Summary: Missing a piece of herself she knows will never be replaced, Ella Stevens can only hope to make it through her last two years of high school and earn some extra money waitressing at Luke’s Diner. When Jess Mariano, Luke’s New Yorker nephew and the new teen menace of Stars Hollow, arrives in town, it quickly becomes clear he has no plans to make her life any easier. But as time goes on, neither of them prove to be quite as they first appeared.
“Either the Darkness alters—
Or something in the sight
Adjusts itself to Midnight—
And Life steps almost straight.”
- We grow accustomed to the Dark (Emily Dickinson)
“ Look, all I’m saying is that a poem about the impending doom and the dissolution of humanity might not be the best pick for a family friendly event. “
The man in the ugly sweater vest sitting behind the dark oak desk spoke into the phone as he moved on hand through his short hair, slightly gripping it in frustration.
“ I know Francis but this just isn’t the content we’re looking for. Not for this specific event at least. It’s more about, you know, getting kids into reading. Show them that literature can be fun. We don’t want them going home pondering about death and the reason why god has abandoned us, to say it with your words. “
Olivia couldn’t suppress the little smirk forming on her lips as she listened to him slowly but surely losing his mind over this conversation. Oh how she wished she could’ve heard the other side of it all. The person on the other end must’ve been quite the character. This call had been going on ever since she had stepped into the store and there was no hint of it stopping anytime soon.
The guy behind the desk was definitely not the one she was looking for but maybe he could help her find him. Or at least help her find this Jess girl. Maybe she knew more about bus boy.
Curiously she let her eyes travel around the shop. There were bookshelves everywhere, stocked to the brim and containing all kinds of topics. Non-fiction, science fiction, and most of all local authors. A few couches were set up, and the walls were lined with paintings depicting some kind of abstract scene made out of various shapes in various colors. Olivia didn’t really understand abstract art, never had, but to each their own. There was one of those obnoxious green library lamps placed on the front desk, and a sign set up saying “Assistant for hire “. It looked cozy and quirky and homey and geeky all in one.
“ Hey, sorry it took so long. Can I help you ? “ a voice pulled her out of her daydream. Sweater vest guy.
“ Oh uh — maybe. I’m looking for Jess. “ Olivia replied, walking up the the desk.
Sweater vest guy narrowed his eyes at her for a second before his face changed into an expression she couldn’t quite put her finger on. It looked an awful lot like pitty.
“ Are you the girl from last weekend ? I’m sorry but I think you shouldn’t be here. Look, I’m sure you’re a sweet girl and one day you’re gonna fight a great guy. I just don’t think that’s gonna be Jess. He’s ... just not there yet. You should go. I don’t want you to get your heart broken. “
“ Wait … Jess is a guy ?”
Silence. For a hint of a moment the two kept staring at each other mirroring a look of utter confusion, only the mumford & sons song playing softly over the speakers in the corner of the shop providing any sound.
“ Yeaaah ?! So I take it, you’re not the girl from last weekend ? “ Sweater vest guy spoke up after a while.
“ No. I’m not. I’m Olivia and I need to give something back. I think Jess could help me return it. “
Sweater vest guy nodded and held out his hand to her. “ Okay, great. Hi I’m Matthew. Sorry you had to hear the ‘It’s not you it’s him’ speech it’s a — it’s a guy thing. Anyway, Jess has gotta be somewhere around here, probably in his office. Let me go get him. “
“ Thank you “. Olivia returned, still a bit confused by the entire situation.
As he hurried towards the back of the store, Sweater guy Matthew turned back around. “ You sure you’re not the girl from last weekend ? Sure you haven’t slept with Jess before ? “
“ Positive. “
“ Okay,cool. Just making sure. “
Just a few moments after Matthew disappeared behind a dark wooden door with a frosted window in the middle, the sound of footsteps coming back towards her, caught Olivia’s attention.
“There he is “ Matthew exclaimed nodding towards the person to his right and slumping back into his office chair behind the desk .
Her eyes moved towards the other person in the room who was curiously looking back at her. His hair fell messily around his face and there was a hint of utter confusion found in his eyes. The suit and tie were gone and exchanged for a pair of dark jeans and a simple gray t-shirt. Though he looked way less dapper and out of place than he did the night before, there was no doubt in her mind, that this was the guy from the bus.
