnstiles when you are recognised for the third time in your F1 career, "Oh my, she just got out the car with Jay! Is he going to Mercedes?"

You swear under your breath as you feel a crowd surge behind you. You slip the pass out of your pocket and practically launch it at the reader, pushing with your body through the metal. On the other side, there's tens of photographers, lenses up already and waiting for a sighting of anyone important, but they're snapping away already because Jay had made it through behind you too.

"Y/N, wait up," you hear him call.

Instead, you keep your head down and tuck your bag tighter to your shoulder in comfort.

When you get to the Mercedes garage, Jungwon is awaiting you with a coffee, a pastry and a disappointed but concerned look.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Jungwon nibbles on his lips as he contemplates his words, "You need to sort out whatever is going on with you and Jay. You had to take last race off and I can't lie... he's not been doing so good on the track either. He had a small crash in Imola."

You scoff, "What's his shit driving got to do with me?"

Jungwon glares up at you through his eyelashes, "Y/N. You know that's not like Jay. Now sit your ass down and get to work."

🏎️𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪

When the stress of qualifying day finally wraps up and your endless post-session meetings finish, you take a long stroll home to your family's apartment. Monaco is a safe city at night and during the race weekend, it seemed like the small city never sleeps with the endless tourists wandering by the docks and the casino.

Jungwon offered to walk you home and maybe have dinner with you, but the exhaustion reflected on his face had you sending him back to his hotel on the very first taxi he could catch with some of the other team members.

You were starving by the time you reached your apartment building, already dreading the fridge you were about to open to find it empty. That was a downside to your Monaco apartment - it was always so empty and cold.

But when you got out of the elevator, you were faced with Jay leaning casually against his front door, a few white plastic bags at his feet.

"Did you get locked out of your own apartment?" you scoff in amusement, rummaging around your bag for your keys.

Jay stands alert when you announce your presence, after picking up the bags at his feet, "I was waiting for you to come back. Have you eaten dinner?"

You look at him like he's grown ten heads, "Why do you care?"

He rolls his eyes and holds up the bags, "I ordered too much. Let's eat it in your apartment."

You'd opened the door at this point, but move your body to block him from going inside, "What game are you trying to play with me, Jay? It's unnerving and I want no part in it."

Jay purses his lips, contemplating his words, "It's just dinner. We've done a thousand dinners together in our lifetime. No one's home to share it with me."

He gently pushes his shoulder against yours to move past you, and you weakly give in from the smell of the food. You recognise it instantly- your favourite restaurant in Monaco that does takeaway.

Jay floats around your kitchen like he owns it. To be fair, he's probably been here more than you have considering he has a key as your mum asks him to water the plants sometimes. You tell her this request is ridiculous considering you have a housekeeper in Monaco who comes by frequently, but your mother insists on giving Jay the job - even when he wasn't in Monaco half the year.

You take a seat at the kitchen island with your stomach rumbling so hard you're sure Jay's hearing it. You know he'll comment on it later too, but at present, he's too focused decanting the food onto your fine china plates and plating them up well. Apparently, according to his parents, Jay was a pretty proficient cook, but hell would freeze over before you'd try sometime homemade from Jay. He would probably poison it.

It's weird to exist in this kitchen with Jay. It's so quiet, apart from the clattering of the cutlery onto the ceramics and the rustling of the plastic bags. He's not fighting with you- he's not even looking at you!

Instead, his face is poked into a concentrated expression, a line appearing between his eyebrows as he delicately plates some shrimp. In the light, he almost looks... good?

The thought itself makes you feel queasy, but you can't stop staring at him. He's clad in a plain white shirt and some baggy trousers, clearly having already showered after qualifying and having enough time to chill at home before you even got back.

"Enjoying the view?" he murmurs quietly, not accusatory or teasing in any way, but you can't help but snap.

"Making sure you're not poisoning me," you retort.

A small smile appears on his face and a lump forms in your throat because why was that kind of cute?

"Why can't we just eat it from the containers?" you continue, whining at the way he was taking his time decanting all the plastic.

He looks up at you, offended, "Y/N, dinner is sacred and the vessel it comes in makes a huge difference in the experience! I'm not even making you do anything- just sit there and look pretty."

You almost audibly choke, but you manage to keep it back. How was he saying that to you of all people, so nonchalantly? You're in half a mind to question him, and you open your mouth to do so, but he excitedly claps and lifts a plate over to you, "Ta-da!"

The components of the meal do look lovely on the plate- similar to how a fine-dining restaurant would display them, but you wouldn't readily admit that.

You snatch the cutlery he's holding in your direction, "You act like you made the food. You just put it on the plate."

"I don't even get a thank you for sharing the food?" he pouts, settling into another stool at the counter.

"I'm the one helping you finish it otherwise it'll go to waste," that's what you'll tell yourself to make yourself feel better- because there was in no way he was willingly sharing this meal with you to spend time with you.

Jay hums through the first bite of food, "You're right. Anyway, excited for tomorrow?"

You grimace, "It's a boring race. No one can overtake. Sunghoon's in 10th."

"It'll be interesting with the mandatory pit stops and if there's any safety cars," Jay nods and then frowns, "I'm not that excited to stare at the back of your little boyfriend for 78 laps though."

You splutter on the shrimp, "My who?"

He looks at you questionably, "Your little boyfriend Intak. He qualified 4th and I'm in 5th, remember?"

"Well, I was mostly concerned about where my driver was ending up," you humph, "And he's not my little boyfriend."

"Hwang too pussy to make a move?" Jay scoffs in amusement.

You look up at him sharply, giving piercing glares, "Jay. It's none of your business. Stay out of my love life."

The glint in his eyes tells you he's gonna continue, "Isn't it a conflict of interest though? You work for a different team to him."

You gesture between yourselves, "And you're also a driver from a different team. Having dinner with me."

Jay frowns so hard that lines crease his forehead, "No, but that's different. We grew up together."

"I don't think it's that different."

He stays silent for a while, pushing the rice on his plate around wordlessly until the tension builds so high that it's making you squirm in your seat. You don't know what happened to change the atmosphere in the room- it was probably him.

Jay keeps his eyes on the plate, "Do you have to date Intak?"

You place your cutlery down with a clatter, "What?"

"I said, do you have to date Intak?"

"I have no idea what you mean by that," you try and say calmly, already feeling the heat and frustration rising, "And again, I want you to stay out of my personal life."

"But why do you have to date him?" his voice is quiet, almost ashamed.

"Jay. I really, really don't have to explain anything to you. My life is not your business," you begin to seethe.

He sighs deeply, "I'm not trying to make you angry again."

"Then why are you asking me all these stupid questions and nosing your way into my life?" you counter .

Jay scrapes the fork against the ceramic, making you wince, "Cause I don't want you to date him."

