❛ why don’t you just kill me? ❜ murphy!
he'd thought about it. in fact, his finger had twitched on the trigger before he lowered the gun--- he'd been that close. at the last moment, a thought crossed his mind that he hadn't liked very much at all, and he'd decided to spare her for that reason only.
if i kill her, i'm gonna die out here alone.
they're lost out here. neither one of them has been able to figure out which way they'd come from or which way they're supposed to be going, and the sun has already dropped behind the horizon for the night. he gives it maybe half an hour before it's completely dark. they'd tried, for barely a minute, to work together and find their way out of this, but somewhere in the frustration of the trees all looking the same, his horrible night trying to survive some psychopath, and the fact that jordan had left him for dead earlier, he'd snapped. he's in so much pain that his hand shook when he'd pointed the gun at her, and all he'd been able to see in his rage was her, upside down, taking off while he tried to kick a man with a knife off himself. he was just tired and angry.
this was supposed to be a relaxing fucking weekend.
he also thinks about lying to her, but he decides instead that they're beyond that. after all, he'd almost just blown her brains out onto the forest floor. maybe he shouldn't have the gun, actually. "because if i kill you, then i'm stuck out here by myself again, and i don't really want to die alone. i know clearly it's not your choice to die with me, but i hope it seems better than being killed by me, at least." he doesn't hand over the gun despite his voice of reason, instead tucking it into the back of his jeans. he doesn't want her to have it, either.