Be Both {John Murphy x Plus Size Reader}
Plot: Requested by anon: You get bullied for your weight when you’re sent down with the 100 to the ground and it’s John Murphy who steps in to defend you.
Characters: John Murphy x Plus Size Female Identifying Reader
Part of my Plus Size Reader x Character series!
Earth was everything you expected and more. It was so vibrant and freeing; so noisy and aromatic in the best way possible. You still couldn’t quite believe that you were all surviving thus far. Sure, you landed the previous day and had only been on Earth for twenty four hours but it was amazing. Falling asleep to the sounds of the wind was something you never expected before.
The camp buzzed around you, people falling into place with jobs easily. You had taken to cooking and preparing meals; it was hard considering there hadn’t been a lot of animals caught for meat but there was plenty of rice, beans and herbs to go around. Clarke Griffin had asked if you wanted to help hunt but you turned it down thinking it best if you stayed away from that sort of thing. You didn’t really know how and to be honest, you didn’t really want to learn.
You’d been gutting one of the fish that were caught when you heard someone mutter from behind you, “No wonder she wanted to cook, she’s eating all our rations.” You froze, completely stiffening up.
The other boy scoffed, “Yeah, by sending her down, the Ark is probably three tonnes lighter than it was.”
Tears burned at your eyes as you listened to them blatantly talk about you right behind your back, comparing you to animals and sea creatures, saying that you would make the Ark lighter by leaving, that you wanted to work with the food so that you could eat it all and they were just being completely horrible, disgusting and immature boys.
You hadn’t realised that you weren’t the only one who heard the two. John Murphy, who had been tipping the fish out the buckets onto your table, heard them too. He heard the vile comments they were making about you and it made his blood run hot. Now, you and Murphy were by no means close, you wouldn’t even say you were friends anymore. You had been friends long ago. Growing up next to each other and being neighbours practically forced the two of you to be friends. When you hit around fourteen, you drifted as Murphy slotted into a different crowd than you did. You’d had a massive crush on Murphy growing up until he had made friends with some idiots and made a comment about your weight when you were fourteen. Murphy had regretted it ever since. It was a comment made to impress two jerks who he learned to hate pretty soon afterwards but you never spoke to him again. You never acknowledged him.
You’d always been relatively heavy and on the plus size side of the scale. It wasn’t the end of the world that you had extra weight but to some people, it was the thing they’d use to taunt you. They’d mock you, call you names and that’s what John Murphy did that one time which ruined your friendship. People would make fun of your weight because it was easy to notice and realise ‘oh hey, she’s fat let’s bully her’. It wasn’t clever or funny and the insults they taunted you with were never very creative but it didn’t mean it didn’t hurt; especially when it’s your best childhood friend pulling the figurative trigger.
You sniffed as you silently let the tears fall. You didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of knowing that they’d upset you so you stayed with your back turned, gutting the fish through blurry eyes. Murphy glanced over at you, rage coursing through his veins as he saw that you were upset and he had had enough.
With a yell of ‘that’s enough!’, he slammed the bucket down, fish spilling onto the grass. You jumped, turning to see Murphy with his fists clenched by his sides. Of all of the people to step in and defend you, you truly had not been expecting it to be John Murphy. He towered over the two boys who just raised their eyebrows and held up their hands, “You sticking up for her, Murphy?” One mocked, “Never knew you were a sucker for whales-”
Murphy didn’t want to listen to that whiny, arrogant little bastard anymore and instead, he punched him on the nose. The boy yelled out, falling to the floor, causing a few people to rush over, “That’s what you deserve!” Murphy hissed, “You’re disgusting saying that about one of the only people here that deserve anything good.” You watched in shock as blood gushed from the boy’s nose. He stared at Murphy with wide, terrified eyes.
“Back off, Murphy!” The other said, holding his hands up.
“Apologise.” Murphy’s voice was a growl but the intimidation it caused was wild.
“We’re sorry!”
“Not to me, to (y/n)!”
The boys looked at you, “We’re sorry! We didn’t mean it!”
“Now, scram!” Murphy sneered as the boys scuttled away. A large crowd had formed around you all and Murphy rolled his eyes, “Nothing to see folks, move along!”
All you could do was stare at Murphy as he forced the bystanders to move away and leave you all alone. He turned to you, sniffing and wiping his face, before looking at you. Neither of you spoke as you maintained eye contact for a few seconds longer than you should have. Quickly, you turned away, too flustered to say anything. Murphy began to gather the fish back into the bucket. Why had Murphy stepped in? Murphy had been saying the same stuff nearly four years ago so... why was he putting his foot down now?
