#joel h

[imladris-soldier]

I don't entirely understand everything going down at RoosterTeeth, but there are 2 things I know for certain:

1. I love Joel Heyman, and I always will.

2. I love Adam Ellis, and I always will.

[aplaceforrtprompts]

(Congrats on the milestone, btw!!!!!) And for the thing: Joel Heyman, "Gold, Guns, Girls" by Metric, and for plot....him and the reader are former crewmates who get together for "one last heist" and things start to go wrong and it makes them realize they have feelings for each other beyond snippy banter, one liners, and joking about how much they save the other from getting killed. sdkjlhkadjhlkfgda

Word Count: 1,241

Warnings: Blood, guns, normal GTA things

Song: Gold, Guns, Girls by Metric

“God, when did we get so boring?” you moaned sitting down at his desk.

Joel just looked up at you with a half smile and shrugged, “We grew up.”

You leaned to look at his computer, just spreadsheets. “We use to run this town before those Fakes showed up it was the Cock Bites. Me, you, Burnie, Gus, Matt, Geoff. Geoff’s still in it though. Why can’t we be?”

Joel turned away from his work, clearly, you weren’t going to let him finish, “We got older. I mean how many times can we save each other's asses before it’s the last time. Better to do it on our on terms and while we’re still breathing.”

“It’s ironic though isn’t it?” you asked.

“What is?” he sighed, dramatically but you knew he was just being Joel.

“That we work at a bank? I mean how many did we rob back in our prime. Who let us work here?” you teased and Joel’s hand went up to cover your mouth.

“Shh,” he hushed, “People are nosey around here. Why are you even bringing this up.” You licked Joel’s hand and he pulled it away giving you a disgusted look. “Why?”

You just hopped down of the desk and shut his door, locking it before returning back to him, “I caught wind of a job.”

“Another job? Is it a bank? Is their health insurance good?” he questioned.

You punched his shoulder, “Not that kind of job. A real job. An end all be all. One last mission. Just me and you. I know Burnie and Matt went over to the dark side with the police and Gus is underground and we all know where Geoff is. I’d do it on my own but I’d really love some backup. We do this through and bye bye banks and hello private island.”

“What are you talking about? We can’t just pick up and go do some random job. We’re not twenty anymore,” Joel looked at you incredulously.

“This is what we’ve always talked about though. Our final mission. I caught wind of a special delivery on the dock tomorrow night. Worth millions. I even managed to find someone with a few photos of the plans for the movement of this shipment. Some very bad people have some very special crates coming in,” you grinned wickedly.

“No. We’re done. Out. We can’t do this,” Joel refused.

You took a few steps closer and ran a finger down his chest before leaning up and whispering into his ear, “It’s gold. A shipment of pure gold.”

When you step back Joel just hung his head and held out his hand, “Let me see the plans. You know I can’t handle it when you talk dirty to me.”

The whole next day you were on a high. You weren’t going to lie, you missed heists with a passion. There was something special about the thrill of the prep, almost getting caught, then getting away with it all. Sure your crew managed mostly small heists back in the day hence the day jobs now but this was it. This is what you have all been dreaming of.

You practically bounced into the car when Joel rolled up.

“Shouldn’t we have a getaway driver? Are we sure Gus wasn’t available?” Joel asked ignoring your enthusiasm.

“What’s wrong? Can’t stand being alone with me? Can’t keep up old man?” you teased.

Joel rolled his eyes but the smile evident on his lips, “If we’re in there and we need a quick escape us rushing to a running car with a driver who was ready we’d get out a lot quicker is all. All though being alone with you is always a dream of mine.” He pat your thigh.

You froze as he touched you, a strange sensation running through you but you chocked it up to the adrenaline.

“That’s the Joel I remember,” you shook your head at his comment, “Now remember how to get in and out. We have only a small window but it's there.”

“Yes, mom,” he half sang.

“Okay, smartass, go over it again. I want to hear it,” you urged him.

Joel went over it over and over the rest of the way to the docks. All your intel was holding up as you snuck in. The pile of gold was more than you could ever hope for. You began loading the bag up as fast as you could. Joel kept an eye on the time as also loaded his bag.

He grabbed your shoulder, “Okay. Time’s up.”

“Just a few more,” you waved him off.

“Y/N, come on,” he urged.

“Almost done. I want to load up,” you explained.

“Hey!”

