Summary: After a painful IUD, you discover it wasn't necessary. But it sure does bring you and Jensen closer.
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Was this really worth it?
I mean, yeah, Jensen Ackles is gorgeous, charming, and basically the human embodiment of a Pinterest dream boyfriend-but was the agony worth it?
If you'd known that dating him would lead to this, with searing pain, blood, and a sincere belief that your uterus was actively trying to evict itself from your body, would you have gone through with it?
Honestly? Probably. Jensen was the best thing that ever happened to you. But that was beside the point.
Why do women always get the short end of the reproductive stick? Why did you have to endure this pain just to avoid having a baby?
That's exactly what you'd done: compromised your body. For love. Or at least for really good sex.
Sure, it had only been two weeks of dating, but you'd known from day one that while you adored Jensen, you weren't ready for kids. Especially when he already had two of his own.
His kids were amazing, and you'd already fallen for their cute faces and relentless energy, but parenting was not on your bingo card right now.
So, you'd taken action. Made a responsible, adult decision. You got an IUD.
Holy hell, why had no one warned you how much it would hurt? The cramping, the stabbing, the horror. It felt like a vengeful demon was using your ovaries as stress balls. The doctor said the pain and bleeding were "normal." Normal for what? Torture victims?
Now, you were curled up on your couch, heating pad blazing, hoping you might survive the night.
Your phone buzzed. Through bleary eyes and shaky hands, you answered. "Hey, you," you answered, biting your cheek to mask the pain.
"Hey, sweetheart," Jensen's warm voice rumbled through the speaker. "Haven't heard much from you today. Everything okay?"
God, he was perfect. "Hey, yeah, I'm good. Just...kinda rough day." You bit your lip as another cramp hit.
"Rough day? What happened?" His tone shifted from casual to concerned.
"Doctor's appointment," you said vaguely. "Nothing big."
"Aw, babe. Want me to come over? Or you come here? I can make soup, or we can cuddle. Or both." You could hear his smile.
"Jensen, I'm like...disgusting right now."
"You're cute even when you're disgusting." He paused. "Was that romantic or creepy? I can't tell."
You chuckled despite yourself. "A weirdly sweet mix of both."
"Perfect. Come over. Please?" He sounded like a little kid begging for a puppy.
"Fine," you groaned, pushing yourself up. "But if I die on the way, it's on you."
"Deal. See you soon, babe."
Twenty minutes later, you pulled into his driveway. The cramps were still there, but more manageable. Jensen was already outside, smiling brightly as you stepped from the car. "Hey! I'm so happy to see you. Feeling any better?"
You mustered a smile and hugged him. "A little bit. Thanks for convincing me to come over."
"Always," he said, leading you inside.
The moment you crossed the threshold, a sharp cramp hit. You doubled over, hand bracing against the wall as a pained groan escaped your lips.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Babe? What's wrong? Where does it hurt?" His voice climbed with each word, eyes wide as he hovered helplessly.
"I'm fine," you ground out through clenched teeth. "Just... woman stuff."
"Okay," he said, nodding rapidly. "Right. Okay. I can handle woman stuff. I have daughters. I know things." He guided you inside, mumbling to himself: "I mean, I don't really know things, but I'm learning."
He guided you to the couch, concern etched on his face. "Talk to me, sweetheart. This doesn't seem like just cramps, what's going on?"
You rubbed your hands over your face. There was no getting out of it now.
"I got an IUD today," you confessed quietly. "I didn't want to make it weird by talking about the future or anything, so I just went and did it. I knew I didn't want kids right now, and... yeah."
Silence.
You peeked at Jensen. His mouth was slightly open, his eyes wide. "A...What?"
"It's a...thing they put in my uterus to prevent babies. It's small. T-shaped. Very stabby."
"They stabbed you?" His jaw dropped. "In your uterus?!"
"Basically."
He looked shocked, horrified.
Yup. Grossed out. Typical guy.
You stood abruptly. "I should go."
"What?" He jumped up after you. "Why?"
"Because you're clearly grossed out, and I shouldn't have come."
He chuckled—not cruelly, but softly. "I'm not grossed out. I'm surprised, yeah. But mostly, I'm laughing because this whole thing could've been avoided if we'd just talked."
You tilted your head up. "What?"
Jensen bit his lip, suddenly sheepish. "I, uh...had a vasectomy last year."
Your brain short-circuited. "I'm sorry. You...what?"
"Yeah. Snip, snip. No swimmers."
Your jaw dropped. "Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Nope," he said with a sheepish grin. "I thought it was too soon to bring it up. I mean, we were only two weeks in."
You groaned, the weight of the situation crashing down as laughter bubbled in your chest. "Jesus, we really need to work on our communication."
"Yeah," he agreed, laughing along. "But hey, you took one for the team, so props to you."
You grabbed a throw pillow with a laugh and smacked him.
"Ow! Hey! I'm sorry!" he laughed, shielding himself.
You kept swinging the pillow. "I went through uterus warfare for nothing!"
"I'll buy you ice cream!"
"Not good enough!"
"Ice cream and wine?"
You paused mid-swing. "...Red?"
"Of course."
You flopped back into his arms with an exaggerated sigh. "You're lucky you're cute, Ackles."
He kissed the top of your head, grinning. "I'm lucky for a lot of reasons. Mostly you."
And when he made good on his promise of wine, ice cream, and Netflix, you figured the IUD debacle was almost worth it.
Part 1 of My Roommate, a Fluffy JensenxReader Drabble Series
"So we know that you, Jensen, have a hilarious roommate."
"She likes to think so," I reply with an easy smile.
The fan grins, not nervous at all. In fact, she seems a little... devilish? Mischievous? Whatever it is, I'm instantly on edge. Fans with these looks either have fantastic questions, embarrassing questions, or slightly inappropriate questions. I’m not sure what to expect when it comes to Y/N and her blog.
"Her two and a half million followers on her blog also think so."
"Speaking of the blog," I cut in. "I just want to clear up any confusion: the blog was not originally about me. She started it about one of her past roommates. If she had started it about me, the title would have been something much better like My Handsome Roommate or My Sexy Roommate."
"My Humble Roommate," Misha tosses in, and I chuckle airily before nodding.
"Riiiiight," the fan drawls. She still has that gleam in her eye though. "Anyway, I was wondering if you could explain the Stinky Roommate post she just made a few hours ago."
Oh shit. She made a new one today? What did I do? This con has been going on for hours and I can't even remember what I had for lunch, much less--did I even have lunch? Surely I ate something. Someone would have made me eat, right?
The question. Y/N's latest post. What did I do before I left this morning? Did I even see her? This week seems to have blurred together. Both of us had crazy schedules and I don’t know when the last time we even had a real conversation was.
"What post is that?" I ask. Misha already has his phone out, looking it up, and he laughs loud and hard as soon as he reads it.
"Really Jay?" Misha managed to choke out between laughter. I steal the phone as he continues teasing. "Maison and West are better in the kitchen than that!"
My Stinky Roommate woke up extra early today to make me breakfast. He knew that I had a stressful week and thought that he would do something thoughtful for me before he left for the fan convention in town. How sweet of him, right? Unfortunately for us, we learned that Jensen should not be allowed in the kitchen before he has finished at least one full cup of coffee. It wasn't even halfway through the first bite of delicious-looking waffles topped with strawberries and whipped cream that it quickly became apparent that his sleep-deprived brain doesn't know the difference between half a teaspoon of salt and half a cup of salt.