You scoff in utter shock that he'd have the audacity to say something like that. The stool scrapes back with an ear-splitting screech as you stand up, ready to walk away, "You're unbelievable. Are we still on this? You haven't realised in the past three weeks that all the shit you said in Miami was unacceptable and now you're doubling down? Jay, you're crazy."

Jay clenched his teeth as he stands up too, "I feel crazy too. I have no idea what the fuck is going on to me but I know the idea of you dating Intak makes me feel sick."

"The idea of my happiness makes you feel sick. That's how twisted and evil you are. Right. Got it," you deadpan angrily, creating distance between you.

Jay exhales frustratedly, "No! You don't get it, do you, Y/N?"

"Get what? That you're out to ruin my life?" You taunt, tone sharp, "That you're trying to block anything that gives me an ounce of happiness?"

Jay looks up, his face painted with a mix of emotions - confusion, frustration, passion. You meet his eyes that were not glaring at you like they usually were. Instead, his eyes are wide and his pupils blown out as he stares at you intently.

You open your mouth to keep hammering onto him, but in one moment you're two feet apart staring at each other heatedly, and in the next, your eyes are closed with Jay's large hands on your cheeks and his mouth pressed firmly against yours.

His lips are rough on yours, fitting awkwardly and stunning you into complete shock and silence. Jay doesn't move at all and neither do you, but then you start feeling the warmth of his palm on your skin and the feeling of his body against yours.

You squirm and push him away so hard you stumble back against the island, hitting the counter at your waist.

Panting, you look up at Jay, whose eyes have grown so wide with the disbelief at his own actions.

"Y/N," he whispers your name like a prayer, "I- I'm sorry. I-"

You don't know what comes over you. Maybe it's all the years of hatred building up as tension between you that you finally snap and push Jay against the wall of your kitchen and reach up to connect your lips again in a fiery haze.

His arms snake instantly around your waist, tugging you so tightly against him it knocks the air out of you and you have to pull back to gasp a breath. Instantly, he captures your lips again, moving quickly, fiercely.

Your fingers snake up to his hair, tangling themselves within his damp locks to pull his face against yours. Jay squeezes at your skin, making you gasp and giving him the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth.

He tastes like lemon from the lemonade he's been sipping on with a hint of the food you were both just nibbling at before Jay began to run his mouth. His hands caress up your side, ending again with your cheeks in both of his palms as he squishes your faces and brings his closer to yours, as if that was even possible with your tongues in each other's mouths.

You don't know how long you're making out for; maybe time stops around you. All you know is that the feeling of his mouth on yours is one of the most sure things you've felt in a long while, even if it felt very, very, very wrong.

"Jay-" you whimper against his pillowy lips.

Jay pulls away and latches his teeth at your neck as he scowls, "No, you call me Jongseong."

"Jongseong," you repeat in a daze.

His teeth catch at a sensitive point on your neck, making you moan, "Good girl."

You step impossibly closer to slot your leg between his as he returns to terrorising your mouth, moving desperately like he wanted to devour you.

When you pull back to breathe, he's sucking at your jaw, "Don't stop."

It feels like forever before you can muster up the strength to come back to reality, when kissing Jay felt like a dream.

You peel his arms away from you, "Jongseong, you have a race tomorrow. You need to go to bed."

His pupils are blown out when he steps back, lips swollen and red as he pants to catch his breath. He's looking around, as if also perplexed on the sequence of events. He coughs, "Yeah. I do."

Your eyes flicker to the direction of the front door, while a momentary look of hurt flashes in his eyes, "I'll see you tomorrow. Probably."

Jongseong nods, collecting his keys and his phone, "Make sure to finish your food."

"Yeah."

You walk him to the door, "See you."

"No good luck for me?"

You scoff, trying to avoid his gaze, "Never. Bye Jongseong."

You shut the door and listen for his key to turn and his own door to close. Your back presses against the wood as you slide down onto your behind, clutching your knees to your chest.

What the fuck just happened?

🏎️𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪

ROUND 09 - BARCELONA // 30 MAY - 01 JUNE 2025

Out of the many cities that you've travelled to in your career, Barcelona remains one of your favourites. From the rich and distinct culture, to the mouth-watering food and the iconic landmarks to see, you think Barcelona has it all.

Too bad you're stuck at the race on a perfect day to be exploring.

Jungwon spins in his chair beside you, over and over and over and over again, until you have to reach over and smack his arm. He pouts in apology and then begins doing it again 30 seconds later.

Your best friend hasn't been briefed about what happened in Monaco. You don't think you even have half the courage to be able to tell a single soul what happened in your Monaco apartment. You don't even think anyone would believe it happened.

Sure, the moment's been replaying on loop in your head ever since and keeps you up at night, but other than those very small things, it's totally been easy enough to manage on your own.

So easy in fact, that every time you applied lip balm, you were reminded of the feeling of his lips. Then, every time that you closed your eyes to try and sleep, you were transported back to that very moment. And every time you sprayed perfume on your neck in front of the mirror, you remember how his teeth felt against your skin- like a phantom kiss.

You could practically feel his touch ghosting over your skin at any given moment and it made you incredibly conflicted.

As much as you hate Park Jongseong, why was that the most insane kiss you've ever had?

"Earth to Y/N?" Jungwon's voice fades into your consciousness as you realise he's snapping his fingers in front of your face, "I said Sunghoon is about to come. Race is starting soon."

You shake your head to reorient yourself back to what was in front of you- multiple screens that should be reflecting back tons and tons of data, but were currently black.

"Are you feeling okay? You've been off for like a week," Jungwon passes off casually, trying not to pry too much, "You zoned out during the race last weekend and this weekend you can barely concentrate. If you're sick, you can take time off- you should put yourself first."

You appreciate his concern; you really do. But how were you going to tell him that your brain was all scrambled because you had kissed your enemy?

"Thanks Won, but seriously, I'm fine. I'm gonna lock in now, promise," you try to reassure him.

You're saved by the bell in the form of Sunghoon announcing himself in the garage. He greets you and the team, commanding the attention of everyone to begin your pre-race huddle. Jungwon eyes you nervously, but he knows better than to push you.

The pre-race briefing passes by like it normally does and eventually, Sunghoon is getting in his car for the reconnaissance lap and you wait around for a while to go through the motions of the grid activities, the national anthem and the prep just before the race.

During a race, you were usually able to put whatever was happening in your life aside and focus at the task at hand- making sure Sunghoon was receiving the best information and strategies for the race and working with Heeseung's team to keep Mercedes at the top of the Constructor's Championship. All of the bad days and bad moments were cast away when you were in your element of analysing data and making tweaks and alterations to the race strategy.

But 45 laps into the planned 66, you were plucked out of your auto-pilot bubble when the yellow flag advisory appeared and then stayed.

A lot of the times, in dry races, the yellow flag would appear and resolve within seconds- someone going down an escape route or touching the wall but still being able to carry on. Sometimes, there was a virtual safety car for more minor things.

It was a tricky time for you and your team whenever an incident happens and there opens a window of opportunity for the race. Of course, the team has a million different plans for a million different scenarios, but someone has to make the call to execute them.