You looked up alarmed, the voice wasn’t Joel’s. A gun was aimed at you. You were quicker though and grabbed yours and before the guard even thought about pulling the trigger there was a bullet in his skull.

“Go!” you shouted though Joel was already ahead of you, grabbing the door.

You heard more security behind you as you took off. You didn’t dare look back. There was gunfire but you were lucky in dodging it. You were almost to the car when suddenly you felt something rip through your chest.

You clutched at the fabric, wet and sticky. If you could see in the dark you would have guessed red. You looked to Joel who was at the driver’s door. Fear written on this face.

His face was the last thing you saw before your world went black.

You didn’t expect to wake up so when you did it was with quite the start. You yelled out in pain and grabbed your chest in fear.

A warm hand took yours though and you looked around until a pair of familiar eyes found yours.

“I’m not dead,” your voice cracked.

Joel let out a half-hearted laugh, “Had to save your ass one last time. Well, really Jack did. She stitched you up. I brought you here though.”

“Jack? Are we- Is this-” you looked around carefully but the room was windowless.

“Geoff’s place? Yeah? Only place I could think to take you. He was cool with it and a cut of the gold,” Joel looked displeased at that last part.

“A cut? We made it? Last job was a success?” you asked hopefully.

Joel sighed and ran his free hand through his hair, “You could say that. I want to talk to you about something though. We can take our share and go. Anywhere you want. I don’t care as long as that was our last job. Promise me,” he looked down at you, waiting.

You sighed and looked away, “Joel. I’m fine. We’re good but that was so much fun. You don’t want to do that again?”

“No!” he slammed his fist down. “You were out for three days. I thought you were dead. I thought you were gone before I could tell you.”

“Tell me?” you raised an eyebrow. “Tell me what?”

Joel looked conflicted and he opened his mouth a few times, nothing came out though. He finally just leaned down and kissed you.

You were shocked but it felt nice, it felt right. You wrapped your arms around his neck keeping him there until the door burst open.

“Well, it took you two fucks long enough,” Geoff smirked, standing in the doorway. “Only took one of you almost dying though.”

[squadmum-blog]

phone background for my fave.

[anupliftingoperation]

[aplaceforrtprompts]

Would you accept some Joel h x Ray x Ryan and the prompt is Rays a super awesome coolio and joel and ryan think they have no chance whatsoever with the swag dankest meme master, they are right of course rays way out of tehir legue but ray love them anyways

Joel hesitantly wrapped his arms around Ray who instantly took his spot leaning into the older male. Ryan rubbed Ray’s legs gently as they were kicked into his lap.

“So this is, like, okay? We’re going to be a thing now. All three of us?” Joel questioned.

“I mean, sure. Why not?” Ray grabbed the controller for the xbox to turn on a movie for the three of them to watch.

Joel shot Ryan a questioning look and Ryan just gave a shrug as a way of telling him to just go with it.

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ooh lov yur work!!! joel h is pretty awesome and hunky!!! how about some good old joelay but everythings the dame except joels is a sexy underwear model

Word Counter: 870

Warning: NSFW

Joel was hot, sexy, an underwear model, or as he put it tall, old, and in an ad once. So okay it was more than once but the point is he never became a household name and he didn’t like to talk about it much. Its also why he took a job offer from his friends at Rooster Teeth to be more than just a voice actor for them. No one really knew what Joel did now. No one asked though. Most of the office didn’t even know of Joel’s almost nude days. That was at least until today.

Michael ran through the office giggling once he snagged his mail and ran straight to the Achievement Hunter office, slamming the door behind him to draw everyone’s attention

“Today is a very important day in history fellas,” he announced ripping open a flat package and pulled out a dated magazine. “Do you know what I have here,” he asked standing on a chair and holding the possession up as if he was in The Lion King and the magazine was Simba.

“Very poor taste in porn mags,” Geoff rolled his eyes at the old Cosmopolitan.

“Close,” Michael laughed softly and began flipping through the pages, smirking as he found the one he wanted and held back the page before raising it to everyone again.

“No fucking way,” Geoff shouted, jumping up to snatch the magazine.

“Is that-”

“It can’t be.”

“Oh it is.”

The boys and Lindsay crowded around one of Joel’s old ads. A quite revealing one at that. The ad was set on the beach and Joel was laid out in a pair of wet, white briefs.

“How did you even find this?” Gavin looked wide eyed at the photo of their coworker.

“Someone mentioned he use to model. So I was determined to find something. No idea I would find this gold,” Michael snickered.

