Prompt#2
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He's sorry.
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Pairings: Levi/Reader
Genre: Angst, Soldier!Reader, regrets, smol drabble
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He's sorry.
Levi isn't the kind of man who apologises, who grovels and begs for forgiveness. His usual way of admitting he's wrong is often a gruff, almost forced apology. He doesn't like it, but he'll do it if it's necessary.
But when it comes to you, his mind screams at him to be the opposite of his usual self. To throw his composure away and do whatever it takes to have you look at him the way you used to.
He loathes your hatred filled eyes, wishing they would look at him as softly as they used to. He abhors how helpless he is to reverse time, to go back to when he he could tell you thought the world of him.
Now you don't. You don't acknowledge he exists, don't wave at him like you used to. You don't even let him feel as if he's in the room with you. The worst part is, he can't even blame you for your cold behaviour.
He knows he fucked up. And that there's no turning back from it.
Why did he have to go so far, pushing you away like that, making you feel like you were nothing to him. He could have, no scratch that, he should have at least tried to stay friend with you. Instead, his behaviour had pushed you away to a distance that was too far for him to reach.
He's never felt so strongly about someone, as he does about you. You're sweet, caring nature. Those slight giggles at his jokes. The good natured ribbing about his strength. It had accumulated into feelings that he could only wish would leave him alone.
He wants you- so so badly. But he's not used to this. The overwhelming urge to ensure your safety, to keep you close, to fantasise about you in a white dress.
It's foreign to him- so he distanced himself from you. He tried and tried to force you off his mind, to pretend he isn't noticing how hurt you are because his behaviour. But his feelings only grow stronger, and he finds himself helpless to you and what you make him feel.
By the time he manages to pull himself together and admit how in love with you he is, you've already left him behind.
And he can't blame you for it.
Everytime he pushed you too hard during training, everytime he made you do too many chores, they all drained whatever positive emotions you had harboured for him.
Just like the rest of the military, you look at him as the cold hearted Captain.
And he can only be sorry about it. Because, as he watches you excitedly converse with Moblit, he knows that he only has himself to blame.