Poisoned
Title: Poisoned
Fandom: Riverdale
Pairing: Kevin Keller/Joaquin
Note: I wrote this because I was fed up of expecting this kind of talk on the show. You can also find this on ao3 under TheKlainer (MoonlightShines)
Joaquin was lying upside down on Kevin’s bed, fiddling with a ruler as Kevin finished up his homework at his desk.
“I need that,” Kevin said playfully, as he rolled towards Joaquin with his office chair and snatched it out of his hand.
Joaquin rolled his eyes, and heaved out a heavy sigh.
“I promise I’m almost done,” Kevin said, “then we can do something fun.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, you want to watch a movie?”
“I’m here. At your house. In your bedroom. Waiting as you do calculus and trigonometry for an hour, and you want to watch a movie when you’re done?”
Kevin’s cheeks coloured. He hoped Joaquin wouldn’t pick on him for that. Screw him for just wanting to cuddle with his boyfriend for a bit.
Kevin dropped his calculator onto his graph paper. “Babe, we can do whatever you want in five minutes, just let me finish.”
Joaquin rolled off the bed and wrapped his arms around Kevin from behind his chair.
“Your schoolwork can wait, Keller.” He said lowly in his ear, “I can’t.”
Joaquin’s words spread a warmth in Kevin’s chest. He rotated his chair so that he was facing him again and Joaquin climbed onto his lap, tilting his head down towards Kevin’s so that his hair fell in front of his face. It was too tempting. He needed to finish the damn math. But Joaquin was there, on top of him, arms snaking around him, and he couldn’t stop himself. His hair was so beautiful.
Kevin took a strand and tucked it behind Joaquin’s ear.
Joaquin was so beautiful.
“Yeah?” Kevin’s voice hitched, eyes flitting from Joaquin’s eyes to his mouth.
“Yeah,” Joaquin breathed, and then they were kissing.
Kevin loved kissing Joaquin. For all the toughness he exerted his lips were soft, and he all but melted into Kevin’s embrace. Kevin’s heart was racing, he could almost hear the blood rushing through his veins, his hands almost shaking at the prospect of making him shiver under his touch. It made him feel powerful. How could he keep this treasure a secret? He wanted everyone to know. His friends (they did know, Kevin couldn’t help it), his classmates, strangers, his dad.
Look at this boy in my arms, he’s mine.
“Fuck homework,” Joaquin muttered after he kissed the pulse point on Kevin’s neck, trailing back up to meet his lips.
Kevin’s head was thrown back against the black leather of his chair, eyes closed and breaths laboured as he held onto the exhilaration and bliss that engulfed him.
“Fuck me.”
The weight on his lap disappeared instantly and Kevin opened his eyes slowly, jarred awake by Joaquin’s eerie silence.
He hadn’t meant to blurt that out. He hadn’t meant to at all, but it was what he wanted, wasn’t it?
Joaquin was half across the room, hands tugging his hair and eyes squeezed shut, pacing.
“Joaquin,” Kevin said hesitantly, “we don’t…There’s no pressure at all-”
“You want to be with me? Like-like that? For real?” His eyes were imploring, almost hopeful, and his mouth twitched up into a tragically beautiful smile.
Kevin was taken aback. “I… Yes. Of course, I do. Now or eventually, whenever. You’re my boyfriend.”
Joaquin’s eyes dimmed at those words, and his smile disappeared completely.
“No, I’m not, Kevin.”
Kevin got up from the chair and grabbed Joaquin’s hips. Joaquin’s eyes fell to where his hands were on his waist before looking up at Kevin.
“Joaquin,” Kevin said, soft and caring, “You are my boyfriend. I want to be with you. I don’t give a damn about you being a serpent. That doesn’t change anything.”
Joaquin pulled away from him angrily. It wasn’t fair. Being a serpent didn’t change things. It defined them. All this status, all the trouble he went through to be a part of something where he could take control of his life, and he couldn’t even get what he wanted. He didn’t need to be a serpent to get what he wanted. The only thing he actually ever felt like wanting. It was too late now. He could tell Kevin everything, and then he’d have nothing. FP would skin him alive. He’d be hated by half of the city’s most dangerous men for backstabbing them. Even worse, he’d be hated by Kevin. He’d be digging his own grave.
But Kevin didn’t deserve this. And Joaquin didn’t deserve this false taste of fantasy either.
“You don’t get it Keller,” Joaquin said, shaking his head. “This relationship you think we have? It’s fake! This was all fake. I’m not your boyfriend, okay? It was all a scam.” He’s yelling now, frustrated tears welling in his eyes.
“What?”
“You’re my job, Keller. I’m here because Jughead’s dad wants me to get information from your dad. I don’t even fucking like you!”
