General Post Office poster reminding the public of the minimum postage rate of 4 pence for foreign letters (c. 1950). The Commonwealth rate of 2 pence applies to the British Commonwealth and certain other countries. Artwork by Kenneth Bromfield.
Summary: Denny continues to read the letters as June gives him more memoirs and reveals her inner conflicts.
Word Count: 2472
A/N: Sooo, Chapter Two of pure suffering and sadness coming your way. Let me know if you like it and leave feedback!
Warnings: angst (obviously)
Tagging: @jeffreyfuckingdeanmorgan , @jdms-network and no one since nobody told me they wanted to be tagged.
Let me know if you want to be tagged!
(gif originally posted by @jdm-negan-mcnaughty )
Time will take us all but I can’t let her go.
Denny stared at the last three words of the letter he was currently holding, “giggles and delight.” He let a small smile grace his lips as tears fell onto the paper, creating some darker spots. He hugged the letter close to his fresh scar, somehow hoping that the door would open and she walks in.
He wanted to hear her delighted giggles and jokes one last time. Feel her touch, her small, fragile body pressed against his. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen. And that thought killed him more and more as he reminded himself of it.
Shaking his head and tearing his thoughts away from the hope of ever seeing her again, he put the letter on his lap and picked up the letter with the number two on it.
This time, he didn’t hesitate and decided to open the letter, knowing that reliving the happy memories and conversations would not ease the pain but, at least, help to remind him of her as a person.
He ripped the envelope open and took out two papers, one a normal white, the other a slight yellowish tint. Denny recognized the page in an instant and took a closer look at it to confirm his suspicions.
It was a page of her favorite book, “The Old Man and The Sea” by Ernest Hemmingway. A chuckle escaped his mouth at the remembrance they shared through this tiny book. Denny breathed in the familiar scent the book held, the worn-out paper rough against his fingertips.
He put the page down and laid the necklace he received in the first letter down on it, careful so it doesn’t slip from his lap. Although, he knew what she wanted to tell him with said page, he was still unsure whether he wanted to confirm it. He had never read the book but June raved about it so much, he was sure he could tell the story without any problems.
His gaze fell back on the snow-white paper which held another message of hers in it. He took a deep breath, in through his nostrils and out through his mouth, holding his tears back.
—
I bet you recognised the page, right? Sure, you did, I couldn’t shut up about it. Sometimes I wondered how you put up with my rambles and still seemed so interested anytime we’d discuss about it.
I remember our very first conversation about it like it was yesterday and it was honestly one of the best and most relieving talks I’ve had since arriving in the hospital.
—
June exited her hospital room, closing the white, heavy door behind her while guiding her I.V pole along with her. She looked around, politely greeting the nurses and doctors that passed her.
She arrived at Denny’s station faster than she expected and slowed her pace down, nerves already crashing her thoughts like tsunami waves. A few of the nurses that helped Denny the previous day passed her, their faces lighting up when they spotted the purple headscarf.
The old lady breezed past June, scaring her and almost knocking her over. She recognized her in an instant and stopped her steps, smiling apologetically at June, “I’m sorry, dear, I didn’t notice you immediately. Are you here to visit Denny?”
June’s pale face flushed a bright red, her gaze falling on the hospital walls and equipment, “Uhhh, yes. We, I, uhm, decided to get to know each other I guess?” She sheepishly smiled, scratching her arm in a nervous gesture.
The older woman began to laugh and touched June’s shoulder, “No need to be nervous. Denny couldn’t shut up about you throughout my whole shift yesterday. Just, keep in mind that he’s bed bound for the next few days.” She winked at her, giving her a soft pat on the shoulder and walking towards another room, disappearing behind the door.
June nodded despite that the nurse couldn’t see her anymore. She took a deep breath, smoothing her clothes out as if that would make her look any better and decided to go for it.
—
Denny’s head snapped up from the newspaper he currently held in his hands as a soft knock echoed through his room. He waited a couple of seconds, not saying anything and furrowed his brows when no one entered, “Come in!” He called out and that’s when a click was heard, the door slowly opening.
A dimpled smile spread on his face when he saw a purple scarf and picked up the sounds of squeaking wheels. A slightly anxious looking June closed the door behind her and stood in the middle of the room.
“Hello June! How are you?” Denny cut the awkward silence short, her green eyes staring back into his own. He saw her posture relax and a genuine smile gracing her lips.
