uh oh it's time to write otp baby headcANONS UH OH
dave and jade have the first kid between the twO LOVELY COUPLES and she's a girl and they named her becca jane strider because i'm a complete loser and i can't just name fictional babies of my otps random things theRE HAS TO BE STRONG MEANINGS OK IM SORRY
and Becca (black hair + red eyes, a lil tall for a girl like her mAMA) is basically totally trying to be the super cool dave 2.0 and dave buys her a pair of shades when shes like 2 or 3 and jade is just like "omg" but becCA FREAKS THE FUCK OUT ITS LIKE GOD YES IT IS LIKE MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS UP IN HERE ANd dave has to shoosh her because he doesnt want jade to know that the babies hear him swearing like a fucking sailor all the time
and she tries really hard to be this completely cool chick and she cuts her hair rly short cause itS EDGY OR WHATEVER ACCORDING TO SCHOOL ASSHOLES but she has this tendency to get really really excited about shit like jade does so sometimes she just is trying so hard to contain all the squealing she has in her and she just looks like shes going to explode and if daves around he has to try not to laugh because if you laugh at becca while shes trying to contain herself she gets SUPER OFFENDED AND WONT TALK TO YOU FOR LIKE A WEEK
and whenever you put her in the same proximity as a dog she just goes apeshit because DOGS ARE FUCKING AMAZING for like the first 10 years of her life you couldnt let her outside by herself because if she managed to convince a stray dog to come talk to her (and this girl is a fucking dog whisperer ok) she will take it home and beg you to let her keep it
at least she begged until she was like 6, then she started to catch on that if she brought the dog to her parents' attention it almost ALWAYS went away
so she started smuggling them into her room and for the next 6 years dave or jade had to make a sweep through her room once a week or else dogs would start piling up under her bed or smth. she stopped kidnapping dogs when she was 10 but her parents kept checking for an extra 2 years just in case
and probably only a few months to a year later, rose and john had their one baby daughter named casey (blonde + blue eyes aka evERY CASEY HEADCANON EVER) i dONT CARE IF HE HATES CONAIR NOW HIS DAUGHTERS NAME IS CASEY ROXANNE EGBERT GOD DAMMIT
and casey started out like ultra shy until she and becca were old enough to start talking and becca would put her arm on caseys shoulders all like "yo KC you gotta get over this shy thing its not cool at all" and so becca taught casey how to be BRAVE AS FUCK and they get in lots of trouble together
even when they're like 55 they still get in the stupidest fucking predicaments
and casey likes all forms of animals equally even gross ugly ones and she used to find stray dogs and bring them to becca until rose had a stern motherly talking to with her and she never did it again because the thing about casey is that she gets in """""SITUATIONS""""""" when she hangs out with becca A LOT but she only gets in the same shit once, once she learns its bad youll never find her in that same shit again, so as soon as rose told her that taking stray puppies to becca's house and angering auntie jade wasnt a good idea casey never brought another puppy to becca again, much to becca's disappointment
and casey really loves cake but she pretends not to beCAUSE SHE WANTS TO BE JUST LIKE HER DAD WOW WOW WHAT A COOL DUDE SHE LOVES HER DAD HES THE BEST so when cake is presented to her she gets excited for a minute then shes like waiT NOPE I DONT LIKE CAKE and she crosses her arms and puffs out her cheeks and shakes her head a lot
rose has to inform john that the reason she doesnt eat cake is because she thinks john hates cake, so john eats cake a little more often and casey only eats it if her dad does and its stupid and adorable kids are stupid and adorable
also she has a tendancy to find rose's magic wands no matter where the fuck rose hides them, and it's one of the few things where no matter how many times you tell this kiD THAT PLAYING WITH MAGIC UNSUPERVISED IS BAD SHE STILL DOES IT and all kinds of shit happens
one time john was throwing up slugs all day and rose couldnt reverse the curse because she was too busy lauGHING LIKE HOW DO YOU PERFECTLY REPLICATE AN ACCIDENT STRAIGHT OUT OF A HARRY POTTER MOVIE CASEY WOW ANd that wasnt a very good day for john but rose and casey had a fucking time
then a couple years after casey dave and jade have a second babY AND IT'S A BOY HALLELUJAH -dave strider
and so dirk jonathan strider (blonde + green eyes) (he'd be a dirk jr. excEPT THIS IS POST-SBURB SO BRO IS DEAAAAAD) is basically this super excitable kid but he's simultaneously really quiet and shy around his big sister because she's always trying to teach how to be hella cool and hE WANTS TO BE COOL LIKE HIS SIS HE's just a complete doof about it
so he'll end up grinning and yelling about exciting stuff for a few minutes before he realizes he's being way too excited and then he just stops and tries to pretend he wasn't just excited as fuck but it doesn't work out
there comes a point in his life where he stops letting everything his sister says dictate how he behaves and then he's just excited all the time and you know becca doesnt actually mind as much as she thought she would
and dirk tends to be a little behind becca and casey because they aRE a couple years older than him so sometimes it's hard for the lil toddler with legs he cant quite run with yet to keep up when becca and casey go off to get into trouble
dirk has a tendancy to let birds into the house. if it were not his son dave would freak the fuck out but sometimes you just have to make sacrifices for your kid, even if it means cleaning bird shit out of the carpet
dirk is a difficult kid because he is crushed so damn easily so even telling him as gently as possible that "dirk its not ok to let birds into the house" will devastate him and he'll never think of birds the same way again aND DAVE JUST DOESNT HAVE THE HEART TO DO THAT TO THE KID
EVEN IF BIRDS DO FUCKING SUCK
dirk also ends up inheriting extra shortness from his grandma so he ends up shorter than his sister who is already a lil tall for a girl
he even ends up shorter than casey, who because of her REALLY TALL DAD and PRETTY SHORT MOM she ends up leveling out at a perfect height for a girl
also dirk has a crush on casey for a really long time because if you never got a crush on any of your cousins ONCE your childhood was deprived of life lessons
fun fact i had a crush on my cousin who was like 18 when i was like 6-8
when i informed mom that marrying him would basically make my whole life i was introduced to incest and promptly devastated
yoshi's first heartache aawwww
anyways otp baby headcanons i just needed to wriTE THESE DOWN SO BADLY