“That’s a fucking lie.” Kevin said, narrowing hard eyes at Joaquin. He sounded scary, and it surprised them both, Kevin never thought of himself as threatening, but he would never let himself be taken advantage of. It never happened, and it sure as hell wasn’t happening then. He had the ability to make his words drip with venom if he wanted to. He knew how to defend himself. “You don’t think I would know when someone is fucking with my feelings? Do you think I’d fall for that crap?”
Joaquin stared silently with his arms folded around his jacket. He had such sad eyes. It was something Kevin had a hard time wrapping his head around. How could Joaquin be pulled into a world so messy and violent like the South Side Serpents? He wasn’t aggressive at all.
Joaquin griped his jacket tighter, his knuckles going white. Why did Kevin have to be so smart? With a tilt of his head and a depreciative twitch of a smile he whispered, “I know.”
“Then tell me what the hell is going on.”
Kevin was stone cold angry, but Joaquin, Joaquin was crying.
“I like you. I like you a lot, Kevin. I fucked up. I-I’m falling in love with you.” Joaquin confessed, his voice cracking through his silent tears.
Kevin stood speechless.
Love?
“I can’t- I can’t . I can’t do this anymore without it being real. I want it to be real so bad, Kev.”
Kevin walked up to Joaquin, and wiped the wetness from his face with his hands. Kevin was taller than Joaquin, he stood over him defiantly, almost passive if not for his caring hands on him, visibly unaffected by watching the boy’s face crumple at his touch.
“Why are you crying? I’m the one who’s been screwed over.”
Joaquin swallowed a sob, “I’m upset,” he snarked, pushing away Kevin as he swiped at his eyes angrily.
Kevin stared at Joaquin, a sniffling mess in his bedroom. What a complex. A snake with a heart.
“You can’t be upset over something that isn’t real Joaquin.”
“…Okay?”
“Don’t you get it?”
“What? You want me to say it outloud? I want you. I fucked up. I just lost the one good thing going for me. I get it, okay?”
Kevin closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. When he opened them, Joaquin was still there, teary-eyed, heart opened and so so unlike the boy he made himself up to be.
Well, he decided, he’d have to show him.
“Was it your idea to get information from me?” Kevin asked.
Joaquin frowned, “…No.”
“Did you kiss me at the drive-in knowing who I was?”
“The truth?” Joaquin whispered, and Kevin nodded firmly.
“FP caught us making out and forced me to do it or else he said he’d find a way to make me regret it.”
Kevin made a face at the mental image of Joaquin being threatened by FP. He felt momentarily bad for Jughead. Then he thought, and hated himself for it, what else did FP force Joaquin to do?
“Do you know who broke into my house that night?”
Joaquin recoiled. “Someone broke in?”
“And stole all of dad’s case files on the case? Yeah.” He couldn’t help the bitterness that crept into his voice.
“No, I swear to god I have no idea.” Joaquin looked so pained Kevin was afraid he was going to throw up.
“Okay,” Kevin shushed him, bringing him in close and hugging him against his chest, “I believe you. It’s okay.”
It wasn’t though. The young serpent said so in protest. It couldn’t be okay, how could you let it be?
Kevin reached down for Joaquin’s trembling hand and squeezed it. “One last question?” He led to him to his bed, sitting crossed legged and insisting a hesitant Joaquin to follow suit.
Joaquin nodded, he’d tell him anything for the smallest chance of keeping Kevin in his life. For Kevin not to never want to see him again. Even if that meant he’d have to give him up.
“If you approached me that night at the drive-in on your own just because you liked me, then what about any of this is fake?”
“What?” Joaquin said blinking up at Kevin in shock. “I lied to you.”
“Yeah, and that really fucking sucks, but you actually decided to tell me when you didn’t have to.”
Joaquin frowned, “I was being selfish Kevin,” he admitted quietly, “I did it for myself.”
“No. You did it because you didn’t want to hurt me. I was willing to sleep with you and you realized not only how much you genuinely liked me, but how much you couldn’t bear me being tricked into thinking our relationship was “fake”. You can’t tell me that was selfish. No other guy would do that.”
“I-”
“Babe, I’m not an idiot. I knew you were a gang member from the beginning, but I trust you because believe it or not you’re not some scum serpent you’re making yourself out to be.”
“I don’t deserve you Keller.”
“Most don’t,“ Kevin sighed dramatically, done with the drama, done with the heartache, “live with it. You’re mine.”
It was the right thing to say. Joaquin finally understood. Kevin actually meant it. Everything really was okay. Joaquin knew that Kevin was resilient and strong minded, but he could have never thought he’d be so compassionate so fast. Kevin still wanted him. He wanted this to work as bad as he did. And just like that the fog was lifted and Joaquin’s signature smirk returned. “I’m yours, huh?” He teased, brushing their shoulders together.
“You heard right, what’re you gonna do about it?”
Joaquin kissed him hard. When he opened his eyes to his boyfriend’s expectantly closed ones, he bit his lip and smiled coyly.
“How about snuggling up to a movie?”
Kevin grinned.