[Y/N]: What did you do?
Joker: ...
[Y/N]: ...
Joker: ...
[Y/N]: ...
Joker: ...
[Y/N]: Fair enough, just tell me what you want me to tell the police, they are at the door again.
~1 200 words i wrote on a train ride bc my pride said so. There are some bad words. Enjoy!
It wasn’t that Joker was unaware of mistakes he made. He just wasn’t one to admit to them. C’mon, blowing smoke at her wasn’t that bad. She was already a passive smoker after spending so much time with him anyway.
But the day he blow at her a cloud of smoke with slightly different colour – that day he knew he fucked up.
Joker paled only a little as he watched her wave away a damn pink fog with her usual grimace. No. It was gray. Yeah, gray. This pink was just poor lighting, totally.
“Can you not, you jerk?” huffed [Y/N], giving him a glare. And for the first time in their lives Joker did in fact immediately take his cig out on the nearby rubble.
“So what were you saying?” He asked, starting to walk. The woman followed, a good sign: being able to move and even in a straight line.
“There is this new ramen shop…” Light from her phone illuminated her face as she scrolled through the gallery, looking for the menu photo she took. Joker bent down trying to catch a glimpse of her pupils. They were narrowing right? “It’s 50% off tod- Can you get your face off mine?”
“I thought you liked kisses.” Smoker straightened and rummaged his pocket to check the pack once more. What were the possible side effects Victor mentioned? Blindness? Combustion? Rash? Maybe she was immune?
Well, she was not. At first it started with a simple sway of her walk.
“Long day at work?” Joker played dumb but at this point there was nothing to save him.
[Y/N] looked at the long corridor ahead. “Let’s race.”
“No-” But the corridor already brightened with the sparks covering her body. The next second she was gone, bouncing off the walls like a rubber ball. She was not supposed to be this fast. Last time she pulled a stunt like that was when a damn lighting struck her. She had no reason to be doing that just because of his cig. She had no reason to be doing that at all.
Joker easily leaped after her, her unusual speed nothing compared to his abilities. But when he almost got her, she dodged like a hare – a shining zigzag between rubble and collapsed reinforcement. Her laughter echoed down the corridors at every grasp she avoided. He couldn’t touch her. Not with bare hands. Not when electricity was living on her skin.
After a damn hour of playing tag there was no sign of her tiring out. Joker admitted his defeat and took his cloak off. Shadows swallowed his form and spit it out right in front of her. Catching her in the fabric like a damn pigeon on the main square, he tackled her to the ground with slightly miscalculated impact force. They both rolled across dust and grime while he tried not to break her collarbone nor ribs. But the giggles that shook her body suggested she was fine.
“Bad! No zapping!” Joker pinned her with his knee. He waited for the sparks on her skin to die down before draping her in his cloak and tying sleeves on her back like in the psych ward.
“Aye!” [Y/N] was tossed over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes and carried away. Their way home was wonderfully loud, the idea of ice cream was brought up at least three times and she learned a new off-tune song. What a day to be alive.
But they did make it home and Joker could see this rabid dog in the proper light. Dirty like Nether strays but at least in one piece. A glimpse at the mirror showed him looking no better. A bath it is.
“We having fun tonight?” asked hopefully [Y/N] as he pulled her top over her head. Her bath was already steaming, sizzling with whatever bath bomb she decided to toss. Or actually a few of them. It was more of a glitter soup at this point.
“No.” Joker kept his answers short. His shoulder was killing him and he started to wonder if he didn’t pull a muscle during these sharp turns between rubble earlier.
“You coming with me?” [Y/N] used his help as she stepped in the water.
“No.” Her next question was silenced with a splash of cold water and it was kept that way till she washed all Nether grime off her skin. Meanwhile Joker combed the dust and cobwebs off her hair. Once clean and ready she was pulled out and the sewers were contaminated with enough glitter for them to find it in tap water next week. [Y/N] was wrapped in a clean towel and examined. Her pupils were still too wide to be normal but she seemed rather harmless now. He could probably sit her in front of the TV. But she could burn the remote while changing channels. She could actually burn the whole electrical installation in this house. And that would grant him being permanently kicked out to his hideout when she sober up. Joker analysed which room would be the safest to lock her up in but the idea of her climbing out the window was not the most appealing. He had no means to predict her behaviour as it was already vastly different from Victor’s test pool.
