Dial
↳ pairing: jay park x reader genre: angst, mentions of smut word count: 1.3k synopsis: It was always just sex for him. He knew you felt for him, but he couldn’t find it in him to feel for you. You were tired of it, yet answered his drunken calls every time.
She did it again. She answered his drunken phone call once again. The moment his caller I.D popped up on her phone, there was no doubt that he was drunk. He didn’t call unless he was. Yet again, here she was sitting in the middle of her bed with the sheets wrapped around her naked body watching him get dressed. With a soft sigh, she reached forward and grabbed his hand right before he began to walk away.
“Why don’t you stay this time?” She asked, biting the inside of her lip as she looked up at him with soft eyes, desperately wanting more than just sex from him. He just looked down at her and gave her a small smirk followed by a scoff.
“You know I don’t do this whole, staying over bullshit. Jesus Y/N, I told you this on day one.” Jay rolled his eyes, licking over his lips before leaning over and planting a kiss on her forehead. “I’m sorry babygirl. I’ll text you okay?”
Y/N just nodded, letting him walk away from her again. He wouldn’t text her and they both knew it. She sighed as tears filled her eyes once her front door closed shut. “I can’t keep doing this..” She thought to herself, getting up and heading for a nice long shower.
“God, you’re so beautiful” Jay whispered, coming down from his high, leaning down and capturing her lips in his before he pulled out of her, laying down next to her. After a few minutes, he disposed of the condom and stood up, gathering his clothes together.
She was more disappointed in herself than in him this time. She told herself that she was not gonna answer any more, that things were finished yet here she was once more watching him get dressed. Things should have been different this time, the sex surely was. It was intimate, passionate, full him complimenting her and bringing her these out of this world orgasms. What happened? Her eyebrows scrunched together, eyes still trained on his bare back. Every single time he went out and drank even just the slightest he’d call for her. She didn’t understand it. Finally tired of his games, she spoke up.
“Why don’t you stay with me Jay? You call me every time you get drunk, the least you could do is stay with me at night. Do you not care how I feel for you?” Y/N rose from the bed, bunching the sheet up around her as she approached him. “I hate it when you leave, or when you do all these boyfriend type things when I get around your friends but don’t ever wanna claim me.”
She knew she was pushing his buttons, but she was tired of being just another chick to him. Far too much had gone on between them for him to treat her this way. They had too many memories together for it to always be this way. Y/N looked up at him to see him staring dead at her, taking everything she said in and processing it. Jay let out a huff and sat down on the bed, rubbing his hands on his face.
“I don’t stay because staying allows feelings to start and I can’t have those. I don’t need a girl to avert my attention from making money and getting my music made. I need to have the right head space, not clouded by tryna’ keep some girl happy” Jay thought aloud as he pulled her close to him, hoping he’d picked the right words to say to her. He wanted her to understand that he needed to stay on his work grind, that was most important to him. “I’m not even drunk this time, you take that stress away but I don’t want more right now, you don’t need to be around this business anyway.”
She laughed. There was nothing else for her to do but laugh at his words. It was that or cry and she chose the latter. Y/N pushed away from him before pointing at the door. “Get the fuck out.” Y/N said calmly, closing her eyes for a moment and taking a breath. “Get out now Jay. I don’t want to see you again. Ever.” When she opened her eyes, he was getting up but instead of walking away he was coming towards her.
“Babygirl, don’t say that. You know you still want me around you.” Jay spoke lightly, putting his arms out for her, only to be shoved back away. His anger spiked then. “Stop being a little bitch, Y/N! How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t love you?!” He shouted, pinning against the wall as his voice increased. He was lying to himself, he did love her but he wasn’t up for games and needed to be focused on music, not her, even it caused them both pain.”Don’t you get what makes us different from other couples? Our relationship is like a cool breeze in the dark shadows. It’s fine just the way it is, stop trying to ruin it!” Jay panting once he finished, trying to catch his breath while looking into her eyes as they filled with tears.
“Y-You bastard..” She whispered before shoving him away from her once more and pushing him towards the door to her apart. “Get out Jay. Just get the fuck out..” Y/N slammed the door in his face and sunk to the bottom instantly, loud sobs leaving her lips as he listened from the other side.He eventually left, leaving her in peace to deal with the heartbreak. She stayed there for the rest of the night, hoping to get rid of anything she felt towards him, deciding ultimately what she needed to do.
One Month Later
He hadn’t seen or talked to her since that night. Jay fucked up. He knew he did from the moment he left her apartment that night, knowing damn well he should have stayed with her. He had been in love with her for a long time but things were never gonna work out, at least that’s what he thought. If he was gonna be in a relationship with someone, he wanted to be there for them and treat them right but with the way his schedule was right now, that wasn’t possible. Although he wanted to forget her, she never seemed to leave his mind. Every single moment he spent awake, she occupied it. Hell even when he did sleep he had dreams of her. He hated that she never left his mind, it fucking killed him especially when flashes of her crying against her door crept in his mind.
He was messing up all his lyrics. This was a crucial night in the studio for him and he couldn’t even get the lyrics right and if they were, he wasn’t on beat. Nothing was going right for him anymore. Jay needed her more than ever right now. Just seeing Y/N’s face on the studio couch would be enough to keep himself at bay. It was her who kept his focus on the music, it had always been her.
“Aye, man listen I have to make a phone call. I’ll be right back” Jay said grabbing his phone off the desk and making his way through the building till he reached the bottom floor. Jay stepped out and quickly found her contact, taking a deep breath.He was gonna confess to her, everything he had felt since he first met her. He would explain that he didn’t just want sex from her that night or any other night, he wanted more. That he wanted to look up from the mic and see her standing there watching him do his thing. With a bright smile on his face, he pressed the call button and put it up to his ear. The phone had barely been at his ear for a second before his whole word came crashing down.
The number you entered could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again.
