Foreign Letters - Chapter Two
~MASTERLIST~
Summary: Denny continues to read the letters as June gives him more memoirs and reveals her inner conflicts.
Word Count: 2472
A/N: Sooo, Chapter Two of pure suffering and sadness coming your way. Let me know if you like it and leave feedback!
Warnings: angst (obviously)
Tagging: @jeffreyfuckingdeanmorgan , @jdms-network and no one since nobody told me they wanted to be tagged.
Let me know if you want to be tagged!
(gif originally posted by @jdm-negan-mcnaughty )
Time will take us all but I can’t let her go.
Denny stared at the last three words of the letter he was currently holding, “giggles and delight.” He let a small smile grace his lips as tears fell onto the paper, creating some darker spots. He hugged the letter close to his fresh scar, somehow hoping that the door would open and she walks in.
He wanted to hear her delighted giggles and jokes one last time. Feel her touch, her small, fragile body pressed against his. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen. And that thought killed him more and more as he reminded himself of it.
Shaking his head and tearing his thoughts away from the hope of ever seeing her again, he put the letter on his lap and picked up the letter with the number two on it.
This time, he didn’t hesitate and decided to open the letter, knowing that reliving the happy memories and conversations would not ease the pain but, at least, help to remind him of her as a person.
He ripped the envelope open and took out two papers, one a normal white, the other a slight yellowish tint. Denny recognized the page in an instant and took a closer look at it to confirm his suspicions.
It was a page of her favorite book, “The Old Man and The Sea” by Ernest Hemmingway. A chuckle escaped his mouth at the remembrance they shared through this tiny book. Denny breathed in the familiar scent the book held, the worn-out paper rough against his fingertips.
He put the page down and laid the necklace he received in the first letter down on it, careful so it doesn’t slip from his lap. Although, he knew what she wanted to tell him with said page, he was still unsure whether he wanted to confirm it. He had never read the book but June raved about it so much, he was sure he could tell the story without any problems.
His gaze fell back on the snow-white paper which held another message of hers in it. He took a deep breath, in through his nostrils and out through his mouth, holding his tears back.
—
I bet you recognised the page, right? Sure, you did, I couldn’t shut up about it. Sometimes I wondered how you put up with my rambles and still seemed so interested anytime we’d discuss about it.
I remember our very first conversation about it like it was yesterday and it was honestly one of the best and most relieving talks I’ve had since arriving in the hospital.
—
June exited her hospital room, closing the white, heavy door behind her while guiding her I.V pole along with her. She looked around, politely greeting the nurses and doctors that passed her.
She arrived at Denny’s station faster than she expected and slowed her pace down, nerves already crashing her thoughts like tsunami waves. A few of the nurses that helped Denny the previous day passed her, their faces lighting up when they spotted the purple headscarf.
The old lady breezed past June, scaring her and almost knocking her over. She recognized her in an instant and stopped her steps, smiling apologetically at June, “I’m sorry, dear, I didn’t notice you immediately. Are you here to visit Denny?”
June’s pale face flushed a bright red, her gaze falling on the hospital walls and equipment, “Uhhh, yes. We, I, uhm, decided to get to know each other I guess?” She sheepishly smiled, scratching her arm in a nervous gesture.
The older woman began to laugh and touched June’s shoulder, “No need to be nervous. Denny couldn’t shut up about you throughout my whole shift yesterday. Just, keep in mind that he’s bed bound for the next few days.” She winked at her, giving her a soft pat on the shoulder and walking towards another room, disappearing behind the door.
June nodded despite that the nurse couldn’t see her anymore. She took a deep breath, smoothing her clothes out as if that would make her look any better and decided to go for it.
—
Denny’s head snapped up from the newspaper he currently held in his hands as a soft knock echoed through his room. He waited a couple of seconds, not saying anything and furrowed his brows when no one entered, “Come in!” He called out and that’s when a click was heard, the door slowly opening.
A dimpled smile spread on his face when he saw a purple scarf and picked up the sounds of squeaking wheels. A slightly anxious looking June closed the door behind her and stood in the middle of the room.
“Hello June! How are you?” Denny cut the awkward silence short, her green eyes staring back into his own. He saw her posture relax and a genuine smile gracing her lips.
“Hi Denny.” She breathed, “I’m fine and how about you? I heard you’re bedbound again.” Her comment coaxed a chuckle out of his throat as he averted his gaze elsewhere and June took a seat in the armchair beside the bed.
“Yeah yeah, I’m better now. You just caught me off guard yesterday.” He defended while he felt his skin heat up and he fumbled with the newspaper. He tensed up as he felt June’s small hand cover his own. He let his gaze travel upwards, slowing down when it landed on her.
Denny noticed her leaning forward with a reassuring smile, “I know that you’re just as nervous as I am but relax a bit, okay? Let’s get to know each other.” Denny nodded in response, immediately relaxing at her soft touch and caring voice.
He had no idea what it was about her that put him under a spell. Maybe it was the way she carried herself or the way she could make anything and anybody smile with a simple gesture. But what he knew was that she somehow already started to brighten up his day, make him forget that he could die at any given moment.
“Okay, can I ask you a few things?” Denny asked, a feeling of delight spreading within him when she gave an enthusiastic nod, “So, you’re obviously from England, where exactly and why are you in the States?”
June weighed out her answer for a few seconds. Should she be 100% honest from the beginning and just go for it or be cautious and not reveal too much yet. Her head screamed at her to stand up and get out of here.
He was only pitying you. You’re going to die soon anyway, why hurt more people than you already are? Get out of this situation, he deserves to live a happy life and that’s something he could find without you. Don’t give him an extra amount of problems and things to worry about, he has more than enough on his own.
