confessions • kji (pt.2)
pairing: jongin x f!reader, fwb2l. sequel to ‘d appointment’.
genre: fluff & angst
synopsis: jealousy leads to a life changing confession (happy ending!!)
warnings: angst, swearing, jealousy
a/n: lol nobody asked for this but i really wanted to write this after yesterday! so enjoy 😋
“jongin, i really gotta go,” you giggle, kissing him again. he holds onto your waist tighter, grumbling about how he doesn’t want you to go. “really, nini, i have to leave.” you say, pulling out of his grasp and finding your clothes around his room.
you’ve seen a lot more of him recently, and your relationship has changed. he started asking you over to hang out, taking you out for food, running errands with you. you didn’t know what to think of your relationship anymore, and could barely tell your friends because none of them liked to hear about jongin anyway. he had a bit of a reputation for being a womanizer and a player, but you didn’t get that with him. as far as you knew, you were the only person who’s been in his bed for the last two months.
you really dont know what to call your relationship—you never talk about it with him. you refer to him as a friend when people ask about him, but nothing more. but you know that youre deeper than friends, you pretend not to see it in his eyes when you’re lying on his chest at night, pretend not to feel it in your stomach when he leans over his middle console and kisses you when he picks you up from your house. you pretend none of those feelings exist, so you can keep your peace.
“where do you have to go anyway?” he asks as you hook your bra back on.
“uh, just meeting a friend,” you say, not ready to admit the truth that the friend is a man and he’s not really a friend. your friend sana set you up with a guy she knows, doyoung, and you’ve been hanging out for awhile. of course, in between you and jongins time together.
jongin frowns at you and your hesitation. “who?” he presses as you pull on your shirt. you let out a breath and fix your hair, stalling as you avoid his question.
“chaewon,” you lie, not really sure why. you’re not dating, it shouldn’t be a problem. but with the way you’ve been hanging out recently, it feels like it could cause a rift—maybe you’re imagining it, though, and he doesn’t actually care. maybe your feelings are one sided.
“what are you guys gonna do?” he asks. you shrug and grab your phone off of his nightstand, a text from doyoung on the screen.
doyoung: can’t wait to see you!
you bite back a smile and jongin notices, his chest bubbling with an emotion he can’t quite place. anger? no, not quite. envy? jealously, maybe? can’t be—you’re not his. but it sure does feel like it sometimes.
you tap back a response, your acrylics accentuating your every keyboard stroke.
y/n: see you soon :)
“alright, i’ll see you later?” you say, leaning over to kiss him. it’s stiff, and awkward, but neither of you say anything. he doesn’t offer to walk you out like he always does, and you pretend it doesn’t bother you.
jongin and you don’t talk for three days, and in those three days, you occupy yourself with doyoung when you’re not at work or with your friends. doyoung is kind, he’s sweet and makes you laugh. he listens. he’s perfectly safe—your friends like him, and they’re all going to meet him tonight at a get together.
you sigh as you look at your phone, your message going unanswered. you invited jongin too, just to be nice since a few of his friends are going to be there. you haven’t spent anytime around each others friends, though you know a couple because that’s how you met each other.
sana nudges you. “doyoung is here,” you flip your phone over as her eyes gaze down for a split second. you look up and see him walk through the door, two of his friends behind him. you stand up from your spot on the couch and walk over to him, adjusting your skirt. doyoungs eyes scan the room and when they land on you, he gives you the smile that you’ve grown fond of.
“hey!” you say, giving him a hug. you press a quick kiss on his cheek and pull back, his hand sliding to the small of your back.
“hey! i hope you don’t mind thst i brought some friends—this is baejin and that’s sungwoon,” he says, introducing you to his friends. you smile and shake their hands. “is sana here?” he asks, leaning close to you. you nod, and get the overwhelming feeling that he’s about to kiss you, so you quickly grab his arm and lead him over to your group of friends.
sana jumps up when she sees him and gives him a hug, your three friends, yujin, chaewon, and bona following suit.
the five of you settle on the couch, doyoung on the end and you sandwiched between him and sana. he keeps an arm wrapped around your waist the entire time, barely moving it even when you shift. you don’t mind his touch or the weight of his arm—it feels nice.
you let yourself sneak a glance at your phone, hoping to see if he responded—a ‘no’ would even be fine—but there’s nothing new. you set your phone face down in your lap, and catch sanas eye when you look back up. you furrow your brow at her and she shakes her head. you ignore her and lean back against doyoung, his arm moving to wrap around your shoulder. you catch his dangling hand in yours, and interlock your fingers.