“Will you be a good girl?” He finally asked.
“Will be the best one for you.”
Joker had no doubt about it. He disappeared for a second in the kitchen and returned with a pack of chips. The nuisance was sat on the closed toiled lid and handed a snack. “I want you to sit there and wait for me.”
“That’s a lot to ask for.”
“No, it’s not.”
“A kiss or I’m sneezing 10 kV.”
Well, that was a great bargain. Joker placed a smooch on her cheek to seal the deal and peeled his shirt off. His soul left his body at the grime it gained while they wrestled on the Nether floor but there was no time for that. Not when he was already eaten alive by his audience’s eyes.
“Seeing something you like?” He asked, kicking his pants off.
“Can i touch?”
“No.”
“You are no fun.”
“Sucks to be you.”
At least she shut up when he closed the shower curtain and water started running. Joker blasted the hottest temperature possible on his sore shoulder while she munched the entire pack of family sized chips. “Wanna try?” The leftovers were handed to him as he stepped out and patted himself dry.
“We going to bed,” ordered Joker, taking a handful.
“We having fun tonight?” She padded after him across the corridor.
“No, but you can choose pyjamas for tonight.” [Y/N] instantly stormed his side of the wardrobe, being nice enough to lick her fingers before touching his clothes. “That’s my shirt,” reminded Joker.
“No, it’s not.”
You know what? Screw ti. It was big enough to basically slip off her shoulders but whatever will get her in bed without another race around Nether. Joker crawled under the covers only to be attacked by an octopus and deprived of half his body. He closed his eyes with hope for better tomorrow. She was at home, in one peace, clean and even fed. She had no reason to complain.
***
Yeah, the first thing he heard upon opening his eyes in the morning was an earful long enough to make his ears bleed.
At least she was sober.
If by any chance you did not catch the fluff is this story about:
The thing with requests on this blog is: I never write it exactly the way you guys want to but the idea is there. It also doesn't matter I got this ask in 2023. Enjoy!
[Y/N] fidgeted with the cables pretending to work. It was unusual for the hideout to be empty. Either Licht nor Joker were the most talkative companions, but now she was lacking their silent presence. It was also unusual for her to come here by herself. She might know the way but there was some kind of respect not to step into Joker’s territory. But not that night. Actually… the more she thought about it the more she realized she hoped to see them here. Either of them. But the hideout was empty.
The overhead lights shined brighter than was usual for the dark hideout. She needed the lights to see cables better. That’s how she explained it to herself. The hideout turned into a small island of light in the endless darkness of the Nether. The gentle buzzling the only sound in the depths of the underground. She was semi familiar with Nether and yet that time it felt like the bottom of the ocean. With her alone amongst the water.
The woman lifted her eyes at the door at some small creak. But it was just the usual shifts of old grounds. The door was closed and she couldn’t deny a pang of disappointment. She checked the time. While the underground was dark all the time, the surface should start to wake up around that time. With a heavy sigh she got up and reached for the door.
He appeared out of nowhere. Laws of physics did not apply to him, not in his domain of the underground. Joker leaned against the wall, looming over her. The exit was blocked. His purple eye observed with sharp gleam from the shadow of his hat. [Y/N] flinched, taking a step away.
“Shi-eeeeesh… why are you a jerk?” gasped a woman, steading herself. Her body tensed, as his mere presence was enough to keep her on her toes.
Joker didn’t bother to answer straight away. He seemed to analyze her as if attempting to read her soul. But then his expression returned to his usual mockery. As if the guarded suspicion had no place. Not taking his eye off her he killed at least half the lights, his shoulders easing in the familiar shadow.
“It’s my hideout, why are you surprised to see me here?” he scoffed. And before she could answer added, nodding at her outfit. “Looking all nice for me?”
[Y/N] glanced at her attire. It was true. Her clothes differed from her usual work wear or the comfy clothes she wasn’t bothered to stain in the underground. For once she had the will and energy to put some effort into her look. But it was not for him.
“Believe it or not but I do have, in fact, a social life.” [Y/N] leaned against the wall, matching him.
“A date?” Joker’s eye widened with a gleam of curiosity. His lips shifted in a grin.