Read the next installment, My Weird Roommate, HERE!
Hold On - Chapter Two — Soft Places in a Hard World
Pairings: Beau Arlen x Reader
Series Summary: When darkness closes in, hope can be found in the most unexpected places — if they’re brave enough to hold on.
Chapter Summary: As Beau and the waitress grow closer, small moments and quiet crises reveal just how much they’re starting to mean to each other — even while the shadows of Beau’s past refuse to let go.
Series Masterlist here!! & Main masterlist here!
The diner had a rhythm, a heartbeat Beau found himself falling into without meaning to.
It wasn’t just the smell of coffee or the clatter of plates. It was you — the way you moved through the space like you belonged there, anchoring the place in something real.
Sometimes, when you weren’t busy, you’d lean against the counter, arms crossed, smiling at some dumb story he was telling.
Other times, when the place was bustling, he’d catch glimpses of you over the heads of customers — a quick smile, a wink, a little tilt of your head like you knew he was watching.
And sometimes... you didn’t smile at all.
It was one of those mornings when he knew something was wrong before you even said a word.
You came out from the back, apron tied sloppily, hair pulled into a loose, hurried knot. Your eyes were swollen like you hadn’t slept, and your hands trembled just the slightest bit when you poured his coffee.
Beau set down the menu he hadn’t even been pretending to read.
"You alright, darlin'?" he asked, voice low and steady.
You opened your mouth, probably to lie, but your chin wobbled instead. You sucked in a sharp breath and turned away, busying yourself with stacking mugs.
Beau waited. He didn’t push. Just waited, because something in his gut told him you needed it.
After a long minute, you whispered, "My apartment got broken into last night."
The words punched the air out of his lungs.
You were trying to be brave about it — he could tell. Standing stiff, trying not to let him see you were shaking. Trying to be the cheerful waitress even when your world had cracked open.
"Jesus," Beau muttered, pushing his stool back with a loud scrape. He crossed to your side of the counter without thinking.
You flinched when he touched your arm — just a tiny twitch — and it broke his heart clean in two.
"You’re safe here," he said, voice rough but gentle. "You hear me? Nobody's gonna hurt you here."
You nodded, blinking furiously.
Beau stayed close while you finished your shift.
He drank more coffee than any man should, just so he could sit at the counter and watch the door, keep his badge visible. Let anyone thinking about messing with you know exactly what they’d be dealing with.
When your manager finally sent you home early, Beau stood too.
"I’ll follow you back," he said like it was no big deal. Like it wasn’t tearing him up inside to let you out of his sight at all.
You didn’t argue. You just gave him a watery smile and said, "Thanks, Sheriff."
Sheriff.
Not Beau.
He didn’t know why that stung a little. Maybe because he wanted you to call him something softer.
Something that sounded like he mattered to you the way you were starting to matter to him.
You lived in a tiny apartment above the laundromat downtown.
The doorframe was splintered. The lock busted clean through.
Beau’s fists clenched at his sides.
He checked the place — every closet, every corner — before letting you inside. He wasn’t stupid enough to think it made you feel completely safe again, but he hoped it helped.
"I can fix the lock," he said, already pulling his toolbox from the back of his truck.
You laughed — a shaky, tired sound — and sat on the couch hugging your knees while he worked.
While he hammered and drilled, you told him about it in bits and pieces.
You'd come home from work late. The door was open. Some of your stuff was trashed, drawers pulled out. Jewelry gone.
No one was still there, thank God. But the damage was done. The fear had already rooted itself deep.
Beau tried to stay calm, for you.
But in the back of his mind, there was a burning thought he couldn’t shake:
If I had been there... they never would’ve scared you.
Later, when the new lock clicked into place and your door was finally secure again, Beau stood awkwardly in your living room, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I can stick around," he offered, glancing at the battered couch like he’d sleep there if you asked. "Make sure you’re alright tonight."
You smiled — a real one this time, small but so damn brave it made his chest ache.
"Thanks," you whispered. "But I think... I think I’m okay now."
He nodded, but he didn’t move until you locked the door behind him.
Not until he was sure you were truly safe.
Meanwhile, the storm with Sharron only got worse.
She showed up at the station twice that week — once claiming she left something at the house (she hadn’t) and once to scream at him about "abandoning her".
Beau didn’t rise to the bait. He didn’t even look at her.
He was done.
Sharron’s claws still scratched at the edges of his life, but there was a new tether pulling him forward now.
A quiet voice, a soft smile, a safe place he hadn’t even known he needed.
And he would be damned if he let the darkness drag him back under again.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 3 coming soon!
The Celebrity Next Door: Chapter 1 - Welcome to the Neighborhood
Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Reader (Written in first person, but with Y/N)
Series Summary: Y/N's life takes an unexpected turn when she moves next door to Jensen Ackles, a famous actor navigating life post-divorce. Their initial awkward encounter over a broken window leads to a budding friendship, navigating the challenges of celebrity life and forging meaningful connections in their neighborhood.
Chapter Summary: Y/N, a New Yorker adjusting to life in Los Angeles, finds herself entangled with her neighbor Jensen Ackles and his daughter Katie after a baseball mishap leads to unexpected connections and new beginnings in their shared neighborhood.
A/N: Okay, so it may be weird but I'm writing this in first person POV, but the name will be changed to Y/N. Might be annoying, but it's easier for the story. Thank you!
Series Masterlist here!! & Main masterlist here!
The sun beamed through the bay window of my living room, filling the air with the chirping of birds and scurrying of squirrels. It was a surprisingly joyful sound that welcomed me on my first real day in Los Angeles—a city I had dreaded joining.
Maybe my initial judgments were coloured by my New York roots; after all, I was unquestionably a city girl. I've always found comfort in the sounds of the city; cars honking, people scattered everywhere living their lives-that was the life I was used to. As much as I was excited about the new chapter of my life, there were qualities of LA that would take some getting used to, things that puzzled me.
Like why was it always so damn bright here? The sky, the buildings, the houses-all of it seemed to glow with an intensity that demanded sunglasses just to step outside. And why were the houses so enormous? It seemed ridiculous. I only need a bed, a bathroom and a kitchen yet here I was in what they called a condo, but felt more like a mansion with its space.
But despite my initial objection to LA’s charms, I couldn’t deny the peacefulness of the palm-tree-lined streets and the birdsong that greeted me each morning in a way New York never could.
I rolled onto my side, glanced at my phone, and sighed. 10:00 am already. There was still so much unpacking to do, and no one to help.
These first days were going to be busy. Pushing myself off the less-than-comfortable bed, I shuffled to the kitchen where the only thing I had set up so far was my Keurig machine. Leaning on the counter, I patiently awaited that first magical cup of morning coffee. Glancing outside, I squinted at the brilliant sunlight that threatened to overwhelm me. Seriously, why was it so damn bright here?
The coffee machine groaned, signaling it was ready. I turned to grab my mug when a sudden crash shattered the quiet. Instinctively, I dropped to the ground.
Peeking slowly over the counter, I discovered the cause—a baseball sitting right there on my kitchen floor, glass scattered everywhere around it.
I chuckled softly and shook my head. One thing I wouldn’t miss about New York: the reflex to duck for cover at every unexpected noise.
Moments later, the doorbell rang, nearly sending me into cardiac arrest. I approached guardedly, peeking through the side windows. A little girl stood on my porch, her expression guilt-ridden.