Tears sprang to June’s eyes but she was quick to wipe them away with the sleeve of her hoodie. She focused back on Denny and saw him waiting for an answer, not noticing the conflict in her.
Or he noticed and simply doesn’t care? Her head suggested. But June decided to ignore him for now and focus on getting to know Denny better.
“I was born in Eastbourne, that’s like an hour or so away from London and right by the sea.” She started off, reveling in the memories of her hometown. “As to why I decided to move overseas, there was nothing holding me there anymore.” Truthfully, she missed everything in England but it was filled with bad experiences and represented some of the worst moments in her life. She didn’t want to visit those places again, she didn’t care to.
Denny’s smiling face was covered by a worried expression, knowing she wasn’t telling him everything. He didn’t expect her to but he was curious and wanted to know everything from her best to her worst memories. An internal conflict started unfolding in his mind, not sure if he should press the matter or just leave it be. He didn’t want to come across as rude or too nosy.
“Why the worried look?” June chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood but to no avail. The tension in her shoulders returned and the gremlin in her head was currently rubbing its hands, delighted that there was no one she could hurt but herself.
“I’m sorry.” Denny apologized, his hands starting to tremble a bit, “I didn’t mean to invade your privacy like that, it was just… I’m really curious about you and your life. I want to get to know you better.” He whispered the last part more to himself, but she heard him loud and clear as there was no noise in the whole room.
June’s eyebrows shot up, surprised that he was quite the contrary of what she originally thought he’d be. Curious, intrigued and, most importantly, genuine. Her inner gremlin retreated back into his hole while mumbling, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. If he hurts you, I’m not going to do anything. You only have yourself to blame.”
“Oh no, you don’t have to apologize.” She waved her hands around in a rejecting gesture, trying to wave his doubting thoughts out of his head, “The truth is, I’m not used to opening up to someone, I keep to myself most of the time but I don’t mean any harm by it. It’s just the way I am since I was like twenty-one.” Admitting her difficulty about opening up and being open and honest about it felt brilliant, like a thousand pounds lifted off her shoulders.
Denny stared back at her, his mouth agape in awe at her honesty and the way she easily identified the problem. He felt himself falling into the depths of something he could not yet identify and wasn’t ready to take it that far yet.
“Okay, let’s just be completely honest with each other from now on, does that sound like a good plan?” Denny suggested, his gaze filled with hope and curiosity.
June nodded in agreement and leaned back into the chair, crossing her legs. She noted that his vision as no longer fixed on hers but on the small bag that hung on her I.V pole, “What’s in there?” He nodded his head toward the white bag for emphasis.
She went to open the plastic bag and took out a small, thin book. Its cover looked well used as did the corners of the book. She stretched her arm out, handing Denny the book. He gripped the book and inspected it, “It’s my favorite book of all time, it’s “The Old Man And The Sea” by Ernest Hemmingway. I have read it more than I care to remember and it was always a book I could rely on to make me a bit nostalgic, sad but happy at the same time. It’s brilliant.“
Denny’s deep brown eyes wandered from the book onto June as she started rambling about the book and it sent a big grin on his face. Her eyes sparkled and her body language was much more open and readable. He sensed the passion radiating off her, her excited smile and the aura around her changed too. It was like magic.
They then spent the rest of the day talking about the positives in their lives rather than the bad. They both soon noticed that it was getting dark outside and that June had to go back into her own room to eat dinner and get her daily medications.
June stood up, shaking her legs as they had fallen asleep and felt a bit weak after sitting and talking for hours. They exchanged a smile as she stepped closer to his bed, sitting down on the edge. She took his cold hands into her much warmer ones and squeezed them, "Thank you for today Denny. I had a lot of fun and finally got to relax for a bit. It means a lot to me.”
Denny brought one of his hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles, his eyes never leaving her own. She let out a small giggle as her cheeks blushed in a deep red. He let go of her hand and sent a wink her way, striking a pose that he still got his charm.
June wanted to stand up but something held her back, causing her to hesitate. She bit her lower lip, the gremlin already sticking its head out of its hole. But June pushed him back inside again and leaned forward, locking her arms around his neck in order to embrace him.
Denny tensed up at her sudden embrace but recovered rather fast and relaxed, hugging her back. He took a deep breath as he wanted to imprint her smell in his memory and never forget it. He almost let out a whine when they parted but was able to control his wants and needs.
She gripped her pole and wheeled it to the door, gripping its handle. “See you tomorrow.” She called over her shoulder and left the room, leaving Denny with his thoughts and a goofy grin.
—
At the end of the day, that book was the one thing we had to distract ourselves from the negativity surrounding us. And, for once, I was glad that I had that stupid plastic bag hanging on my I.V.
But I never got to tell you what the book meant to me from that day on. Its entire meaning changed in a matter of a couple hours.
In the book, on the eighty-fifth day of the fisherman’s unlucky streak, he was pulled away by the line he was holding onto to catch a gigantic fish, which was his only hope and dream. He struggled against the fish for three days before he was finally able to kill him. When he swam back towards land, he was attacked by a flock of sharks that got attracted by the blood of the dead fish he had. The sharks kept eating away his catch, finally having devoured all of it and with it the fisherman’s hopes and dreams.
And I somewhat felt the same way. I felt like after my diagnosis, my hopes and dreams were gone. I wasn’t afraid of dying but I was afraid of dying with regrets. But then I bumped into you and I, for once, felt like I had a piece of my hope and dreams back.
But, my inner conflicts and demons began to eat you away from me, they didn’t want me to get close to anybody anymore since I was dying. But, unlike the fisherman, I managed to hold onto my only hope, you, and allow you to get close to me. I felt whole again, like I had something worth living for, for the rest of my days.
I knew I was going to die without regrets.