Living by Faith, and not by Sight
So a few nights ago, during worship I began to realise the state I was in. Normally I relish the opportunity to worship, and being in my Church is always a pleasure. I had wriggled out of work that morning to go to Church, and rushed over after work the same day for more time with my Church family. That evening however I suddenly realised, I had arrived out of habit, not out of desire. For the first time in a very long time, I was going through the motions, and acting how I normally feel, and I was struggling to desire what God had for me.
So I went upstairs, and started flicking through the Bible, and for the first time finally had one of those very Christian moments, where I found exactly what I needed to read. I found my way to Hebrews where I began to read about “Faith in Action” (Hebrews 11). It spoke of countless examples, where followers of God lived for the promise rather than just for the right now, of when they pushed through the trial and choose to have faith that exceeded their sight. This in itself was challenging and somewhat encouraging, but God wasn't finished with me just yet.
A little later on, after I had shut the Bible I was reading, in defiance, I had stood over me my Best Friend. He asked if I was okay, I gave the standard response, “Yeah, I'm fine”. Then he said something that was apparently enough to reduce me to tears, “Are you sure?”. At which point I finally unloaded all that was weighing on me. The disappointment of my lack of motivation, and the frustration as I couldn't enjoy the things I know I love and most of all the guilt of not wanting what God has for me, when I knew in my head it was amazing and had previously felt so excited for it.
My friend then went on to encourage me of exactly what I had been reading. He told me to live for the promise God has for me, and to follow by faith, not to be hindered by my own shortsightedness. It seems God still finds ways to reach us, even when we have forgotten how to reach out to him. I had been spending myself on the people around me, and on the ministries I felt called to, which I still maintain is right. Something I wasn't doing was giving myself time to recharge and be looked after.
We all know people who do more than we do, and I'm sure many of us have felt that we don't deserve to slow down, to be taken care of by God and by our friends and family, but in fact we do. Jesus didn't sacrifice himself, so that we would have to work at our freedom. He sacrificed himself so that we could live in freedom, and be sustained by God in us and through the people around us whom we can call family in Christ.
My challenge to you would be to dare to believe the good things you may think about everyone else, about yourself. And by that Faith, take a break! I needed a friend to help me find the permission I have always had, to rest in God's Great Love. This is me giving you permission to be still and know that he is God, and that the world can handle you taking some time out, as he is God.