"Sunghoon needs to pit," you communicate instantly, "Get the mechanics out!"

His race engineer thankfully agrees with you and commands Sunghoon to box. He's been having a good race this weekend, cruising in 3rd with Heeseung leading the race. Your side of the garage made the call to pit first and Heeseung was on fresher tyres by a few laps, so Sunghoon was being given the opportunity to try the undercut on the driver in 2nd.

"Why's there a yellow flag?" Sunghoon's voice is muffled and breathy on the radio as he comes in through the pit entry.

His race engineer answers promptly, "Jay crashed taking turn 1."

Your breath hitches.

"Is he okay?" Sunghoon immediately asks.

"They're working to recover the car and the medical car has him."

That wasn't exactly a 'yeah, he's fine'.

In the limited years you've been working in Formula 1, Jay has only DNF'd a Sunday race 3 times - once for engine failure, another for brake issues and then when a rookie had crashed into him. He's known all around as a pretty safe and reliable driver to get you through a race, no doubt.

But Jungwon had told you before that he had a small crash in Imola, albeit in qualifying, two races ago and now, he was crashing into the walls of the Barcelona circuit.

You can feel Jungwon's eyes on you, so you grip your mouse tightly and keep your head locked onto the screens. Your phone is on the table face down, but it'd be silly to text him, right? You didn't have that kind of... relationship.

Although difficult, you manage to keep your head from flooding with thoughts of Park Jongseong and focus on getting Sunghoon through to the end of the race.

It feels wrong to celebrate after the race when Mercedes are able to complete a 1-2. There's champagne spraying down on the team from the balcony and you're getting pushed and pulled in every direction as your wider team hug each other and throw their hands up in glee. You plaster a smile on your face, though it was probably not very convincing.

During the post-race meeting, your mind was running a million thoughts per minute all while simultaneously being empty. It was so hard to focus on what was being said when you were sat there worried for your childhood nemesis. It confused you so much how he was occupying so much of your brain when only a few weeks ago, the thought of him repulsed you.

"D'you wanna get dinner? At that restaurant you like near the Sagrada?" Heeseung asks casually as the team packs up. He's talking to both you and Jungwon, "I won so my treat!"

Jungwon agrees enthusiastically, but you don't know how much longer of the day you can keep pretending everything was okay.

"I'm really beat, Hee, so I'm just gonna go back to the hotel. Sorry and congrats again," you apologise.

Heeseung gives you a lopsided smile as he takes you into a hug, "Sure. Great job today with Sunghoon. See you back at the factory. Or come see me in Monaco before we head off to Montreal."

Monaco.

Just the name has you visibly flinching in remembrance. Monaco- the place where your relationship with Jay has permanently changed, not that you knew in what way yet.

"Maybe, bye Hee. Bye Won."

The taxi ride back into the city centre is long and arduous with the amount of cars on the road fleeing from the track at the conclusion of the festivities. You sit there the entire time, staring at Jay's contact on your phone, wondering if you should text or not.

On one hand, you're supposed to hate him. You're not supposed to be worried about him at all. You're you and he's him. It's like mentos and cola or watermelons with gravy- either totally wrong or downright dangerous.

But his parents aren't here and you're meant to be looking out for each other- not that you have done in the past.

After deliberating, you decide to text Jake instead: "Is he okay?".

You don't get a reply from his best friend even an hour later when you arrive at your hotel. You keep refreshing your apps- maybe you just missed the notification?

You even search up his name on social media, in case someone knew something or the team posts an update. It feels stupid preoccupying yourself this much. You're not meant to care even a little bit, but you find that you do and the thought distresses you a lot.

Watching the crash back on social media is like a torture ritual- seeing his car collide at such high speed and breaking apart into a million pieces. It tugs on your heart to see him needing to be helped out of the race car, but at least he was able to walk a little bit to get into the medical car.

Heeseung and Sunghoon don't crash very often, thankfully, but when they do, it creates such a sinking feeling in your stomach that doesn't go away until you next see them in the flesh to make sure they really were okay.

Your thoughts are interrupted when your phone begins buzzing and you answer without looking.

"Hello?"

There's a pause on the line and then a raspy breath, "You texted Jake if I was okay?"

His voice instantly releases some of the worry in your body, "It was a pretty bad crash."

His chuckle is soft, "I know; the engineers and mechanics are gonna kill me. At least it's 2 weeks to Montreal."

"You shouldn't even be thinking about that," you scold with a frown he can't see.

It's unbelievable you're even having a decent, but hesitant, conversation with him.

"I'm fine. I just finished doing some tests at the nearest hospital. The most I'll be is sore tomorrow when I wake up," he reassures.

"Oh. Okay," you swallow as silence falls between you.

Your heart beats loudly against your chest. Jay's breath catches on the line, "I wanna see you."

"No, you need to rest Jongseong. Go back to your hotel and eat and then sleep. Your body needs to heal."

You can hear the smile in his voice, "Aw, you care. I was gonna go back to Monaco tonight. Are you staying the night here?"

"I asked for the next few days off so I could explore," you tell him willingly. Why were you actually discussing your plans with Park Jongseong of all people?

"I'll meet you in the morning. You need to show me around Barcelona," Jay says casually, "It's your favourite city, right?"

"... How do you know that?"

His laugh is like honey, "I do actually know things about you, Y/N. We've known each other since we were born."

"Yeah I guess," you trail off, "But you've been to Barcelona a ton! You don't need me to show you around."

"I guess I have, but never with you," Jay argues, "Let's rest up for the night. Goodnight Y/N. I'll pick you up tomorrow."

He leaves no room for argument in his tone as you sigh, "Goodnight Jongseong."

🏎️𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪

You don't know how these F1 drivers find the most luxury super car in every city around the world and are able to drive them on the roads like they own it and live there. But you're in the passenger seat of a jaw-dropping convertible Ferrari cruising through the Barcelona streets.

You've never experienced the city like this; you're usually sweating in the subway or cramming into over-capacity buses to get around.

With the top of the car down and the car moving fast in the wind, it's hard to hear anything or anyone, so you lean against the door and watch the outside world. There's palm trees and blue skies stretching out as far as the eye can see.

You've barely said anything to Jay since he picked you up from your hotel, and you frankly don't even know what to say to him. You don't know how to act when you're not bickering with him and it's so off-putting.

After a while, the car rolls to a stop in front of the one and only place that was non-negotiable on your Barcelona travel list- the science museum.

"We're here," Jay mumbles, pressing the button to bring the roof back over.

You let him pay for the entrance fee; though minimal, he's the millionaire racing driver after all.

"So what's here that has you refusing to go anywhere else first to make sure we have enough time here first?" Jay asks in the elevator going down to the main floor.

"You'll see! I said don't ask questions until you see," you tell him again, getting excited to see youe favourite sight.

