Double-Edged Sword
Hi guys, I hope you are all doing okay and I hope you enjoy this reading. Sorry in advance for grammar mistakes and if you have some requests let me know ♥
a special tag today @lullabieswrappedinlies thank you so much for cheering me on.
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He touches your thigh, and you look outside the window. He can't read your thoughts just by that, he can't, so why do you have to repeat it to yourself more than once? You were still thankful your leg isn't shaking like a dog's tail.
There was still sand on your lower back somewhere and you could focus on that till you couldn't, till he says something while his hand was slipping out of your thigh, till there was nothing left to talk about but; "Hey, wasn't it weird when Pamela confessed to everyone she canceled her wedding because of me? Right." Tonight you can't find out who was behind the torturer black mask, Pamela, James or yourself.
A long sigh, red light, red traffic light. You don't want to do this right now.
"(Y/N)…"
"I'm so hungry." You cut him out impulsively.
He got silent, went back to waiting again, you knew it too well. It was a Halpert thing to hate the passive aggressiveness of it all, but this is the result of your denied intuition taking physical form in front of both of you and everyone you worked with, so powerful, that the minimal flashback alone was enough to trigger that burning feeling, building on your stomach and climbing its walls. Say, "I told you so."To your boyfriend wasn't going to make it go away. She was in love with him or is in love with him currently.
"Fucking unbelievable." You let escape the words. "Can't believe I'm still hungry." Was your best saving.
It wasn't his fault, is the field you wanted to remain, but there was something within the mix of feelings wanting to retreat to the comfort of somewhere where he wouldn't be at aswell.
"We can stop at that new pizza place we've been wanting to go."
He was trying, but you could easily capture the hint of tension and how low and deep his voice got. You didn't want to be unfair or immature. There were a million different patterns your tricky mind could take a trip on, but no of them would replace getting the answer out of his lips.
"No, let's just go home." You turn to look at Jim. His eyes were already locked on you. You give him a small smile, a white flag, to show him you were still willing to listen at some point. There was no gratification in shutting him out, a bad habit you promised to quit. His eyes soften and get back on the road, a couple of seconds later he parked in front of your house. There is silence, but there was no harshness behind it, just no words till both got inside. Some deep parts of you were still afraid it could be the final moment of peace before it all falls, the fear of just not knowing, maybe.
You hear the sound of the door closing when you got to the couch. You sit and let your head fall back closing your eyes for a moment. The sound of his steps coming closer was all your attention was wrapped around, suddenly the confidence on a fair communication failed apart like delicate glass, now that it was about to start, now that you felt the heat of his body next to yours on the couch.
"I think I'm scared." You laughed it out, the best way you could "The only thing we ever fought about was over takeout, it was so stupid."
"It wasn't even a fight, we were just too hungry."
"You right, we can't even call that a fight." You agreed, now actually smiling when recalling that moment.
"Are we going to fight right now?" Jim asked. You open your eyes, desperately wanting to look into his, but he was inclined forward, elbows on top of his tights, his hand ran over the back of the neck you observed.
"I wanted to, but not anymore. I wanted to fight you and your buddy at that damn beach." The words flew out casually like you were talking about your day, any other day.
"Two at once, ambitious." He joked and reclined back looking at you with a smirk.
"Too soon."
"I understand you are angry. You have the right to be, but. God (Y/N) I swear-
"We are just friends? Yeah… Don't think so. If she dared to say those things it is because she sees you as an option, Jim." His eyes widen and his breath got heavier.
"I don't care what she sees, I'm not an option, never was, my thing is with you and she knows that."
"It doesn't seem like that to me." You felt physically weak thinking that next Monday you would have to look at Pamela's face. Worse than being angry was being angry and sad in a balanced way, both feelings battled inside.
"I'm going to talk to her tomorrow." He stated, and you gave him a bitter laugh.
"Of course you are."
"And It will be best if I back away from her as well. It doesn't give her the right, but I think she is just confused and sad, she lost years with Roy."
"Or maybe she is sad that she didn't choose you before."
"She couldn't choose me when I have already chosen you. Come on (Y/NN) I didn't wait years for you to change my mind over someone else instantly. I'm not going anywhere." Jim turned to face your answer. You felt the compromise in his voice, as you heard it before too many times, as you saw in the way he looked at you, you saw it right now. In the end, you couldn't blame anyone that wanted a piece of him, that wanted his attention and time, you are no stranger to what was so magnetic about him and what would also be the double-edged sword, putting you up to test. As long as you saw the reflection of what you feel in his eyes, there was no way you could let anything come in between.
"Anywhere? Not even to my very spacious bathtub where two people fit very well, I may add?" Your hand landed on his chest and traveled to the back of his neck grabbing gently on his hair, knowing what it did to him.
"Ok, so that's one place I'm going."