“Hi Denny.” She breathed, “I’m fine and how about you? I heard you’re bedbound again.” Her comment coaxed a chuckle out of his throat as he averted his gaze elsewhere and June took a seat in the armchair beside the bed.
“Yeah yeah, I’m better now. You just caught me off guard yesterday.” He defended while he felt his skin heat up and he fumbled with the newspaper. He tensed up as he felt June’s small hand cover his own. He let his gaze travel upwards, slowing down when it landed on her.
Denny noticed her leaning forward with a reassuring smile, “I know that you’re just as nervous as I am but relax a bit, okay? Let’s get to know each other.” Denny nodded in response, immediately relaxing at her soft touch and caring voice.
He had no idea what it was about her that put him under a spell. Maybe it was the way she carried herself or the way she could make anything and anybody smile with a simple gesture. But what he knew was that she somehow already started to brighten up his day, make him forget that he could die at any given moment.
“Okay, can I ask you a few things?” Denny asked, a feeling of delight spreading within him when she gave an enthusiastic nod, “So, you’re obviously from England, where exactly and why are you in the States?”
June weighed out her answer for a few seconds. Should she be 100% honest from the beginning and just go for it or be cautious and not reveal too much yet. Her head screamed at her to stand up and get out of here.
He was only pitying you. You’re going to die soon anyway, why hurt more people than you already are? Get out of this situation, he deserves to live a happy life and that’s something he could find without you. Don’t give him an extra amount of problems and things to worry about, he has more than enough on his own.
Tears sprang to June’s eyes but she was quick to wipe them away with the sleeve of her hoodie. She focused back on Denny and saw him waiting for an answer, not noticing the conflict in her.
Or he noticed and simply doesn’t care? Her head suggested. But June decided to ignore him for now and focus on getting to know Denny better.
“I was born in Eastbourne, that’s like an hour or so away from London and right by the sea.” She started off, reveling in the memories of her hometown. “As to why I decided to move overseas, there was nothing holding me there anymore.” Truthfully, she missed everything in England but it was filled with bad experiences and represented some of the worst moments in her life. She didn’t want to visit those places again, she didn’t care to.
Denny’s smiling face was covered by a worried expression, knowing she wasn’t telling him everything. He didn’t expect her to but he was curious and wanted to know everything from her best to her worst memories. An internal conflict started unfolding in his mind, not sure if he should press the matter or just leave it be. He didn’t want to come across as rude or too nosy.
“Why the worried look?” June chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood but to no avail. The tension in her shoulders returned and the gremlin in her head was currently rubbing its hands, delighted that there was no one she could hurt but herself.
“I’m sorry.” Denny apologized, his hands starting to tremble a bit, “I didn’t mean to invade your privacy like that, it was just… I’m really curious about you and your life. I want to get to know you better.” He whispered the last part more to himself, but she heard him loud and clear as there was no noise in the whole room.
June’s eyebrows shot up, surprised that he was quite the contrary of what she originally thought he’d be. Curious, intrigued and, most importantly, genuine. Her inner gremlin retreated back into his hole while mumbling, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. If he hurts you, I’m not going to do anything. You only have yourself to blame.”
“Oh no, you don’t have to apologize.” She waved her hands around in a rejecting gesture, trying to wave his doubting thoughts out of his head, “The truth is, I’m not used to opening up to someone, I keep to myself most of the time but I don’t mean any harm by it. It’s just the way I am since I was like twenty-one.” Admitting her difficulty about opening up and being open and honest about it felt brilliant, like a thousand pounds lifted off her shoulders.
Denny stared back at her, his mouth agape in awe at her honesty and the way she easily identified the problem. He felt himself falling into the depths of something he could not yet identify and wasn’t ready to take it that far yet.
“Okay, let’s just be completely honest with each other from now on, does that sound like a good plan?” Denny suggested, his gaze filled with hope and curiosity.
June nodded in agreement and leaned back into the chair, crossing her legs. She noted that his vision as no longer fixed on hers but on the small bag that hung on her I.V pole, “What’s in there?” He nodded his head toward the white bag for emphasis.
She went to open the plastic bag and took out a small, thin book. Its cover looked well used as did the corners of the book. She stretched her arm out, handing Denny the book. He gripped the book and inspected it, “It’s my favorite book of all time, it’s “The Old Man And The Sea” by Ernest Hemmingway. I have read it more than I care to remember and it was always a book I could rely on to make me a bit nostalgic, sad but happy at the same time. It’s brilliant.“
Denny’s deep brown eyes wandered from the book onto June as she started rambling about the book and it sent a big grin on his face. Her eyes sparkled and her body language was much more open and readable. He sensed the passion radiating off her, her excited smile and the aura around her changed too. It was like magic.