The main floor is expansive and there's so much to do before you can even reach the main thing you came here for, but as soon as you step out, you can see it instantly.

Jay's eyes widen, "Woah."

"It's a flooded rainforest!" you finally announce, beckoning him to follow you down to the end of the room, "Come."

You excitedly bounce past all the science displays and activities- you'll get to those later- to go straight to the huge glass wall separating the flooded rainforest from the rest of the museum.

It's a Monday morning, so the museum thankfully isn't very busy. You're able to nab the most central spot on the benches in front of the rainforest and watch as big fish and little fish alike swim in front of you.

"Those ones are massive!" Jay sits beside you, leaving a gap between your bodies, "I've never seen fish like these."

You giggle, "I don't know where you would have. But yeah, it's cool. I've been here like nearly 10 times now and it doesn't get any less cool. Hopefully we can see the capybaras too."

"Oh my, there's capybaras?" his face lights up.

"Yeah, but sometimes you can only spot them from the top floors," you crane your neck back to show him how the floors above had balconies looking down into the rainforest, "We can go inside the rainforest later."

"Inside?"

"Mhm, can you see the people inside?" you point between the trees, where you can see people on the other side, "Plus to get there, there's like a little tunnel inside where they have some snakes and spiders and shit."

"This is insane. How have I never been here?" Jay mostly mumbles to himself.

It's weird- the two of you exchanging words that didn't include profanities and insults. It's almost... nice?

You don't look at Jay for a while, instead watching the animals bob along and under the water. It's fascinating watching them move, especially the fish you think might actually be longer than you are tall. The schools of small fish are cute, chasing each other around and ducking into hiding places.

It's definitely a peaceful place- somewhere you could sit and watch and think for hours on end. You might have ended up doing just that if Jay wasn't there- ironically, he's what you would have been thinking about for a long, long, long time.

"Jay," you call his name, "Why did you kiss me?"

He sucks in a deep, sharp breath before he exhales, "Why did you kiss me back?"

You're quiet for a beat too long until you admit, "I don't know."

"I-" he pauses to collect himself, hands folded in his lap, "I don't know what to say, to be honest."

You nod slowly, keeping your eyes trained on the fish, "We can't go back to the way we were; we can't pretend it never happened, because it did. But at the same time- I don't know."

His gulp is audible, "I know. I'm sorry... but I'm not. I've been trying to figure out what to say to you all week- some kind of excuse or something- but even though I can't get it out of my head, I don't know what to say. It's driving me crazy."

"I can't stop thinking about it," you admit quietly, "Hating you is all I've ever known but that moment has flipped my whole world upside down. I can't act around you like we used to and it's turning my brain into mush."

Jay frowns, "Y'know I hate that- that hating me is all you've ever known."

"You hate me too," you snort in amusement at his statement.

"It's different- I hate you because you hate me. For good reason, I know, but still. I hate- hated you for not giving me the chance to make it up to you when we were younger," Jay confesses, "And then it became normal and we never came back from it."

You look down at your hands, "Every time I looked at you, all I could remember is that crash and how I was terrified to look at a race car let alone get in one for years. I know I should move on; I've been trying."

"If I could turn back time to prevent that accident, you know I would," Jay's voice goes hoarse and low, "If I could give you my career, I really would. You loved racing much more than I did when we were young."

His words are kind, but they still hurt, "Getting this job in motorsports was my way of trying to heal the past. It's helping and maybe I've already forgiven you for the accident, but we were so terrible to each other over the years. Is there any coming back from that?"

You think of all the times he would throw the most gut wrenching insults to you- after you'd said something nearly evil to him. You think of all the times he would humiliate you in group settings and all of the times you would lie to his face about his driving for the sole purpose of hitting him where it hurt.

You think of all the times you would call him a nepo baby and then all the moments he'd tell you that you were a hypocrite, because while you may not be an F1 driver for a team your dad owned, you were still employed in the field that revered your father. Of course you had a leg up in the hiring process from your last name alone.

"There's also no way of coming back from what we did in Monaco," Jay counters, "There's no way I can come back from how every single minute of this past week, all I've thought about is if I'm going to be able to do it again."

You hold your head still, afraid to see if he's looking at you while he's laying his heart bare, "Jay, if this is one of your tricks or game or a way to hurt me in the end, I really don't think I'll be able to take it."

"You keep saying that and I know I've done nothing to earn your trust and it's going to take so much to make you believe me, but Y/N, it's not," his voice is pleading, "Please."

Your heart wants to believe him so badly.

"If this ends badly, I don't think I'll ever be able to look you in the eye ever again," you tell him honestly.

"I'll take my chances," Jay affirms, "There's a fine line between love and hate and you're either going to be my biggest heartbreak or my greatest love and I have to find out, Y/N. I can't spend the rest of my life wondering what if?"

Your stomach twists- it's the realest, rawest thing he's ever said to you and you know you feel exactly the same way he does. It's not an explicit confession, but you can read between the lines.

"How do we go from the way we usually are to acting completely the opposite?" you voice your concern.

He scoots over a little closer, but not by much, "We can take it really slow; go at our own pace. Hide it from the world until we figure ourselves out. Work hard to gain each other's trust. Talk little by little until it's not awkward or weird anymore."

You chuckle a little, "You've been thinking about this a lot, haven't you?"

"I told you so," you can hear the smile forming in his voice and the way his tone gets a little lighter, "I couldn't fucking focus during Monaco, Y/N. Seriously- I've never been so distracted during a race!"

"Yeah, but you also were the only driver to perform an overtake on track at the race," you remind him, "A very good overtake on Intak, might I add."

Jay's face almost lights up in remembrance, but then falls into a grimace, "Intak... is that still a thing?"

"He was really nice and I did see him a few times after Miami, even after you tried to intimidate him by showing up to my hotel," you tell him honestly, "But I knew I had something to sort out with you before I could seriously entertain someone."

Jay bites his lip in guilt, "You know me well enough to know I'm not sorry for what I did. I didn't even know I could get jealous like that. No one's ever boldly approached you like that. You've never had a serious relationship before- especially not one so close."

You pause and cock your head at him, "You do know I used to sleep with Heeseung right? Very very briefly-"

Jay's eyes widen, "Heeseung as in your driver Heeseung? My friend Heeseung? No. I don't know."

"Silly question - we were never gonna tell you because you'd probably hate him for associating with me," you point out, "And then hate me more for sleeping with your friend."

His face hardens, "It's in the past right? Like recent past, though?"

You laugh as you swat at his arm, "Before I was even employed at Mercedes. And really, never ever anything romantic. We're friends, though, and it better not be a problem."

"It's not a problem," Jay quickly replies, "But I'm still jealous he got to y'know- be with you."

"Well, keep the rivalry on the racetrack," you joke hesitantly. You don't know how much you can push him and how far he'd take a joke with you yet when you were at each other's throats just a few weeks ago.

