(I apologize that this isn't BTS related, but this is just something I want to get off my chest right now. Kim Jong-Hyun was my first ever inspiration in the world of Kpop. My condolences to the family and friends affected by this. May he rest in peace.)
I woke up at 6:40 am (Central Time). I grabbed my phone and went onto social media and around 7am, I came upon the words I never expected to see in a long time.
"Stay strong Shawols. #RIPJonghyun"
Lately, I can't seem to accept death. And for some reason today, I thought it was a joke. I doubted the news and decided to look it up. I simply googled SHINee and right away, articles popped up on my screen.
"Jonghyun of Kpop's SHINee dead at 27"
I still couldn't believe it. But my heart sank and tears quickly ran down my face. It is currently 8:58 am, about 2 hours since I found out, and my mind still doesn't want to accept it. It's just so hard to believe. I can't come up with the right words to describe how I feel. I'm just sitting in class with an ache in my chest that I haven't felt in a long time, trying so hard to hold back tears, but failing every once in a while. And I'll tell you just why I feel heavily affected by this right now.
I found SHINee at the beginning of 2014. I was going through times of depression and at the time, I didn't really know what that meant. I accidentally tapped on the MV for the song 'Everybody' on YouTube and instantly fell in love with the sound of it. That was my introduction to K-pop which soon became such a big part of my life.
SHINee cheered me up with their upbeat music and colorful MVs. The member to catch my attention from the start was Kim Jong-Hyun. I still remember what it was that caught my attention. His smile and bright eyes, as well as his beautiful voice. I was in love with SHINee and more importantly Jong-Hyun. I remember putting up pictures of him on my wall and just going crazy over him.
I changed completely at that time. I was your average emo middle schooler and quickly changed to I guess a girly girl. I would always sing and dance to SHINee whenever I had the chance to. It was all I listened to while in my room. JongHyun's high notes were always my favorite and I always tried to imitate them.
So him committing suicide from going through some hard times really hurts because he was able to get me away from those hard times but nothing saved him.
It sounds dumb to cry over an artist, especially one who speaks a completely different language with a different culture, living miles upon miles away from where you do. But music really is a universal language and sometimes, we find comfort in a person who we may forever be a stranger to.
I hope you can finally rest in peace. I hope your pain is finally gone and may you be successful in your next life. Shawols will always remember your hard work in this life and will make sure to never forget who you were to us. I'm sorry no one was there for you just how you and the rest of SHINee were for some of us.
Good Luck. We will love you always. I will love you always.
