oc fic: nothing sweeter
An early birthday fic for my dear friend Faulkner (@hxneyfarm)!! Some jeyson, as you requested <3
The Cast Jayesh: OMC, mine Greyson: transman OMC, @dangerous-disposition's
Context: Having agreed to wait until Grey is ready, he and Jay had spend the first months of their relationship working on being intimate with each other without having sex. But a month after Jay first says he loves Grey, Grey tells him he's finally ready.
Title from Work Song by Hozier.
Rating: E || Words: 3693 || CW: none!
Jay’s in the middle of mentally correcting the anachronisms of the medieval drama they’re watching when Grey speaks.
“Jay?”
Grey says it softly, and nothing about it in particular pings anything in Jay’s mind, so his internal critic continues its monologue while he hums in reply, “Mhm?”
Tucked up into each other like they are, Jay can feel Grey shuffling a little, his back expanding as he inhales and Jay subconsciously rubs his hand over Grey’s hip. “I think I’m ready,” Grey says, still in that quiet tone.
Frowning slightly, Jay nuzzles a little into Grey’s head where he’s resting his cheek. “Mm, for what, babe?”
“To have sex.”
Warmth rushes through Jay’s body as his eyes widen and the hand on Grey’s hip tightens. That was not what he’d been expecting to hear, but Jay doesn’t mind surprises. Especially not a surprise like this.
“Now you’re paying attention,” Grey teases, and Jay lets out a gust of a laugh.
“Yeah. Uh-huh,” he says, willing a little more blood to flow back up to his brain. “Okay, cool.” Jay sits up straighter, and Grey shifts so they can both look at each other properly. There’s a pink blush to Grey’s cheeks that Jay still finds adorable. Taking Grey’s hand, he says, “This isn’t me not trusting you, okay? I just want to make sure you’re certain. I don’t want you to feel like you have to.”
Grey smiles at him in that way where his bottom lip squishes into his top lip, one corner of his mouth pulling higher than the other and making his moustache tilt. The smile that Jay always interprets as charmed, touched, a little amused. It’s one of his favourites. “I know, I don’t. Feel like I have to, that is,” Grey insists, no hints of hesitance or guilt to be seen.
“Okay,” Jay says softly, his own smile widening. “Can I ask what changed?”
Looking down, his smile going shy, Grey brushes his thumb over the back of Jay’s hand. “Yeah. After you told me you loved me, it was kinda like… something clicked. I didn’t want to rush into it just in case, but…”
Jay tucks a rogue lock of hair behind Grey’s ear and takes his face between his palms. It has been about a month since Jay first confessed that he loved Grey, and after the false starts when they began dating, the boundary setting—and breaking, and resetting that they’ve kept to so well to the point that Grey waited to be certain—Jay’s whole chest fills with pride and love for his boyfriend, almost overflowing with it. “I’m proud of you, Grey,” he whispers.
He needs to kiss Grey about it, sweetly and without any intent other than to kiss, and feels Grey’s teeth against him until he manages to contain his smile and kisses Jay back. “And I love you,” Jay pauses to murmur into Grey’s mouth, because he deserves to hear it every time Jay so much as thinks it.
“I love you,” Grey mumbles back, lips catching on lips before they kiss again, and in moments what Jay had meant to be innocent changes into something heated. The arousal he’d forced onto the back burner flares up again, low in his belly. Grey opens his mouth to Jay with a small, needy sound, and Jay licks his way in, one of his hands drifting back to Grey’s waist while the other slides to the back of his head.
It’s familiar territory, making out until they both call a stop to it because they’ve gotten too wound up, but then Grey’s throwing a leg over Jay’s lap and his brain short circuits as Grey settles on his thighs, hips so close that every wiggle feels delicious. Jay finds himself groaning and pulling him closer, kissing like he’s starved for it until his higher functioning returns.
