Eddsworld shipping incorrect quotes cause I can
IDK I'm board and wanted to do some incorrect quotes with my current favorite Eddsworld ships (I don't own any of the quotes, I just slapped on names for whos saying what and swapped up some dialogue here and there-)
Ft. @/just-call-me-bin 's Todd too cause I really like JonTodd with her Todd it's too damn cute
Anyways on with the quotes:
Mark: Not everyone is in love with you, you know.
Eduardo: Just because you’re in denial doesn’t mean you should lie.
(Eduardo and Mark are out on the rooftop looking at the stars and moon)
Mark: It’s so beautiful out here.
Eduardo: Yeah, it’s just me, you, and the moon.
Todd and Jon, on the rooftop: HEY! YOU TWO SHOULD KISS!
(They ship it, also Mark and Eduardo have an umbrella so that's why Mark ain't wolfy-)
Edd: Eduardo, I have a question-
Eduardo: I don’t have a thing for Mark at all! I don’t think he's hot!
Edd: That wasn’t the question.
Mark: Until I fell in love with Eduardo I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
Matt: So you were gay… and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay?
Edd: Do you want to know your gay name?
Edd: Yeah, it's your first name.
Tord: Ha ha. Very funny Ed-
Edd, getting down on one knee: And my last name.
(I thought this fit them also this one is where all the "The End" crap and plans never happened, cause if it did this would never work-)
Eduardo: It’s so frustrating.
Eduardo: How in movies the guy keeps dropping the most obvious hints that he's into a girl, but the girl is so oblivious!
Mark, wearing a t-shirt that says “I love you, Eduardo. Please Date Me.”: Oh… Yeah… Hahaha…
Eduardo: Oh come on. No one thinks Mark and I are dating.
Edd, to everyone: Guys, raise your hand if you thought Eduardo and Mark were dating.
Everyone: *Raises their hands*
Eduardo: Mark, put your hand down.
Eduardo: I have an excellent gaydar, I can determine if a person is gay or not with just a glance.
Todd: Mark has been in love with you for years.
Eduardo: I dare you to kiss the cutest person in the room.
Jon: Can you please move aside? I need to get to Todd.
(I don't judge you for shipping Jon and Tord but I don't ship that cause Tord took Jon's life subscription in canon-)
Edd: Kiss, Kill, Marry: Me, Matt, Tom.
Tord: Marry you, kiss Matt, and kill Jon.
Jon, hugging his boyfriend in fear: I WASNT EVEN ONE OF THE OPTIONS!!!
Eduardo: Am I the only straight person in this house?
Mark: I’ve seen the way you look at me. You’re not that straight.
[Todd and Jon are staring into each other’s eyes]
Eduardo: *opens a can of soda*
Jon: We’re having a moment!
Eduardo: I’m having a diet cola!
Eduardo: I mean, I’m mostly straight.
Jon, trying to reach something: Todd, could you give me a hand?
Jon, blushing: Adorable, but that’s not what I meant.
(I thought this fit them and it was cute)
Jon: Todd gave me so many kisses today!
Jon, holding a bag of Hershey’s Kisses: Yeah, he gave me a whole bag of them! :]
Tord: Great news everyone! Edd’s not my friend anymore!
Edd: Tord, that is the worst way to say we are dating ever.
Edd, at Tord: If I were a gardener, I’d put our tu-lips together.
Tom, at Matt: If I were a gardener, you’d be my hoe.
Edd, pulling away from Tord’s kiss: Yeah?
Tom: Sorry, you had a Tord on your face. But it’s gone now, you’re alright.
Matt: I will fight the next person who insults my boyfriend.
Tom: No one understands me and I hate myself…
Matt: Alright you handsome noble creature, square up.
Markuardo haters: I don’t even really buy them as a couple. I mean you’ve got this big, strong, macho alpha surging with testosterone.
Markuardo haters: And then you have Eduardo.
Tom: Love is only a weakness and an evolutionary mistake.
Tord: You're literally making a Valentine's Day card for Matt right now.
Tom, pointing his hot glue gun threateningly: You're on thin fucking ice.
Tord: I wanted to kiss you today.
Tord: I can’t reach your face
Eduardo: Are you in the mood for a quickie?
Mark, choking: W-What?!?!
Eduardo: You know, one of those cake things.
Edd, yelling from the fence: IT’S PRONOUNCED “QUICHE”!
Tord: Tom, what’s that on your neck? Is that a hickey?
Tom, blushing: No! Uhh, it’s a mosquito bite!
Matt, entering: Hey guys!
Tom: So are you the big spoon or the little spoon?
Edd, from across the room: He’s the little spoon.
Eduardo: Guys, that’s really starting to get old.
Jon: I have a boyfriend and you don’t.
Tord, entering the room: Hey Edd, where’s Tom?
Edd: He tripped and fell on his bottom.
(Matt is a power bottom change my mind (you can't) and Tord's a switch that mostly bottoms change my mind (again you can't))
Eduardo: Guys, this is my ex-boyfriend, Mark.
Mark: I told you to stop calling me that.
Mark, showing his ring finger: I’m his husband.
[The neighbors are at the movies]
Todd and Jon: *Both reach for the popcorn at the same time and their fingers touch. They look into each others eyes*
Eduardo and Mark: *Both reach for the popcorn*
Eduardo: Get the fuck off my popcorn.
[Matt and Mark are playing ping pong and it’s starting to get REALLY competitive.]
Matt: I’m sorry, I think, I THINK, the ball missed the table!
[Tom and Eduardo are watching the chaos go down. Eduardo is enjoying it, Tom is horrified]
Tom, about Mark: You really find this attractive on him?
Eduardo: Oh yeah. Are you telling me your not even a little attracted to Matt right now?
Tom: *looks over to Matt*
Matt: *sweaty and a dirty mess from the game, with a hint of crazy in his eyes*
Tom: I think this is the first time in our relationship that I felt like the more attractive one.
Mark: I slept with Eduardo.
Jon: Oh? I hope you both grabbed extra blankets.
Mark: No, I mean we had s-
Jon: I HOPE YOU BOTH GRABBED EXTRA BLANKETS-
Tord: My boyfriend is too tall for me to kiss him on the lips. What should I do?
Tom: Punch him in the stomach then when he leans over in pain, kiss him.
Jon: Kick him in the shin.
Edd: NO TO ALL OF THOSE. JUST ASK ME TO LEAN DOWN-
Eduardo: I wish Mark was here. I miss him...
Jon: Okay, if Mark were here right now what would you two be doing?
Todd: What are you guys, animals? It’s four o’clock in the afternoon!
(Eduardo was being a little dramatic at the start Mark's just out doing somth-)
Tom: I sleep with a harpoon under my pillow.
Tord: Weak. I sleep with a gun.
Eduardo: You’re both pathetic.
Tom: Oh? What do you sleep with?
Eduardo: A buff as hell werewolf
Eduardo: I would want my boyfriend to be the bravest and-
Mark: *Sees bunny, screams like a little girl, and runs away*
Eduardo: -I want that one.
Mark: I’ll speak French between your legs.
Eduardo: That’s the hottest thing I’ve ever been told.
Tord: I’m just picturing someone screaming "bonjour" at a d***
Matt: SACRE BLEU MADEMOISELLE HON HON HON TITTY CROISSANTS!
Todd, HEAVILY offended: None of you should be having sex. Ever.