They then spent the rest of the day talking about the positives in their lives rather than the bad. They both soon noticed that it was getting dark outside and that June had to go back into her own room to eat dinner and get her daily medications.
June stood up, shaking her legs as they had fallen asleep and felt a bit weak after sitting and talking for hours. They exchanged a smile as she stepped closer to his bed, sitting down on the edge. She took his cold hands into her much warmer ones and squeezed them, "Thank you for today Denny. I had a lot of fun and finally got to relax for a bit. It means a lot to me.”
Denny brought one of his hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles, his eyes never leaving her own. She let out a small giggle as her cheeks blushed in a deep red. He let go of her hand and sent a wink her way, striking a pose that he still got his charm.
June wanted to stand up but something held her back, causing her to hesitate. She bit her lower lip, the gremlin already sticking its head out of its hole. But June pushed him back inside again and leaned forward, locking her arms around his neck in order to embrace him.
Denny tensed up at her sudden embrace but recovered rather fast and relaxed, hugging her back. He took a deep breath as he wanted to imprint her smell in his memory and never forget it. He almost let out a whine when they parted but was able to control his wants and needs.
She gripped her pole and wheeled it to the door, gripping its handle. “See you tomorrow.” She called over her shoulder and left the room, leaving Denny with his thoughts and a goofy grin.
—
At the end of the day, that book was the one thing we had to distract ourselves from the negativity surrounding us. And, for once, I was glad that I had that stupid plastic bag hanging on my I.V.
But I never got to tell you what the book meant to me from that day on. Its entire meaning changed in a matter of a couple hours.
In the book, on the eighty-fifth day of the fisherman’s unlucky streak, he was pulled away by the line he was holding onto to catch a gigantic fish, which was his only hope and dream. He struggled against the fish for three days before he was finally able to kill him. When he swam back towards land, he was attacked by a flock of sharks that got attracted by the blood of the dead fish he had. The sharks kept eating away his catch, finally having devoured all of it and with it the fisherman’s hopes and dreams.
And I somewhat felt the same way. I felt like after my diagnosis, my hopes and dreams were gone. I wasn’t afraid of dying but I was afraid of dying with regrets. But then I bumped into you and I, for once, felt like I had a piece of my hope and dreams back.
But, my inner conflicts and demons began to eat you away from me, they didn’t want me to get close to anybody anymore since I was dying. But, unlike the fisherman, I managed to hold onto my only hope, you, and allow you to get close to me. I felt whole again, like I had something worth living for, for the rest of my days.
To hear someone describe the fear, pride, isolation, vulnerability, etc. that they feel on a daily basis as a result of being an immigrant in the United States is stirring to say the least. We spoke to four young Americans about their personal experiences living as immigrants in this country - their words will move you.
"America is My Home" - Great Stories of Immigration
Summary: After June’s passing, Denny is given a few letters.
Word Count: 2170
A/N: I finally decided to write for another character and it’s our beloved Denny! He’s one of my faves and deserves the world. But if you know me, you know he won’t get it in this story. @jeffreyfuckingdeanmorgan is the one responsible for that chapter being posted, so blame her.
Please let me know what you think and leave your feedback.
Let me know if you want to be tagged. And to everyone already tagged, please let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future Denny fics.
(gif originally posted by @heartfulloffandoms )
Be thankful for today, because in one moment, your entire life can change.
Denny held the envelopes in his hands, looking at them with tears threatening to overflow his eyes. He sniffled and hiccupped a few times before he rubbed his eyes, catching a few tears.
He got out of surgery with a brand new, healthy heart. He was excited to show June how warm his hands could be, how he could also have a steady, normal heartbeat. But the joy was quickly taken away from him as soon as Izzie informed him of her passing.
Not entirely sure how to process that kind of information, he sent Izzie away, just wanting to be left alone with his sorrow. He was always sure that he would be the first of them to leave this earth, not her.
Denny’s attention was brought back to his empty hospital room as a nurse entered the room.
“Denny,” she sent a pitiful smile his way, “I’m just checking up on you to see if everything is okay with your new heart and yourself.” She spoke as she checked the monitors he was attached to and wrote them down on her chart.
“Blood pressure; a bit low. Pulse; normal and oxygen; good.” She mumbled as she brushed a few strands of gray hair that had fallen out of her bun behind her ear and readjusted her glasses on her nose.