“Girls’ night” [Y/N] cut him short before he could continue his teasing.
“Here?” Joker took a glance around as if looking for the other girls.
“It’s already early morning…” explained the woman with a small shrug of her shoulders.
“It wasn’t when you got here.” Despite his amused smile, his voice was cold. [Y/N] froze, a second too late to mask the widening of her eyes. A second too late to keep the nonchalant act.
“It’s rude not to even say hi to visitors.” The woman shifted her weight, giving him a careful look. How long was he truly here? Why didn’t he show up earlier? Why did he now?
“So is trespassing. Who put a stick up your ass hm?” Joker tilted his head. “Couldn’t be me I believe.”
“Can’t I have a bad day without your interference?”
“And here I thought it was my special privilege…” Joker dramatically placed a hand on his chest somewhere around the heart he was sure he was lacking. His carefree mask dropped, showing not so casual expression. “We can play this game as long as you wish, princess but I believe you have places to be.” Joker nodded at the door.
Her jaws tightened barely noticeably. “What do you want?”
Joker took a step closer, forcing her to back away. “The only thing I want in life.” It was an easy answer. “The truth.”
She didn’t have to respond, to satisfy his curiosity. Joker was not the type to pry an answer out in such a trivial matter. But it was also an opportunity for her. To solve her own questions. She leaned forward, closing the distance as if they were discussing great secrets. “Where does the idea of kissing strangers at bars come from?”
Well, that seemed to interest the Smoker as his lips twitched with scoff. “Do I look like a man hooking up at the bars?”
“You are a man nonetheless.” [Y/N] shrugged. While Joker didn’t seem to seek anything but a few drinks while out, she still hoped for some wisdom. He didn't seem to appreciate the comment though.
“Don’t compare me.” His voice was low. He made sure she registered the warning before giving a thoughtful sigh. “Did the little miss get her fun spoiled?”
“The reek of cheap beer got me gagging.” [Y/N] grimaced at the memory. The longer she was thinking about it, the worse her stomach felt. Nothing happened back then but the sudden proximity with a wasted dude was not welcomed.
“And what would make the little miss happy again?” Joker chuckled a dry laughter. “An apology on his knees? A corpse?”
Despite his carefree tone, [Y/N] hesitated. She could ask for whatever she wanted. It was a lawless world. And there were no consequences. And yet she snatched her jacket with a heavy sigh. “There is nothing to help the little miss.” She was about to pass him by on the way to the door. But a subtle shift of his shoulders stopped her in her tracks. He didn’t even block her. There was more than enough space to walk by. And yet she held her breath.
“I am the owner of my time…” Joker searched his pocket before fetching his cigarettes. He didn’t even bother looking at her. “And I might occasionally find a moment for a night out. Unseen. Unheard.” The burning eye shifted to her. “Taking care of the unwanted.” Done with the conversation, Smoker lit his cigarette on his way deeper into the hideout.
[Y/N] stopped, her hand on the cold doorknob. She slowly turned towards him. He seemed occupied. Searching the shelves filled with mostly illegal stuff. And yet she dared to ask.
What if? What if this edgy teenager running from the shadows found his light in a slightly different place? Not in the usual suburban neighbourhood. What if he found it in the lawless Asakusa?
A bunch of HC, one character is a spolier from Beni's past but i changed the plot.
~850 words.
Enjoy!
Joker was found by hibachi when searching for food. Joker’s self preservation instinct failed him that day and he got his ass kicked by the old Hikeshi. But apparently grandpa found something in him worth keeping.
The scruffed teenager was given to Konro who was not as surprised as a normal person should be. He was not the first child given shelter in the guard house. Konro sent him to the bathhouse twice and checked for lice before Joker was allowed inside.
He even got his own guide around the guard house. A kid 6 years younger with bratty mismatched eyes. They loved each other since day one /jk.
Their bond was specific. Not a loving family but some kind of brothers in arms.
Through the years they basically wiped the floors with each other but also won many street fights together.
Benimaru was more prone to get dragged into the fight. But the ex-shadow was more than happy to let some steam out when given a chance.
Both of them later got earful from Konro. Sometimes extra hysterical strength training from Hibachi.
Joker’s fighting skills and pain endurance was more than obvious but Hibachi wasn’t stupid. He knew Joker was different the day he dragged him from the street.
