i went into this knowing it was meant to be something casual. it’s not like i haven’t done that before, i’m capable of casual, but you were even more stunningly beautiful in person than i ever could have imagined. i knew the moment i saw you i was fucked but i tried so hard to suppress the trance you put me in. as if that wasn’t enough, you had to end up being one of my favorite people i’ve ever been around. your energy was infectious and made me forget about how numb i normally am when you’re not around. making me feel something opened up too many doors and before i could grasp what was actually happening all i knew is that my head was spinning and my heart was aching for you. i’m sorry i fell weak. i’m sorry i let myself like you more than i was supposed to. i’m sorry i was stupid enough to think the way you laid your head on me at night, listened to my heartbeat, and let me play with your hand in mine meant that you were silently professing feelings for me too. i’m so stupid to have thought we were on the same page. i feel so empty without you here and now i wish i could go back to being numb because i’m sick of all this pain. i know i’m not good enough for you, or anyone really (that’s why they always leave) but i just thought we’d have a little more time. we were so good before i went and opened my big mouth. i never should have said anything. fuck.