#jess headcanons

[syntaria]

I will ship KakaIru until the day I die but the reality is that this marriage comes with Gai and Tenzo, and I neeeed more fic where Iruka comes to that conclussion in affectionate exasperation of opening his front door to scattered scenes of domesticity of Tenzo helping trim the dogs nails and Gai cheerfully rearranging the fridge while Kakashi drapes himself over Iruka's back whining about how long grading is taking

Meanwhile, Kakashi is adjusting to Anko, dragging horrified Kotetsu and Izumo along for the ride, and she doesn't care if you were about to get intimate, she'll sit right here and start ranting to Iruka about some dumb shit the new guy from TI had done (Izumo is puttering around the kitchen whipping up apology tea; Kotetsu is trying to pretend he isn't loving every second of Anko Ignoring Iruka's Embarassed Shouts)

Genma loves their relationship too much. His internal monologue is a mix of Dad Vibes and Mother Hen

[syntaria]

The only one who left that particular grand prix banquet without a new crush on Yuuri was Christophe Giacometti.

Chris has been cheerfully (albeit casually) trying to get Yuuri into bed since Jr's, and in fact helps Phichit keep the internet fed with Yuuri content.

You'd think his favourite Yuuri is drunk!Yuuri (oh you fell in love with his thighs on a pole, Viktor? I was there when he strip teased at a drag show. Oh you want proof? I still have the heels) -- this is a common misconception because his favourite Yuuri is hungover and bitchy Yuuri, who has the filter he just lacks the fucks to use it.

He periodically @'s Yuuri food!porn; if he happens to be shirtless in most pictures, well, who can blame a guy for trying

(Yuri follows Yuuri's socials under a stealth account and is _livid_ at the audacity that Yuuri was too drunk to remember their dance off. Only a little bit because that means he's just as bad as Viktor, pining after a man who doesn't remember ensnaring them.

When he is FINALLY old enough to drink - and what the hell Bekka aren't you my friend WHY wouldn't you let me have any?! - he lets this outrage slip out _in front of Chris, Bekka why didn't you stop me_ in a rant directed at a signed poster of Katsudon's debut that Yuuko had sent him.

Chris @'s him about 60 tweets about first heartbreak. Phichit and Otabek likes every.single.one. Yuri needs new friends)

[pomniballoc]

ik i posted height headcanons at some point but i realized i never posted abt body type headcanons cus i planned to make a reference sheet at one point but forgot 😭 lupins in shape but very lanky and skinny and doesnt have a lot of muscle mass so i think hes pretty easy to pick up. he has an average build without trying too hard probably just bcs he enjoys being active and i think he likes lots of different types of foods. jigens underweight skinnier than lupin but has a bit of a beer gut from excessive drinking although i dont think he likes beer that much. i think he goes thru periods of undereating and overeating but overall doesnt eat too much unless hes not depressed. i dont think jigens ed is super severe but hes obv still effected by it. i like to think his body image and mental health generally improves as he gets older i could even see him going to a therapist for it. goemons muscular but not like. professional body builder muscular 0 body fat like some ppl draw him hes just rlly built. i think generally goemons a rlly healthy either but does occasionally just starve himself for a few days if he doesnt have access to his safefoods. same w jigen i think this was worse when he was younger and now tries to find work arounds (like in part v when he makes his own soba noodles from scratch). i dont think goemon like actively tries to be healthy he just happens to enjoy physical training and has a good relationship w food. fujikos chubby idk why more ppl dont draw her chubby. 100% projecting w this i think shes perfectly healthy and just naturally bigger. no person that skinny would have that big of boobs. i think shes in the same boat as lupin when it comes to eating where she just likes everything and isnt afraid to try new stuff and shes just as active as he is i mentioned in another post i think they go on runs together and maybe go to the gym occasionally. i dont think fuji has any body issues either i think shes very confident in her body. zenigata is fat too and hes also really muscular on top of that so hes just a big guy. zeni drinks a lot but aside from that i think hes generally healthy physically he just has periods of neglecting his need to sleep or care for himself in other ways when hes REALLY dedicated to catching lupin.

[pomniballoc]

yeah i cant find the post thru search maybe ill look for it harder later to see if my opinion changed but just in case, i think lupin does shave his asshole and crotch probably. not his ass cheeks or anything else tho. jigens very hairy and doesnt give a fuck and only shaves if he absolutely has to for a disguise or something. has NEVER shaved his facial hair but grooms it well and only trims it every once and a while. goemon doesnt have a lot of body hair naturally so he doesnt shave mostly bcs he doesnt need to but does shave his pits and crotch just bcs he doesnt like the feel of it. fujiko shaves consistently mostly in the summer but lets it grow out in the winter sometimes. i think the only reason she rlly bothers shaving in the first place is to keep up that performance of hyperfemininity so she can steal from cishet men so when she knows shes not gonna be going out or wearing revealing clothes or having sex w cishets she just doesnt bother. zenigata shaves his face and nothing else. the end.