“Lydia,” he spoke, his voice raspy and heavy, “did you know her well?” He lifted the letters in his hand a bit to emphasize who he meant.
The older woman thought for a moment, biting her lower lip in deep thought, “Hardly, but yes. She was really popular amongst the others that worked there. She was always someone we talked about.” She smiled, remembering the countless stories her colleagues have told her about June.
Denny’s empty, deep brown eyes fell back on the letters in his hand. He once again sniffled a couple of times until he finally decided to let some of his pent-up emotions out.
He laid the paper down onto the white hospital sheets and covered his eyes with his hands. His breathing began to get labored while sobs escaped his mouth.
Lydia enveloped her small, calloused hands around his bigger ones, giving him a stern look over her glasses.
“Listen closely, Denny. I don’t know what’s inside those letters. But I have a strong feeling that it might be important to both you and her. Read them. It’s not going to hurt less or make the pain go away, but it’ll make it easier.” She ordered, sounding like a mother lecturing her child.
Denny stared at her for a moment, his glassy eyes boring into Lydia’s and his bottom lip quivering. She rubbed her thumbs over his knuckles and gave him an encouraging nod.
“I don’t know if I can take this Lydia.” He whispered, looking around the hospital room in a panicked state as more tears rolled down his puffy cheeks.
The nurse began to shush him soothingly and shook his hands a bit, “You overcame so much without her and you will get back on that path again. It takes time but you’re strong. Please, Denny.” She pleaded, fixing her gaze on the letters in his lap.
Denny’s block of uncertainty started to melt away a bit as Lydia encouraged him more. His body tensed and his breath hitched as she leaned in to give him a hug, careful to not rip out any of his I.V cables.
The old woman marched back towards the door and opened it, leaving the grieving air of the room.
Denny stared into nothingness for a few seconds more before he secured his decision and picked one of the letters up. He breathed in the scent of the paper, that held a faint note of coconuts in it.
He carefully opened the lid and pulled out the paper along with a necklace. He furrowed his brows, not sure what it was until he took a closer look at the pendant. He recognized it as one of hers that she always wore, a rose gold tulip.
Denny wrapped the band around his hand and squeezed it with the little strength he possessed. He unfolded the paper, looking at her neat handwriting and began to read..
—
Hello old man,
When you’re reading this, it means that I left before you did. I’m not going to pretend like I wasn’t suspecting this to be the outcome. I had a feeling.
But don’t cry too much, okay? We both knew it bound to happen sooner or later. Also, I’m sure Lydia or Izzie wouldn’t know how to react.
But let’s not think about that too much right now. Do you still remember the first time we met and you instantly fell for me?
—
Denny strolled through the bright hospital corridors, happy that he wasn’t bound to his uncomfortable bed any longer than necessary. Although he felt a bit light headed, he felt free and that mattered the most to him in that moment.
As he was about to round a corner, he bumped into something, or rather somebody. Luckily, he was able to hold the much smaller person before they fell to their hands and knees.
“Careful there.” He chuckled as he recovered from the initial shock, “You’re going to make my heart weak again.”
The person took a step back, brushing off her clothes and lifting her head to look up at him. Her deep green eyes stared up at him as a small, embarrassed smile spread across her face.
“I’m sorry, mister. I was lost in thought and not really watching my steps.”
Denny felt like he was dreaming. Her adorable British accent made him want to faint. Literally.
His world suddenly started to spin as his vision grew darker and darker. He heard her shout for someone to help as he felt someone barely hold him up. Then, he was gone.
—
“Can someone please come and help me?! Don’t bloody faint on me. For god’s sake, you’re heavy.” She huffed, struggling to keep a firm grip on the stranger. She stood there with a man in her arms, barely able to stand straight as a nurse emerged from the office and bolted in her direction.
“What happened?” The older woman questioned, as other nurses ran out of the rooms around them. They immediately got to work and sat him down in a wheelchair.
“We bumped into each other, then, he just paled and… fainted.” June answered, her breathing picking up a bit in relief. The gray-haired woman nodded, sending June a small smile and turning to the nurses that were currently wheeling the man back into his room.
She took the cold I.V pole that has been her constant companion for the past weeks, deciding to walk after them. June heard the man starting to grumble and move again and was relieved when he answered the older nurse’s questions with a nod or hum.
“Is he going to be okay?” She asked a nurse that was making her way out of the room.
