Connor: you wont win but go ahead. distract the bitch with some deviancy stuff like “why did you save the fish” or show him a weird substance to lick; he’ll be distracted and go get your hit, he’s programmed to not hit you back but once that bitch gets the ok from Hank you’re kinda fucked. aside from that you need to ask yourself: “do i want to fight him?” fight? no. slap him? .....maybe
possible but not advised
Markus: i mean why would you???? what did markus do wrong???? maybe slap him and yell ‘NORTH IS SO VIOLENT HOW DO YOU CONTAIN HER’ but aside from that have you seen the guy? a bear on that one chart. like he probably wont hit you back since he’s a Nice Guy tm but how will you even reach tbh??? and don’t try to distract him or give him the chance to speak after the hit he’ll just fall into Cool Anime Guy and give a speech abt freedom or something so he’ll bore you to dead
again possible but do you want to be bored to dead as punishment??
Kara: Do. Not. This bitch will Fuck You Up. she’ll recognize you as a threat to Alice and b oi do you want to open that can of worms? Kara won’t hesitate to whoop your ass if you make a move against her coz that could also mean Alice, mom powers activated and don’t even try to be sneaky she’s gon’ catch ur ass.
impossible, not advised AT ALL
Luther: if you have issues do it. Luther will let you hit him, he’ll hit you back and you’ll get knocked out, once you wake up luther has you wrapped in a blanket with a cup of tea and he’ll ask you why you did it and talk it over, it’s a therapy session tbh. the price? probably a damaged face for the rest of your life but hey at least its not money
only advised if you want a cup of tea with a therapy session (:
Hank: oh you’ll win this fight. you’ll win this fight. the man is mostly too drunk to keep himself on his legs but are you sure you want to do this? the man has lost his kid, has got to deal with connors shit daily, wife who?... cmon guys give him a break...
guaranteed win, but at what moral cost?
Gavin Reed: DO. IT. FUCK THIS BITCH UP. you honestly think he doesn’t deserve a beating at this point? cmon lbr, even if you like him he deserves a punch in the face. will you win it? honestly who even cares you managed to get all those QTE in the game right, you’ll get one punch in probably and thats all that matters, your pain is worth his, what are you waiting for? GET A MOVE ON!
you’ll get punched in the face at least once but GO FOR IT
Ralph: you might win, really depends on his mood. if he’s in Bad Ralph mode he’ll fuck you up but if he’s in Sad Ralph mode he’ll probably just break down and cry, you might want to punch him, he can be a dick but hey the guy has been through so much do you really want to punch him? i mean you could also put a blanket over him and comfort him, you’d both be much happier, your call dude but dont tell me you werent warned when you get a knaifu in your chestu
might win? always consider the blanket option dude
Amanda: YES!!! You will win and do you have any hecking reason not to do it??? you’ll have a crowd cheering you on, hit the bitch!! moral compass who? we only know hitting amanda here, Connor will probably in the back taking pictures yelling ‘YOU’RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE!!’ dont dissapoint ConCon!!
completely possible, highly advised
Simon: sure you’ll win, the guy will try to fight back but you’re still stronger, the guy was a goddamn kindergartener or smth he won’t hit back too hard but do you want this? do you really want this? this guy will grit hit teeth and not back down until he dies, he’ll just keep asking you why you’re doing this and why? why exactly are you doing this? if you don’t know either maybe you shouldn’t. don’t fight simon, thatd be sad :(
guaranteed win, guaranteed loss of respect from everyone
North: honestly do it. you might even win dude, can she fight? got shot once and fell down smh, markus, concon and kara all got shot wayyy more times and just walked on so you might win this my dude, still not sure tho, might come of strong. but should you? honestly do it, she needs to be put in place for once, hey life aint sweet for all of us, one (1) sweet ass whooping should do it.
might win, ‘eh’-advised
Josh: yeah i mean go for it, same case with North, i mean Josh we all love you with all your peaceful bs but sometimes god sometimes one ass whooping aint that bad either. just show him that a bit of a fight aint all that bad... by involving him in one (: you’ll probably win it but Markus will probs intervene and fuck your ass up, same case with Simon and North actually, always make sure Markus is derived from the equation my dudes
might win, ‘eh’-advised
Jerrys: WHY WOULD YOU??? they just want to see children smile??????? like for one sec what did the jerrys do wrong to you???? were they too kind to you, make you smile too much?? besides they don’t want to fight at all but i mean if you fight one of them the others will just stop you and ask you why you’re doing this....
dont do it, not advised at all you heartless
