#jesse hayer

[revlinuxjr]

Having your non-verbal signals recognized, understood, and reciprocated might be the (platonically) sexiest thing around.

Never in a million years would I think it would melt my heart so bad to be able to just hold my hand out with my pinky outstretched and friends just *know* that I feel overwhelmed and want to hold a hand (or just a finger) to ground back in.

Other standouts that make me feel very fuzzy:

-just a little tilt of the head asking "are you okay"

-tapping their leg to ask if they or I can put our legs on top of each other

-a little hand motion asking for a hug, or to just lean against them for a sec

Coming from a family that isn't super physically affectionate, it's so amazing to have these kind of things with the people around me, I guess

[revlinuxjr]

toledo is kinda pretty sometimes, actually

[revlinuxjr]

For my first photography post here, I've just got some highlights from the past two months! Mainly, these are from a super foggy night that came down on campus. It was a super cool shoot, and gave me some of my favorite ever shots.

You can find more shots in higher quality w/ commentary on my portfolio here!

[revlinuxjr]

Platonic yearning saga takes a turn

The pipeline of "I'd make out with my friends if they asked (desperate, depressed straight kid)" to "no, I would never, that's weird (transitioning and in a poor relationship)" now landing on "I'd make out with my friends if they asked (comfortable in my own skin, but now attention/touch starved to all hell)" should be studied.

[revlinuxjr]

maybe a stretch to explain, but in another episode of the "being in love with your friends is nice" saga, it's a bit odd I think to realize that yearn just... For their presence?

like, I'm a very physically affectionate person, and also a chipper, want to do things person. I'll miss some of my friends over distance often because I want to go out do an activity or something

but like

Finding it a new experience that I'm just like 'i really wanna just lay on their floor and let them go about their day like I'm not there, but I am there, but I'm not'

perhaps not as groundbreaking for others, but a foreign feeling for me, to yearn seemingly for the proximity

[revlinuxjr]

dude, I hate being a creative that enjoys so many different mediums but none of them seem to grab me to the point of obsession the way I kinda wish they would.

like, my photography is pretty close, but is so predicated on actually feeling able to stand that day.

i wanna write. and draw, sometimes. or edit.

[revlinuxjr]

started new blogs for my writing and my photography!

hopefully trying to drive more traffic to those interests and to clean up this place a bit better, lol

my writing blog

my photography blog

[revlinuxjr]

Got the opportunity to work with some friends from the film department on their senior capstone. A midwest horror gig, they offered me my first experience with dedicated BTS photography, and I'm extremely grateful to them for that.