#jaycaz

[emotionaldisgrace]

I know stupid shit like this is why I'm stuck on you. The bar next door is playing save the last dance for me and I'm lying here thinking about that stupid night we danced in our lounge room with me in my ball dress. I hate you.

[emotionaldisgrace]

I don't think I have ever felt as strongly connected to my father in my life. We now finally have something that both of us can understand about the other. He loved my mother so completely. He would have been with her forever. He would have given everyone else up if it meant he had her. And she left him. She broke his heart beyond repair and he has never let anyone else ever have that much power over his heart since. I understand that now. That heartbreak in its purest most painful form of loving someone so completely for them to toss you aside like you were nothing to throw years with them back in your face and go from your best friend the one you would spend your life with, give everyone up for, do anything for, to leave you and become this person so different from the one you knew. Never ever again will I allow myself to get close enough to someone that they can destroy me heart and soul like that again. To make my heart literally hurt. To make my chest actually hurts. To make me sick at the thought of them being with someone else. Never again will I ever let anyone do this to me.