Barely pulling back, Jay looks up at Grey and finds he really enjoys the view—Grey’s bright blue eyes shining in the shade cast by the veil of his long hair around them, and Jay’s heart aches with how beautiful he is, how lucky Jay feels—and Jay files away the ideas that spring up for later. He rasps, “So… when you say you’re ready—you can say not tonight. We can still wait–”
“I’m ready, Jay. Tonight.”
“Oh thank fuck.”
Jay surges up to catch Grey’s lips again, tasting his laughter. Their kissing grows hungrier, sloppier, both of them grasping at each other. Grey rocks his hips like he isn’t even aware of it and Jay’s cock is starting to strain against his clothes with each movement, each sound Grey makes, with the… everything. They have to move this somewhere else. Their first time having sex is not going to happen on the couch. Grey deserves better than that.
Getting his arms under Grey, Jay heaves them both off the couch. Grey yelps, laughs, but his initial flinch makes Jay stumble and in that moment he realizes he’s made a mistake. He stumbles into a wall. Grey’s back hits with a thud, knocking an oof out of him, and Jay laughs out a few sorry, sorry’s, before they’re both breaking out into giggles, kissing until Jay lets Grey down and they lead each other to the bedroom. But it’s hard for Jay to keep his hands off of Grey. As they pass through the door, Jay pulls him close for a kiss again, making Grey laugh as he walks them backwards towards the bed.
When his legs hit the mattress, Grey breaks away and slides up the bed, chest heaving as he looks at Jay with hunger, but also… something else. Something that grows and pushes Grey away, into the pillows, when Jay joins him on the bed.
Jay kneels between Grey’s knees, but makes no move to close the distance. He might be so hard it’s starting to hurt, so excited he could skip or something, but this reaction makes him pause, concern swirling in his gut. Placing his hands on Grey’s knees, he asks, “You okay, baby?”
Oh yeah, there’s definitely something going on. Grey bites his lip, and there’s a little wince around his eyes at the question. Jay doesn’t want to push him one way or another, so he settles on his knees and waits until Grey finds his words.
“I want to do this,” Grey eventually starts, but there’s a long enough pause that Jay tilts his head.
“Okay… but?”
Grey pouts a little, gives a frustrated huff. “I’m nervous. I don’t want to be, I know I want to do this with you Jay, I’m just…” He sighs and looks at where Jay’s thumb is rubbing circles on his knee, a worried twist on his brow. “You’ve never seen me naked before. And what if… what if you don’t enjoy it.”
“‘It’ like… you? Or sex with you?”
Grey starts plucking at the covers under him. “Both. I guess. I know I’m not the first trans guy you’ve ever slept with, but…”
“But it’s different because it’s you?” Jay offers, his heart sinking when Grey’s mouth pulls into a regretful curl. It’s moments like this where Jay wants to slap every person who has ever made Grey feel like he’s some kind of shameful exception to everything. He grips Grey firmly like he can impress his next words into his skin. “The only difference is that I love you so much that it blows my mind, Grey. Daily. I’m gonna enjoy it because it’s you.”
Blinking, Grey looks back up, surprise and tears making his eyes even more blue. Someday, hopefully, he’ll never be surprised to hear anything like that from Jay. Until then, he'll keep saying it until it sticks.
With a bit of shuffling, Jay crawls up beside Grey, still maintaining at least an inch between their bodies with the exception of their hands, fingers twined together between them. “I love you. I am attracted to you,” Jay insists gently. “Seeing you naked is gonna be, like, one of the top ten moments of my life.” He grins, and Grey laughs a bit thickly, but beyond the humour Jay means it sincerely. “And it might be kind of awkward at first, but I know I’ll enjoy having sex with you if you’re enjoying it too. Okay?”
Grey squeezes Jay’s hand, shyly meeting his gaze despite the tears gathered in his lashes. “Okay. I believe you,” he replies softly.
There’s a small, nervous tremble to his voice still, but he doesn’t pull away when Jay slowly gets closer. Instead, he meets him halfway. “Good," Jay whispers, and he brushes away a tear that had started to slip down Grey's cheek, kissing him softly until Grey starts pulling at him.