“ Hey. You’re not the girl from last weekend “ Jess spoke up, raising an eyebrow in question.
“ I told him I wasn’t !“ Olivia replied, turning back towards Matthew for a moment “ I told you I wasn’t !”
“ Sorry. “ He answered absentmindedly, nose already stuck in a mountain of paperwork
“ So if you’re not the girl from last weekend, who are you. “
“ My name’s Olivia Clarke. We were on the same bus last night and I found something that I thought you might wanna get back. “
Fumbling around in her old rucksack for a moment, Olivia finally pulled out the notebook and handed it back to it’s rightful owner.
Jess eyes fell onto the book and, as his hands took a hold of it, looked it over as if to make sure it was still in one piece.
“ Don’t be so suspicious. I didn’t do anything with it. It’s still in the same condition as it was when you’ve been scribbling up a storm last night on the bus. “
His eyes snapped up from the book and straight towards her. “ Did you read it ? “
“ No. I just opened it to find a name or address to return it. Clearly it worked. You’re welcome by the way. “
“ Sorry.” he replied, eyes softening a little “ Thank you. For — you know — taking it with you. Bringing it back. “
“ Sure thing. Seemed important to you. “
“ It is. “
“ Cool.”
“ Yeah. “
Silence.
The awkward tension grew thick and unbearable as the two stood facing each other, neither really knowing what to say.
Olivia was never really any good at social situations likes this. She could be the life of the party if surrounded by people she felt comfortable with, people she knew, but whenever she was faced with new people she turned back into the insecure awkward girl she always tried so hard to leave behind.
“ Jesus Christ, could you guys be anymore awkward. I’m feeling uncomfortable just being in a room with you two. “ Matthew spoke up from behind the paper mountain. “ Offer the girl some coffee or something. “
“ Our coffee machine is broken. There’s no coffee here. “ Jess responded. “ All that we have is half a pizza, the last can of beer from the poetry reading with that weird frat guy you hired last week, a donut from this morning missing two bites aaaand a lemon cough drop. “
“ Offer her the cough drop “ Matthew called out, the paper stack of paper and folders now growing so high, his face was hidden from Jess and Olivia.
“ You want the cough drop ? “ Jess inquired, raising his eyebrow in question.
“ Uh — no thanks. Are you okay over there ? “ Olivia called out towards the man, in imminent danger of being buried alive beneath a tidal wave of tax reports, receipts and invoices.
“ I’m fine. This is a creative work environment. “ a voice called back.
“ You sure ? “
“ I’m positive. Jess, tell her I got this. I’m good. “
Looking back at him, Olivia was met by Jess shaking his head. “ He’s not good. He hasn’t got this. “
“ I can hear you, you know ?! “
“ And I’ve been telling you that we need to hire a secretary. An assistant. Anyone. “
Olivia perked up at Jess’ words. “ You’re looking for someone to help with the paperwork ? “
“ Yeah. You looking for a job ? “
“ Not directly but I’ve got some business here and I don’t wanna live in a motel forever so a job and a stable income wouldn’t be that bad. Also I’ve got quite a bit experience with paperwork. Did my dad’s paperwork for years.”
“ Are you any good ? “ Matthew called out to Olivia, completely blocked off by a wall of paper.
“ I’m pretty good. I did our tax return for the first time when I was like 13. All by myself too. If there’s something I’m good at it’s sorting out paperwork. Which, to be fair, is not the coolest talent but it comes in handy every once in awhile. “
“ Alright then, work your magic “ Olivia heard Matthew speak up just seconds before he abandoned his place behind the desk and walked towards the door.
“ Wait. You mean now ? “
“ Uh-huh. You said you were good, here’s your chance. I’m gonna get coffee. See you guys later.” Matthew replied before stepping out of the store and onto the streets leaving Olivia and Jess by themselves.
“ I — alright. I guess I’ll start ? “ Olivia asked, raising an eyebrow at Jess.