But it still didn’t save Joker from getting his ass handed to him a few times. Shadow or not Hibachi’s kicks were deadly even for him.
The thing Joker never got used to after years living there was taking care of kids.
At some point they stopped giving him the twin’s duty as it always ended with two feral foxes and one-eyed bandit spreading havoc.
***
Konro rubbed his sore shoulder on his way to the kitchen. Hibachi allowed to open this fine sake they got recently and after a day like that the young Hikeshi was looking forward to it. He opened the old door surprisingly too easily. He moved the freshly oiled hinges a few times. Has somebody finally taken care of it?
And then his eyes got used to the darkness of the room. Just enough to notice the silhouette of a wild tanuki with mismatched red eyes shining in the darkness. And the slender figure next to it with a single purple gaze blazing in the night. Both of them holding onto the very sake Konro was about to fetch.
For a moment stretching for eternity none of them reacted. At least till Konro reached for the nearby broom.
***
Konro knew them from miles away. Dressed like Asakusa citizens but with dead eyes. Their movements way too similar as if practiced endlessly. Their attention towards the guard house was hard to miss.
Maybe if Hibachi was there it would get louder. But not with Konro. He was a polite host. He welcomed the guests, happy to answer their needs. Guardhouse was for every citizen in need of help.
His sharp eyes quickly noticed the teenager engulfed in the shadow of the side alley. Far from the gaze of the strangers. Even more pale than usual. With the gaze of a wild animal caught in a trap. Ready to bite its own paw off if necessary.
“Looking for the brat?” asked Hikeshi, nodding at the spot Joker and Benimaru were observing the whole situation. “I will pay you to take both of these nightmares.”
Later that day there was freshly dug dirt in granny’s garden. It was this new fertilizer, hella expensive one. Nobody was allowed to touch it.
Joker was more than likely to disappear after that day. But Hibachi had him in chokehold quickly enough.
Asakusa provided its hospitality and became a home for him. In return he could protect it from people invisible from the surface.
After that the young dark hero was the reason why there are no dark guys in this lawless city.
***
The youngster had his role as a Hikeshi on a daily basis but his name never echoed around the empire as Benimaru’s did. And Joker liked it this way, he didn’t need recognition.
And yet there was a small fanclub just for him.
Citizens also loved to gamble and drink with him if they caught him in the city in the evenings.
It wasn’t uncommon for Joker to disappear for the nights, sometimes for days. Sometimes he returned intact, other times bruised and bloody. He was always welcome with sceptical gazes and rough love then patching him in one piece.
There was an idea about Joker taking over Hibachi’s role. But it lived shortly. Joker was a lone wolf. Having the time of his life in the Asakusa but never fully being one of them.
Smoker was always too interested in the empire. Benimaru never fully understood his fixation. True, neither of them trusted the church but Beni’s interest didn’t reach over the borders of Asakusa. Only once did he help his brother break into the empire via the front door. No biggie.
***
Random HC:
Nobody roasts Joker as much as the twins.
Konro managed to get his ass on tape once but the photo never reached the calendar.
@ravenettegoth you called to the void and the void answered.
Joker x paramedic!reader
~1 200 words of fluff
Enjoy!
Her life was a mess as it was. Career as a paramedic destroyed her sleep schedule to the point of no return and the additional side job from Victor did not help at all. In moments like these one develops surprising ability to sleep at the most uncomfortable places. So, when [Y/N] decided to move with the wires she was working on to the couch it was a lost cause.
[Y/N] woke up maybe 15 minutes later, maybe an hour. The only thing that was certain was that she hadn't slept longer than a day, as she was still sleepy. Wrapped in the omnipresent smell of cigarettes, she blinked her eyes lazily, recognizing the familiar interior of Light's hideout. The light she used to work was already off, only the side lamp gave off just enough light to look around the room.
[E/C] landed on her work. The colorful cables were safely placed on a nearby table. She couldn't remember the time when she was conscious enough to put them away herself. The small screwdriver digging into her thigh suggested that she had fallen asleep with her work in her hands. She reached down to pull the tool from between the cushions, and the material resting on her shoulders slid down, exposing her to the unpleasant chill of the underground. Her body, torn from the pleasant warmth of her nap, shivered as she reached for the material. The black coat was nothing more than a blur of darkness in the dim light, but the smell of cigarettes emanating from it aroused no suspicion as to who it belonged to.