"Jay, please," he breathes, and the words shoot through Jay like a static shock, spurring him into action. Nodding faintly, Jay follows the pull of Grey's hands, climbing over Grey and continuing to kiss while he slots a knee between Grey's legs. Grey gasps into Jay's mouth when he presses his leg against him. It's one of the sweetest sounds Jay has ever heard. He needs to hear it again, and he does when Grey rocks his hips, grinds himself on his thigh. Jay chases the sound with his tongue.
They'd gotten here once, early on, before Grey froze up under him and Jay had to calmly lead him back to himself after a moment of panicking that he'd messed up somewhere. But now, Grey isn't freezing. He's kissing back like he needs it to live, hands balled up in Jay's shirt, making these noises that are driving Jay nuts. There's no hesitation anymore, only want, and Jay lets the last of his own hesitance slip away as he rolls his hips down and groans at the friction he'd been craving.
It's nearly heavenly, just dry humping and making out with his boyfriend. Grey's needy whimpering is getting louder, his hands grabbier. They pull at his shirt, and Jay whips it off before catching Grey's lips with a small growl. He wiggles Grey out of his shirt too, barely pausing to admire the sight, too caught up in how good it feels to grind his cock against Grey's hip. But now that he can, Jay wants more. He shifts his weight to one forearm and touches Grey's side, slowly tracing his way to the hem of Grey's sweatpants. Once Grey realizes what Jay's asking, he quickly nods and babbles, "Yes, yes, yes."
Feeling the coarse hair under his fingertips alone makes Jay's dick throb, but pulling back and watching Grey's face when Jay grazes his dick and follows the hot, slick line of his slit makes Jay leak.
"You're so wet," Jay says, a little awed, and Grey whines impatiently.
"Because I want you, Jay. Please, it's been so long, please—" Jay cuts him off by slipping his fingers between Grey's folds, making him shudder and gasp.
Fuck, Grey's so gorgeous like this.
Gathering some of his slick, Jay starts to stroke Grey's dick, feeling it twitch between his fingers. Jay's determined to learn every little thing that gets Grey off, one by one, so he can give Grey everything he deserves and more. He's keyed into every twitch of Grey's body, every sound he makes. Satisfaction flares in his chest when Grey's mouth drops open around a moan, and Jay keeps up the motions that pulled that noise from him until he's writhing.
"J-Jay—oh god—hang on—" Grey gasps. Jay stills, even before Grey's hand stops him.
"You okay, baby?"
Grey nods, catching his breath. "Yeah. I just." His blush deepens, and he half-turns his face into the pillow. Jay pulls his hand out from between his legs, making Grey shiver, and Jay has to fight the urge to taste his fingers to keep his tenuous focus on his boyfriend. Grey continues with a self-conscious laugh, "It's cheesy, I dunno."
"I love cheese, you know I do," Jay smiles, and Grey laughs again, genuinely this time.
"Yeah, you do." Grey smiles up at him, face still tucked into the pillow, and Jay needs to kiss him, so he peppers a few kisses into Grey's cheek and feels the warmth of it and the way it pulls into a wider smile. With his eyes closed, Jay doesn't notice Grey's turned his head until their lips touch, and Jay hums into the kiss. Then grumbles, because Grey's broken the kiss with a giggle.
"Baby, I… I don't want to come until you're inside me," Grey says, his voice growing breathier as he speaks.
Oh. Jay swallows, his higher functioning momentarily gone, and Grey has to be able to feel how that made his cock throb so hard it hurt.
Grey's eyes flick between Jay's and he asks, "Is that okay?"
"Yes. That's such a great idea, babe," Jay breathes, kissing Grey briefly before tearing himself away to stand, scramble out of his pants, and grab some lube. In his eagerness to strip, his knee slips and he almost falls off the bed, but Jay recovers while grinning like a dolt as Grey covers his mouth to stifle his laughter. He wasn't quite this clumsy before he met Grey, but every slapstick-esque fumble is worth the embarrassment if it keeps making Grey happy.
