ʚ🐞ྀིྀིɞ ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ʚ🐞ྀིྀིɞ
♥ 🇯🇦🇸🇴🇳 🇹🇴🇩🇩 🇦🇬🇪🇷🇪 -- 🇷🇪🇩⦂ 🇱🇦🇩🇾🇧🇺🇬 🇲🇴🇹🇮🇫 ♥
ʚ🐞ྀིྀིɞ ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ʚ🐞ྀིྀིɞ
(kind of angsty btw sorryyyyy--the dynamic will get less so later on I promise)
♥ Jason regresses to baby to toddler range. He's little-little. It offers him both a reprieve from the world while other times making it harder for him to regulate his thoughts if he's in a particularly bad "ruminating on trauma" headspace that day
♥ In the beginning, it's not something he's consciously aware he's doing. He'll just be lying in bed, reading, and happen to find himself chewing on the knuckle of one of his fingers
♥ Jason doesn't really know how to go about it at first. Regressing allows him to "disappear" for a bit, but it also makes him incredibly depressed because there's no one around to help carry the load. This dynamic makes him not want to indulge in his regressions because it leaves him in a heavy, lonesome mood
♥ On top of that, Jason knows he's..."more emotionally expressive" than the other bats (as they say), and it's something they don't fail to remind him of (that he's "emotional" and "sensitive" and "bad at compartmentalizing" especially "compared to the rest of them")
♥ Which leads him to, once he figures out what's happening, hiding his regressions because he's doesn't want the others to have another thing to leverage against him. His emotions already feel so much bigger and hard to parse/control when he's little. He doesn't want them to have "another reason to prove them right."
♥ For many months, this suppression causes him to never actually, fully, comfortably regress. There's always a little voice in the back of his head telling him, "What if one of them sees?" Which makes him feel inadequate, stupid, and shameful for "getting to this point in the first place"
♥ When the bats finally learn about Jason's regressions, they feel awful for realizing they've created an environment where Jason doesn't feel safe to confide in them, fearing ridicule. They learn quickly there's so much they don't know about Jason (like him knitting) and it's a real wake-up call for the bats in regard to how they treat Jason. It takes a lot of effort to get to the point where Jason feels comfortable being little around them. Similarly, it takes a while for big!Jason to feel comfortable being more himself around them (such as being more expressive with his emotions, interests, and opinions)
♥ In the Gotham Knights game, Jason knits. So, I like to think he tries to "get out his urges" by knitting and crocheting. On its own, it's already therapeutic, but because Jason won't let himself buy stuffed animals lest a sneaking bat finds one sitting on his nightstand, he slowly starts accumulating a stash of homemade stuffies. He can't help it, he's drawn to the patterns, and he really wants a snuggle buddy after a bad nightmare. Sometimes he tries to knit/crochet when he's little and gets frustrated when he can't get it right because little him has less refined fine motor skills
♥ Jason really likes stuffed animals. He wants practically every single one he sees. For a long time, he won't let himself indulge. Later on, once the others find out, they constantly gift them to Jason. He'll carry one around with him everywhere. He uses them a bit as a barrier between him and others whether he's sitting down or standing up. Someone is constantly pulling a plush limb out of his mouth. He chews on his stuffies especially when he's nervous. Much to everyone's displeasure; however, the bats agree they prefer that to him chewing on his bottom lip
♥ It's a bit shocking to the bats that Jason's baseline as a little is fairly quiet and soft--he just wants a break from the chaos that's been every day of all his lifetimes. He just wants to be good and loved. The bats have a lot of preconceived notions about who Jason is that they have to unpack. When they learn who Jason is when he's comfortable around a person, he's softer than they realized, likes things they didn't think he would. The bats realize they've never taken the time to know Jason and have each pushed their own personality and personhood on to him (to the point that almost all their ideas and "knowledge" of him seem to contradict one another).
♥ Having said that: Jason can get overwhelmed especially on tougher days. He's a feeler and that makes big emotions feel all the bigger. It's much harder to regulate when the world seems so huge. The bats quickly learn that they can't tease little!Jason because he'll shut down fast to protect himself. The bats realize that that's what big!Jason does around them too, it's just more on display here. Jason always feels like he has to protect himself from being hurt or come across as if things don't affect him as deeply as they do. Little!Jason can't keep up that charade. Sometimes they accidentally make him cry and do everything they can to quickly rectify it.
♥ At first, the bats try to offer an olive branch to Jason as to say "his regressions are no big deal--we don't see you as any different!" by trying to rib him about it. As you can imagine, this does not go over well and makes Jason feel incredibly embarrassed and insecure that he "needs to cope in a weird way that they don't have/need to." Of course, such a faux pas shoves Jason back in his box, and, like a wounded animal, they need to cox him back out of it, apologizing and promising its safe. Jason is looking and craving the safety he's been deprived of his whole life, and his vulnerability can't take so many hits. As a kid, hiding was safe, and he's not above falling back on such a tried-and-true method
♥ Sometimes Jason fears that his family only likes him when he's little because "he's less difficult" and "they can forget who he is" by imposing their idea of what kind of person Jason would be if he didn't "have so much trauma" (i.e.: Bruce can "pretend Jason never died"). Sometimes Jason feels as though they're only nice to little him because that's the "good Jason," that they only started being nice to him because they found out about this side of Jason and not because they realized they were hurting All of Jason. This leads to depressive episodes where Jason pulls back which are made worse when the bats first solution is always to comfort him with little space time--it's taken as "they just want that version of him to make this situation easier."
♥ It takes some time, and a lot of effort, for them all to find a balance with each other. To earn little!Jason's trust, the bats realize they need to strengthen their family relations with Jason--All of Jason. The bats have been doing a lot of "realizing" about Jason as of late. They start actively trying to include Jason by inviting him to family events that for so long Jason was excluded (consciously or subconsciously) from. It...weighs heavy on the bats once they stop and think about how they only talk to Jason about vigilantism, that they practically only invite him to "all-hands on deck" emergencies, that they hardly see his face from under the helmet, let alone without a mask. (Wait until they notice Jason's white bangs growing out for the first time because they didn't even know Jason had a white lock of hair that "needed" to be dyed in the first place). I think...the bats thought they had a different kind of relationship with Jason, a stronger one where they knew more about each other and the inner workings of their personal lives, than the one they had in reality--that they hadn't actually gotten to the spot they believe they had with Jason. They thought, for example, they could tease Jason about certain things they weren't actually close enough to have the privilege of speaking on which caused a strain in the relationship. It something they're working on.
ʚ🐞ྀིྀིɞ ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ʚ🐞ྀིྀིɞ