Heeseung was on top of the championship, though it was still just the middle of the season. Jay was behind in second thanks to being a consistent points scorer overall. His DNF yesterday will probably hurt him, but you know he's got a fighting spirit.

"Hey, there's still 15 rounds left of the season. You're gonna see a lock in like no other," Jay protests lightly but then he pauses in thought, "Do we have to agree to keep the racing separate to us? Obviously, you work for my rivals..."

You grimace, "I know. I think we should try our best to separate them. I'm not going to sabotage my team to help you and as much as my dad would love it, I'm not going to leave for your team."

He nods slowly, taking in your words, "Are you scared for any repercussions if, y'know, Mercedes find out about us? Is that something that will change your mind."

"I don't have the answers for you right now, Jay," you press your lips into a tight smile, "I don't know what the future will bring or how they'd react, so I guess we just gotta take it day by day."

"Yeah, of course," he agrees, "But I told you to stop calling me Jay!"

"What's your obsession with that?!" you exclaim.

His lips form a small, gentle smile, "You're the only person who calls me Jongseong. I like it coming from you. Even my parents don't call me that often."

You fight back an endeared smile as you spot something in the corner of your eye, "Wait, I can see the caiman! Look."

Your fingers wrap around his wrist to tug him closer to the left of the enclosure, where a caiman alligator perched on a rock, half inside the water and half out. It's eyes peered above the surface of the water and the reptile was completely, stunningly still.

"That's so sick," Jay expresses, his excitement distracting you from the fact that he manoeuvred your hold on him to entwine your fingers together.

And then he doesn't let go for the rest of the museum visit. Somehow, it feels nice- your hand in his in your favourite place in the world.

🏎️𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪

ROUND 10 - MONTREAL // 13 - 15 JUNE 2025

With your driver qualifying in 4th place and Heeseung in pole, Mercedes was in a good position heading into the Sunday of the Canadian Grand Prix.

As usual, Jungwon was spinning around in his chair beside you while you were waiting for the race to start and the mechanics and press to leave the grid.

"Need to focus, need to focus," he mumbles under his breath as he taps a pen on his thigh.

Your team principal returns to the garage and checks in on your side and you try to convince him that your team was all good. You don't know why Jungwon is so hyper today, but you had to act normal in front of the boss.

"Hoping for a double podium today," your boss gives everyone a thumbs up as he retreats back to the pit wall.

Sunghoon responds to the radio check and the clock ticks over to show 15:00. The formation lap always has you nervous; something going wrong here would honestly be the worst, but Sunghoon makes it back in one piece to the starting grid.

You nervously watch the screen and the order of the names on the left hand side. There's a weird feeling you're experiencing today because Jay's name is in second and it's one of the first times that you don't sneer in disgust and then proceed to wish bad luck on him in your head.

You try to push the feeling away of the uncertainty about this situation, knowing it's a feeling you're going to have to get used to from now on.

Besides, for now, he's Heeseung's garage's problem and not yours.

The race starts without chaos, but it happens so fast that you're practically still not focused when Sunghoon takes the inside line and overtakes Sunoo into Turn 3. Jungwon's shaking your shoulder in happiness and your delayed reaction still conveys relief.

You stay focused on keeping Sunghoon in third, but you get frequent updates from the other side of the garage that they want you to start trying to put pressure on the Belift car in order to relieve Heeseung from the constant pressure he himself was getting. Sunghoon was still a few seconds back from Jay, so you try not to make any promises.

It's a bit of a mess getting through all the pit stops and how the names don't truly reflect the position of the drivers when some were still yet to pit and others have had new tyres for laps and laps.

By lap 61, there's a DRS train between Heeseung, Jay and Sunghoon. Your driver is doing exquisitely well, but he just can't seem to get past Jay, no matter how hard he tries.

The mood in the garage changes when out of nowhere, Jay makes a bold move to break much later going into a corner than Heeseung does, and gets out of it cleanly.

Heeseung's strategist is immediately on the radio to your side, "We need Sunghoon to defend the cars behind to give Heeseung the chance to get his place back from Jay."

You know this sport is as much a team game than it is a solo championship, so you look reluctantly between your team and confer to the request.

"Copy that," Sunghoon's race engineer replies.

Though disappointing, you accept the team orders and watch as Sunghoon drops the pressure off the back of second place, now occupied by his teammate.

A mixture of emotions swirl in your stomach as Jay storms through the finish line to take his win. For all the years you've spent angry or annoyed every time he's won, it's a better feeling to not have to feel that. You're disappointed for Heeseung, but second and third is still good for your team, who usher you out in order to receive your drivers in celebration.

You're not close to the front of the crowd, but your heart leaps when you see Jay scan the Mercedes crowd for someone- for you- after he celebrates with his team. Even though Jungwon's face twists in shock and confusion when you do, you clap subtly for Jay when he lifts his trophy on the podium and you try and ignore him as you walk back through the Mercedes garage.

"No snarky comments from you about Park's win?" Jungwon raises his eyebrows, "Interesting..."

You turn to your best friend and sigh deeply, "I'm not gonna lie to you, Won. Jay and I are in a... transitional phase right now. It's kinda confusing and I'll tell you more when I'm ready but..."

His eyes grow the size of the car tyres that dominate the area of the room, "Oh! Oh my gosh. Okay. It's happening."

You roll your eyes at him, "Don't make a big deal out of it, please."

His features settle into a knowing smirk, "Something happened in Monaco, am I right? You were so weird that weekend!"

"I'm not gonna tell you," you bump his arm, "Let's just get this debrief over with."

🏎️𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪

Jay is waiting for you at the back entrance of the restaurant his parents chose for the evening meal. He's leaning against the scuffed wall, dressed head to toe in black and still wearing sunglasses even in the onyx night.

You clamber out of the taxi and you don't know how to greet him until he opens his arms to invite you into a hug.

"Congratulations on the win, Jongseong" you tell him sincerely.

"Thank you. I'm sorry for taking it from you guys," he giggles sweetly.

"Please don't apologise to me every time you beat Mercedes on the track. We're keeping it as separate as we can, remember?" you scold gently.

Jay pushes up his sunglasses over his hair as he leans down to place a kiss on your cheek, "I tried to look for you at Parc Fermé but I couldn't see you."

"I know, I saw you looking. Way to make it not obvious," you tease, "But what are you doing waiting out here? Our parents are already inside, right?"

"Yeah, but I wanted to greet you first," he looks down at you, "How are we gonna act in front of our parents?"

You blink up at him and exhale, "I just don't want them to interfere or insert themselves between us."

Jay nods in agreement, "Let's just see how it goes trying not to show them anything has changed between us. Okay?"

"Okay," you breathe.

The back entrance of the restaurant is down a dead-end road with nobody around. You can hear the clattering of the kitchen on the other side of the door, but it's dark and only lit up with a couple of street lamps on the street.

Jay purses his lips, "Can I kiss you?"