“ Sure. “
“ Okay. Cool. “
“ Mh. I’ll be in my office, if you need anything just uh — just yell. “
“ Alright “ Olivia nodded and sat down on the big chair behind the desk that was littered with paperwork.
Just before he closed the door to his office, Jess turned back towards her. “ Olivia ? “
“ Hmm ? “
“ Thanks, again. For returning the notebook. “
“ I love you. I genuinely love you. From the bottom of my lonely little heart. “
“ Okay, I think she got the point. “
“ I really love you, Olivia. “
Matthew stood before the desk, a cupholder holding 3 steaming cups of coffee in his hand and eyes wide with childlike wonder. One would think he’d just seen Olivia work a magic spell or something when really she had just done what she had said she would, sort through the Truncheon paperwork.
“ It wasn’t that bad really, It was just … a lot at once. You guys really need to keep up to date with your paperwork. “
“ Yeaaaaah, I guess we do. OR , you could apply for a job as an assistant here and I could put in a good word for you with the boss. Win win situation, really. “
Jess was watching the exchange with a smirk on his face. It had taken him a long time to find a place that really felt like home, most of his life really. For a while he’d thought that maybe that tiny quirky town in Connecticut with the Gazebo, with her, could be a home to him. Then that turned to shit and so did his attempt of finding a place with his father and he was left with nothing, again. Looking around now, at the business he helped build and at Matthew who, with his crazy antics and preference for booking eccentric poets,had become one of his best friend. And suddenly home didn’t seem so unattainable after all. This was home now and it was a good one.
“ Who’s your boss ? “ Olivia asked, a smirk on her face.
“ That uh — that would be me. Me and Jess. Also Chris but he’s not here right now. So it’s me and Jess you have to convince. I adore you already and Jess owes you for returning his notepad.”
“ Notebook! “ Jess chimed in.
“ Same thing. “ Matthew replied throwing a shushing motion in Jess’ direction. “ So what do you say ? “
Nibbling on the corner of her lip, Olivia averted her gaze from the two man before her and looked at the ground in unease. Having an actual job would be a massive help to her. She would be able to pay for food and transportation around town and maybe if she was really lucky she’d be able to pay for a small 1 bedroom apartment to settle down for now. It was a good job too, a job she was used to at a nice place surrounded by people who seemed nice enough if a bit weird. But maybe that was the problem after all, Matthew and Jess were nice. They were nice people who didn’t deserve her just up and leaving if her life decided to throw her a curveball once again. They deserved someone they could rely on.
“ I don’t know. I mean the offer is great and I could really need the money but — look Matthew I don’t know if and for how long I am gonna stay in Philadelphia. There’s some stuff I gotta sort out and uh — once that is done I don’t know if I’m gonna stay. I don’t think you wanna hire someone who might just have to leave one day, out of the blue. “
Glancing up through the corner of her eye, Olivia could see the guys looking at her with looks full of confusion and uncertainty.
“ Okay I’m just gonna go ahead and ask you this. “ Matthew exclaimed and narrowed his eyes at Olivia “ Are you a spy and or a bounty hunter and or in any way involved in any criminal activity ? “
“ Nope “
“ Would she admit it if she was ? “ Jess piped up from beside her, a slight hint of amusement in his voice though his face stayed serious.
“ Just because people are criminals doesn’t mean they have no morals, Jess. Have some faith. “ Matthew replied with a scoff.
“ Your reasoning is flawed. “ Jess remarked.
“ Look, I know this. “ Matthew said and placed on hand on his friend’s shoulder “ but we need help. Face it Jess, we’re whack when it comes to keeping our paperwork in check. Of course if someone hadn’t broken the last assistant’s heart we wouldn’t have to have this conversation but that’s how life works. We need help and she can help. “
“ For now !” Oliva chimed in.
“ For now. That’s good enough. “ Matthew replied and nodded at her “ Soooo, what do you say, Jess ? “
The man’s eye wandered from his co worker over towards Olivia and studied her for a moment. She couldn’t blame him, really. This was a weird situation to be in. All she had wanted was to return the notebook and in the matter of half an hour she found herself being offered a job. Things like that just didn’t happen, not to her at least.
And yet here she was, and maybe for once life had decided to grant her a little bit of luck.
