Jokes of the Week - January 8-14, 2017
During his press conference, Donald Trump brought out a table covered in manila folders that he claimed contained his “business plan,” but turned out to be full of blank paper. So he was telling the truth. A pet tortoise in San Antonio started a house fire when it knocked over its heating lamp. Officials are calling it an accident, but I’m not so sure. [graphic: tortoise writing “Please let me die” in ashes] A man in England choked to death while trying to win a bet that he couldn’t eat four pickled eggs in under a minute. It’s going to really hurt when his family has to pay up. A single mother in Arkansas built a house for her family using nothing but YouTube tutorials. Meanwhile, I’ve watched thousands of hours of YouTube, and all I learned is who was really behind 9/11. A man who was vandalizing cars in Pittsburgh was identified because of his distinctive man bun. He faces three months in prison for vandalism, and ten years for the bun.