“you two are so cute, it’s making me sick,” yujin says. you and doyoung only giggle, and when you glance at sana, she’s side eyeing you behind her red solo cup.
sanas eyes drift around the room, but you ignore her until she steps on your foot, not enough to hurt but enough to get your attention. you glance at her again, and she shoots her eyes to the door, and dread immediately fills your stomach.
jongin walks through the door, many people in the party immediately greeting him. you check your phone again and see that he still never responded, which annoys you. if you had a heads up that he was showing up, you would have never sat here cuddled up with doyoung.
you try to ignore the greetings to jongin, but they’re obnoxious and louder than the music playing. “ugh, sehun is so irritating,” chaewon grumbles, but she keeps her eyes on the tall boy talking to jongin. they have some weird tension going on.
“y/n, im gonna go find baejin really quick, do you want to come?” doyoung asks. you shake your head and tell him that you’ll be here, and he leaves but not before pressing a kiss to your cheek.
you smile, but it falters when sana scoffs. “what?” you ask, annoyed with how she’s been treating you tonight.
“don’t lead him on, please. i know you invited jongin, and maybe you want two boyfriends, but doyoung is a good guy. leave him out of it,” she says, her voice serious.
you drop your mouth open to reply, but can’t find the words. “your boyfriends coming over,” she mutter, taking another swig of her drink. you glance over to see jongin walking towards you.
“he’s not my boyfriend,” you manage, standing up to greet him. you reach in for a hug, and he reciprocates, his hands too low on your back for it to be friendly. “i didn’t know you were coming.” you say, pulling away from him.
jongin keeps his hands on you, ignoring the gawking from your friends. “i said i might,” he shrugs and you roll your eyes. “why, you wanted more time to hide your little boyfriend?” he asks. with that, you scoff and pull away from him, already done with the entire night.
“i don’t have a boyfriend, so both of you can stop,” you say to jongin and sana, crossing your arms over your chest. “if you came here to bother me, you can just leave.” you say, staring up at him.
“i came to keep you company, but i see you already have some,” he says, mirroring your stance. you get ready to reply, but see doyoung coming up behind the two of you with baejin in tow, and get a wave of guilt, dread, and anxiety at the prospect of the two of them interacting. this can’t be my life, you think.
doyoung approaches you, a smile on his face until he sees your stance, and then sweeps his eyes over to jongin. doyoungs face falls at the obvious tension, and jongin sizes him up. “are you alright?” he asks you, a hand on your arm. you nod and he looks over at jongin and back at you. “do you two know each other?” he asks.
know is putting it lightly.
before you can respond, jongin interjects. “i’m jongin,” he holds his hand out to shake, and it takes everything in you to not push his hand away.
doyoung shakes his hand, his face not giving way to how he really feels. “we’re friends,” you offer once they drop hands. friends is putting it lightly, too lightly that it’s almost untrue.
jongin scoffs at that. “if that’s what you want to call it, sure we are,” you glare at him and doyoung shifts awkwardly beside you, unsure of what to say. “surely she’s mentioned me. because she’s never mentioned you.” he adds, making you blood boil.
“jongin, stop!” you say, your eyes widening. you look back over at doyoung who nods his head once, twice. “doyoung, just ignore him, please?” you say, reaching out to grab his hand, but he pulls away. you feel helpless as he moves past you to talk to sana, and you hear him tell her that he’s gonna head out. you feel like shit as you try to get him to talk to you, but again he dodges you.
“y/n, i dont want to be apart of this. maybe when you figure… whatever this is out, you can call me. but i don’t want any of this,” he waves vaguely between you and jongin, and all you can do is stand there pathetically as he walks away.
“yeah, what he said,” jongin says, shaking his head, and all you see is red. how dare he try to blow you off, when he is the cause of this entire mess. if he just kept his mouth shut, doyoung would still be here and you’d be enjoying your night.
you stomp after jongin as he walks off, grabbing ahold of his shirt, pulling him towards the direction of the kitchen. “quit it,” he says, pulling out of your grasp.