I opened the door, looked around for a parent nearby before crouching down to her eye level. “Hi there. Can I help you?”
Her small hands fidgeted with her zipper nervously. “I… I accidentally hit your window with my baseball. It’s inside your house.”
I smiled warmly. “It’s okay. What’s your name sweetie?”
Her eyes glanced up slightly, a light sniffle coming from her nose. “Katie."
“Well, Katie, I’m Y/N. Let’s go get your ball, alright? Are your parents around?”
She looked around and shook her head. “My daddy’s inside. Mommy’s not here.”
I nodded, retrieving the ball and returning to find Katie waiting patiently on the porch. I couldn’t help but giggle at her adorableness. Despite the broken window, I looked forward to having children around, filling the street with laughter and play.
Carefully navigating the scattered glass, I handed Katie her ball. She beamed up at me as I closed and locked the door behind us. “Where’s your house? I’ll take you back to your dad.”
Katie pointed to a massive white house next to mine, surrounded by a high fence and perfectly kept lawn which only peaked my curiosity.
Following Katie to her gate, I watched her disappear inside the house quickly, calling for her dad to come to the door. I waited patiently and suddenly anxiety filled my chest at the concept of meeting my new neighbour in this way.
It took a few minutes, but finally the little girl returned with a larger figure I could barely see from where I was standing. He approached the door and with every step he took towards the light, the more my breath got caught in my throat.
I knew him—or at least recognized him from somewhere. His piercing green eyes met mine, and suddenly it clicked: Jensen Ackles. I struggled to maintain composure, reminding myself he was just a person like me, despite my heart threatening to burst from my chest.
“Can I help you?” His voice was direct, cutting through my nerves.
I managed a polite smile, trying to gather my thoughts. “Hi... I just moved in next door. Your daughter accidentally threw a baseball into my kitchen window, and she came over to...”
“Katie!” His sharp voice interrupted, causing me to jump. He turned to his daughter, arms crossed. “What did I tell you about throwing the baseball around? This is the third time this month!”
Katie’s eyes dropped, on the verge of tears. I wanted to comfort her or maybe scold Jensen, but I knew nothing about parenting. Still, seeing him yell at her harshly made my anxiety rise.
The worst part of this whole situation though, was the way he was glaring into my soul, arms still crossed, a deep frown on his face. It felt like the very essence of my being was completely ruining his day.
He sighed, leaning against the doorway with a hint of apology in his eyes. “Is that all, or is there something else?”
I faltered, sensing his impatience. “Uh, no, that’s it, I guess.”
“Okay. Thanks, bye.” With that, the door closed, leaving me staring at the wooden texture of my first celebrity encounter.
As I walked back to my house, I couldn't stop the sadness that crept in. It was my first day, and it had already started roughly. I wondered if I would ever warm up to this place.
An hour later, most of my boxes were unpacked, clothes neatly put away away, and a single family photo hung in the hallway that was taken at a family reunion over a year ago. Our family wasn't the photo taking type, and that's one thing I vowed to change, because as I stared at the empty wall with the lone photograph, I felt sad.
But when I looked around my spacious new home, I felt a sense of relief. The morning’s drama and anxiety had faded away.
I grabbed my coffee and stepped onto the front porch, sinking into the swing that came with the house. Examining the neighborhood, I noticed kids playing—biking, rollerblading, and drawing with chalk.
My gaze landed on Jensen’s front yard. Katie was there, playing with a little boy who looked just like him. Jensen was noticeably absent, which didn’t surprise me.
I headed out to collect my mail, when I heard a familiar voice calling my name. My heart warmed as Katie waved at me from her yard. Returning her wave with a smile, I realized maybe I wouldn’t hate this place after all.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 2 coming soon stay tuned!
The Celebrity Next Door: Chapter 7 -Unexpected Morning, Heartwarming Afternoon
Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Reader
Chapter Summary: After an unexpected morning, Y/N is worried that things are going downhill again, but their only going up.
Series Masterlist here!! & Main masterlist here!
I woke up feeling especially refreshed and energized for the first time in a long time. Expecting to find myself in my own bed, I opened my eyes to see Jensen lying next to me, asleep on the floor.
Confused, I sat up and looked around, realizing I was actually on his couch, wrapped snugly in his sweatshirt.
My movement stirred him awake, he lifted his head, his eyes fluttering open, and greeted me with that beautiful smile of his. It was certainly a pleasing way to wake up.
"Mmm... Good morning, honey," he whispered, his voice husky and irresistible.
I smiled, settling down on my side to face him. "Good morning. I guess I ended up crashing here."
He chuckled softly, sitting up and leaning closer. "I guess you did."
"Sorry if that's not what you wanted," I said, a hint of concern in my voice.
He laughed lightly, shaking his head as his lips met mine in a sweet, gentle kiss. "It was. It is."
Grabbing my phone from the floor, I checked the time in surprise. "How did we manage to sleep till 10:00 am?"
He laughed again, lying back down before suddenly jumping straight up. "10:00 am? It's 10:00 am?"
I nodded, showing him the time on my phone, and watched panic flicker across his face.
"Oh shit… Oh no, okay," he muttered quickly, scrambling to tidy up the pillows and straighten the place. Confused, I sat up, staring at him. "What's going on, Jensen?"
"My kids will be back any moment. My ex is dropping them off," he explained hurriedly.
I nodded understandingly and quickly threw on my sweater and shoes. Jensen stood in the living room, looking confused. "Wait, where are you going?"
I hesitated, trying to process everything. "Um… Home?"
He frowned, stepping closer and gently holding my arms. "I didn't mean you had to leave. I don't mind if you're here when they arrive."
"Oh…" I paused, unsure why he seemed so flustered.
He smiled softly, sensing my confusion, and leaned in to kiss my forehead. "I'm just worried about what Sarah will say. Not about you, but about the mess. Usually, I have everything cleaned up and breakfast ready when they arrive but lately.., I haven't been on top of things here."
I moved closer, wrapping my arms around him and planting a reassuring kiss on his chest, hoping to ease his anxiety. "Go wait for your kids on the porch. I'll take care of everything here."
Brows furrowed in confusion, he stared down at me. "Y/N, you don't have to-"
"I'm not asking," I insisted firmly. "Go. Your kids need a happy dad who's excited to see them. I'll handle this."
He nodded gratefully, kissing my forehead again before hurrying to the door. As he paused at the mirror to fix his hair, my heart melted a little at his care for appearances—a confirmation to his dedication as a dad and a man that was making me fall for him, fast.
I could hear the car pulling into the driveway as I finished cooking bacon and eggs, serving them on a plate for the kids to enjoy when they got home. I smiled to myself, satisfied with how tidy everything looked. They arrived just in time, all laundry was sorted, trash thrown out, and floors swept, everything was done.
The house filled with noise as children ran up the stairs, Jensen's voice getting closer, followed by a woman's voice. My anxiety was rising as they approached, I hadn't expected her to enter, but it wasn't my place to question.
Jensen appeared in the kitchen, eyes widening at the sight of the breakfast spread and the house clean.
Before he could say anything, a tall, stunning woman stepped beside him, her eyes falling onto me. "Oh… Hi. Didn't realize Jensen had company," she said with a smirk.
Jensen froze, caught between us, unsure of what to say or how to explain.
Smiling warmly, I wiped my hands and greeted her, "Hi! I'm actually new in the neighbourhood. I was just coming over to introduce myself when you arrived. I didn't want the food to burn, so I thought I'd help out. Practicing my neighbourly duties, you know?"