“ Okay first of all, I did not break anyone’s heart. Alice was weirdly obsessed with me. I mean come on, she had a picture of me as her phone lockscreen. Not my fault I didn’t reciprocate those inappropriate feelings. As for Olivia, I guess she did do a pretty good job, huh ? “
Both Matthew and Olivia nodded.
“ Well, we do need some help around here so … I guess if you want the job it’s yours. “
“ Perfect. Soooo,Olivia. You in ? “ Matthew asked, looking at Olivia with a sparkle in his eyes like a puppy waiting for a treat.
Maybe this was just what she needed. A little stability in this adventure she had decided to embark on. Maybe this was a good sign. A step in the direction.
And so Olivia nodded.
Because maybe this was the start of something great.
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
- The Road Not Taken (Robert Frost)
“ Hey Darling. Sorry I couldn’t be there to say goodbye. I hope it all works out for you and you find what you’re looking for. I love you very much. Please be safe and call me when you get there. Good luck. I love you. Dad. “
Olivia squinted her eyes as the harsh light of her phone screen shone into her face. The buzzing of an incoming text message had woken her up from the deep slumber she’d fallen into on the way somewhere between Framingham and Hartford. Granted, falling asleep in the back of a bus in the middle of the night was neither the smartest nor the safest idea but she had just been so freakin’ tired.
“ Hi Pops. Don’t worry about me, I’m a big girl. Thanks for being so understanding. Couldn’t do this without your support. I love you and I’ll definitely contact you as soon as I set camp in Philadelphia. Give Sean a hug from me. Talk to you soon, Liv. “
A light smile tugged on the corner of her mouth, an effect her dad always seemed to have on her. He was just one of those people that immediately brighten your day and put you in a better mood. He had a constant smile playing on his lips and took the world with such positivity and love, there was no way to feel sad around him. Even as much as a text from him could significantly lift Olivia’s mood. That was just the kind of person her dad was and more often than not Olivia found herself wishing she could be a just a little more like him.
The notepad she’d been scribbling on before she had fallen asleep was still resting on her lap and the pen lay next to her on the blue cushioned bus seat. As her eyes wandered around she noticed that the girl she’d started sketching earlier must’ve gotten off at some point since her seat, a little further to the front, was now occupied by a guy with dark shaggy hair who seemed way out of place. He was wearing suit pants and a crisp white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and Olivia could even make out the tie loosely hanging around his neck. He was dressed way too fancy for a bus ride at this time of the night.
The guy was focused on the little leather bound moleskine he had resting against his legs that he had pulled up onto the seat. His hand was continuously scribbling something and Olivia found it fascinating how he could manage to write something with the horrible lighting that bus had to offer.
What a peculiar guy, she thought. Maybe he had just ran from his own wedding and was now writing an apology letter he’d eventually send off to what should’ve been his wife.
There were a whole lot of “maybes” floating around Olivia’s head these days and she sincerely hoped they’d get replaced by a few certainties soon.
As the anxiety of what was to come filled her once again, Olivia’s fingers were twitching for that last cigarette left in the front pocket of her denim jacket. It had been in there for the last 12 days and she had promised her dad she’d cut back on the nasty habit. She’d just have to stay strong. For dad.
There were lights coming up in the distance before her and few minutes later Olivia could see the Welcome to Philadelphia sign.
“Enjoy our past, experience our future.”
Olivia couldn’t help but wonder what that future would hold for her.
As she slid her notebook back into her old battered rucksack, the one with the NOFX patch and the J.D Salinger quote on the side, the one she had bought in a city that stole her heart while holding hands with a boy that stole her first kiss, Olivia let her eyes drift around the bus.
Except for her and the girl in the very front that had gotten on at the last stop and had been glued to her phone ever since, it was deserted. She knew at some point in the next few minutes the driver would get back on and scold her for wasting his precious time, tell her this was the last stop for the night and that he was looking forward to finally getting home to his wife and his kids.
It wasn’t like she was regretting coming here it was just that now she had arrived it all felt so overwhelmingly real all of a sudden. She had thought about this for so long and now that she was here, that she had a realistic chance of finding what she’d been looking for, it all came crashing down on her. For the first time in a long time, Olivia felt scared of what the future might bring her way.