Shyly, you nod and spring up on your tiptoes to meet him when he leans his head down to press his mouth against yours. He tastes of mint and that taste that is so very distinctly Jay, but you can't describe. Slowly, gently, he moves his lips against yours as he rests a hand on your hips.

It's only quick because your dinner party is awaiting the both of you inside, but when he pulls away, he keeps his lips ghosting over yours as he says, "My perfect prize."

"You're so cheesy," you bang at his chest as you laugh.

Jay joins your glee as he pecks at your lips, "C'mon, let's not keep them waiting or else they'll moan at us."

Jay enters the room a few steps behind you, trying to keep his expression neutral like he wasn't bursting with happiness from both winning today and then being able to kiss the prettiest girl in the world as his prize.

Your mother bemoans at the two of you anyway, "What time do you call this? We've been waiting forever!"

You know she's not serious but you say anyway, "Traffic."

"Did you two come together?" Jay's mother asks as she kisses your cheeks in greeting.

"No, we're staying in different hotels. Our cars arrived at the same time," you tell her. It's partly the truth- you were staying apart from each other, but Jay had been waiting a while at the back door for you to arrive.

"Our champ," your dad hugs Jay, "Order whatever you want."

"He always does anyway," your teasing carries a bit of a lighter tone and when Jay would usually scowl in return, he just scrunched up his face to fight a smile.

"Thank you for inviting us to dinner," Jay says to your parents instead, taking the seat beside you. It wasn't actually unusual for Jay to find himself in the seat beside you at dinner. It was the only spaces left at the table anyway.

"I just had a good feeling you would win," your dad grins proudly, "I'm sorry if you wanted to be out celebrating instead. I wouldn't have taken offence if you didn't come."

"I'm perfectly fine right here," Jay snakes his hand under the table to rest on your knee. You place your own hand on top and rub over the back of his hand.

"It's a good day for all of us," Jay's dad and CEO of Belift claps, "A win for my son and the rest of the podium for Y/N's team. What a good weekend to have come to watch."

"Yes, you needed that after that crash in Spain," your mother frowns, "You're okay now, right?"

"Never better, I promise," he reassures her.

"It was so scary that we weren't there," his mother sighs after, "We hate seeing Jay crash, but he told us not to come and see him because it was only a small incident."

"It's so important to be have people you know around you when things like that happen," your father agrees, "Jay, I know you have Jake and your team, but we always tell Y/N that she has to be there for you if anything happens and we know you'll do the same."

You stay quiet, eyes scanning the same words on the menu over and over again. Now that Jay's in your corner, you try to push away the feeling that your dad seems to show favour to him a lot of the time. It's something that you know you'll have to work on with Jay and your dad in the years to come, no matter how long it will take.

Jay rubs at your knee, "Yes sir."

"It's another week and a half to Austria," Jay's dad comments, "Any plans you two?"

"I didn't say but I was just gonna chill at home for a couple days while I'm on this side of the planet," Jay shrugs, referring to his original home of Seattle.

Your mother claps, "Oh perfect, Y/N is coming home too. Maybe you can arrange to go back together on your jet."

"Mom, he's gonna have to go back to Monaco and I'm going back to England. No need to bother him like that," you try to say.

Jay's quick to reply though, "That's the luxury of a private jet, it can go wherever you want it to go and make as many stops."

His mother claps him on the back in surprise, "Ah, well done Jay. That's very kind of you to Y/N for once! Are you kids finally growing up?"

Your parents laugh together when you both roll your eyes in unison. You avoid eye contact with him, but he squeezes at your thigh to reassure you nevertheless.

🏎️𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪

Seattle is sweltering in the June heat. You've spent the past three days of your small break beached on the side of your swimming pool under an umbrella, or inside said pool trying to cool off. Other than that, you've mostly also been napping with the AC blasting in your childhood bedroom.

Your father has left for a business trip, which wasn't unusual at all. While you were hoping to spend some time with your family while you were in the city, your mother accompanies your father wherever he goes. It's endearing, but you're lonely in a big house now.

The day before you were going to fly back to Europe, Jay insists on taking you out for your first official date in Seattle.

Of course, he picks you up in his favourite Ferrari, making sure to collect you at your doorstep and then open the passenger door for you. You're praying that your parents are too preoccupied to watch the cameras that cover every inch of their property.

He shoots off into the distance and then quickly entwines his hand with yours, driving with just one hand, "Good break?"

"You know what I've been doing the past few days," you've started a small habit of calling each other in the later hours of the evening to try and get used to talking to each other normally and updating each other on your life.

Jay smiles to himself, "Mhm. Are you excited for our date?"

You fight back an identical smile, not wanting to come off too eager or sappy, "You won't tell me what I even have to be excited about."

"Does it matter? Isn't spending time with me the most important part?" he teases, "But you'll love it, trust me."

Growing up in Seattle until you moved away for university, you don't think there's anything in the city that you haven't done. Even when your life revolved around karting when you were younger, you still found time to appreciate the city that you were born into.

You spent a lot of your poolside lounging trying to guess what Jay had planned for you, but you decided that it was better to take the surprise as it is as he put a lot of effort into planning a day out for you.

The entire drive until he parks up is calm- a word not often used to describe the environment between you and Jay. But he's singing along softly to the old rock songs on his playlist and you get to appreciate the talent you long forgot he possessed. In your pre-teen days, Jay would always sing and play the guitar at your school talent shows, but praising him was something unfathomable to you, so you blocked all positive traits he had from your memory.

When the car stops in a parking lot, Jay sends you a look that you know means 'don't you dare move out of your seat' so that he can run over to the passenger side and open the door for you. He leads you down the street, walking on the road-side of the pavement to shield you from the whizzing cars passing by.

It's a popular street you know you've visited in the past, lined with various cafés, small stores and service shops. There's façades you recognise, but also a lot that you don't considering a lot will have changes over the years that you have lived away.

"Where are we going?" you whine to him.

Jay rolls his eyes at your impatience and abruptly stops to reach for a door, "We're here now actually."

He pushes the glass door open and you gasp as soon as you see past the window.

"Do you like it?"

You excitedly squeeze his arm, "There's no way you took me to a cat café! This is the best day ever!"

Jay laughs, "What can I say? I'm just that good."

You don't even bother to banter back because you spot a small kitten walking over curiously to the edge of the gate that protects the cats from the front door leading out into the street. You fumble with the gate and Jay murmurs behind you that he'll close it and order food for you guys so you could play with the kitten.

On a weekday early afternoon, the café is relatively quiet, but you choose a table tucked into the corner of the shop instead of a window table in case anyone walks by and recognises your companion. The kitten trails behind you and you spot various feline friends curled up in different places around the room - in cat trees, cat hammocks, beds, café seats and on ledges.

The tabby cat is so small, it could probably fit into the palm of your hands and you have to fight the urge to pick it up and kiss it all over- the café owners probably wouldn't like that. But it jumps up onto the bench you're sat on anyway and circles the spot before curling up into your thing. You brush your fingers through it's soft fur, squealing inside as it begins to purr lowly.