She nodded politely, her gaze shifting between Jensen and me, clearly curious by the way he stood there like a statue. "Understandable. I'm Sarah."
I smiled in response and waited while the air turned tense. "Anyways, I should get going. Thanks for the coffee, Jensen!" I spoke, nodding to him.
He hesitated before smiling back, "Of course. See you around?" he asked shyly.
I smiled back. "Definitely. Bye! Nice meeting you!"
"You too," she responded, her eyes following me as I left, closing the door behind me and releasing a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.
She seemed nice enough, but I couldn't shake the anxiety rising at how Jensen's anxious look had hinted at the fact that he was not happy I was there, when she was. It was understandable for sure, but I couldn't stop the pang in my chest at the feeling of being hidden.
Hours passed in quiet after the brief meeting at Jensen's. I had no work to occupy me, and loneliness began to creep in. I contemplated going over to at least say hi to the kids, or apologizing for this morning, but I was unsure if it was appropriate.
As I cleaned my kitchen, a knock at the door startled me. Was this a coincidence, or was Jensen thinking the same thing?
I opened the door to find Katie standing there, her smile brightening as she saw me. "Hi, Y/N!"
"Hi, Katie!" I greeted her warmly.
"Dad said to ask if you want to join us for lunch," she said eagerly.
I chuckled to myself. "Oh, did he? Well, I am pretty hungry. Are you?"
She nodded energetically, reaching for my hand, which I gladly took. We walked back to their house together, my heart warming with every step.
Entering their backyard, I spotted Jensen by the grill and Kevin preoccupied in a gaming device, the aroma of burgers teasing my senses and causing my mouth to water.
Jensen greeted me with a nervous smile. "Y/N! Glad you could join us!"
I nodded, releasing Katie's hand as she dashed off to play with her toys. She was adorable, and I couldn't help but smile.
As Jensen closed the grill and approached me, he glanced over at the kids to make sure they were occupied. "I'm so sorry about this morning," he apologized quietly.
I shook my head, dismissing his apology. "You have nothing to apologize for. I am curious though, is that why you asked Katie to come get me?
He smiled sheepishly and chuckled a bit, "Well, yeah. I didn't know if you were angry or upset with me, and you did mention that my daughter is impossible to resist, so I figured she'd have a better chance to get you over here."
I giggled and shook my head, "I wasn't upset, at least not with you."
His face froze, concern flickering in his eyes. "But you were upset?"
I hesitated, then forced a smile. "It was nothing, really..."
He cleared his throat, turning his attention to his kids. "Ten minutes until lunch. Can you help me with the condiments, Y/N?"
I sighed internally, hoping I hadn't complicated things by admitting that. Following him inside, I stood at the counter, nerves fluttering as I wondered what he was going to say. "Jensen... I-"
He stepped closer, his hand brushing my cheek, his gaze locked on mine as his lips met mine briefly, erasing all the morning's doubts and fears.
"I'm sorry. I should've handled things better this morning. After you left, I felt like a jerk. You did so much to help, and I didn't even properly thank you, I froze like a coward." he murmured, looking down at the floor.
I reached up, gently guiding his chin to meet my eyes. "Stop. You didn't do anything wrong. You handled everything perfectly. You were calm and happy to see your kids without the stress. That's all that matters to me."
He smiled sadly, shrugging. "But it upset you."
I frowned, glancing towards the backyard to ensure no little ears were listening. "It was stupid to say that, I shouldn't have said it."
"No," he whispered, his hand grabbing mine in his. "Whatever bothers you is not stupid honey, please tell me what it was?"
I sighed and fiddled with my fingers, eyes locked on the ground. "It was just... my insecurities. I enjoyed our time together, and I felt like we were getting closer. When your wife arrived, and we pretended we didn't even know each other, I guess I felt like I was being hidden. But again, it's just my stupid insecurities, it's not a big deal."
He pulled me into a hug, holding me tightly. "I would never hide you. I love what we have building here, I was just worried about unnecessary drama, and I didn't know I'd feel that way until she came inside and I saw you again, but I love our drama free life."
I nodded, smiling genuinely. "Me too."
We all sat down to lunch, and as I prepared to leave them to enjoy their family time, Katie tugged on my hand. "Stay, please!" she pleaded, her big blue eyes irresistible.
I glanced at Jensen, who nodded enthusiastically, then turned to Kevin, who sat on the couch. "Kevin, is it okay if I stay?"
He shrugged, seeming uninterested. "I don't care."
Jensen rolled his eyes apologetically. I smiled, brushing it off, and settled on the couch beside Kevin. I couldn't blame him for feeling a bit left out; when he was here with just Katie and his dad, he was usually playing with his sister or being the one she asks all the questions too, with my presence, Katie has been begging to play with me, and he sits on his video games.
While Jensen and Katie went upstairs to change, I stayed downstairs with Kevin, hoping to connect with him a bit. He grabbed his phone and began playing a game, clearly not in the mood for conversation. But I was stubborn.
"What are you playing?" I asked, peering over at his screen. He tilted it away from me, continuing to play. "Nothing you'd know."
I smiled and leaned back against the couch. "Try me."
He sighed, unenthusiastically turning the screen to show me the game. "Call of Duty."
Acting surprised, I gasped. "Are you kidding? I love that game!"
He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, right."
"No, seriously. I used to play Black Ops with my sisters on Xbox. We had a blast," I said, trying to break through his shell.
He looked at me skeptically, but this time I could see a glimmer of excitement in his eyes. "Are you any good?"
I laughed, pulling out my phone. "I bet I could give you a run for your money."
Kevin watched intently as I quickly downloaded the game and set up a profile. We joined a game together, and soon we were both absorbed in the battle, hunting each other down in the virtual world. Kevin proved to be skilled, and though I struggled a bit with the touchscreen controls compared to a console, it was more than fun hearing his laugh every time he unexpectedly snuck behind and knifed me.
As we played, laughter filled the room, and Kevin's guarded demeanour slowly melted away. He became more energetic, explaining strategies and teasing me whenever he managed to score a hit. It was clear he was enjoying himself, and so was I.
At one point, I managed to sneak up on his character, thinking I had the upper hand, only for him to turn around and take me down. "You suck!" he exclaimed, bursting into laughter.
"Kevin!" Jensen's voice suddenly interrupted from behind us, causing both of us to jump. We quickly put down our phones and turned to face him.
Before Jensen could say anything, I stood up and showed him my phone. "We were just playing Call of Duty. Kevin was just joking around."
Jensen glanced between us and then smiled, relieved. He sat down between us on the couch. "Alright, let's see if I can take on both of you. Kevin, teach me your moves."
Kevin eagerly started explaining the controls to his dad, and soon they were both absorbed in the game, laughing and competing. Jensen's gaze fell on mine as Kevin laughed loudly, mouthing a thank you.
I smiled in response and watched them with a warm heart, it was amazing seeing them getting along so well, especially after everything Jensen opened up about, regarding his son.
They deserved this type of love, this bond, this moment of healing, and it was amazing to watch, and be a part of.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 8 coming soon stay tuned!
The Celebrity Next Door: Chapter 5 - Crossroads of Feelings
Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Reader
Chapter Summary: A little drinking and bonding has never hurt anyone right... Right?
Series Masterlist here!! & Main masterlist here!