A gentle and rhythmic movement at her side announced her companion's presence. [Y/N] tensed, her breath frozen, as she nestled between the back of the couch and the man's side. Blood roared in her ears as she frantically tried to find a way out of this situation. But so far, not a single sarcastic comment was dropped.
She turned her head cautiously, glancing at the man. To her surprise, he seemed unaware of her awakening. Joker was leaning against the faded couch, his arms crossed over his chest, rising slowly in rhythm of his calm breaths. Most of his face was hidden by a red scarf as he rested his chin on his chest. Only a closed eye was visible between the loose strands of hair. Joker's pale skin stood out despite the darkness of the room, but the shadow under his eye seemed even deeper than usual. Was it just the poor lighting?
Many of the people who inhabited the Nether were not ambitious individuals. Hidden in the darkness from the church's gaze, they lived their own mediocre lives. However, the longer she spent in the hideout, immersed in her work on the machine, the more she was convinced that the man before her was not one of those people. He seemed to constantly work on matters anything but trivial. Her gaze fell on the journal forgotten on his knee. The tattered pages hid secrets beyond her understanding. This state of matter suited her. Her hands were stained, but they had never delved into matters so deep and so soaked in politic. Joker had no such problems. His mysterious motivations pushed him much further than hers did.
She returned her gaze to his face, suddenly strangely unfamiliar. Joker always kept his guard up. Even when he was carelessly joking and fooling around, or was busy with something. It could be seen in his lightning-fast reaction to any change in his surroundings, and in the way that no matter how much time they spent together, or how close he let [Y/N] get to him, his figure always remained shrouded in mystery, always keeping her at a distance. But this time the sharp features, smoothed by calm for the first time, seemed almost alien, unreal.
Her hand slipped out from under the coat and reached for him, freezing mere millimeters from the pale skin. Unwanted touch was a plea for an attack from Joker. She had no doubt the man would be capable of a violent blow despite his calm demeanor. And one well-placed elbow would undoubtedly be able to dislocate her jaw.
The problem was that [Y/N] was known for her stupid decisions. She held her breath as her fingertips gently brushed his skin. The lack of any reaction gave her courage and she carefully brushed her palm against his cheek. Fascinated, she watched this unusual sight until a purple eye flashed in the darkness.
“Boo!” His voice was barely audible, but when his warm breath grazed her hand, she had no doubts. [Y/N] nearly jumped out of her skin as if electrocuted, not caring about the table or the cloak covering her. She fell to the floor, accompanied by the Joker's evil chuckle.
*
Joker's senses were heightened to their limits, and after years in the underground, his eyesight was the last one he relied on. The change in her breathing alone was enough to put him in a state of absolute alertness. Despite that, he didn't even move, his calm breathing masking his vigilance.
He pretended to sleep, hoping that would be enough for her to leave him alone. He didn't have the strength to deal with her today. All he really wanted to do was collapse onto the couch in his own hideout and sleep, but someone had already occupied it when he got here.
Joker's alert ears listened as the woman woke up and looked around. He was able to detect the slightest movement of her body. Including the sudden paralysis and slow turn towards him. He expected an immediate escape, sudden creation of distance, anything. But nothing happened. Despite the sudden increase in his curiosity about her behavior, his body gave no sign of it. He sat still, curious to see what would happen next.
Well... The touch of [Y/N]'s hand on his cheek was definitely not the most likely idea. His mind was screaming in alarm, demanding a reaction. An attack, or rather a defense. Her touch burned with a fire that his generation had not protected against. It was strange, completely unnatural.
But his body did not react. It continued to follow the gentle rhythm of his breathing, camouflaging the battle boiling in his mind. It allowed the warmth of her touch to spread deep into his bones, broken many many times.
He opened an eye slowly, meeting her gaze. Despite the lack of light, he had no trouble seeing her eyes focused on him as they shined in the darkness.
“Boo…” he muttered quietly. The word didn’t contain even half of his usual malice. It was purely automatic. A miserable way to act like himself in this unusual situation.
The effect was immediate. Faster than he would have expected her to, she landed on the floor, her cheeks glowing red in the darkness of the room. A quiet chuckle echoed in his chest.
