unLucky loved.
Yes, I admit it.
I fell for your cocky attitude.
I fell for your sweet scent.
I fell for the way you simply existed.
And I let myself believe it meant something.
But I have to admit the truth—
I don’t feel the same anymore.
I admit it was a mistake,
a mistake I kept slipping into,
again,
and again,
and again.
This love of mine was too easy.
Too careless.
It drained me.
And God, I hate it.
I hate what I felt.
I hate how much I let it break me.
These feelings… they were messy.
A turn off,
but not really a turn off—
just something that confused me,
consumed me,
and left me empty.
Distance.
Reality.
You’re a married man.
A widower.
And honestly, it’s not even the issue.
I don’t judge you for your past,
nor the life you lived before me.
But I know this won’t work.
Not with the way the world talks.
Not with the way people look.
I’ve already received enough judgment in my life,
and I can’t bear to add another stain
to the image I’m still trying so hard
to build for myself.
And so I apologize—
not to you,
but to myself.
For letting my heart wander where it shouldn’t.
For allowing a feeling that had no place to grow.
For hurting myself with a love
that was never meant to bloom.
I’m sorry.
I’ve sinned in silence.
I’m sorry.
I can’t accept these emotions.
I’m sorry.
Because deep down, I know—
this was never right.