Curiosity got the better of you because you knew that Murphy wouldn’t say anything now so you had to ask, “Why?” You asked him, turning to him, “Why would you stand up for me when you said all that stuff when we were fourteen?”
Murphy knew the question was coming but he was still nervous when you eventually did ask it. He didn’t reply for a minute, he could feel you eyes burning a hole into the side of his head. You pressed him again, “John?”
He scoffed out a laugh, “No one calls me John.”
“I always have.”
“You’re the only one.”
“Why did you defend me when you said all that stuff to me years ago?” You asked again.
Murphy sighed, “You know I didn’t mean that stuff. I still feel bad about it.” Your eyebrows furrowed and he continued to explain, “I didn’t mean it. I was a stupid kid, c’mon, you know how stupid I was back then-” it was true, he was a pretty stupid kid growing up for he always managed to get into trouble, “-I thought that in order to make friends, I had to be cool and edgy and be like them. Turns out I was just being a jerk.”
You appreciated his honesty and that he knew he had done you wrong, “Thank you.”
“Every day since, I’ve felt bad about it. I carry this guilt with me and I know I act tough but I do hate myself for what I did to you. You were my best friend and I ruined it. I’m sorry.”
You looked down at the table, “It hurt, you know. I was fourteen and was going through a lot of changes and weight fluctuations and you knew how insecure I was about my weight; how insecure I’ve always been and yet you bullied me because of it. I remember exactly what you said and how you said it. You weren’t John anymore that day, that’s when you became Murphy.”
Murphy was taken back by the brutality of your words. He puffed out a breath but didn’t speak. You asked once more why he stepped in to stand up for you, “You don’t deserve any of that bullshit. You’re one the kindest people I’ve met. You’re beautiful and they were talking about you like shit.”
You shook your head, “I’m not beautiful. Look at me, I’m hideous. I’m fat.”
“What’s wrong with being fat?” Murphy asked you, “Being skinny, fat, average or whatever doesn’t determine a person’s beauty or a person’s worth. You could be skinny and be the shittiest person ever; you’d be ugly then. You could have red skin and spiders for eyes and have your personality and I’d still consider you beautiful.”
You rolled your eyes, “John-”
“No, I’m being serious, (y/n),” he said, “Who care what you’re body looks like? Those two were complete dicks and I’ll make sure they pay for upsetting you. Don’t give me that bullshit of ‘I can’t be beautiful because I’m fat’. You can be fat and beautiful; you can be plus size and beautiful. You don’t have to be just one, you can be both. Stop letting their opinions matter to you. I treated you like shit before, I’m a dick for doing that and trust me, I know, but please don’t let them affect you anymore. It’s your body, not theirs.”
“Be both beautiful and fat?” You asked him, “I don’t feel beautiful. I never have.”
Murphy sighed, “You remember when we snuck out of that English exam when we were twelve?”
“And we went to find the best view of Earth,” you nodded, “I remember.” It was one of your favourite memories actually.
“You were looking at Earth saying how beautiful it was. Your smile...” Murphy smiled slightly, “That’s the first time I really realised you were beautiful.” Your face softened as he spoke, “That’s when I realised I liked you.”
“Liked me?”
Murphy breathed a laugh, “Seems like a lifetime ago... Yeah... I thought you knew I had this massive crush on you and then I went and ruined everything. Hell, I still think I like you.” Your cheeks burned as he said that, he still liked you? After all this time?
“If it makes you feel any better, I had a massive crush on you too.”
“Actually, that makes me feel worse.” You laughed slightly at his statement and he cracked a smile. You found yourself smiling at him, enjoying a moment together. It was nice. It felt like you were kids again, running around the Ark playing games and looking for meteors. You missed it; you missed him. Yeah, he had hurt you badly but you could see the regret in his eyes, you saw the honesty he had when he was telling you that you were beautiful. You knew that he was sorry and he truly didn’t mean it.
“I forgive you,” you said after a pregnant pause, “for saying that stuff.” Murphy nodded, unsure of what to say, “So please, stop carrying that about with you. You’re different now. You stood up for me and defended me, that says a lot.”
Murphy nodded again, giving you a small smile, “You can be both, remember. You don’t have to just be one. You can be a lot of things. You have to remember that your beauty and self worth isn’t just about what’s on the outside.”
You thanked him before falling into silence. It was a few minutes later when you said, “If you’re not busy, I could use help with these fish...”
Murphy smiled but quickly hid it, “Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I’ll help you.” He grabbed his knife from his pocket and began to help you. You glanced at him as you worked beside each other in silence.
“John?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re beautiful too, you know.”