It isn't until Jay's clambering back between Grey's legs that he notices that Grey's naked too and he stills, mouth dropping open a bit as he whispers, "Wow…"
Jay gets all those romance cliches now. The breath taken away, the feet being swept, all of it. His hands move on their own, touching the swell of Grey's pecs, tracing the scars beneath them reverently. He loves the roll of skin at his waist and the softness of his belly, grateful for the evidence that Grey's put on weight. The way Grey's light body hair thickens under Jay's fingertips as his hands descend further is so hot, but what makes Jay's breath hitch and his mouth salivate is his dick, flushed and perfect between the apex of his thighs. He nearly gets tunnel vision; he's that desperate to get his mouth on it, but Jay drags his eyes up to his handsome, wonderful, perfect boyfriend's face before he totally loses his mind.
Grey's beautiful down-turned eyes hold a tension, a nervousness, that Jay needs to banish immediately.
"You're gorgeous," he insists gently.
"Says you," Grey deflects shyly, but Jay smiles, raising a chiding eyebrow while he shakes his head.
Slowly leaning over Grey, Jay holds his gaze, both serious and adoring when he says, "You are so gorgeous, Grey. I can't believe my boyfriend is this handsome, it's crazy." There's tears in Grey's eyes again when Jay kisses him, slow and searching. When he begins to kiss his way down Grey's neck, Jay keeps talking. "I am so lucky," he says between kisses, "that you trust me. That you love me."
"I do, I love you," Grey whines quietly.
"I love you too." Jay kisses the faint jut of his collarbones, his knees shifting, and the change drags the head of his cock over Grey's cunt, brushing his dick, and they both gasp.
"Jay. Jay—"
"I've got you, baby, I've got you."
Jay's almost trembling as he props himself up, nearly drops the lube when he's done with it, and takes himself in hand. He breathes deeply and looks at Grey, lines up, and gently pushes in. And. Fuck.
The warmth of him. The softness. Jay's jaw drops as he exhales heavily, watching Grey's brows knit together, his teeth catching his bottom lip. Neither of them look away from each other. They're both speechless, the sounds of Jay carefully working himself deeper into Grey loud in the silence of their shared gasps. Jay is so caught up in watching Grey, the blissful feeling of his cunt, and the charged, cautious energy between them, that he doesn't notice how deep he's gotten until his hips hit Grey's and he's buried to the hilt, his whole body shuddering like it's the first time he's had sex.
"Fuck," he whispers, voice shaking, smiling faintly at Grey who's gazing back at him in awe. "How do you feel?"
"Good. I…" Grey's voice is thick with emotion, but he's returning Jay's smile even as he sniffles and blinks away his tears. "So good, Jay, this is—" He chokes out a laugh, gives a small, needy whine, and pulls Jay in. He goes easily, forever willing to do anything Grey asks of him, and the kiss is as sweet as it is desperate while Jay waits for Grey to give him permission to move.
Once Grey murmurs a brief okay, Jay breaks the kiss to gratefully press their foreheads together. Finally Jay allows himself to glance down, needing to see where their bodies are joined and moaning deep in his chest when he gives an experimental thrust. His eyes flutter closed as he rolls his hips in one slow, sinuous motion, the tight heat of Grey's cunt around him almost too much after all the build up and waiting. And, shit, the noises Grey's making, little sighs and whimpers, make Jay wonder what he'd sound like when he's being railed.
Next time. Right now Jay's committed not just to having sex, but to making love. He has to show Grey his trust isn't misplaced, and that he's loved, cared for, honoured; worthy and deserving of all of it and every bit of pleasure Jay can offer him.