You're so engrossed in giving the kitten affection that you don't notice how much time passes when Jay comes back to the table with a tray of milkshakes and an excessive selection of cute-ly decorated cakes and desserts.

You look up at him and he smiles sheepishly, "I couldn't choose and all proceeds go towards the care of the cats."

You cave, "If you put it like that, then we can buy the whole store."

Instead of sitting across from you, he sits on the same bench on the other side of the kitten so he could also pet the purring cat. Jay's cooing about how cute the kitten is when an older, larger cat snakes over, tempted by the food.

"Oh, that cat looks like a big version of that kitten we rescued slash kidnapped when we were young!" it's a grey-furred cat with piercing yellow eyes, locked into a slice of cake.

You move to both distract it from the food and also stroke it at the same time, "Hiii, you're such a cutie."

"What did we call that kitten again?" Jay ponders.

You laugh out loud, "I think we actually called it Mercedes!"

Jay claps, softly as to not wake the kitten, "Yes! Foreshadowing, maybe?"

"No, cause it was grey," you say back.

"Here I am, trying to be poetic and you're here being literal," Jay scoffs playfully.

You smooth your fingers over the soft hairs, "How am I gonna go home without a cat, Jongseong? How do I not kidnap these babies?"

He's looking at you in awe, "You ever think about getting a pet like our parents said? There's plenty of dogs in the paddock."

"First of all, I don't own a private jet to take an animal around the world comfortably. Second, the pets are all owned by drivers- imagine a strategist lugging around a dog!" you point out.

"Luckily, I both have a private jet and am a driver,"

he says smugly, watching as the kitten he was stroking stretches and then settles itself back into his lap, "Oh my goodness, so cute!"

"I don't think co-parenting a pet at races screams 'keep it private'," you snort, "Don't move- I need to take a picture."

You manoeuvre around the grey cat to grab your phone and try to take a picture. You don't even realise it, but you find yourself subconsciously smiling to yourself as you focus the photo and as Jay's grin spreads across his whole face. You don't even know how long you went in life without seeing a genuine, real smile from him.

"Why are you looking at your phone like that? Do I look stupid?" he pouts.

You click on the photo and admire it, "No! You actually look... cute."

Jay snickers at your reaction, "Is it painful for you to call me cute?"

"It's torturing me inside," you drawl.

He lets out this laugh- full-bodied and hearty- that makes your stomach twist with glee. You'd have never ever imagined in a million years that Park Jongseong could make you feel this way, yet it felt somehow natural.

His eyes crinkle together as he throws his head back, baring all of his teeth. The lines around his mouth deepen as the corner of his lips tug all the way up. It's something so surreal and welcome all the same.

It's so strange to feel so invigorated when his face relaxes to this soft, easy smile instead of the pinched, tight scowl he used to always wear around you. Something about this moment has you feeling so light inside and all the more sure that yes, this was the right decision.

🏎️𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪

AUGUST SUMMER BREAK

Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. Two emotions so intense and so powerful that they activate the same areas of the brain.

It's something so many people have regurgitated to you whenever you talked about how much you hated Park Jongseong.

First, your childhood best friend when you were a teenager, who was convinced you were going to marry Jay one day. Then, your college housemates at your kitchen table whenever Park Jongseong and his family were in town and you'd have to entertain them. Your best friend Jungwon too- he's the biggest believer of that. Even your trusted nail lady, who you occasionally spill all your secrets to, redacting names and hoping she would never find out who the annoying childhood enemy in your rants grew up to be. She would always tut at you and say that you only felt this intense hatred for him because hate was a much easier feeling to digest, sit with and accept than its counterpart.

When Park Jongseong tells you he loves you for the first time, instead of the usual 'I hate you', something clicks into place and it feels just right.

You're in his bedroom in his family's Monaco apartment, the one just step from your own family's place. You've spent more time in his apartment this summer break than yours because really, every moment without him when he's just across the hall feels pointless.

It's astounding how close the two of you have got over the 3 months since Monaco. You still bicker about small things like no end; that's something that's never going to change. But at the end of the day, he kisses your forehead so tenderly and wraps his arms around you so tightly that you forget all the years behind you.

Late in the morning, light floods the room through the opulent windows and the AC is blasting to try and combat the fiery heat of a Mediterranean summer. It's cold in the room, so you're wrapped up tightly under his duvet that you've stolen to only cover your own body.

"Y/N, I'm cold too," he whines, tugging at the soft material, "Let me get under!"

"Noooo, you shouldn't have got up to go to the toilet then!" you protest back, burying yourself deeper into the bed, trying to turn away from him.

You don't know what time it is and with the luxury of a summer break, you don't have to know what time it is. You woke up to Jongseong playing with your hair, who proceeded to pepper your face in kisses the moment he saw you were awake. Then, you spent God-knows how long just talking, cuddling and drifting in and out of slumber. It's the perfect morning- one that you wish you can re-live with him over and over again until you both are grey.

He flops his arm over the top of your duvet-covered body and tries to pull you back over to face him, "Baby, please! I'm freezing."

You tuck your whole head under the sheet, letting out a muffled, "No!"

He humphs above you, "Fine. I'm gonna go lay down in the guest room then if you don't wanna share."

His (empty) threat has you jumping off the bed and throwing the sheets over him, "No, don't leave!"

Jongseong laughs instantly, wrapping his freezing arms around your torso and pulling you tight to his chest, "You're so weak. I love you so much."

You let out this automatic laugh too, until you realise your heart skips a beat and your mouth snaps shut in a shock your brain doesn't register until a moment later.

Jay doesn't even realise as he places one palm on your cheek instead to admire your features in the mid-morning light- a personal favourite past-time of his.

"Jjongie," you whisper, heart suddenly starting to beat fast. It's the nickname you used to call him when you couldn't pronounce Jongseong and the one retired not so long after that. It's the nickname you now call him in certain situations- when you want something from him, when you're sad and when you're feeling intense emotions.

His face twists in sudden worry, "What's wrong, angel?".

And then his eyes widen as he remembers what he accidentally blurted, "Wait, did I just tell you I love you?"

A shaky laugh escapes your lips, "You did."

He pulls back a little from you, but with one hand still keeping you flush to him, "Oh. I didn't mean to say it like this for the first time-" he watches as your face turns unreadable and then catches himself, "But that doesn't mean I don't mean it. Cause I do. I know it's early and we've only been together for like 3 months, technically even just 2, but I've known you my whole life and y'know, I used to hate you for a long time, but now it feels like I'm meant to love you for the rest of my life instead and I know that sounds really scary but there's no pressure-"

You cut his ramble off with a kiss placed on the very centre of his mouth, "I love you, Jongseong."

The way his face lights up and then softens in awe is immortalised in your memory. It's a moment you'll replay in your head forever and ever.

"Good," the worry of his accidental confession just immediately evaporates from his body as his thumb runs over your cheek delicately, "Thank you for giving me the chance, Y/N. I love you and it's the best feeling ever."

