#jorlando

[ghirtless]

Wallahi in my next life god better make me a medi white boy cs fym mr knee thing theory gets to have all that

he cannot be THAT funny bro 💔💔💔

[kaidowashere]

Ok so guys so i think most of the people here of katsblr know bout the how lara n orlando situation n i just wants to give my two cents.

First n foremost no matter how much you may dislike orlando n his relationship w lara that does NOT give u any right to go into his comment section, or lara n her families comment sections n hate on him and also harass the family. That's a step to far and honestly I find that gross. Because as someone who finds him weird n thinks he's a HUGE red flag I'm still not gonna go into their comments sections n say 'ur a gross terrible person' because we don't fucking know them. Like hating him from a distance is one thing but fully harassing someone is hella weird. It is none of our business to be honest n if u think it's ok to do that please block n unfollow me because we don't have the same values.

Now that i got the big thing out of the way time for the coke rant. Orlando is fucking weird, and he is a huge red flag to me. Sure I hate him but I'm not gonna go the acc peoples insta's n harass them. I'll keep that in the confines of tumblr. If you don't know a lot about what he has done n r like lacking hella context check my friends page out they have a shit ton of info on their n i got a lot of my info from them. @jorlandoforever love y'all.

1, Orlando has lied about his age. 2, he has been known to rush into marriage or push for it early on in his past relationships. 3, he ALLEGEDLY was dating a 16 year old in 2020. 4, he is in a WhatsApp gc w a bunch of minors. And 5, he lies about other things and has been caught in said lies. These thing should be enough of a red flag for people to realize this guy is not a good guy. And all the people who are defending him aka the tiktoker YC while probably knowing this info are weird. Him ALLEGEDLY proposing to lara when mind u, she is FRESHLY 20, is at the height of her career and they've max been dating for 11 months is fucking crazy in my opinion.

Also to be fully clear I'm not hating on him because he's dating Lara, i'm hating because he is a weirdo who has done weird shit n has tried lying bout his age to make himself more appealing to young impressionable girls. Anywho thank you for listening to my ted talk.

[visionsoffutile]

THE CHOPPEST DUO OF ALL TIME GETS THESE TWO?

[avanzinisluv]

you are all weird as FUCK

[stilepj2]

“I Hope Nobody Catch Us.”

(Re-upload)

Pairing: Choplando x Scamnah (boo) and hints of Lariela (yayyy)

Rating: not rlly smut but smut elements

A/N: please take none of this seriously this was a stupid joke I found funny to write 😭

"Alright Orlando, if you get us caught on this fucking date you're not getting dick for a month, you get me?" Jonah spat at the Brit in his gruff daddy voice as he put on his baseball cap. Orlando whimpered even though he was a grown ass man, answering with a slight nod.

"Yes Jonah..." He said in a low voice, getting a quick nod of approval from Jonah as he made his way to the door, metaphorical tail tucked between his legs the entire time. Jonah didn't seem to mind it, at least that's what it seemed; if anything he seemed to enjoy Orlando's bitch side. That was probably why he liked him more than Lara, who was too much of a baddie to put up with that whiny shit.

Speaking of, he really hoped she didn't find out about this. He didn't even want to imagine the punishment he would get if she did. Not because he was on a date with another person, a man no less, but because this would look bad for her and her Katseye image.

The sun was set the highest it had been for a while, creating a thin layer of sweat over Orlando's skin. He whined about the heat to Jonah, who told him to just take off his million of sweaters. That might as well have meant 'I hate you please die,' in bitchlando terms. Orlando wanted to hold Jonah's meaty buff arm, but Jonah was too nonchalant for that. He pushed the little (older) brit away each time he tried, but Orlando let it happen. Of course he did, he let anything happen. Because he's a bitch boy.

As they walked, Orlando couldn't help but think. What would Lara think of this? Would she care? How much would she care? But at the same time she probably had something going on with at least one of the girls in Katseye, so he supposed it was fair game. Still, he cowered at the thought of her, her bad bitch aura crushing poor Orly too harshly.