The boys settled and lost interest quickly enough and Michael just tossed the magazine on his desk without care. What he, and everyone else, failed to notice how quiet Ray was through the whole ordeal or how his eyes kept moving back to the magazine until lunch.

Everyone else left when Geoff called for lunch, Ray pretended to be too engrossed in his game to want to come with. Once he was sure everyone was gone he swiped the magazine and ran off to find a quiet office he knew he wouldn’t be bothered in.

Ray found the most recent empty one and slipped inside before quickly finding the ad with Joel. It was bad enough he already was getting feelings for the much older man but now he had already gotten half hard just thinking about him on the way over.

It didn’t take long for a full erection with how the ad literally showed off every bit of the tall, dark haired man. Really, why was there underwear at all? What was he suppose to be selling? Not the point. The point was Ray’s shorts were so restricting.

Ray took a breath and leaned on the desk with one hand imagining Joel behind him, his hands on him as he unzipped his shorts and pulled his cock over the waistband of his boxers. There was enough precum that he didn’t need any additional lubrication as he slowly started to stroke himself. He closed his eyes as he imagined further what Joel could do to him, letting a soft moan roll of his lips.

Joel on the other hand was now trying to find a place with some peace and quiet. He didn’t want to deal with anyone right now. Didn’t someone just quit that had an office, maybe that was clear.

Joel quickly maneuvered through the hall to the empty, or so he thought, office.

He swung the door open and froze at the sight before him. Ray was touching himself over one of his old ads. Did he just moan his name? Why did that sound so good? Joel wanted to just stand there and watch but he couldn’t with the door wide open and he didn’t want Ray to stop.

The older male licked his lips and quickly backed out of the room but left a crack so he could watch and hear. He almost started touching himself as Ray pumped faster when suddenly there was a voice behind him.

“What’cha doing there, bud?” Geoff asked.

Joel jumped and slammed the door shut before he could see. Ray on the other side, jumped and covered himself as quickly as he could not sure what happened.

“Nothing! No one!” Joel shouted very unconvincingly.

Geoff let out a laugh, “Whatever you say.” He watched Joel a moment longer before leaving back to the Achievement Hunter office.

Once he was out of sight Joel entered the room to a stuttering Ray, “Listen I- I can explain.”

Joel turned to lock the door before turning back to Ray, “How about you explain to me just exactly what you were imagining I was doing to you.” Joel smoothly pulled his own shirt over his head.

“Oh hell yeah,” Ray replied instantly forgetting the ad now that he had the real thing in front of him.

[aplaceforrtprompts]

Hmm saw your fics in teh tags and kind of curious would you if your not too busy write a FAHC Joelaywood? thank you kindly

Word Count: 658

Tap. Tap. Tap. Joel could not stop bouncing his pencil on the desk. He was trying so hard not to look at the clock and instead look at the work in front of him. He just couldn’t focus though. He should have never been told there would be a heist today. He was always so nervous during heists. Shouldn’t they be back by now?

Joel had been taken on as the accountant for the crew, like they weren’t worried about their taxes being done or anything like that but someone needed to know how much they each got and how to keep track of expenses. Geoff had known Joel before his heist days and had kept in touch, finally bringing him on board when he felt the crew needed a little organization in the finance department.

Joel wasn’t fully clued in to wait was going on at first but he wasn’t dumb he was pretty sure right away whatever was happening was most likely not legal. It wasn’t until Ryan got shot on a heist and brought back bleeding did Joel demand answers. Once he had them he simply went about his job as if he were just a normal accountant doing causal business.

To be honest Joel had no clue why he had stayed. He had an out. Geoff would have let him go knowing he would have kept his mouth shut.

No wait that was a lie. Joel knew why he stayed. He was fascinated. With the job? No. With the pay? No. With Ryan? Yes.

Ryan didn’t say a lot and that caused Joel to take notice. Normally when he could hear everyone celebrating a victory or planning the next job they were all loud and shouting over one another but not Ryan. Ryan just sat back only adding input when he was needed. He shot Joel looks every now and then that said something along the lines of ‘can you believe these guys?’

They never spoke an actual word to each other until Ryan had gotten that injury. He was forced to sit on the sidelines for a couple of smaller jobs. The one upside to Ryan being hurt was it ended up just being him and Joel hanging around the hideout.

It started with small talk then slowly moved to more refined topics and finally actually getting to know each other as more than just Vagabond and the pencil pusher.

