#jjkmeta

[shiruba-tsuki]

Geto Suguru & Gojo Satoru Parallels - Parting Ways POV    ↳ Jujutsu Kaisen 0 • Jujutsu Kaisen S2 ep. 05

[zolusbian]

fucked up in the club thinking about how even in his deepest fantasy megumi could not allow himself to be an active participant in his own desire. he does not want yuji for himself; he wants tsumiki, who is more than a person to him, who is an unattainable ideal all in her own, who is everything megumi is not, who is the inverse of megumi, to walk alongside yuji.

megumi wants to be tsumiki. megumi admires tsumiki. he tells himself he hates her, but in reality, he hates the fact that he feels he is not a "good" person, i.e. someone worthy to save, and he literally projects all of that onto tsumiki. but because this is what he feels he lacks, this is what he's most attracted to. not in an incestual way (although metatextually, outside of the familial incest, we might think of this as incestuous desire in that it is turned inwards towards megumi instead of outwards.) in other words, for megumi, his attraction to the people he keeps in his life is very much one of differences. magnets. yin and yang. and so on.

so that brings us back to his deepest fantasy--even here, when he's reflecting on what he wants his life to be like, he has to split part of him off (represented via tsumiki) to be the one who walks with yuji. you could, less charitably, interpret this as megumi wanting his two favorite people in his life to be happy with each other, which is true. he certainly loves tsumiki and yuji both, and he certainly wants them both alive in his fantasy. but by pairing them together, he does not have to look inward.

he does not have to confront that his "type" of person is someone with "unwavering humanity" which is the same kanji as yuji's name. he can, instead, export his desire for yuji onto tsumiki, whom he has already built as an avatar of the parts of him that he has closed off (his empathy, etc) long ago.

had tsumiki lived, i think megumi would have had to reckon with her as a real person and not simply a movie screen on which to project himself. we see some of that in their flashback with her throwing the milk at him. i think the fact that tsumiki has been in the coma for so long at the start of canon has also let megumi essentially mythologize her. but to accept tsumiki as a real person, he would first have to accept himself as a real person.

yuji is a real person.

and megumi still struggles to acknowledge that yuji, whom he loves, can be in his life, alongside him. megumi does not have to live "for" yuji. he only has to live with him.

good thing they have all the time in the world to figure it out.

[shiruba-tsuki]

— I'm tired. Exhausted, even. Yeah, I'm exhausted. I've already done enough.

[shiruba-tsuki]

Baby Nobara ♡

[shiruba-tsuki]

Geto Suguru & Gojo Satoru Parallels - Opening Sequence    ↳ Jujutsu Kaisen Hidden Inventory Arc • Jujutsu Kaisen Shibuya Incident Arc

[shiruba-tsuki]

Geto Suguru & Gojo Satoru Parallels - JJK 0 • JJK S2 ep. 15    ↳ Gojo Satoru was Geto-sama's one and only best friend.

[shiruba-tsuki]

Geto Suguru & Gojo Satoru Parallels - "You're late"    ↳ Jujutsu Kaisen 0 • Jujutsu Kaisen S2 ep. 04

[shiruba-tsuki]