The guys got to the cafe that sat on the quiet part of town, small and comfortable, completely void of any paparazzi. Not like either of them were popular enough for paparazzi anyway. Orlando pulled out Jonah's chair cause he's just so romantic, getting a gruff 'thanks' in return. It's fine, Orlando likes Jonah's daddy voice.

Food was mid, in all honesty. Orlando was too busy staring at Jonah with his sad twink eyes as Jonah complained about people not spending $150 on his newest line of shorts with heart eyes, somehow endorsing his 'male' friend's vending habits. As the pair talked, the door opened.

Orlando dared glance at the door for a split second, suddenly getting turned back by Jonah's hand grabbing his stubbly chin and facing their eyes to meet

"Who the fuck are you looking at?" He asked harshly, "keep your eyes on me brit."

"I-I-I'm sorry Jonnie," Orlando pouted, keeping his gaze on Jonah's once more as he sipped his lemonade in the gayest way possible, only fitting for Orlando. As he drank, he smelled something too good. He thought it was himself for a second, but it didn't make sense. His natural musk was too damn strong because Jonah liked it, he reeked. But the smell that he noticed was rich, bold...sharp...oh no.

Ignoring Jonah, Orlando turned.

Beautiful hair going down her back, smooth brown skin littered in gold with traces of tattoos, an insatiable smile. Oh fuck no.

"Babe," Orlando said flatly, "Lara's here."

Jonah scoffed.

"So?"

Orlando looked again.

Curly brown hair, a sharp confident stare, moles littering her body...Oh Lord.

"Daniela is here too."

Jonah grabbed Orland's hair and forced their eyes to meet. Normally Orlando would have liked getting his hair yanked and tossed around by Jonah's big hands, but now was not the time. Even if he might have been hard right now. Didn't matter.

"What do we do??" Orlando asked in a hushed-whisper, his voice going criminally high for absolutely no damn reason. Jonah smirked like he just scammed another person out of $150.

"Just shut up and lock in, stupid." Jonah said flatly. They continued to eat. Orlando glanced to Lara and Daniela, who sat in their own booth in their own disguises. They were talking, and Orlando could have sworn that his own girlfriend was on the verge of frenching Daniela right there. That thought shouldn't have made him so excited, but he was a cuck. He missed his cuck chair in that moment.

"Lando! Answer me bitch, damn." Jonah snarled like an alpha wolf. Orlando turned again, whimpering (even though, again, he's a grown ass man,) under his breath.

"S-s-s-s-sorry Jonnie." Orlando stuttered like an idiot. Jonah rolled his eyes.

"Stop staring at Lara. She don't dick you down like I do does she?"

Orlando thought about it. With all the times she pegged him, it was barely good. Sure, he came every time cause he's a bitch, but with Jonah's 14 inches, it was the best. Orlando's 2 1/2 inches couldn't compare.

"No daddy." Was all he replied.

"That's what I--"

"ORLANDO?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

The boys turned to see Lara staring at them, looking like a literal queen who actually had taste in people. Orland stammered as always, only for his daddy Jonah to step in with a snarl. Lara damn near called animal control.

"This is my man."

Lara rolled her eyes.

"Shut the fuck up Jonah, I don't care about you." She turned to Orlando, who was still curled up and whimpering, "Jesus you're pathetic. I told you not to leave the house after what happened last week, remember?"

The last week in question was when Orlando almost caught Lara and Daniela having the nastiest insane sex in her car.

Orlando sniffled.

"I-I-I'm sorry m-m-m-mommy Lara..." He whispered. Lara sighed.

"Ew don't call me that it sounds weird when you say it." She retorted. She turned back to Jonah. "I don't care what you do with him, just don't get seen in public. Now I'm going to go fuck your girlfriend in the bathroom. Bye."

Jonah was going to retort, but Lara's bad bitch aura was too strong, forcing his surgery lips to shut.

Orlando watched as Daniela and Lara walked into the bathroom, giggling away.

[reiziji]

i just found out about the jorlando fics LMAOO what is going AWNNNN???????? 😭

[dead-staar]

pinky all the way up in me mv teaser Megan!!

[deyjer]