“Sit Back And You'll Hear A Tale”
Mattkind is best-known for her series of Jenny Everywhere-based NSFW stories, but this year she's got something rather different and altogether more wholesome: a crossover with a certain classic TV series!
Read it on DeviantArt or here under the cut.
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, A tale of a fateful trip That started from this tropic port Aboard this tiny ship. The mate was a mighty sailing man, The skipper brave and sure. Five passengers set sail that day For a three hour tour, a three hour tour. The weather started getting rough, The tiny ship was tossed, If not for the courage of the fearless crew The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost. The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle With Gilligan The Skipper too, The millionaire and his wife, The movie star The professor and Mary Ann, Here on Gilligan's Isle.
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Somewhere Between Worlds
A woman with short spikey brown hair dressed in Jeans and a shirt, along with a long trenchcoat, a red scraf around her neck, and goggles resting atop her head, was fighting a woman dressed similarly but with long brown hair. They sent punches and kicks at each other, blocking each others' moves perfectly before landing blows on each other at the same time. Finally there was a burst of energy, followed by a bright flash.
KABOOM.
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An Uncharted Desert Isle the 1960’s
Two men were sitting on the edge of a lagoon with fishing poles; one, a rather large man in a short-sleeved blue polo shirt, khaki pants, white sneakers and a black captain's cap. Next to him was a thinner, smaller man in a red long-sleeved rugby shirt with a white collar, blue bell-bottom jeans, both white socks and sneakers, and a white trademark sailor hat.
“This sure is peaceful”, Skipper said the the thinner man.
“You got that right little buddy,” replied the larger man.
This moment of peace was broken however as an unconscious woman fell from the sky, landing in the lagoon soaking the two men — who for their part quickly entered the water and pulled her out.
“She doesn’t look good, little buddy — we need to get her to camp and see if the Professor can help.”
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Cut to commercial
“The World's Best-Tasting Soft Drink!”
A can of Kooba Cola appears on screen.
Announcer: “Try The World's Newest and Best-Tasting Soft Drink! It's Delightfully Refreshing! And filled with 35 USP units of Vitamin B-1 for the Sake of Health and Nutrition!"
Static
We now return to Gilligan’s Island.
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The woman was now lying on a bed, wrapped in a blanket. Her eyes opened and she looked around. Standing around her were the two men; another, dark-haired man dressed in a white, long sleeved, dress-like shirt, khakis, and blue boat shoes; an older couple dressed in lounge wear; a black-haired woman dressed in a blue turtleneck, jeans, shoes and a straw hat with ribbons in her hair; and finally a tall woman in an evening gown.
“Relax, miss, you had quite the time. Tou’re lucky that Gilligan and the Skipper were fishing, or you’d have drowned!“ one said, pointing at the large and thin men. “My name is Roy Hinkley, but everyone just calls me the Professor.”
The older gentleman spoke next “I’m Thurston Howell III — and this is my wife Lovely” he said, planting a kiss on the cheek of the older lady.
“I’m Mary Ann Summers,” the brown-haired woman said.
“And I’m Gin....”
The woman on the bed cut her off. “You’re Ginger Grant, star of San Quentin Blues.” The woman blinked and tilted her head. “My name is Jenny Everywhere. I’m, well… everywhere... but where am I right now?”
The Professor spoke: “That's the thing, miss: we aren’t quite sure. See we were shipwrecked, and now we’re stuck here.”
“And you’re stuck here too, I’m afraid,” said the Skipper.
The woman sat on the edge of the bed and grinned. “Well, not necessarily. See, I have this power that will let me go anywhere — I can just take you wherever you want to go.”
The group looked at her and burst into cheers.
“Oh boy — we’re going home!” Gilligan said.
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A short while later, the group was standing by the lagoon in a circle holding hands.
“Okay, here we go,” Jenny when.
Suddenly she was hit from behind, flying across the beach and landing in the sand — seeing the long haired woman standing above her. She'd clearlly had a rough time, covered in dirt and mud and clearly with a very bad case of poison ivy.
”Miss me? I can’t wait to destroy you so I can get off this backwards island.”
Everywhere got to her feet and narrowing her eyes. “Nowhere.”
She got read to fight, but before she could, the Skipper came behind nowhere, grabbing her in a full Nelson as the Professor landed a blow to Nowhere’s jaw while the others headed for cover. Everywhere couldn’t help but be impressed. By their teamwork. They had Nowhere on the Ropes when Gilligan ran up.
“I’ll help you, Skipper!” he said trying to hit Nowhere in the head with a coconut — only to miss and hit the Skipper, who let go of the full Nelson and sent an elbow to the Professor’s face. Moving quickly, she grabbed Gilligan in a choke-hold, using him has a shield.
The Skipper screamed: “LITTLE BUDDY!”
“Now back off or — what was it you called him? — Little Buddy gets it,” Nowhere said with a smug grin.
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Cut to commercial
A black haired man dressed in a button-down shirt jeans ands boots walks thru a grocery store.
“Hi, my name is Jerry All and this is my store, All-Mart. If you need groceries at affordable prices, come on down to All-Mart — where you’re family.”
Static.
“You are watching KBBS Superior City on the ACME Network. And now, the thrilling to conclusion to Gilligan’s Island! How will the castaways get out of this one?”
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The group stood looking at Nowhere, who was still holding Gilligan. Everywhere made her move: she disappeared and quickly appeared behind Nowhere, grabbing her and making them both disappear, saving Gilligan but stranding the castaways once more.
The castaways ran to Gilligan, making sure he was okay.
“Little buddy I was so worried about you!” the Skipper said.
“Oh I’m okay — but what about Jenny?”
“I’m sure she’s alright,” replied Mr Howell. “After all — she’s Everywhere, right?”
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So this is the tale of the castaways, They're here for a long, long time, They'll have to make the best of things, It's an uphill climb. The first mate and the Skipper too, Will do their very best, To make the others comfortable, In their tropic island nest. No phone, no lights no motor cars, Not a single luxury, Like Robinson Crusoe, As primitive as can be. So join us here each week my friends, You're sure to get a smile, From seven stranded castaways, Here on “Gilligan's Isle”.
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Epilogue
Priplanus, the year 2000
A red-haired boy and and a tall older man walked along with a bubble-headed robot, the boy holding a device in his hand.
“This is where the signal came from, Doctor Smith.”
Out of a cave came the long-haired woman, glaring. The man grabbed the boy to use a shield “Oh no, William, she looks dangerous!”
DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON…