It's been two weeks since I went to Jensen's for coffee, and since then, we've been growing closer. We meet up every few days for coffee and casual conversations about anything and everything, and the chemistry was defiantly building, with long gazes and subtle touches every so often, it felt like a slow burn.
I often spot Jensen walking down the street with his kids, and when he sees me, he waves, and I wave back. It was nice seeing him out and about, looking lighter and happier than when I first met him. It's all very neighbourly. Katie, his daughter, sometimes stops by when I'm checking the mail just to say hello. These small interactions have become a regular part of my routine.
But over the past few days, I've noticed less of Jensen. He'd wave when he saw me outside, but once he was back indoors, it felt like he vanished.
Well, not from my mind. Thoughts of him seemed to occupy my every moment, replaying his words and the way he said my name. It was frustrating because I found myself missing him. I didn't like being home without his presence nearby.
I started lingering longer at the office, arriving at 7:00 am and leaving at 6:00 pm. Even at home, I fought to keep myself busy with calls and contracts, trying to distract myself, to not depend on him, but nothing seemed enough.
I hated the affect he had on me already.
Today flew by faster than I wanted, and before I knew it, I was driving back to my quiet house as I did every evening. As much as I was starting to love my new life in LA, I missed having friends. I missed having people to talk to, to laugh with. Making friends here felt near impossible to me, and I didn't know where to begin.
Pulling into the driveway, I froze when I saw Jensen sitting on my porch, a bottle of wine in hand. What a nice surprise.
I smiled and stepped out of my car, making my way towards him. When he saw me, he stood up and greeted me warmly. "Y/N.. Any chance you'd like to have a drink?"
I laughed and nodded, moving to unlock my door and invite him inside. He looked around the house with genuine interest, as if he's never seen a house before, which warmed my heart.
"Wow, this place is beautiful." he commented.
I chuckled and shook my head at his compliment. "Jensen, you don't have to be polite. Compared to your house, this is just an apartment."
He shrugged with a smile. "Maybe, but mine doesn't feel like home. It's just walls and windows. Yours, though, it has this Y/N vibe all around."
"A Y/N vibe?" I repeated, amused. "I like that."
Grabbing the wine glasses, I returned to Jensen, noticing him studying a photograph on my wall. "This is cute. Who are all these people?"
I moved closer, the way his breathing hitched making me smile, "That's my dad, my mom, my sister Christina, and my other sister Stephanie, and of course me in the middle."
He smiled widely and nodded, "What a beautiful family."
Though it was a simple compliment, it meant the world to me. The word beautiful has never really been used to describe me, or my life.
"Thank you, Jensen. I haven't talked to them much since moving here, so it's been tough. But this picture always brings a smile to my face."
He frowned slightly, sipping his wine as he took another glance at the photo. "Why don't you visit them? Or have a housewarming party and invite them here?"
I laughed sadly as we moved to the couch, Jensen sitting beside me. "My parents aren't in the best financial situation so taking a flight would be hard on them, plus driving is like 41 hours so that's out."
His expression softened, eyes fixed on mine with an intensity that surprised me.
"My dad does odd jobs like painting and electric work," I explained, "My mom works at a local diner. They manage, but money's always tight. Even though their divorced, they still live together because neither one of them can move out. That's partly why I moved here, hoping to send them money to help out each month."
His expression was different than I've seen before, his eyes filled with admiration and tenderness, his usual charm replaced by a heartfelt sincerity that caught me off guard.
He was silent, and I started to feel like I said something wrong. I quickly gulped the rest of my drink and stood up from my spot, "I'm sorry, that was probably too much information. I didn't mean to turn this into a pity party."
His hand gently gripped mine, shaking himself out of his trance. "No, not at all. It's just... surprising to hear is all."
"Why?" I questioned, sitting back down beside him.
His hand remained on my arm, gaze locked on mine. "You're different from people around here. Kind, generous. I feel like people here are constantly expecting things; but you give. Like when you came to my place about Katie and the broken window, I half expected you to dance home thinking about a huge payday. That's how people usually are."
I scoffed, shaking my head. "I hate that. My parents never asked for money, and neither have I. When my window broke, I went straight to my boss to make sure you wouldn't have to pay."
He smirked, squeezing my hand. "Was it covered, though? You said it was."
I bit my lip nervously as my gaze dropped, "Doesn't really matter, right? It's fixed."
"Please tell me?" He asked softly.
I sighed and brought my gaze to his, smiling nervously. "It wasn't fully covered, actually. To file a claim, I needed your information. But I didn't know if many people knew you lived here, and I didn't want to expose you over a broken window."
Confusion flickered across Jensen's face as he looked down, his hand still holding mine. "But you didn't even know me. Why protect me, put me ahead of yourself?"
"It didn't matter who you were." I replied softly. "I wouldn't have asked for money. I only came to your house to make sure Katie got home safely; everything else was a surprise."
He froze, his eyes meeting mine with a mixture of passion and affection, his gaze drifting to my lips. His hand slowly moved to my cheek, causing my breath to hitch. Before I knew it, his lips were on mine, hands tangled in my hair.
I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer as we lost ourselves in each other. His knee moved between my legs and I shivered. He groaned against my lips when I scratched his back.
It felt like we were falling apart together, all our defences crumbling around us. We breathed each other in, falling into each other.
But then everything changed.
He pulled away from me unexpectedly, his expression filled with shock and fear as he looked down at me. "Shit, I... I'm sorry." he whispered.
Confusion and hurt blended in my chest. "You don't need to apologize."
He stood quickly, helping me to my feet and moving towards the door with regret in his eyes. "That wasn't supposed to happen. I didn't want that to happen."
His words hit me like a slap in the face, my heart sinking into my stomach, breath catching in my throat. "Oh... right. It was a mistake."
He halted, guilt engraved on his face. "Oh... no, Y/N, that's not—"
Forcing a smile, I opened the door for him, holding back tears threatening to spill over. "It's okay, Jensen. I should go to bed anyway. Have a good night, okay?"
He froze, shame evident on his face, trying to meet my eyes, but I couldn't bring myself to look at him.
I felt embarrassed for assuming we were on the same page, that there was something between us. Now, I was left with a broken heart and a bruised ego, wondering how I could ever face him after this.
Jensen walked away from Y/N's house with a knot of anxiety in his stomach. Guilt weighed heavily on him as he replayed the evening in his mind. He cared about her deeply, but it wasn't supposed to happen like that. He wanted to kick himself for not handing the situation better, for hurting someone who had been nothing but kind to him.
Back home, he paced the living room, unable to shake the feeling of regret. He knew he had hurt her, and the thought pained him. Y/N was special to him, different from anyone he had met since his divorce. She was genuine, caring and he felt a connection he hadn't felt in a very long time. Yet, that very connection scared him.
He ran his hand through his hair, and sighed. He couldn't stop thinking about her, her warmth, her smile, and the way she had opened up with him in a way that nobody had since his life became a whirlwind of schedules and public apperances.
He grabbed his phone several times, fingers hovering over her contacting, wanting desperately to reach out and apologize, but each time, he hesitated, unsure of what to say or if she even wanted to hear from him.
As he got into bed, he made the decision to give her some time and than make things right. He wanted to explain everything, apologize for how he handled the situation and for hurting her, hoping that when he did, she would understand but the fear of losing her was anxiety inducing, he didn't want to lose the one person who made him feel alive again.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 6 coming soon stay tuned!