She gave the front pocket of her denim jacket a last soft pat, making sure her phone was tucked away safely, and got up on her feet.
No more stalling ! No more hesitating ! This was it.
Slowly she moved down the bus, glancing left and right and wondering if any of the other passengers were just as scared as her to get off. As she passed his seat, Olivia thought back to the messy haired guy that looked way too fancy for a late night bus ride. He clearly had no problem getting off. Dude had his ass off of this bus in the matter of 0.2 seconds. Maybe he too, was going home to a wife and some kids. He was quite the looker, Olivia thought, wouldn’t surprise her if he had someone waiting for him at home.
For a moment she wondered what that felt like.
Just as she was about to walk on, her eye fell onto something on the window seat next to the one fancy pants had claimed earlier.
His Moleskine lay abandoned on the patterned seat, clearly left behind in a rush.
She really wanted to walk on, just ignore it. It was his problem really, for being careless. But that just wasn’t the kind of person Olivia Clarke was, her father had raised her better than this. Maybe fancy pants was still around outside somewhere, collecting his luggage or waiting for a connecting bus. Maybe she could hand it back to him right here right now, and if not she could still chose to ignore it then. It’s not like she hadn’t had enough on her plate as it was, she didn’t need to add other people’s problems to the mess that was her life. And yet she did. Because THAT was the kind of person she was. The kind who’d rather get lost in other people’s business than face her own.
Because facing your own problems leaves you vulnerable and vulnerable was the last thing Olivia ever wanted to be. Life was just too short to be vulnerable.
The moleskine grabbed tightly in her right hand Olivia hurried off of the bus, a chilly breeze of autumn air hitting her skin as she stepped onto the sidewalk.
The streets were lit up by brightly colored neon lights advertising frozen yoghurt and tanning studios and 99ct corndogs and a bunch of adult entertainment, and Olivia felt completely out of place.
She had lived in bigger cities before but this was her solo flight. This time her family wasn’t there to put her back on her feet should she end up failing. If she messed this one up, she’d have to deal with the consequences all by herself. To say she was scared would’ve been an understatement.
Shaking herself out of the little wave of anxiety that had washed over her, Oliva scanned her surroundings for the dude in the suit.
There was a family reuniting, hugging each other with smiles playing on their lips that took up their entire faces. The girl from the bus that had been glued to her phone, was now glued to the lips of a teenage boy who looked like he’d jumped straight out of a hot topic comercial.
There were people kissing, hugging, collecting their luggage or hurrying over towards the other bus stop. None of these people were the one she was interested in. The one guy she had hoped to find out here, was gone.
“Well great, “ Olivia thought “ here’s to adding another person to the list of people I gotta find. “
Sitting on the bed of her motel room, watching a rerun of Friends and finishing a 99ct corndog, Olivia’s thoughts wandered back towards the little leather bound book she had stuffed into her backpack next to her own notebook. There was no way in hell this guy wouldn’t want this back.
Crawling over towards the edge of the bed, she left her torso dangle over reaching out for the backpack that had been lazily dropped onto the floor as she had flung herself onto the soft bed earlier.
Her hands grabbed the book and she slumped down back against the headboard, legs crossed and book resting on her lap.
There was a tiny mind war raging inside her head. Olivia knew she shouldn’t be opening this. Knew she should just drop it at some lost and found office and forget about it. Knew that opening it was an absolute and blatant disregard of the guy’s privacy.
As the little devil on her one shoulder and the angel on the other kept screaming at each other, Olivia moved the book from one hand into the other, feeling the soft leather on her skin.
Just as she was about to put it on her bedside table and call it a night, only to let the two commence their war in the morning, a little piece of paper fell out of the moleskine.
Turning it over in her hands, she realized that it wasn’t just a piece of paper. It was a business card.
“ Truncheon Books
Publishing House
Books - Readings - Events
2114 Locust Street
Philadelphia
Jess Mariano “
Maybe this was a sign, Olivia thought, that not opening the book was the right thing to do.
And maybe, just maybe, this Jess girl could tell her where to find the guy in the suit.
Once that was taken care of, she’d focus on her problems.