The nurse stopped in her tracks and faintly smiled at June, “Yes, yes. He probably forgot to eat and drink enough. Happens to him all the time.” She assured, waving her hands a bit.
June patiently waited by his doorframe for the nurses to finish lifting him into the bed and plug him to an I.V. soon after, he opened his eyes and blinked a few times with a big smile spreading on his face.
The nurses that were still in the room began to giggle when they saw Denny’s head lull from side to side like he was listening to music.
“What are you grinning about, Denny?” The oldest of the nurses asked him as she began to check on his vitals, nodding from time to time.
“I saw a beautiful angel.” He answered as his smile grew bigger and the dimples became deeper. The nurse frowned and looked back at June who leaned against the doorframe with a slight blush crawling up her neck.
“Does that angel have a purple headscarf?” She chuckled.
“Yes! That’s her!” Denny beamed like a child on Christmas Eve getting ready to open his gifts. “She also had a British accent. It was beautiful.” The nurses around him began to laugh, all their eyes on June who was trying to crawl inside herself.
After some time, when the nurses were sure nothing was going to happen to him, they left the room. June walked inside and closed the door behind herself.
Denny’s head snapped in her direction, hazel eyes meeting green ones. He was trying to figure out if he had some kind of hallucination from the I.V. June, on the other hand, wanted to say something but couldn’t utter a word.
“So, I’m hallucinating or dreaming, right?” He bit his lower lip in deep thought and slight nervousness. He didn’t know what it was about her, she just had an aura surrounding her that intrigued him like nothing has before.
June shook her head, “No, you’re not. I don’t know why you’d think that.” She looked around the room, avoiding his piercing eyes.
Denny almost told her to keep talking, her voice and accent were like music to his ears. He didn’t know why everything about her seemed to fascinate him.
June walked further into the room and sat down on a chair right beside the bed. She fumbled with her fingers, feeling slightly nervous by his intense stare that seemed to take in every inch of her.
“You’re not from this station, right?” He broke the silence with his husky, deep voice that almost made goosebumps appear on her skin. She felt drawn to the man in front of her and it scared her. She had never felt like this before, especially right after bumping into each other.
“No, I’m not. I’m from the oncology station.” She answered, swallowing a lump in her throat. He visibly leaned back into his pillows and looked at her with something in his eyes that she hadn’t seen in a long time. Understanding.
“That’s a nice necklace.” Denny commented, changing the topic as his gaze fixated on the pendant on her chest.
June immediately went to touch it and smiled at the memories surrounding said necklace. “Thank you. It was a gift from my family when I moved to the States.”
Denny nodded, listening to her every word. He wanted to know more about her. He wanted to know all the small things she liked or disliked, what she felt and how she felt. Just everything.
“Listen, I uhh have to go.” She went to stand up but before he thought about what he was doing, held onto her hand, stopping her in her tracks.
“Wait.. Thanks for, y'know, earlier.” He stuttered, facepalming himself internally at his poor choice of words.
She stared down at him with a hard look but it softened as soon as she saw that stupid, dimpled smile. “It’s no problem, really.” She smiled as he let her hand go and she grabbed her pole.
On her way to the door, a million thoughts ran through her mind. She knew she wanted to see him again, but how will she tell him that? It’s not like she was too outgoing or showed a lot of emotions in general.
June gripped the doorknob but before she opened the door, she turned around,
“What’s-”
“Will-”
They both looked at each other, completely dumbfounded. Their eyes widened in surprise soon followed by a fit of giggles and laughs erupting in the room.
“What did you want to say?” June asked as her laughing subsided faster than his.
“I wanted to know what your name is and if we’ll ever see each other again?” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, not sure if he went too far with the last part.
“June. June Faulkner and I’d very much like that.” June answered as a blush crept onto her face. Her purple headscarf falling a bit out of position as she scratched her head.
“I’m Denny Duquette.” He introduced himself, “How about we meet up here again? Just in case I’m bedbound once again.” He suggested, wringing his hands together.
June nodded and opened the door, “See you tomorrow then.” She stated, closing the door behind herself as Denny shook his head in disbelief but did a small fist bump.
He somehow got her to meet up with him again and she told him her name with a breathtaking smile. He couldn’t wait to coax that smile and those adorable giggles out of her again. In some odd way, he finally found something that made his stay at the hospital a bit more enjoyable.
—
As I was walking back to my room, I knew I was in deep trouble. I knew what I was getting myself into, but I wasn’t about to stop.
You were the reason that turned my dark, miserable day into one filled with giggles and delight.