Sure Joel cared about the other’s too and he would never admit it but his main concern was Ryan getting back in one piece. Yeah, Ryan was smart but he had also been injured before. All of them had. They didn’t normally take this long, did they?

Joel let out a frustrated sigh and rubbed his face with his hands just trying to relax himself. He was getting worked up over the most stupid stuff.

THUNK!

Joel jumped in his seat and looked up just in time to see Geoff start laughing at him, “Your boyfriend had the rest.”

“Not my boyfriend!” Joel shouted after him, shooting a glare the mustached man would never see.

“Could have fooled us,” Michael snorted filing in behind Geoff and the rest of the crew following.

Joel let out a grunt at him. His mood suddenly changed as finally a painted man came in last. A weight he had no idea was there lifted from his chest.

Ryan gave Joel a knowing smirk as he looked over his face. It was like he knew what was on his mind. Ryan stepped around the desk Joel was sitting at. Joel turned in his chair to watch him as Ryan moved closer. Ryan closed the space between them and finally leaned down for a soft kiss, “Give it time. I’ll change that boyfriend status.”

Joel just gave him an incredulous and befuddled look before finally snapping out of it as he heard Geoff cackling at the two of them.

[aplaceforrtprompts]

The Proposal

Pairing: Joel H x Barbara

Summary: Joel lost his engagement ring for Barbara

Word Count: 645

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” Joel mumbled mostly to himself as he rifled through his and Barbara’s drawers in a more furious fashion then he was just doing. Joel wasn’t really sure when the drawer’s became ‘and Barbara’s’ or when most of his stuff had become ‘and Barbara’s’ but he wanted to keep it that way hence the frantic nature he was currently in.

Joel was now flinging clothing out of the drawers trying to find the tiny box that held what he hoped would be Barbara’s engagement ring. Hopefully he hadn’t lost it but he was so sure he had hid it in the back of the sock drawer or was it the underwear drawer? What if Barbara found it???

Joel honestly thought marriage was kind of stupid. That never works out. He’s seen it over and over with his friends. He thought weddings were a complete waste of money all the way down to the engagement ring. Joel loved Barbara though. Barbara would probably never ask for all that but he also believed she deserved the moon and stars and everything in between. And against what he thought was his better judgement he bought her a ring. Joel wanted to give her said ring tonight if he could find it.

Joel was back in the closet now rummaging through every pocket he could find, huffing after every single one turned up empty. Joel was now audibly groaning as he was throwing clothes off the racks, tearing up the bedroom.

Barbara finally got home and had heard Joel. She was hesitant to check on him because last time he was making noise like this it was over stocks and honestly she preferred to just let him be in those situations. Still she made her way to the bedroom and made it just to the doorway as one of her jackets went flying past her head.

“What in the world?” she questioned scanning the room.

“Not now. Gotta find it,” he mumbled and began rummaging through the clothes he had thrown onto the floor to make sure he didn’t miss anything.

“Joel, what are you looking for? Maybe I can help,” she asked as she began looking through the mess with him.

“I need to find Barbara’s engagement ring before she gets home,” he stated, honestly he thought he was still talking to himself.

The blonde froze dropping the shirt that was in her hand. “What?” her voice was softer than a whisper.

Joel looked up but then kept digging, “Your engagement ring. Gonna make dinner, watch a nice movie, have some wine, then ask ask. Hopefully you’ll say yes but I need to find the ring first.”

“Joel,” Barbara stated a little more firmly trying to get his full attention.

“What?” he looked up, frustration written across his face.

“Yes!” she jumped on him, tackling him to the ground.

“Yes?” he wasn’t even sure what he asked as he caught her. What was she saying yes to?

“Yes, I’ll marry you,” she grinned before pulling him into a deep kiss. Finally the light bulb went off and Joel’s eyes widened at what had happened but he relaxed into the kiss and melted at her touch as he always did.

When they pulled apart, Joel rolled a little to get a better grip before feeling a small pain in his hip.

“Oh hey,” he said reaching into his pants pocket and producing a small box causing a laugh from his now fiancee. Opening it up for Barbara to see the vintage ring he had picked out, laced with diamonds. Not over the top but not too simple either.

“Still have a chance to take that yes back,” he offered taking the ring out and slipping it on her finger.

“Never,” she smirked as she admired the sparkle for a brief moment and then resuming their previous kissing.