The Celebrity Next Door: Chapter 10: Bruised Hearts
Pairings: Jensen Ackles x Reader
Chapter Summary: Everything comes crumbling down when tension breaks through the surface.
Warnings: ANGST. Super angst, mainly just fighting and grumpy Jensen comes back stronger than ever. Mentions of injuries also.
Series Masterlist here!! & Main masterlist here!
My back throbbed against the hard, concrete wall that I've been sitting against for the past three hours. My eyes burned, cheeks swollen, lips chapped. I was a mess, I knew it.
Despite myself, I couldn't help but worry about Jensen. At this point, I shouldn't care, I should be more angry, but I knew I loved him too much to stay detached.
How did everything go so wrong, so fast? This morning was filled with laughs, smiles, moans and kisses. And now, all I was left with was the memories of tears, loud fights, broken glass and pain.
None of this was what I expected, or wanted.
-- A Few Hours Earlier --
His grip was tight on mine, almost painful, as we stood together. Jensen was usually calm and collected, kind and patient, but something about Sarah always set him off.
Every time they met, it ended the same way. She would greet or say goodbye to the kids, and I would sit on the porch or inside while Jensen stayed out to talk with her. Every time he came back, he was frustrated, and angry.
After a weekend at the beach and the market with the kids—filled with laughter and joy—I had hoped today would be different. But I was wrong.
As soon as Sarah pulled into the driveway, Jensen's grip tightened on my hand. His entire behaviour changed; he became tense, his usually calm appearance trembling.
Something was definitely wrong.
Sarah climbed out of the car and walked towards us, arms crossed and a plastered smile on her lips. Jensen stood up suddenly, releasing my hand. She didn't acknowledge me or offer her usual knowing smile—her eyes were fixed on Jensen's, and his on hers.
I knew they had spoken on the phone yesterday, but Jensen hadn't mentioned anything to me. Whatever they discussed had clearly affected the mood today.
"I'll go get the kids ready for you," I said, turning towards the door.
Sarah finally looked at me. "Yes, please do."
I nodded and headed inside, my stomach twisting with anxiety at the way he was staring back at her, jaw tight and eyes cold. It brought me back to the day I met him, along with the day he screamed at me on the stairs. I hated seeing him like this.
Katie and Kevin were nearly ready, their faces lighting up with smiles as they rushed out to see their mom. It amazed me how humans could mask their true feelings. As soon as the kids ran out, Sarah's scowl transformed into a bright smile as she embraced them tightly. The anger in the air dissipated instantly.
Jensen approached the kids, giving them a slightly restrained hug. "Bye guys, I'll see you soon, okay?"
I waved goodbye to the kids before attempting to leave, but Jensen's grip tightened on my arm, turning me back towards him.
"You don't need to go inside. You're fine here."
The tension was more than clear. I didn't understand why he wanted me to stay, but a part of me resented him for it because of the way Sarah's eyes drilled into me, making me feel anxious.
As soon as the car door closed and the kids' ears were out of earshot behind the glass, we were left alone to speak freely.
Sarah began, stepping closer with venom in her eyes and arms crossed. "I'm not changing my mind, Jensen."
"I'm not letting you take my fucking kids away from me, Sarah," he snapped, causing me to jump.
Her voice rose as she stepped closer. "I never said I was taking them away from you. I just don't want to live in Los Angeles anymore when my home is in Texas."
He shook his head, anger bubbling over. I wanted to leave them to sort it out themselves, but Jensen's grip kept me in place.
She scoffed and stepped back. "Why are you even still in LA? Your home is in Texas. We only stayed here for auditions."
Jensen remained silent, finally loosening his grip enough for her to notice. She smirked and shook her head. "I get it now. You're only here for your girlfriend."
His head snapped up, a new intensity in his eyes. She laughed, and I felt the tension thicken. It was about to get ugly.
"So, you're accusing me of tearing this family apart, of taking the kids away from you, yet the only reason you're still here is for your flavor of the month? Seriously?"
He released my arm completely, advancing towards her with a look that could kill. "Do. Not."
"You live in Texas. Don't sit there and complain to me about staying here. You have no reason to be here except for her. You're the one abandoning your kids."
With that, he stormed off, leaving me alone outside with his ex-wife, who was still seething. Her words had embarrassed me deeply, filling me with regret and sadness as I wondered if there was any truth to them.
She shook her head and turned back towards the car, pausing to look back at me. Her anger had melted into a sorrowful expression.
"I'm sorry he dragged you into that," she said softly. "You seem like a good person. Katie speaks highly of you. But Jensen isn't thinking straight. He blames me for wanting to go home. I came here for him, and that's over now. He needs to grow up. He's sacrificing his life in Texas for someone he just met, and yet he says I'm the one tearing his family apart."
My mouth opened and closed, unsure of how to respond. This wasn't my place to intervene, but I couldn't shake the feeling that she might be right. Was Jensen sacrificing too much for me?
"So, this house..." I started.
She shrugged. "It's just another temporary residence for us—convenient during filming or auditions. When we split, I stayed in a hotel before buying a house in Texas, expecting him to return, but he never did."
"And you think it's because of me?"
She shrugged sadly. "I'm not trying to be cruel. I don't know what Jensen has told you about me, but I'm not that person. I'm glad he seems happy with you, but let's be real. Why else would he stay here? He doesn't even like LA that much."
I nodded sadly and turned to leave. My anxiety skyrocketed. If her words held any truth, I was tearing a family apart. Even if they weren't together anymore, I was making it harder for him to see his kids. I couldn't stand the thought.
Entering the house filled me with panic. I had no idea what to expect or what to say. How could I pretend everything was fine if there was even a little bit truth to what she said?
The house was eerily quiet, except for the pounding of my heart. The tension was thick, suffocating. I had seen Jensen angry before—that's how our relationship began—but I had never seen him pushed to this extent, and it scared me.
In the kitchen, Jensen stood firmly by the counter, hands pressed firmly against it, shoulders tense. I approached him cautiously, reaching out to touch his shoulder but stopping myself. Her words echoed in my mind like a haunted chorus.
"Jensen," I murmured, my voice barely audible.
He lifted his head slowly, wiping his face and turning towards me with the same angry expression engraved on his features. I lowered my head, trying to shield the vulnerability I felt. I didn't want him to worry about me or feel obligated to comfort me when I seemed to be the problem.
My voice wavered as I spoke, a lump forming in my throat. "I think I should go."
He remained motionless, his eyes locked onto mine. "Why?"
I shrugged, biting my lip. "I just... I don't think my being here is helping right now."
He sighed heavily, crossing his arms tightly against his chest as he leaned back against the counter. The coldness in his gaze remained, unwilling to soften.
"You talked to Sarah didn't you?" he asked quietly.
I shrugged again, not wanting to be the one who caused more trouble. I hadn't intended to get involved, but he had dragged me into their argument. I could have lived without hearing that conversation, but it was too late now.
He approached slowly, arms dropping to his sides. "And you believe her?"
I lifted my head, meeting his intense gaze before quickly looking away. "I mean, it's not that I believe her, but she's right that there's no solid reason for you to be here except for me."
He shook his head, moving back around the corner. I saw his fists clenched on the counter, anger burning beneath the surface. "She doesn't know a fucking thing, Y/N!"
I flinched at the volume of his voice, the walls seemed to vibrate around us. He had never yelled at me like this before, and I never imagined he would. But now that he was, I wanted to run off and cry alone.
