I think one of the things that’s been bothering me lately is when people comment on my appearance. Not compliments (because I fucking love those), but when people automatically connect my appearance with a gender. I know it’s gonna happen for several reasons, but it’s become more one-gendered now that I’m not as thin as I was.
“You look so feminine!”
I’m not comfortable enough with myself to be labeled anything fem. I acknowledge that I often look fem, but now that I’m living at home and I’m super broke I don’t have much of an option. I never get called masculine and that’s my biggest problem.
“You’re more fluid than binary.”
Okay I get your point, and that’s kind of what I’m going for, but I just want to be non-binary. I’m not fluid, I’m neither binary nor agender nor anything but a vague non-binary.
“I love your eyebrows.”
Okay, this one’s a little more of a pet peeve than anything. I’ve gotten this compliment for years because I never plucked my brows beyond a “natural” shape. But my left eyebrow doesn’t grow in fast so I started to fill my brows in. And then I got more compliments. And I started filling them in after last Halloween when I tried to be more masculine (which failed miserably). And since then I’ve been filling them in to make them thicker so that I appear slightly more masculine, but then thick eyebrows became a popular thing so now I just look like I’m attempting to be trendy.
“Your makeup looks so good!”
Stop. I do it because my skin is shit and because it’s like making a temporary art installation. I don’t do it to get compliments. I use it to make myself feel better and because it highlights the only good features I’ve got at the moment. But it makes me look more fem, so now I’m accepted into Ulta and Sephora without getting weird looks.
“Oooo your lips are so shiny. Are you wearing lip gloss? It looks good on you!”
IT’S FUCKING CHAPSTICK. I NEED IT SO MY LIPS DON’T HURT. STOP MAKING IT ABOUT HOW GOOD I LOOK.