He cranes his neck down to press his lips to yours in a slow, tender kiss that feels like home to you now. You know for certain now that your once-broken heart stitched itself back up and gave itself to your Jongseong- the one who was forever by your side.

fin. 🏎️𖦹 ׂ 𓈒 🏁 ／ ⋆ ۪

a/n: thank you thank you thank you for reading. find my masterlist here & all likes, comments, reblogs and feedback are so, so appreciated <3

[soobnny]

SUE’S ENHYPEN FIC RECS

this obviously isn’t complete but these struck out to me a lot while i was making this list! i’ll update this or maybe make another one with additional fic recs when i find the time :)

☆ heeseung

familiar stranger — @bambisgirl

i rly liked the plot for this one. i found it funny the whole wanting him to take a picture of U, not like .. taking a pic together :( i just think that’s a rly charming point of the fic n i enjoyed following the scenario n just seeing how the both of them r reacting to the situation

we’re dating! (not really) — @jayflrt

one of my fav tropes ever. and one of my fav fics on here too! it’s just written so adorably and idk i love this so much. do u see like to the point i’m actually SPEECHLESS. just read this for a fun time n if u want to be smiling from ear to ear the whooooole time 🤭

☆ sunghoon

for the first time — @yaehao

perhaps my most favorite sunghoon fic (maybe even favorite fic in general) on tumblr. u do not understand how this story made me feel + i think it’s one of the reasons i got into writing for enhypen in the first place. it honestly expanded my passion for writing becos i wanted to be as good as op one day

12:08 pm | sticky notes — @luv4jun

this one’s a short read but it did stick out to me while i was reading it. honestly felt so realistic? everything felt vivid and real to me like it’s so sweet and it’s such a perfect read to remember before going to sleep

man of the hour — @sung5oon

i am a big actor!sunghoon enthusiast so this fed me WELL. fueled my silly little brain and i just … i love this. i love the trope and the au it’s playing in like !! i wish there was more actor!enha writings :”) i love it! definitely should read this one!

☆ jay

crushes & crashes — @restlessmaknae

this was such a good read. i remember just having the time of my life when i was reading this and just having a smile on my face the whole time :)

falling for you, i can’t keep you away — @ddeonuism

i just love hogwarts and harry potter au cos it’s the first book series i’ve ever read so anything in this alternate universe will make me scream. even more when it’s friends to lovers.

☆ jake

to all my firsts with you — @jayflrt

the silly thing is i have not read this fic yet but i KNOW it’s good. my friend recommended it to me and i enjoyed another fic written by op n love the way everything is written so i know this one’s golden too!

☆ sunoo

i’m gonna be real. i do not see much written for sunoo >:( let me know if u have a good fic rec aaaa i’d love to read more for him truly.

☆ jungwon

6:43 am — @iovnyu

this one fueled my daydreaming. u don’t understand how short and sweet this was like i could read it over and over again esp when i need a smile! will never fail to make u giggle

unrequited — @enhas-bestie

i honestly love how real this one felt. it’s the type that leaves your heart feeling heavy which is always a good feature when you’re reading angst!

lost cause — @yeongwonie

one of my most favorite jungwon fics of all time. it was written so beautifully and the flow is so easy to follow. just everything about this fic screams beauty and the plot is honestly just .. it’s so fun to read n just aaaaa. i can’t even express how much i love this fic

closer — @palajae

i read this one slowly becos i wanted to cherish every single moment and scene in the fic. this was one of the cutest things ive ever read like actual tooth-aching fluff. i remember just going back to this a lot and rereading it becos it gave me a new feeling every time i read it again.

blue birthday — @amakumos

drum roll please to my favorite jungwon fic on this app. i will never shut up about blue birthday and i will never stop coming back to this fic. the plot was something i’ve never read before and i just .. find myself rooting for everyone in the fic. it’s crazy how much i love this fic (btw this will be dethroned by kiss and cry also by yun i am gonna add it here as soon as it is released)

☆ ni-ki

sucks to be you, sleepyhead — @cloudninescenes

let’s talk about this one. the characterization and the flow of the story is so so pretty. i smiled the whole time with this one too :( i just love how riki is the teasing but down bad type. i love that trope so much. i cannot stress enough how much i enjoyed the plot too

lucky charm — @amakumos

one of my favorite — if not even my favorite ni-ki fic on here. i was giggling and laughing multiple times. honestly, you can count on yun for writing something you’ve never read before. her writing will always be my favorite. i remember talking about the original story with yun for this one so i feel #special

20th century girl — @delcakoo

guys i’m sorry but i was just giggling like a little school girl the whole time i was reading this. the characterization fits him SO much like i can imagine it so vividly and so clearly. like this is riki u are so right. and JUST!!! just read it and u will understand why i love it so much 🫶 i cannot wait to read the rest of op’s works when i have the time!

[lovelyjaem]

the way i loved you | park jay (preview) 

PAIRING: jay x reader

SUMMARY: in which you are working for your college fling (who you may of had the tiniest bit of feelings for)

GENRE: fwb to enemies to lovers, fluff, angst

WARNINGS: none in this

EXPECTED WORD COUNT: around 10k

EXPECTED RELEASE DATE: hopefully by the end of october

“Who wants to knock?” 

You guys glance at each other, waiting for someone to volunteer. After a few moments, no one says anything, Yujin lets out a sign and knocks three times on the glass door in front of you, waiting for someone to open the door. 

And how much you wish no one answered that door. 

Because as soon as the door opens, you become face to face with none other than Jay Park. 

Or as his close friends would call him, Jongseong. You always refused to call him that, sticking with Jay, not wanting to create a closer relationship, even with him telling you to. 

Who was currently staring at you like you had committed multiple crimes against him. Jaw clenched and sharp eyes narrowed right in your direction, the look on his face makes you want to run away and hide. 

Your eyes widen and your lips part a little at the last person you expected to see here, let alone be working for him. 

Is it bad if you quit? Is it too late to back out? You can always try applying somewhere else, even if this was your dream placement and you finally got it after years of hard work. 

Deciding to ignore it for now, you blink a few times, close your mouth, and quickly fix yourself, putting the fakest smile you could muster on your face. 

You didn’t even have much time to keep thinking about it, before Jungwon interrupts the little stare off you and Jay were having, “Hello, Mr Park! My name is Jungwon. This is Yujin, and this is y/n. We are very eager to be working for you and we will do our best!”

Once Jungwon finishes talking, Jay turns towards him, his features softening a little. “Please, call me Jay. It’s nice to meet you. You can come into my office and I’ll explain how things will work.”

He opens the door fully and holds it as Jungwon, then Yujin walks through. However, as you begin to go in trailing behind them, Jay sticks out his arm to stop you, and leans down to whisper in your ear, “It’s Mr Park for you.”

thank you for reading <3 hope you look forward to the full thing!