#jim l wright

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Piedmont Porchlight Stories - Ned McElwee

(as told by Ned McElwee, late of the Jewel Tea Route) You ever see lightning caught? No, you haven’t. And if you say you have, you’re either lying or from Georgia, which is the same thing. But I have seen it once, maybe twice, though some days I can’t rightly tell if I saw it or dreamed it, which in my experience makes no real difference. It was back in the summer of ’63. Not the famous one.…

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Lyin' Leo is Caught Out

“Back in my day,” the old man cackled, spitting a stream of tobacco juice that narrowly missed a passing chicken, “we had a feller in our town by the name of Leo Smoot, though most folks called him ‘Lyin’ Leo’ for the pure and simple reason that the man would climb a tree and tell three lies before he’d stand flatfooted on the ground and tell the truth. It wasn’t malicious, you understand. Leo…

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The Demon Hunter’s Family Tree

A Piedmont Porchlight Story Carl Lilburn took pride in his work, which was unusual, considering his work did not officially exist. If you asked Carl what he did for a living, he’d say he was between things. If you asked him what he really did, and you asked in a tone that suggested you could keep your mouth shut, he’d tell you he hunted demons. Not metaphorical ones. Not bad habits or poor…

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The Return of Tommy Wayne - Chapter 8

Ol’ Man Eustace and the Huddle House Gospel Now, I ain’t one to eavesdrop, least be not on purpose.But when you’re sittin’ in your regular booth at the Huddle House, mindin’ your grits, and the Sheriff hisself strolls in lookin’ like he’s seen the devil pullin’ weeds, well, a man’s ears just naturally perk up. I been watchin’ this town long enough to know when something’s startin’ to simmer.And…

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The Cupboard Was Bare, But So Was the Management

            Mangled Fairy Tales First thing I want understood is this: I never asked to be immortalized in song as a hungry dog. A dog has got pride. Not much, dependin’ on the dog, but some. We may chase our tails, lick ourselves in mixed company, and eat things better left unidentified, but we do possess a sense of reputation. Mine has been dragged through nurseries for generations by people…

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That Wall Wasn’t Up to Code

            Mangled Fairy Tales I’ve heard it all my life. I had a great fall, and I won’t deny it. I fell. There’s no honor in pretendin’ otherwise when half the town heard the crack. But I object to the way the matter has been handled in public memory. “Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.” That’s what they say, like the whole tragedy can be folded into two lines and…

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The Hill Was the Problem

People have made a nursery song out of our misfortune, which is how you know nobody involved had to carry the water. “Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.” That is the official version, neat as a biscuit and twice as dry. It gives the impression of two cheerful children takin’ a wholesome little stroll for refreshment, perhaps singin’ to birds and learnin’ the value of…

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Occupational Hazard

(The Three Little Pigs’ Building Inspector Speaks) I didn’t arrive until after the wolf was long gone. By then, the paperwork had become considerably more interestin’. Now, before we proceed, I’d like it noted that I’m a Certified County Building Inspector with twenty-three years of experience, a clean record, and a blood pressure condition directly attributable to residential construction. I…

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