Lena believes in data. She knows her feelings are fickle and untrustworthy, that her heart is often blind to painful truths. What she wants to be true and what actually is are almost never the same, and she has learned that the only way to really know anything is to gather as much information on it as possible. She keeps logs on everything in her life, finding the careful catalogue of data a comfort.
So she looks at the numbers.
She’s been Kara’s “best friend” for two years. She has had exactly 83 one-on-one purely social meetings with her in that time, 68 of which she requested. Kara has inexplicably left mid-meeting or forgotten their plans entirely 36 times. Statistically, seeing Kara is most likely to happen when Lena initiates, and even then she’s almost as likely to ditch as she is to show up.
Lena had no invitations to group functions until the acquisition of CatCo and, strangely enough, a relationship with James Olsen. Only one of these were intentional, but how could she ignore the sudden shift? Talking about James or even just hinting at a potential romantic entanglement increased her chances of an invitation by nearly 48%! She was at “family” dinners, game nights, movie marathons. Her attachment to James was a game changer.
A part of her feels guilty for using James like this. He’s a nice enough guy, all things considered. She’s not even sure why he’s dating her in the first place. They disagree on nearly everything, their one shared trait being self-assurance that their sacrifices are always justified. When they are alone they barely speak.
But then again, she sees the way he looks at Kara. Maybe he’s run his own numbers and figured his odds go up if Lena’s there. They’re all in Kara’s orbit just desperate for every scrap they can get. And it’s not like he goes entirely unrewarded. Lena lets him kiss her, lets him take her to his bed. It’s a trade-off.
Maybe that’s why they work. They’re both users.
Lena knows the best way to verify her numbers would be to break up, to compare the results and note the differences, but Lena’s afraid. Kara is a light that draws her ever nearer and Lena will take the discomfort of a man’s touch if it means she can bask in that glow.
She’ll take those odds any day.