Jay's thrusts are smooth, steady now that he's found his rhythm, and he looks at Grey again, finding him with his head back against the pillow, eyes closed but not tightly, like he was savouring the experience. At a change in the angle of Jay's thrusts, Grey lets out a soft, drawn-out moan, Jay's name slipping out at the end like a prayer and a plea. It's one of the most beautiful things Jay has ever heard.
Cupping Grey's cheek, Jay kisses his jaw, his cheekbone, the corner of his moustache. Another whimper, and Jay gave in, kissing Grey and matching the movements to his tongue to the rhythm of his thrusts and pulling another high moan from Grey.
"I love you," Jay whispers breathlessly, cutting off Grey's response with a greedy kiss.
"I lo—mm—I l-love you too, Jay. I love you so much." Grey beams up at him, truly crying now, and wraps his arms around Jay's neck. Hooking a foot over Jay's leg, Grey starts rocking to meet Jay, and Jay has to drop his head to Grey's shoulder at the feeling, instinctively fucking him harder, driving deeper, chasing the need that's been building in his core for so long. Grey's cries grow louder, needy little yeses slipping out. Jay is shaking with the effort of holding himself back. He can't come before Grey does, but he can't last much longer.
Slipping his right hand between them again, Jay finds Grey's dick and works him in time with his thrusts. Instantly, Grey keens, his own rhythm failing as he pushes into Jay's hand, his limbs clinging and grasping at Jay, pulling him closer. Aborted moans of Jay and love you and the delicious tightness of Grey's cunt drive Jay nearly to the edge, to desperation.
"Come for me," Jay rasps, pleads, practically babbles as he feels his climax racing closer. "Please, baby, come for me, need you to come, need to feel it." The more Jay talks, the more debauched Grey sounds, the harder he grips Jay's shoulders. Jay lifts his head so he can watch Grey fall apart under him for the first time.
Grey struggles to keep his eyes open, failing at the last minute as he goes taught and clenches down hard, his breath caught in a silent cry. He's so fucking beautiful with his head thrown back, his eyebrows drawn together, soft lips parted and gasping. Jay loves him so much that the word barely encompasses what he feels. He's going to marry this man someday, Jay thinks in that moment, delirious on pleasure and devotion, sure, but oh so certain of it.
Jay fucks him through this orgasm, sobbing brokenly when the dam finally breaks and he spills inside Grey's cunt, sparks going off in his fingers and toes and along his spine as he ruts helplessly a few more times. When he's finally spent, both of them trembling a little, matching smiles slowly breaking out across their faces, Jay goes to pull out. The leg around his tenses, though, and Grey whines, surprisingly bratty. Laughing silently, Jay just kisses Grey for it and settles in for as long as Grey wants. He'd be content here in Grey's arms forever anyway.
As they come down, Jay presses soft kisses anywhere he can reach, and Grey traces his fingers along Jay's back while they find their voices again. It's easy. It's bliss. Jay's the happiest and luckiest he's felt, maybe ever. All he can hope for is that Grey feels the same.
Eventually, it's Grey who manages to speak first.
"Was that good?" he asks, suddenly shy again. Jay, having tucked his face against the side of Grey's head, chuckles and blows a loose raspberry near Grey's ear and mimes an explosion near his own head. Grey laughs nervously. "Is that good or bad?"
"Mind blowing," Jay replies, his voice a little hoarse.
"Yeah?"
"Oh yeah." He pulls Grey's body impossibly closer. "You? Feeling okay?"
Grey grins, bashful, and does his best to help Jay's embrace fuse them together by snuggling closer. If Jay's heart could burst out of his chest and do a joyful little tapdance without it being something out of a horror movie, it would. "It was kind of amazing," Grey admits, a shine to his eyes. "I feel so good, it's—" He swallows, and Jay kisses his cheek, tasting salt. "Perfect. Honestly. I love you so much, Jay, thank you."
He turns his head and Jay doesn't bother to hide the sappy, smitten expression on his face. "I love you too, Greyson," Jay states simply. Because it's a fact, like the sky being blue.
dividers by @/cafekitsune
