#jokerkindkiller

[knightofnxthing]

@jokerkindkiller

DEAR GAMZEE;      HAPPY QUAD DAY.      I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU FROM YOUR STUPIDLY SMOOTH, ELEGANT      HORNS TO YOUR FREEZING FUCKING FRONDS THAT YOU STICK UP      AGAINST ME WHEN WE CUDDLE.      I HAVEN’T BEEN SHOWING IT VERY WELL LATELY, AND I’M SORRY.      I’M NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO TELL YOU. I DON’T      WANT YOU EVER THINKING IT’S SOMETHING YOU DID, NOT EVER. SO      I’LL GET OVER IT AND TELL YOU SOMEDAY. BUT FOR NOW, LETS      JUST ENJOY OUR DAY. I’M STILL BOUNCING TO SEE YOU IN THAT      FUCKING SUIT, MAKARA. I’M SO EXCITED I MIGHT DOUBLE DIE.      RED FOR YOU, REDDER THAN BLOOD, REDDER THAN THE WHOLE      DAMN WORLD.               - KARKAT <3 

On the table to the left, there sits a various assortment of items:       - One bouquet of white roses, topped off with a single red rose and a single        purple one.      - A few scattered pictures of the two, complete with dates and side notes        about how “absolutely fucking adorable we are, look at this illegal hoofbeast       shit.” scribbled on the backs.      - A rather large, half sanded and half underwater terrarium, containing        a single hermit crab. Attached to his hive is a list of instructions to keep        him alive, as well as yet another note scribbled in Karkat-esque caps. 

           HELLO, MY NAME IS HERCULES.             I AM A SMALL, TINY ASSHOLE OF A HERMIT CRAB THAT             SOMEHOW BROKE INTO KARKAT’S HIVE AND ATE HIS GRUBSAUCE             OFF THE COUNTER. I AM PROBABLY IN POSSESSION OF MULTIPLE             DEMONIC POWERS.             I AM ACTUALLY VERY SWEET AND WEIRDLY FUCKING CUDDLY,           AND I AM HERE TO REMIND YOU THAT KARKAT LOVES YOU AND            EVEN IF HE CAN’T BE RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, HE’S ALWAYS YOURS.            (PLEASE DO NOT LET BEAN FEAST ON MY DELICIOUS PINCERS.)

[knightofnxthing]

   It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here now.     Shhhhh.     He’ll accompany it with purrs of reassurance     and head scratches, tracing gently up and down     one horn for good measure. 

[knightofnxthing]

jokerkindkiller liked your post.

   ... GOOD MORNING. 

[knightofnxthing]

jokerkindkiller liked your post:    On Horn Bed Scratching; 

  HORN SCRATCHING?? I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE TALKING    ABOUT. HAHA. 

[knightofnxthing]

🎊

START THE YEAR OFF WITH A *BANG!* || Accepting ! 

You and Gamzee are not ones for grand, over the top parties. 

Instead, this New Years Eve, you have found yourselves melted together under the warm, cuddly protection of three blankets and a human cocoon, sharing a bowl of Alternian grub snacks (A very, very rare delicacy in this shitty human world) and watching the Times Square Light Orb descend to its rightful place, which is slightly lower on the same fucking building it’s always on. 

Gamzee is going on and on about the light orb - you have caught the gist of it a while ago, and the gist of it is “hey karkat I’m a fucking adorable moron who really likes colours glowing in the sky, and the giant overhyped beachball shimmying down the pole is of great interest to me, and the only fathomable thing on this earth more fascinating than this is the luscious curve of your talkskin.” 

... Okay, maybe you took a few creative liberties at the end. But the point still stands! Your adorable moron has been rambling for what is far too long about the fucking rainbow orb, and damn fucking straight you’re about to derail that train of thought right into cuddle his face off town, population 2. 

You decide right then and there that you need to start watching more badass movies to fix your inner monologue, and then you don’t think anything at all because the stupid humans are screaming numbers in a slowly descending order, hey there goes the ball but here goes KARKAT MOTHERFUCKING VANTAS, WELCOME TO ROMCOM VILLE AND HERE’S THE FUCKING WELCOME BASKET - 

You kiss him so hard you tangle up in the sheets and roll as one, and this is an unexpected outcome but nowhere undesired - you laugh, kiss him again now that he’s pinned beneath you, and make a resolution to never start another year any other way.

[theseahorseprince]

A bunch of rings. You get this prince fish a few rings, all tossed together. They’re gold and nice, at least. Along with that, you toss a scarf in. He likes those, at least, he used to. A tag is stuck to it. “ DoN’t Be ChOkInG yOuRsElF,bRo." 

You’re honestly not sure if this is a joke or not. The tag certainly makes you think it is. That or he’s blackflirting with you. Either way you squint at the card a bit more as if it has more to say than it actually does before looking the unexpected presents over. The rings are nice and seem to fit your fingers fairly well. The scarf is also fairly good quality and a nice style...maybe you’ll wear it a few times.

[knightofnxthing]

  ... Karkat is officially fucking freezing. He’s freezing, his feet have lost    any semblance of feeling, and he’s given the fuck up. Let Gamzee stay    out. Let him freeze. What does he care?! This is something a moirail    worries about, this isn’t his job, this isn’t his problem. He’s just unlocked the    door back when he pauses, freezes in his spot and feels another type of chill in his spine. 

   There’s someone in the hive. And judging by the trail of.. he doesn’t want to    know, it sure as hell isn’t Dave. Only one thing to do now - creep up the stairs,     enter the bathroom, and stare in dead silence at the fucking moron marinating     in ... a fucking lavender bath bomb.