Lowering his head, he cleared his throat before continuing, "I can't believe you would even listen to her. You don't know the whole story. You can't just jump in like that."
Anger surged within me. I hadn't wanted to get involved, hadn't wanted to be pushed into their painful argument. Why would I stay and subject myself to this?
Stepping closer, I finally raised my head to meet his gaze. "You're the one who dragged me into this! I tried to leave, but you made me stay and listen to all the hurtful things she said. Most of them sounded true enough to tear me apart."
A bitter laugh escaped his throat as he shook his head at me, his eyes narrowing as if trying to burn me with his gaze. "You believe her."
I rolled my eyes and sighed, annoyed. "I never said that."
"You said most of it is true."
I nodded emphatically. "Yes. It's true that your home is in Texas. It's true that the kids' schools are there. It's true that you haven't been working or auditioning here, so there's no reason for you to stay."
He pushed himself off the counter, a fresh wave of anger washing over him. "Don't you fucking dare tell me where my home is. You have no idea why I'm here. You chose to believe my damn ex-wife instead of me."
I scoffed and stepped back. "Believe you? You've never told me a damn thing, Jensen!"
He opened his mouth to respond but quickly closed it again, clenching his jaw so tightly I feared he might break a tooth. Turning away from me, his anger seemed to intensify. He blamed me for everything, as if I were the cause of all our troubles.
"I think I should go home," I stated firmly.
He spun around so quickly that I jumped, hurt and sadness radiating from him. "So that's it? You're done?"
I shook my head quickly, trying to explain. "That's not what I meant—"
"Just go, then," he cut me off sharply. "I'm not going to beg you to stay."
I stepped closer, rolling my eyes in frustration. "That's not what I'm saying!"
The tension in the room was suffocating. We were both too scared to fight for what we wanted. Walls were up, and neither of us were making a move to tear them down.
He turned away, shoulders slumping, fists clenched tightly. My heart pounded in my ears, the air feeling thin around us. I approached cautiously, afraid to startle him further. A gentle touch, perhaps, might bring him back to reality—but I was wrong. I should have left. Why hadn't I left?
Reaching out to touch his shoulder, I was taken aback when he jerked away, his movement knocking a coffee pot off the counter, shattering glass across the floor. His eyes piercing into mine, oblivious to the mess he had just made.
"Damn it, Y/N, just leave!" he yelled. "You said you wanted to leave, so go!"
"I never said I wanted to leave," I replied, my voice shaky. "I said I should go home because you clearly need space."
He scoffed bitterly. "You're just taking her side, believing her. You're giving up on us because it's just not worth it, right?"
I felt hot anger rise within me. How could he accuse me of not thinking this was worth it? That had been my biggest fear and insecurity all along—that I wasn't worth it.
"You don't get to tell me that," I shot back, tears welling in my eyes. "You don't get to accuse me of not thinking this is worth it, I think that I'm not worth it."
He shook his head, his own barricades rising, making him unaware of the words that were about to leave his mouth. "Maybe it's true."
His words struck me like a blow to the chest. Tears spilled over, and I staggered back. The look on his face told me he regretted saying it, that he didn't mean it—but the damage was done. Walls were up, and we were both afraid to let them down, to feel vulnerable.
"You... oh... Wow... okay," I stammered, burying my face in my hands to compose myself. He stood there, mouth slightly agape, as if desperate to say something—anything—but unable to find the words.
I rushed past him, desperate to get out, to return home where I could cry and fall apart in private.
Racing toward the front door, I didn't notice the glass on the floor until I stepped on a shard, instantly cutting my foot.
Falling to my knees, I cursed loudly, staring at the large piece of glass lodged in my foot. Jensen hurried over at the sound, reaching out as if to help, but the expression on my face stopped him cold. "Don't," I snapped, my voice raw with emotion.
He frowned, shaking his head. "You're bleeding."
"Why do you care? I'll take care of it myself."
With panic and anger swirling inside me, I stood up, ignoring the pain and blood. Grabbing my bag and coat, I rushed outside, slamming the door behind me.
I practically ran back to my house, tears streaming down my face, chest tight with pain. It felt like my whole world had crumbled around me.
And now, here I was, hours later.
My back throbbing from the hard, concrete wall I had been sitting against for what felt like an eternity.
Eyes burning, cheeks swollen, lips dry and cracked.
I was a wreck. I knew it. I couldn't imagine how Jensen was coping. I shouldn't care, but I loved him too much to stay angry.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 11 coming soon stay tuned!
It was surprising how quickly things could change.
Just days ago, Jensen and I had been friends, growing closer, sharing intimate moments. Now, we haven't seen each other-not since the night of the kiss.
As much as I didn't want to, I found myself avoiding him, stuck feeling embarrassed for myself for thinking we had something deeper, when clearly we didn't.
My mood was at an all time low as I isolated myself. I've faked an illness at work to work from home, burying myself in tasks to distract from thoughts of him. But as the work decreased, so did my ability to avoid reality.
Walking through the hallway of my home, my gaze fell on the family photograph, our smiles genuine and heartwarming. Tears welled up despite my efforts to hold them back. I missed them, missed having someone to talk to, missed the simple joy of smiling.
Since Jensen, I hadn't smiled. I felt ridiculous to have imagined he could want someone like me. I didn't belong here; I didn't fit in, and I felt more alone that I ever have.
Living and working in LA, despite its perks and recent promotion, felt increasingly unbearable. There had to be another way to support my parents. Anything was better than staying here, isolated and unhappy.
I dialed my mom's number, tears welling up in my eyes as she answered, her voice calm and kind like it always was causing my heart to clench in my chest.
"Mom?" I choked out, and her gasp caused the tears to rush down.
"Oh, Y/N! I've been waiting to hear from you, sweetie. How are you holding up? How's LA treating you?"
Struggling to hold back the sobs, I confessed, "Mom, I don't want to be here anymore."
"Why, baby? What's happened?" her concern was evident, soothing in its familiarity. My family were always this way, ready to listen and to help, it was a lifeline in my darkest days.
I moved to my porch, my first time outside since that night Jensen left. The quiet street offered no comfort, no answers to wether I should stay here or not. I couldn't help but notice Jensen's car parked in his driveway, a painful reminder of his absence, another reason to flee this place.
"I'm so lonely, Mom. There's no one here for me. I feel so isolated, like I don't belong here." I admitted, tears staining my cheeks.
Her voice softened, filled with reassurance. "Y/N, moving was a big decision and defiantly a hard one, but remember how excited you were when you chose this path? You were making a pros and cons list and just seemed so... happy. If you want to come home, that is more than okay with us, you always have a room here. It's okay to feel lost now, but don't give up on your dreams because of loneliness. You're not alone, honey. We're here for you, and you'll find your place there."
Others, yeah. Like Jensen. I debated on mentioning our little relationship, but I held my tongue, ashamed of my adoration for a celebrity.
"You're right, Mom. Thank you. I think I just needed to hear your voice," I sighed.
"We're always here to talk, okay? And your father and I are saving to come visit you soon." she promised.
"I know, I'm trying to do the same." I replied, smiling weakly.
After hanging up, I stayed on the porch, watching the sunset, the world carrying on around me while I remained stuck, feeling utterly alone.
The night progressed as usual, darkness concealing the streets.
Wrapped in a cozy blanket, I turned on "The Office" and sipped my hot chocolate, a small ritual that usually calmed my anxiety. Tonight, however, it offered no relief.