“you don’t get to leave! what the hell is your problem?” you ask, putting your hands on your hips. a few people in the kitchen glance at you and jongin, and he sighs and pulls you out to the backyard where it’s empty. “what is wrong with you?”
“i didnt do anything,” he says and you bark out a laugh.
“you don’t talk to me for days for god knows why, you don’t respond to my text, and the. you basically show up unannounced? and then you ruin a good thing for me? what is wrong with you?” you could cry from frustration, but you don’t. you manage to keep the tears at bay as you stare at the man across from you.
jongin doesn’t say anything, just leans against the stair railing with his arms crossed over his chest, and looks away from you. you blink at him, waiting for him to say something but he doesn’t. “well?” you say, scoffing.
he shakes his head. “you just don’t get it,” he mumbles.
“what?”
“you really don’t see it, y/n? it’s not obvious?” he asks, finally looking you in the eye. you shrink under his gaze, your eyes darting around the backyard.
“what are you talking about, jongin?” you ask, confusion evident in your voice. he runs a hand through his hair frustratedly and drops his hands at his sides. you cross your arms over your abdomen and stare at him, waiting for him to just admit whatever he’s holding back.
“you don’t feel a change between us? really?” he asks, and for a second the air leaves your lungs. he can’t be asking you this, because then what you’ve been imagining is actually true, therefore real. and now you have to confront it.
“i guess,” you say vaguely, your voice small. he runs his hands through his hair like he always does when he’s stressed or anxious—one thing you picked up on after seeing him more often. “what are you trying to say, jongin?” you sigh, just wanting to hear the words coming from his mouth. you need that confession, or else you think you’ll go crazy if you lose two men you like on the same night.
“i’m trying to say that i can’t stop thinking about you, that i think about you every second you’re not with me. that when i have to go somewhere, i call you because i’d rather go—i don’t fucking know, to the store—with you, over anybody else. and i came here tonight, even though i know your friends don’t fucking like me, because i wanted to see you. and i know you’re upset that i made your little boyfriend leave, but i don’t really care, okay? i can’t stand to see you with somebody else, not when you kiss me the way you do, or say my name,” he rambles, wiping his mouth before starting up again. you can only stare at him, stunned. you’ve gotten more than you were really asking for, and he’s not even done. “and i dont only mean when we have sex, okay? i know that’s how we started, but if you couldn’t tell, i don’t only want to do that with you. i want something more with you. if you don’t, fine. but i won’t buy it, because you chased after me, and not him.” jongin catches his breath, shocked that he just blurted all of this out. it’s been buried deep in his brain, his heart, for awhile now. he hasn’t been able to get you out of his head for weeks, and gets giddy when he sees your name pop up on his phone. he’s been silently losing his mind about you, and you haven’t even noticed.
“why didn’t you say anything before?” you ask pathetically, walking over to him.
he lets out a laugh that almost sounds like a cry. “because if you didn’t feel the same way, and we stopped hanging out, i would seriously die,” he says, grabbing your hands. you smile at his words. “i’m going crazy here, y/n.” jongin sighs, looking down at you and bringing your conjoined hands up to his chest.
you faintly feel his fast heartbeat and nearly coo. he’s so endearing, and the way he’s looking at you with his big, brown eyes is enough to bring you to your knees. “jongin, i-“ you cut yourself off to laugh, the next words leaving your mouth about to be so embarrassing. “i really like you, and i don’t know how you couldn’t tell. i mean, every time you said anything, i giggled like a schoolgirl.” you say, pressing your knuckles into his sternum.
“i thought you just wanted to fuck.”
“well, yes,” you blush, looking up at him. “but i really fucking liked—like—you,” you say, letting out a breath.
“are we doing this? i mean, for real?” he asks, dropping your interlocked hands out to the sides. you shrug.
“we could try,” you say, and he smiles, his face lighting up in a way that makes your heart skip a beat and your stomach flip.
and you two really were going to try, the opinions of your friends be damned. if there was a general consensus, it’s that you’d both go insane for the others love, and that’s enough.