[pomniballoc]

another headcanon post ive been meaning to make for a WHILE is lupin gangs morning routines. i think goemons the earliest (like 4am)to get up only bcs he trains or sits under a waterfall for like 2 hours depending on where their hideout is located or if hes on a solo trip. i also think that goemon usually cooks himself out of habit even if someone else did cook something for everyone. i could see his breakfasts being rlly simple like grilled fish he just caught with rice. i think hes good at personal hygiene so makes sure to brush his teeth and all that and generally has a pretty structured and healthy routine. fuji and jigen usually end up waking up around the same time about 7am and they both set alarms which do not wake lupin up even if theyre in the same bed/room as him. before they do anything they have to have coffee or theyll die. they both take it black and jigen puts a shot of bourbon or whatever they got lying around in his. i like to think they have a chat like every morning over their coffee and dont like to multitask while drinking it. they have a pretty similar routine like brush teeth, shower, brush/dry/style hair, get dressed. usually their hideouts r big enough to have multiple showers and large bathrooms so jigen and fujiko dont have to fight over it but i think they will fight over who showers first and one of them will get angry if the others taking to long especially if they have to pee. but other than that i think they like getting ready together and usually use the same bathroom for things other than showering/using the toilet bcs they like helping each other get ready. jigen makes breakfast, usually a big one even if it doesnt get finished cus lupin gets mad if theres not leftovers. fujiko isnt good at and hates cooking but jigens really good at cooking basic stuff so he makes the usual pancakes toast bacon eggs and sausage with fruit and juice or milk. he puts chocolate chips or blueberries in like half the batch of pancakes cus thats what lupin likes. goemon doesnt usually eat sugary foods but i think he enjoys bacon and eggs. lupin is the LAST to wake up and is a deep sleeper so nobody can fucking get him up until he wakes up around noon. i think his routine is similar to mine where he just does stuff when he feels like it so if theyre not working he just wont get dressed. u can see this implied in actually eps where everyone else is dressed and hes just in his fucking tank top and boxers. and ofc if there isnt any leftover food already made for him in the fridge when he gets up he throws a bit of a fit. he doesnt hate cooking but doesnt like doing it right when he gets up so if theres no leftovers he'll just pour a bowl of cereal even if its like 1pm. once he gets going tho he takes forever in the bathroom. i also think the reason he sleeps in so late is because he tends to pull a lot of all nighters and just crashes after working on some weird project or heist plan (autism adhd). when hes not doing that tho i think they all go to bed around the same time and jigen usually falls asleep the fastest (he'll even fall asleep during movie nights). lupin snores and everyone else doesnt but jigen talks in his sleep and moves around a lot and gets up like every 3 hours to pee. goemon sleeps like rock just not moving or making a sound. fuji also tosses and turns tho and tends to like pull covers which wakes up and pisses jigen off if theyre in the same bed. i could go on abt this stuff forever honestly

[pomniballoc]

i saw somebodys headcanons for the gangs opinions on rollercoasters/rides in general and i didnt read them and its a silly thing 2 talk abt anyways so im not gonna complain abt them being wrong or whatever, but it reminded me ive been wanting to post my headcanons for that for the longest time but just keep forgetting. i think lupin and fujiko love all kinds of rides and fujiko will ride pretty much anything, but lupin is afraid of dark rides and drop rides. zenigata is scared of big coasters but enjoys smaller less potentially dangerous rides. jigens scared of most rides too but likes ones that just remind him of going on a fast car chase or something. goemons not scared of anything but he hates all rides bcs they give him sensory overload and make him feel like hes gonna puke. i also think he feels the same way abt passenger planes cus like. he flies planes and rides in small planes w lupin all the time so i dont think hes afraid of heights or flying he has LITERALLY jumped off of planes before so i think hes fine w that but fucking hates passenger planes for how crowded and claustrophobic they are. jigen and everyone else i think are fine w all kinds of planes cus theyre so used to them

[pomniballoc]

heres my general headcanons 4 everyone i didnt wanna list anything too spesific just basic stuff. in my brain lupin gang r younger in pt iii than in pt ii. not even that i think it takes place before cus theres no timeline they just seem younger to me LOL

[syntaria]

As a Hinata multishipper, TenHina is still the OTP and honestly like my other Hinata ships end up shipping them too? And i just start thinking:

Overprotective Neji Getting Totally Dissed Because Tenten Has So Much Dirt On Him As Team Members (and Hinata laughs at him because he can't bring himself to do the shovel talk on Tenten's behalf because CONFLICTING RESPONSIBILITIES)

Kiba tried to be overprotective for like an hour, but it hits pretty quick Tenten reminds him of Hana so he just stans her as a Big Sis and has No Concept Of Personal Space so just casually joins them on dates (Shino has to drag him away sometimes)

Shino is the least receptive to Tenten because people accept her so easily when he has to try to be recognized and she's taking his friends away so easily and what if they leave him behind - and then one day Tenten just thanks him for being quiet and sane and so accepting of her and her team into their lives and Hinata is braiding the flowers the kikaichū like into Tenten's hair and Tenten is admittedly very still when the kikaichū come out but she doesnt try to swat them away so he guesses she's not a bad match for Hinata, who is smiling beside him like his input matters to her

(Gai and Lee question Tenten at first, because Hinata is just so quiet?? Is Tenten sure? Wouldn't Ino be more fun? And Tenten basically throws the village's collection of kunai at them because What The Hell Kind Of Question Is That, Hinata Is Her Girlfriend Not A Fucking Rival, and they apologize profusely even as they cry tears of joy and start planning the wedding because Such Passion!

Akamaru is bribed with the greatest ear scritches known to ninkind, but Hinata snuggles are better and he and Tenten get into glaring matches when he casually pushes her to the side and whaps her with his tail)

Now, Hanabi. Hanabi is not happy with the match. Not at all. But Tenten is better than that blond village idiot that Konohamaru is obsessed with. This commoner may not be worthy of the Hyuuga name but she's a decent combatant so there's worse options

(Kurenai doesn't give anyone the shovel talk, she gives them both the "my home is your home but no nookie till you're married" talk)