Letter to a Loved One
by J. Geronimo
Okay, so it wasn’t a letter, it was most definitely an unsolicited comment on a relatives Facebook status. But now that we’re passed how washed I am, I invite you to try on this mental model for just a moment. Remember, this is not to be taken literally. The function of a mental model is not to change the facts. Instead, a mental model is designed to change the way you see the facts, which can make a world of a difference should you choose to use it.
If you find that it fits you well, it is yours wear like shining armor should you ever find yourself battling depression—whether it’s your depression or that of a loved one.
. . .
Dear Loved One,
I try to think of it like this, there are different levels of mind state that we exist in throughout out the days, months, years, etc. Think of the [mind] states like radio stations. When you're in a high state, the creativity flows, you want nothing but the best for those around you, generosity is like your first language, you see all the opportunity that other people are blind to, you're more proactive, etc. In this state, you hear all your favorite songs. The songs that sing life into you, make you feel love and power and all of those positive emotions. When you're in the lowest of states, like depression, you're tuned into a different frequency. People might try to speak logic and love into you, but you can't receive that because they're coming from a higher frequency. Sometimes what they say will sound like judgement and criticism because even though you can literally hear their words, emotionally you aren't receptive to them. It's like being tuned into the country station trying to hear the latest Trap record being played on HOT 97. The quality of a depressed persons thoughts are LOW because while they're TUNED into that LOW state, they can only produce pessimism, isolation, regret, shame, guilt, hopelessness, etc. The things that they say and think will form LOW beliefs. And because they BELIEVE low things, they will unconsciously LOOK FOR (AND FIND) reasons to keep believing these self-destructive things. It sucks because you can give them sure-fire ways to improve their physiology, which will improve their emotion, which will improve their thinking, which will solidify more empowering and liberating beliefs, which will reinforce their emotions again, but they may not receive it at first. They may not receive it for a long time. And that'll frustrate you, you'll take it personal sometimes, and it can also discourage you--especially if you love this person--but you have to remember you're dealing with a person who is trapped in their own emotional bubble and they simply can't pick up the positive emotion signals that life and loved ones are trying to send them. All you can do is be present and treat them, not like a depressed person, but like their best self. Like the version of them that you love the most. You'll want to guard your own energy and not be pulled down by them. Best way not to be affected by someone else's energy is to forgive. Forgive constantly. To a level that seems irrational. The low-quality thoughts they think and behaviors they execute at times are not true to the person, those behaviors are simply qualities of the STATE that's consuming them. Look past their behaviors at who they are at their core.
Hope some of that helps, fam. Love you