It struck me how consumed I'd become by thoughts of Jensen, how quickly our connection had been deepened and how quickly it burnt out. I couldn't shake him from my mind, nor did I truly want to.
Jensen felt different. The way he looked at me, the spark I felt when our eyes met, his genuine interest in my thoughts-it all left a intense impact.
His touch lingered in my memory, warm and reassuring, treating me as if I were normal, not a loner or an anxious mess.
My mind raced, questioning if maybe the issue was with me. Making friends has always been a challenge; knowing what to say or do seemed beyond my abilities. Even within my own family, I was always the more quiet and reserved one.
Anxiety tightened its grip, suffocating me despite my efforts to focus elsewhere. Unable to bear it any longer, I stumbled outside, seeking comfort on the porch, in the cool air, but the quiet night offered no relief, only increasing my sense of isolation.
My breathing grew heavy, each inhale a struggle against invisible walls closing in. I clutched my phone, fingers trembling as I debated on calling Jensen. But I hesitated-this wasn't something he needed to deal with, especially not now, not at 10:00 pm.
Yet, his words echoed from the other day: "If you ever need someone, I'm here." He wouldn’t have said it without meaning it right? He wouldn’t revoke his offer because of what happened between us....right?
My shaky hands typed a message, hesitating before pressing send. It took mere seconds before my phone pinged, his response popping up in front of me.
Y/N: "Are you awake?"
Jensen: "Yeah, on my way over."
I froze at his response when I realized that it was the last thing I wanted to hear. I never wanted him to witness me like this—pathetic, a mess, a burden. As I started to type, urging him not to come over, my trembling fingers betrayed me. Before I could hit send, I heard his front door shut, and it was too late.
In the darkness, I could see him walking towards me, concern evident on his face. He lifted his head, his eyes widening in alarm as they locked onto my trembling form on the stairs. Panic gripped me tighter as I struggled to breathe, each gasp feeling like a battle against an invisible weight crushing my chest.
He hurried up the stairs, his steps echoing in my ears, and reached my side in a blur of movement. "Y/N?... What's wrong? What happened?" Jensen's voice trembled with worry as he knelt beside me.
I tried to respond, to reassure him, but my words dissolved into raspy coughs, my body shaking uncontrollably. His hand found my back, his touch grounding yet stained with his own growing anxiety. He leaned closer, his voice a gentle plea in my ear.
"Whoa, hey. Breathe with me Y/N, slow deep breathes." he urged, his palm resting firmly between my shoulder blades.
I nodded frantically, focusing on the rhythm of his breaths, trying to match them as my vision blurred with tears of frustration and fear. His hand stayed on my back, guiding each inhalation and exhalation with a steady rhythm, his voice a lifeline in the chaos of my mind.
I forced my head lower, trying to focus on the steps below my feet. His hand patted my back for every breath, holding it there until I exhaled. “That’s right, okay good job slow it down.”
But the panic was relentless, tightening its grip on me despite Jensen’s efforts. He could see it, feel it, in the way I couldn’t stop shaking, in the frantic gasps for air that seemed too shallow. Jensen’s voice became more urgent, his words a mix of reassurance and desperate pleading.
“Stay with me, Y/N. You’re doing great, just keep breathing. I’m right here, I’ve got you,” Jensen murmured, his fingers rubbing small circles on my back, his touch gentle yet firm.
Minutes passed like hours, each second a battle against the overwhelming fear. Slowly, my breathing steadied, the grip of panic loosening its hold. Jensen's touch remained gentle yet firm, a constant reassurance in the darkness.
As calm sat between us, I lifted my head slowly, avoiding his gaze. Embarrassment flooded me-how could he see me like this? Weak, vulnerable, a burden?
"Thank you for helping Jensen..." I whispered, my voice shaky yet sincere. "I'm sorry you had to see me like this."
His hand brushed through his hair, a small smile spreading across his lips. “It's not a problem, I just....I don’t know how you handle it,” Jensen admitted softly, his eyes searching mine. “My panic attacks have never been that bad.”
His admission surprised me, a flicker of connection in our shared vulnerability. I shrugged sadly and dropped my head lower, "Their not usually this bad, but close."
"I'm just glad you're okay now," he added softly, his eyes reflecting both relief and lingering concern.
I stood from my spot and turned towards the door, avoiding his eyes that I knew were locked on me. "Well.. Thanks again, goodnight Jensen."
Before I could retreat inside, Jensen's hand reached for mine, halting my escape. "Wait, please."
Turning to face him, I braced myself for his words, uncertain of what he may say next.
"Would you like to come over? Maybe have a drink and we can talk?" his voice held a hint of vulnerability and hope.
I managed a weak smile, and shook my head. "You know what happened last time we drank together, I don't think it's a good idea."
His expression fell slightly, nodding in understanding. "I.. I wanted to talk to you about that."
Frustration crept in slowly. I was inexperienced in social interactions, but waiting days after an incident like that to talk didn't seem wise. "I was here all week. You knew where to find me, but you didn't come over. So are you sure about that?"
His shoulders slumped, regret and shame covering his face. "I know. I was lost and confused and trying to give you space since I fucked up." He sighed.
His eyes glanced down, and he stepped closer as embarrassment and regret pulled at his features. "Y/N, you're the first person I've been with since my ex-wife. You're the only one I've had feelings for and it scared the shit out of me."
"Feelings?" I felt a surge of anger, recalling that night vividly. "Jensen, when you left, you straight out said that you didn’t want that to happen. That came from your mouth. Please don’t tell me you have feelings for me if you didn’t want to do any of that with me in the first place.”
His eyes widened, mouth gaping. "Sweetheart, that's not what I meant when I said it... Fuck. I'm such an asshole. That's not what I wanted you to think."
Tears welled in my eyes, and I shrugged. "What else was I supposed to think?"
He sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. "I know. I should have talked to you sooner, but I didn't know if you wanted to see me."
He stepped closer, hand reaching for mine, eyes filled with vulnerability, "I didn't want to rush things. I wanted to take it slow. I spoke to a friend before coming here, and he called me out for being too cautious, too shy. So I tried to be bold, to go for what I wanted, but I ended up messing it all up..."
He stepped closer, brushing a tear from my cheek. "I'm sorry Y/N, I really am. I didn't handle it well at all, I should have spoken to you."
I nodded slowly, my hand reaching for his. "I understand, it's okay."
He stepped closer hesitantly, opening his arms and smiling sadly as I stepped closer, hugging him tightly to me. "I know, I messed up. I want this, Y/N. I have feelings for you. I'm just scared."
I lifted my head to face him, "I'm scared too."
His eyes locked in mine, a small smile playing on his lips. "You are?"
"Yeah." I admitted softly. "I've never been in a relationship before. People usually don't like me that much."
Jensen kissed my forhead softly, his touch sending shivers down my spine. "I like you." he confessed, his eyes meeting mine with sincerity. "I really do, Y/N."
I smiled back, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "I like you too, Jensen. A lot."
His grip tightened as he held me, putting all the pieces back together one by one. "Do you want to come to my place for a bit? The kids are with their mom until tomorrow."
I hesitated for a moment, then nodded, feeling a sense of calm settle over me. "I'd like that."
Locking my door behind me, I followed him to his house, letting things unfold naturally. For the first time, I wasn't anxious about what might happen next. I knew it would be okay.
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 7 coming soon stay tuned!
